Why do girls spin fairy tales about love and relationships?

[Lyubov]

Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I noticed a lot of really feminine girls spin this sort of love fairy tale about how her man magically fell in love with her, etc when from my perspective it seems like her guy was just on the hunt and sort of made things happen. Why doe girls sort of spin this fairy tales around this?

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take this conversation I was having with a friend (open image in new tab). basically this guy broke her heart a few years ago that was a player and she went on a sort of reckless sex filled spree after of partying. apparently he still texts her. is this just passion? it doesn't really seem like a sturdy form of a relationship. 

Edited March 6, 2021 by Lyubov

[SamC]

Becuase it's from the female perspective. Girls see it as a natural beutiful unbiased process where two people meet each other and fall in love just because they are perfect for each other.

It obviously isn't like though becuase the factor that often makes or brakes the opportunity for a sexual relationship, is how well the guy can game. 

For girls it feels like that becuase they don't have to do the work in the attraction face.

 

 

[At awe]

8 minutes ago, SamC said:

For girls it feels like that becuase they don't have to do the work in the attraction face.

Why not let them do it once in awhile? It’s kind of cute to see them do it?

[Preety_India]

Meh. 

I also used to do this until my heart got broken by a guy (many guys) 

For girls it's a hormonal thing. When we get hormonal for a guy, we can't often distinguish between romantic and sexual. We take sexual as romantic and start spinning Romeo Juliet stories. 

We imagine a great romance ready to uncover.

If girls were pragmatic like boys, then they wouldn't fall pregnant and the world population would have been half of what it's today. So men kinda have to be grateful that women float into a trance when they fall in love or else it would be a bit harder to get her in bed. 

Yes girly girls are like that. Most girls are like that. I was like this for a long time. 

But women are not entirely responsible for this. Universal  culture is partly to blame. Look at all the romantic novels and Disney fantasy stories fed to women. All of it involves telling women how the prince charming will come riding on a horse, sweeping her off her feet and make her feel magical. So there's that feeding a woman's brain by general culture. 

Reality is very different from what women are fed with. This is only happens after a woman gains enough experience. 

Even till my last relationship, I imagined my boyfriend like some Prince Charming made only for me and how it would be happily ever after with him. 

But since then I have wisened up. Now I don't think like that anymore. 

I think every woman goes through dreamy phase and then has her dreams broken and finally has her waking up phase. 

The whole process is cruel though. It's not fun to have your dreamy illusions broken by a heartbreaker. 

This is what causes a lot of women to get sour over time. They can no longer connect or relate to that innocent version of themselves where they would have romantic dreams about men 

It's all about female brain chemistry. Thinking that way stimulates her emotionally and sexually. 

If a woman thought pragmatically, she would remain dry. 

Women don't rely on porn to get wet. They rely on erotica novels and romantic memories and lovey dovey  scenarios to get wet. 

That's why a man directly talking about sex doesn't stimulate a woman, rather offends her 

You see in the movies the guy standing at her door with a bunch of roses. Well for a good reason. 

Women feel sexy and sexual after receiving emotional stimulation from the guy. 

Otherwise the guy ends up with epic failure and goes home. 

If you can't make her cry or laugh at the same time, you have failed to secure her. 

If you can make her cry or laugh at the same time, Congratulations. She will be in your bed very soon 

The way to a man is through his dick 

The way to a woman is through her heart. 

No heart  no woman. 

Woman are from Venus. Men from Mars.

 

[At awe]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

The way to a man is through his dick

No. Gross oversimplification. 

[Lyubov]

@Preety_Indiathanks for the insight. My friend got kinda defensive when I was poking holes in her stuff and I thought it was kinda gaslighty to do it so I stopped. Kinda for her to figure out. I’m guessing when a woman leaves this phase a really healthy and long term relationship can begin. I think when men can set aside their narcissistic desires to bed every woman that’s their wake up call.

[Preety_India]

@Lyubov  I really don't see a problem with being dreamy. I've seen men being dreamy as well. 

As long as the relationship is going good, nothing else matters really. 

It being a fairy tale just adds a bit of uniqueness to the relationship. 

I mean,c'mon life shouldn't be so cut and dry. 

It's gonna be a boring old age anyway. 

Why not dream a bit when young. Those memories are worth cherishing an entire life. 

 

[Lyubov]

Just now, Preety_India said:

@Lyubov  I really don't see a problem with being dreamy. I've seen men being dreamy as well. 

As long as the relationship is going good, nothing else matters really. 

It being a fairy tale just adds a bit of uniqueness to the relationship. 

I mean,c'mon life shouldn't be so cut and dry. 

It's gonna be a boring old age anyway. 

Why not dream a bit when young. Those memories are worth cherishing an entire life. 

 

oh yeah, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. I just think a nice balance is needed so one doesn't get so wrapped up and attached to these notions that when the eventual heart break occurs jadedness and resentment sets in. I think of it sort of like a healthy diet. Some cake and candy sweetens it but you can't just eat that to stay healthy.

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

break occurs jadedness and resentment sets in.

 I'm yet to come across a woman who didn't feel jaded after a relationship failure. You gotta be the one who is dreaming now. 

If you want to keep a woman happy, do what she likes. 

If you decide to play the guy who ignores a woman on purpose so that she is attracted to the punk attitude, it only works for a while. 

I know that kind of advice is given in pua circles 

But in reality it only works on really immature women. Most women sense tactics. 

[Jacobsrw]

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I noticed a lot of really feminine girls spin this sort of love fairy tale about how her man magically fell in love with her, etc when from my perspective it seems like her guy was just on the hunt and sort of made things happen. Why doe girls sort of spin this fairy tales around this?

take this conversation I was having with a friend (open image in new tab). basically this guy broke her heart a few years ago that was a player and she went on a sort of reckless sex filled spree after of partying. apparently he still texts her. is this just passion? it doesn't really seem like a sturdy form of a relationship. 

Personally, I feel because it removes the underlying fear of their partner not being a potential match. If you believe you’ve already found ‘the one’, all effort in pursing that objective can be now put to rest. In other words, its a self fulfilling prophecy that eliminates the need to validate finding the “one”. It crudely fills the void, so to speak

A lot of people over look the simple fact that almost anyone could be ‘the one’, it’s a matter of perspective and situational susceptibility. One can accustom their personality to any person, and we see many do this depending on how needy or desperate their aim for a relationship may be. The whole ‘soul partner’ is a fabrication of ones mind.

Edited March 6, 2021 by Jacobsrw

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Jacobsrw said:

The whole ‘soul partner’ is a fabrication of ones mind.

Yeah, took some time to figure that out. 

 

[Chew211]

The media people consume shape how they interpret the world, their desires, etc. 

She just seems like a girl who consumed a lot of mainstream romance stories, and she unironically believes in those tropes. 

From my experience, generally speaking, the more experienced women don't unironically believe in what the mainstream would call love. They have their real experiences to go off of. They might act like they do believe it though, just because it'd be socially unacceptable for them to act otherwise. 

I personally find it suffocating if a girl thinks I'm her soulmate or whatever. Happened to me twice. I have a natural urge to distance myself, and become not attracted to them, despite me being highly attracted before. 

That being said, before figured out the whole dating stuff, I was a lot like your friend. I had a lot of naiive notions about how love works. Or rather, how it "should".

 

[SamC]

50 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

It's all about female brain chemistry. Thinking that way stimulates her emotionally and sexually. 

Women don't rely on porn to get wet. They rely on erotica novels and romantic memories and lovey dovey  scenarios to get wet. 

Very good insigths. Thanks

50 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

That's why a man directly talking about sex doesn't stimulate a woman, rather offends her 

What are girls seeking in one word? Love of course but in what form?

Containment? Security? Able to Express? What's the first word that pops up?@Preety_India

 

[Emerald]

Because women grow an attraction through thinking about and longing for the man when he is away. 

The story is more of a creative pursuit that inspires deeper feelings. This usually takes a bit of introspection to be able to see through the fabrication. And then even more introspection to allow that aspect of the female sexual instinct to be there and to see through it simultaneously. 

And the issue comes to be when you can no longer differentiate between the fairy tale and the reality and that fantasy steals you away from the reality.

But story and fantasy is just part of the way the female sex drive works. That's why women will tend to read erotica as opposed to watching porn. It's all about imagining the story unfold.

Like a man might imagine having sex with a woman. But a woman will imagine a bunch of scenarios that tug at her heart strings that often lead up to sex. 

And it feels fairytale-like from the female perspective, as it's a very blissful feeling to fall in love. 

[Lyubov]

27 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Because women grow an attraction through thinking about and longing for the man when he is away. 

The story is more of a creative pursuit that inspires deeper feelings. This usually takes a bit of introspection to be able to see through the fabrication. And then even more introspection to allow that aspect of the female sexual instinct to be there and to see through it simultaneously. 

And the issue comes to be when you can no longer differentiate between the fairy tale and the reality and that fantasy steals you away from the reality.

But story and fantasy is just part of the way the female sex drive works. That's why women will tend to read erotica as opposed to watching porn. It's all about imagining the story unfold.

Like a man might imagine having sex with a woman. But a woman will imagine a bunch of scenarios that tug at her heart strings that often lead up to sex. 

And it feels fairytale-like from the female perspective, as it's a very blissful feeling to fall in love. 

So you have any advice how a man can navigate a woman’s desire to do this, allow her to experience this, but also not get sucked in or overly indulge her or manipulate her when she feels like this? Does it just sort of have a natural design to it that if you are a man with healthy grounding, good faith and good self esteem you won’t get overly sucked in? 

Edited March 6, 2021 by Lyubov

[Gesundheit]

As if tits and ass are objectively sexy. The same phenomenon occurs on both sides. It's called delusional thinking.

Edited March 7, 2021 by Gesundheit

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

As if tits and ass are objectively sexy. 

they sure are to me 

[Gili Trawangan]

I don't see anything wrong with what she was saying. She says that when you meet people anything can happen but most come and go. True. And that sometimes, with a particular person, after a while, you fall for them and stop looking for other people in the process. Also very possible.

She's right, if it ever happens to you you'll see 

[Byun Sean]

it sounds like the guy is just not right for her.

If hes a player and not willing to commit to her she should put up a boundary, say no, and move on.

 

The fairy tale stuff is pretty universal for girls and has nothing to do with being vulnerable to manipulation or abuse imo.

[Gesundheit]

2 hours ago, Lyubov said:

they sure are to me 

That's cuz you haven't yet seen a girl poop ?