Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationship

[zeroISinfinity]

35 minutes ago, Hulia said:

 

You have no idea! HOW toxic this guy was. Beyond everything on this planet. My mother has just a faint trait of this type of toxicity, but by far not to this extent. I was shocked: why her forehead looks exactly the same as his? what both of them can have in common? And he was not my partner, we were related.  

 

• Sorry to hear that. So are you looking for partner that will be like you. 
• What you like,what are your interests in general? 
• Ussually as you know women will set herself up to be seen, approached etc for a guy whom she likes. 
• So now we need to find that guy first does it, other way around.Invert the whole thing upside down. 

Besides I can never be toxic because I am already empathic. I would never let somebody feel bad, because I feel the same

• Ah ok. 

 

My mother also tried to escape her mother, which is my grandma 

• My mother too hahaha but for a guy with motorcycle. Nowonder I love my grandma I would be the same. 

 

. 

[zeroISinfinity]

I love ukrainian women they are GD normal and know proper gender roles. 

Edited March 15, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[integral]

I thought breaking your core value = truth, to defend your self with "narratives and make up whatever stories I want to suit my agendas and preserve/survive my identity. " -gesundheit, was something you didn't want to do. 

Following that logic this makes sense as a next step:

13 hours ago, integral said:

Wouldn't it be easier to community harmoniously from the beginning to prevent the need to later have to defend?

Also aren't there plenty of wise quotes about loving oneself unconditionally? Removing any need to defend? 

If that energy used to defend could be used for something else, how would you conduct your self ideally?

Not trying to change you, just pointing out the obvious. I relate alot of your ideas, personality i disrespect ethics, but in practice its been proven ineffective because it lacks holistic thinking. Just pointing out that what you probably want is not what your ego is defending, thats a distraction. 

9 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

You guys don't recognize that you also are causing me distress by trying to change me to fit into your ideals of how a human should be. We're literally doing the same thing. You're just being indirect about it and trying to appeal to my ego from a different angle.

(Notice how I was able to recognize that before you did, and then tell you about it directly. I doubt you'd ever have beaten me to this insight under any circumstances, because being indirect misses the point, by definition).

Ive been playing devils advocate, seeing conflicts in your writing and pointing them out.  I was fully aware while writing my last comment that it resembled a common pattern to pursued change. In actuality i was just following the logical next step. This conversation began because i saw you where making things up as you go to defend your self (revealed by the conflicting statements). You then maturely introspected and communicated it. Good stuff. 

9 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

Me being who I am is causing distress to others. But see, I recognize that and I am already actively trying to change it by chasing enlightenment. I am looking inwards and taking responsibility. You guys don't recognize that you also are causing me distress by trying to change me to fit into your ideals of how a human should be.

Humans naturally move towards more holistic thinking, its not about a ideal people are pushing on to you. We are pointing to vertical growth.

Its not that i think something is wrong with you, its im trying to point to what you really want and just dont know it yet.  

 

[Gesundheit]

1 hour ago, integral said:

I thought breaking your core value = truth, to defend your self with "narratives and make up whatever stories I want to suit my agendas and preserve/survive my identity. " -gesundheit, was something you didn't want to do.

It is something I don't want to do, but I have this curse that's making me do it compulsively (By the way, when I say curse, I just mean ego. I use the curse narrative to paint a picture, both for myself and others). It's not my choice. I am the victim of my own lies. I am not fully aligned with truth and have said that before. If I was 100% aligned, I would be enlightened. Alignment means awareness and embodiment. I have higher levels of awareness than of embodiment, like most people.

The difference between me and others is that I may have been 60% aligned with truth before this thread, but now I feel like I have achieved a 10% increase overall. Most people are barely at a few percents. Most people on the forum are at a few tens of percents. So I am more aligned than most people, at least in my personal estimate.

1 hour ago, integral said:

Not trying to change you.

BS. You wouldn't be talking if you didn't. Changing the outside world is the ego's deepest desire. Me saying this carry a desire to change you as well. It's inevitable.

1 hour ago, integral said:

just pointing out the obvious. I relate alot of your ideas, personality i disrespect ethics, but in practice its been proven ineffective because it lacks holistic thinking. Just pointing out that what you probably want is not what your ego is defending, thats a distraction. 

Ive been playing devils advocate, seeing conflicts in your writing and pointing them out.  I was fully aware while writing my last comment that it resembled a common pattern to pursued change. In actuality i was just following the logical next step.

I don't believe in this nonsense, or like you'd say, mental gymnastics. Calling it "the obvious" is either an unconscious belief of yours, or a subtle desire to change me. Either way, it's all in your mind.

And yes, I've noticed you playing the devil's advocate from the beginning. You asked me if I found that aggressive, and I answered no.

1 hour ago, integral said:

This conversation began because i saw you where making things up as you go to defend your self (revealed by the conflicting statements). You then maturely introspected and communicated it. Good stuff. 

That's where the 10% increase happened.

1 hour ago, integral said:

Humans naturally move towards more holistic thinking, its not about a ideal people are pushing on to you. We are pointing to vertical growth.

Beliefs and ideas. What you imagine is vertical growth is not necessarily the same vertical growth that I imagine. You want me to adopt your version of vertical growth, that's all. There's no need to hide that, if you're aware.

Quote

Its not that i think something is wrong with you, its im trying to point to what you really want and just dont know it yet.

What do I really want? Can you say it directly?

Edited March 15, 2021 by Gesundheit

[Hulia]

1 hour ago, zeroISinfinity said:

• Sorry to hear that. So are you looking for partner that will be like you. 

I am not looking for a partner, though I think a little of physical cuddle-snuggle would be nice, I am tired of astral. 

What I was saying, that I am just attracted to people who are like me, but it doesn´t mean; I need them for a partner.

1 hour ago, zeroISinfinity said:

I love ukrainian women they are GD normal and know proper gender roles. 

How many ukrainian women do you know? 

[zeroISinfinity]

37 minutes ago, Hulia said:

I am not looking for a partner, though I think a little of physical cuddle-snuggle would be nice, I am tired of astral. 

Haha 

Quote

What I was saying, that I am just attracted to people who are like me, but it doesn´t mean; I need them for a partner.

Ah ok. 

Quote

How many ukrainian women do you know? 

Doesn't matter. 

Enjoyed this convo thank you. Realized why I have this preferences. Always wondered. 

 

Edited March 15, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[Hulia]

15 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

Enjoyed this convo thank you. Realized why I have this preferences. Always wondered

not attachments but preferences

you are wellcome

[integral]

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

Beliefs and ideas. What you imagine is vertical growth is not necessarily the same vertical growth that I imagine. You want me to adopt your version of vertical growth, that's all. There's no need to hide that, if you're aware.

Its possible. What is your version of vertical growth? I think it was mentioned before something to do with transcending human phycology? But isnt this a reflection of your current vertical level? Everyone thinks they have it all figured out at each level. 

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

What do I really want? Can you say it directly?

12 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

I am already actively trying to change it by chasing enlightenment

Is this it? 

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

I don't believe in this nonsense, or like you'd say, mental gymnastics. Calling it "the obvious" is either an unconscious belief of yours, or a subtle desire to change me. Either way, it's all in your mind.

hmmm its hard to know what parts in the past where made up for defense. I guess in this case it wasn't.

 

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

BS. You wouldn't be talking if you didn't. Changing the outside world is the ego's deepest desire. Me saying this carry a desire to change you as well. It's inevitable.

Honestly i have no idea why i do anything. Its just blank.

Ok, im just doing it to pass time. This seems to be it. Ratter then sitting somewhere doing nothing, ill nothing here instead.   

The character dreams about changing the world, raising collecting consciousness.

 

Seeing as where on the subject id like to learn more about this: 

On 3/10/2021 at 6:12 PM, Gesundheit said:

Psychological needs DO NOT exist after enlightenment!

Please do not paraphrase from Emerald. She projected a whole lot of things. I didn't say neglect or stop caring for yourself whether physically or psychologically. She misinterpreted what I said out of whatever things she's experiencing.

Enlightenment is paradoxical. So whatever applies before enlightenment does not necessarily apply after. That's what I'm saying.

The self/ego, which is what psychology essentially is, is gone after full enlightenment, which I'm not claiming that I have, neither am I claiming that it's 100% possible. It's just what it seems to me from my experiences.

I must say that it may not be realistic to remove the self/ego 100%. However, 99% may be possible. If you had only 1% of your current ego, would you still have the same needs or only 1% of them? And wouldn't that change your whole understanding of psychology? Because if you can be well without what you initially thought is necessary, then what does that say about its actual value? Note also that this opens the door to this unique possibility: The remaining 1% can then be viewed as a new 100% and then one can work on removing 99% of it, and so forth.

If you put an enlightened "person" (I'm using quotation marks because I know some genius will come and say that the person can't be enlightened) and an unenlightened person to the same psychological challenges, how do you anticipate their reactions will be? How will they be affected, physically, emotionally, and psychologically? And who will experience more suffering and form more defence mechanisms? If you disagree, can you give me at least one example of what you expect to happen in a hypothetical situation?

What seems to be missing in your worldview is the importance of the relationship between conscious awareness and the subconscious mind. Enlightenment shifts this relationship. The subconscious becomes conscious, the shadow gets reintegrated, and the self becomes The Self. In traditional psychology, it is assumed that The Mind is made-up of different smaller "minds". This distinction is true before enlightenment (I guess because it's coming from the general population). And it's the basis of enlightenment work. People have different definitions of enlightenment, so it may be tricky to find a common ground here. But that's what I'm saying essentially. If you have any criticism of my views, please critique what I said. Others interpret things from their povs, and I don't take ownership of/responsibility for anything outside of my own words. Thanks.

From what i can tell so far, the character cant awaken, that's the "trick". What your describing here sounds like changing states. Mixing waking up with growing up. 

Psychological needs do not exist in some states, but appear to be unavoidable in this default state. 

[Gesundheit]

1 hour ago, integral said:

What is your version of vertical growth?

It doesn't matter what I think it is. There's an intuitive guidance that's leading the process. And I trust in it.

I don't know what to do with the rest of what you said. Honestly, it doesn't spark enough interest in me to reply.

Anyway, and in case you're interested, this song describes accurately how I currently feel:

 

[integral]

@Gesundheit There's this guru that focuses on waking people up that are to smart. It might or might not be useful.

 

Edited March 15, 2021 by integral

[Gesundheit]

9 minutes ago, integral said:

@Gesundheit There's this guru that focuses on waking people up that are to smart. It might or might not be useful.

 

I've watched about the first 10 minutes and then stopped.

First, I don't think that I am smart. I mean, I could be somewhere in the top 30% of the general population, but I'm definitely not in the top 10%. However, I am highly aware in the present moment. My baseline level of consciousness is probably amongst the highest in the world. Not the highest, but probably somewhere in the top 10%. For me, that could count as intelligence.

Second, he explained being smart as having an overload of information, which is not the case for me. I rarely watch any videos or read any books anymore. I spend most of my spare time on spiritual practices and entertainment.

But sure, I have my beliefs about enlightenment. Do I need to drop them? Maybe, but certainly not now. Dropping my enlightenment beliefs would leave me as I currently am, nothing would really change. I'm not suffering per se, but I am not fully satisfied, either. If I let go of seeking enlightenment, then you will have to deal with my aggressiveness for the rest of my life lol. Me seeking enlightenment is in your best interests, my friend. Trust me, you don't want me to stop.

[Hulia]

@zeroISinfinity Using Urban Dictionary now to understand you better, my friend, my yak shaver. Amazing! Now I understand, why I don´t understand american movies. It´s another language!

[zeroISinfinity]

13 hours ago, Hulia said:

@zeroISinfinity Using Urban Dictionary now to understand you better, my friend, my yak shaver. Amazing! Now I understand, why I don´t understand american movies. It´s another language!

Hahahahahahahahaha. 

No not yak shaver at all but looking at things in no BS way. 

Like could imagine next scene. 

Guy at same age as Teal (ideally but she can't get that) wakes next morning next to her. She is sleeping and he thinks. Hey there is women from my work lot younger with fine ass and she is all about me. 

There is no story Teal can brainswash him with to prevent him to leave her. 

[Lyubov]

20 hours ago, zeroISinfinity said:

I love ukrainian women they are GD normal and know proper gender roles. 

Same... but it's a double edged sword. Enjoy refined femininity and stunning beauty but with that comes the drama and friction and unpredictable nature of her.

[zeroISinfinity]

@Lyubov If that's the price I take it. Already did.

[Hulia]

4 hours ago, zeroISinfinity said:

No not yak shaver at all but looking at things in no BS way. 

Why don´t you want to be a yak shaver? It´s such a beautiful definition, I am enchanted  

"Any seemingly pointless activity which is actually necessary to solve a problem which solves a problem which, several levels of recursion later, solves the real problem you're working on."

[zeroISinfinity]

29 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Why don´t you want to be a yak shaver? It´s such a beautiful definition, I am enchanted  

Pleasure is all mine. 

Quote

"Any seemingly pointless activity which is actually necessary to solve a problem which solves a problem which, several levels of recursion later, solves the real problem you're working on."

Hahahahaha.

 

Derailed topic. So what women need in relationship. @Hulia

List is so long or short. Truth is that women just don't know. If they knew there would be none of this talk. 

 

[Leo Gura]

Enough