Are you actually confident and assertive?

[nistake]

Today I realized something important. It's so easy to get lost in the world of spirituality and nonduality while you're totally ignoring and maybe even repressing basic self-development traits. Realizing that you're awareness and you're not your thoughts is well and good, but we still need to function in the real world, performing at work, interacting with others, solving problems effectively, managing relationships, etc.  

To be more concrete, I'm talking about self-confidence, assertiveness, charisma, not being a nice guy, speaking up, being courageous.

I definitely need to work on these basic aspects of self-development, I've been a nice guy for way too long...

What about you guys?

[JosephKnecht]

You should not be suppressed by someone who is less conscious than you. 

If you are more aware, you should assert yourself and fill the gap in the awareness of others. 

Faking confidence for the sake of appearing confident won't lead anyone to the truth. Genuine confidence is the key. 

[Jacob Morres]

Same boat. I would like to have enormous self love, + confidence. 

Like I want to be confident but simtaneously I don't want to give up myself and my values. 

 

Edited March 7, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Willie]

I have a hard time distinguishing assertiveness from being an asshole. I dislike assholes and don’t want to be seen as one, so I end up not being assertive.

[Origins]

@nistake I don't really believe in "con (as in "to con")-fidence"

Do we look at any animal and say "they're confident"?

How about a planet?

How about a plant?

It's nonsense. Total rubbish. 

You feel free. You feel the ability to move your body and your mind where you want to take it. This is merely the lack of unnecessary contraction. Belief is totally different to con-fidence, but often if we correct the belief that makes a person "appear" as more con-fident we say "this person is confidence". All we're doing is looking at an effect and looking at it as a cause. It's poor differentiation. 

If you want "con-fidence", find your purist state of being, like how we need the purist kind of water to appreciate its richness we neither need to add anything to our flow in order to be "con-fident", it is the reduction of other elements in the water, not the inclusion. Inclusivity for directionality, not inclusivity in order to have the ability to take action. The latter is a compensatory action. Albeit necessary of course when we haven't learned to have the understanding to express this impression-less state, it is where you will need to go. Trust me. I'm God. That's what everyone's saying here after-all. 

But seriously. It's no surprise that most of your body is composed of water that the very thing that makes it possible for us to take action, the ability for the being to express its natural state, something we've incorrectly framed as "con-fidence", is also best expressed when it is of its most pure essence.

Now go tell the planet to be more "con-fident" to fight global warming please. We think that the planet isn't conscious when we're conscious even though we sprung from the planet. What a joke. We miss the most obvious truths when we conform bitches.

Edited March 7, 2021 by Origins

[Origins]

To briefly further add to what I said: 

16 minutes ago, Origins said:

@nistake I don't really believe in "con (as in "to con")-fidence"

Do we look at any animal and say "they're confident"?

How about a planet?

How about a plant?

It's nonsense. Total rubbish. 

You feel free. You feel the ability to move your body and your mind where you want to take it. This is merely the lack of unnecessary contraction. Belief is totally different to con-fidence, but often if we correct the belief that makes a person "appear" as more con-fident we say "this person is confidence". All we're doing is looking at an effect and looking at it as a cause. It's poor differentiation. 

If you want "con-fidence", find your purist state of being, like how we need the purist kind of water to appreciate its richness we neither need to add anything to our flow in order to be "con-fident", it is the reduction of other elements in the water, not the inclusion. Inclusivity for directionality, not inclusivity in order to have the ability to take action. The latter is a compensatory action. Albeit necessary of course when we haven't learned to have the understanding to express this impression-less state, it is where you will need to go. Trust me. I'm God. That's what everyone's saying here after-all. 

But seriously. It's no surprise that most of your body is composed of water that the very thing that makes it possible for us to take action, the ability for the being to express its natural state, something we've incorrectly framed as "con-fidence", is also best expressed when it is of its most pure essence.

Now go tell the planet to be more "con-fident" to fight global warming please. We think that the planet isn't conscious when we're conscious even though we sprung from the planet. What a joke. We miss the most obvious truths when we conform bitches.

What a simple truth for you to invest in regarding what I stated here just above that will clear all of your problems. It's purely the reduction of contraction. Contraction is a supplementary measure that is discerned through your own authority to serve your own ends. You don't have to contract at all if it doesn't follow your natural state of being. We've been taught to contract in so many ways. Contract only what's meaningful to you, truly, for everything else, let it flow, let yourself be and you'll be far greater than any con-fident youtube ad claiming to give you all the con-fidence you need. You will have to invest a lot though, necessary correction we have is ultimately extremely simple but our ability to change, hey look at the human race look at where we are we're so good at adapting to things we should do when we know its good for us its so good to see we change our transport, eating, social, marketing, financial systems, etc so rapidly to bring about the better world we know we can bring, is often not so great. You'll need to dig your foot in the ground, like really, grab a hammer and pin yourself to Jesus's cross here, give him a big spiritual smooch while you're at it, nothing more provocative than that though you hear he'll get nauseous!

Edited March 7, 2021 by Origins

[Megan Alecia]

Assertiveness is a part of life, so yea, I can be. I don't like doing it - but when I do it it kinda gets... exciting dare I say. Nervous energy. 

[Ones]

3 hours ago, Willie said:

I have a hard time distinguishing assertiveness from being an asshole. I dislike assholes and don’t want to be seen as one, so I end up not being assertive.

Assertiveness is a natural consequence of having self respect. If you respect yourself and see yourself as having equal value as anybody else, then you will instantly notice and shut down anyones attempt to treat you lesser than equal. This might make you look like an asshole, but I would rather look like an asshole than betray myself and let people walk all over me. 

[hyruga]

Well, if you build up your spiritual awareness or even emotional awareness, you will naturally become more confident. They are all interlinked and building up one area will help you build up another. 

[nistake]

Thanks for your inputs, quite insightful.

Just to be clear: I'm not talking about faking confidence and assertiveness just to appear more charismatic and/or more attractive. That's highly superficial and I'm not interested in that.

I'm talking about genuine confidence, authentic assertiveness and healthy masculinity. I've put way too much empahsis on my feminine side and I've gone overboard with it. Thus I pretty much repressed my masculine side. I didn't take stand when I should have, I didn't speak up on certain occasions and just went with the flow without actually paying attention what my emotions were trying to say. Going with the flow is well and good, but sometimes there are situations where one actually needs to speak up and set boundaries.

[Flowerfaeiry]

That's good. You need a healthy understanding of the physical world. You may have the feeling to do both at the same time even. That's fine. Explore both. 

[nistake]

@Flowerfaeiry Yup, expressing and integrating both sides would be the ideal solution.

[Logan]

Quote

I have a hard time distinguishing assertiveness from being an asshole. I dislike assholes and don’t want to be seen as one, so I end up not being assertive.

@Willie Contemplate what assertiveness is and contemplate what an asshole is.

 

Edited March 15, 2021 by Logan

[Byun Sean]

yeah this happened to me lol.

 

enlightenment by 19 but couldn't operate well in simple social situations lmfao

 

In the end I had to round myself out by working at a job and interacting with a lot of people.

It's easy to forget that spirituality is liberation of the mind but also of the heart.

[Kalki Avatar]

@nistake Too much spirituality can fck your life situation if you are not going fully into it. I really dont recommend spirituality as a main focus to anyone who is not financially free. You will waste alot of time.

On the other hand, if you want to improve your confidence, you have to be ignorant. It does not mean being fully ignorant, it means you need ego. You need an ego who is sufficiently obscured. An ego with a pride of its own and self deceived into its own ideas/beliefs. 

Everytime you do hardcore spiritual work, the light of consciousness crumbles your ego structure. To do spiritual work you need doubt and questioning, which means bringing light into the ego, causing it to die and weaken your personality. So, this means, if you want a strong personality-ego, stop doing spirituality for a year or at least reduce it significatively from your main focus. Cuz when you are into spirituality, you will be carrying doubts and a weak personality, unless you go fully in and get enligthened. But if not, stop watching your ego so much. Only do spiritual healing and questioning of specific areas, the negative ones through contemplation alone. 

So, how to build a strong-healthy ego? Attach your consciousness by repeating good habits, including some neutral or even bad ones, by not observing yourself. If you can get a job alone and be social every single day, you will get good feedback, social skills and programming of a new personality in months. You wont have to do anything, it will be automatic. But as I said, you will have to sacrifice some of your spiritual habits to become functional in the Matrix as your ego wants. Watch confident people on music videos or associate yourself with them until your consciousness gets identified with watching them unconsciously. Confident is an unconscious thing, it means you already assume you already know. It has no doubts. You have to add assumptions into your awareness to form an armor. Thats why you need to be somewhat dumb. The good news is that those who have never experienced truth and are very confident, are lost and in danger. But those who know truth, can obscure their consciousness into a strong ego and still be aware on some level. You are not fully lost, and yet got the confidence to manipulate the social. 

Overall, another thing to have a powerful ego is to know your purpose and have a vision. That alone from the inside, even if you have nothing externally, can make you unshakable by the outside. Thats your Drive. Ego is nothing but a driver of survival. 

 

Edited March 16, 2021 by Kalki Avatar