Might jump off a mountain tomorrow

[Dunnel]

I want to thank all of you that tried to help, but I have had enough. Im posting this to see if some you can change my mind when I wake up tomorrow. Im not doing it now because its too dark. Sorry to put this pressure on some of you, but I really don't care anymore. I don't care about practical advise like exercise, meditation or diet. Give me a reason to live and I might consider staying. Sorry again for being a piece of shit. 

[Roy]

I'm sorry for your suffering @Dunnel I really am, but please consider that you DO care, which is why you are here. It's unfortunate what you are going through and it certainly isn't fair, but you do have a choice you know, even if it feels like you don't.

You do not have to believe the stories and the things your mind is telling you. No matter how convincing they seem there is absolutely no proof they are true. Maybe you can't see that now, but you can come too. You need to stick around to find out though. One day you will look back on this point of your life and realize it was where you discovered tremendous strength in yourself as a person.

Our lowest and worst moments are our greatest opportunities for growth.

[Leo Gura]

@Dunnel You need to reach out to get some local, face-to-face help with your issues, like a therapist or counselor or parent or friend. This forum cannot be a substitute for that. Get off your computer and go talk to an actual human about your issues. Free hotlines exist. Just google it. But after the hotline you need to find someone local face-to-face. You can find local meet-up support groups. It's important that you stop acting closed-off or stubborn and seek some face-to-face help.

[Merkabah]

@Dunnel What would you say your biggest pain is right now?

[Thought Art]

@Dunnel Reason to live? This moment right now. God gives you lows as part of the path. It's a gift in the long term.

Everyday is a chance for self discovery

Only those caught in a self hypnosis would feel suicidal

Like someone trying to remember a song that we love

Each day we remember more of the melody and tune

Now is the time to learn new things with an open mind. The adventure you are about to embark on by going out and talking to people is your reason to live. Discovering new things about ourself and our minds is incredibly rewarding. Each discovery leads to to paths. Reach out to people. We got you!

Edited March 7, 2021 by Thought Art

[Dunnel]

@Leo Gurahave talked to 4 psychologists. Talked to my parents many times. Tried the spiritual work. Sick of materialism. Tried suicide hotline, was hot garbage. Have no patience for my own bullshit anymore. Thanks for your videos. I might wake up tomorrow taking some sane decisions, but for now I feel pretty determined to jump off and break my legs. I know I could do more, of course. But Ive tried for so many years. 

Edited March 7, 2021 by Dunnel

[Blackhawk]

10 minutes ago, Dunnel said:

@Leo Gurahave talked to 4 psychologists. Talked to my parents many times. Tried the spiritual work. Sick of materialism. Have no patience for my own bullshit anymore. Thanks for your videos. I might wake up tomorrow taking some sane decisions, but for now I feel pretty determined to jump off and break my legs. I know I could do more, of course. But Ive tried for so many years. 

If you jump, make sure it's high up enough, instead of just turning a bad situation into worse if you get paralyzed for life or something. When it's about buildings the height should be at least 10 stories up, not sure what it translates to feet or meters.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I don't want to live either.

Edited March 7, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Dunnel]

@MerkabahExistential dread. Scatterbrained. going back to the same baseline over and over again. Anhedonia.

[Dunnel]

@BlackhawkThat will be the result of me jumping from the mountain. I obviously want to end with death. 

[Blackhawk]

@Dunnel If quantum immortality is true (google it), then the risk is that you will miraculously survive it, but with permanent injuries. But if it's super duper high up then the survival risk should drop to 0% in all universes, in that case, you will survive by finding yourself in a universe where you didn't decide to jump at all.

So that's another reason why it should be super duper high up, just to be sure.

Edited March 7, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Dunnel]

@Blackhawkyeah its pretty high. If I survive though then ill probably give life another chance. I dont think it matters either way. Very liberating. 

[Merkabah]

@Dunnel You have no idea how those problems are so easily taken care of in the path of enlightenment. Don't get me wrong. I know fully well you are not in a place mentally to even think about enlightenment and abstract ideas. But for the sake  of greater good, at least put a pause on your stream of overthinking for now and delay any kinda action. At the moment all you just need is a clearer mind to see things better and back-pedal from self-destructive attitude.  After that there exists myriad sources of support in many forms to bring you back to life and the magic of being alive. Again, TRUST THE WORD OF people in the forum. You'll come to know that your entire existence is pure Love. ❤️

[AtheisticNonduality]

If you give up, worse things will happen. Not just on earth.

[Natasha]

@Dunnel You don't need to do anything, just rest. 

Here's some comedy for you, if you care to listen. They say laughter is the best medicine 

Good night

 

[iTommy]

Hello @Dunnel , I am a channel(er) & would like to offer/gift you healing & energetic nourishment if you'd like. 

Edited March 7, 2021 by iTommy

[Cubbage]

@Dunnel at some point this suffering you're facing will become a catalyst for your deepest growth and eventual realisation of happiness. Praying for you mate, hope you manage to face your demons and persevere, life wants to you to be happy, you have the power to embrace it if you keep moving forward. Much love.

 

[Yali]

Don’t do what your mind tells you to do. That’s the devil talking to you. 

Edited March 7, 2021 by Yali

[Yahya]

@Dunnel I will give you a good reason to live. A good reason to live would be that all the best human beings throughout history of humanity did not want you to commit suicide. I am sure this enough. 

[Matt23]

I've also heard this guy, perhaps several, who've tried committing suicide but failed said that, when they jumped, they immediately regretted it.  

Also, I know you said you were done with practical advice, but have you looked into or tried any heavy metal detox stuff?  I've heard people can really suffer, even emotionally, from heavy metal poisoning, and maybe with just that "simple" fix, it might alleviate lots of suffering that you've been battling using purely psychological methods.  When maybe, it was simply the wrong approach to the issue. 

I hope you feel better and well.  

Maybe here's some reasons to stay.

 

We love you.

Edited March 7, 2021 by Matt23

[charnini]

Please tell me what you are going through. I know someone who attended suicide. He was glad that he didn't follow through. I wish I was there with you but I hope you can at least tell us what going on.