intotheblack

Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationship

658 posts in this topic

12 hours ago, Emerald said:

Femininity and clinginess don’t always go together.

But if what you’re calling “clinginess” is just the drive for emotional intimacy, then yes... you’ll have a very hard time finding a woman who is feminine and in touch with that femininity who isn’t looking for emotional depth and intimacy.

Clinginess in the other hand is a symptom of anxious attachment and fear of abandonment. And this can be experienced by both men and women.

So, it would be unwise to characterize a women in her healthy orientation as being clingy. You will miss the actual experience of truly experiencing the feminine. 

12 hours ago, integral said:

Thank you. Yes you are correct. 

Full femininity /emotional intimacy is not for me. But am I really fully attracted to it. Yes I am. "boyish" type  is so unnactractive for  me completelly. 

I am not able to provide that to her yet at the very same time those women are super attracted to my "manliness" and we got ourselves in paradox. 

I settle for middle and it's simple as that. 

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13 hours ago, zeroISinfinity said:

@Hulia It's tricky. It really is.

Well for example I would like full feminine but that's full clinginess. So slice it either way you want it you have to accept, you have to compromise and to really learn to swim. Some things you get and some not and it's same for her. 

 

 

One last question. You will definitely know the answer, since you are pragmatic about this stuff. Why do you want to fix your private life? To have regular sex? To have somebody around you? Something else?

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2 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

@Gesundheit I've been there. Oh my God. This is exactly what I used to believe!

All I'm going to say is - Prepare yourself for a rude awakening the day you feel lonely. The day you really feel it, you'll have an existential crisis. This is what happened to me. I speak based on experience.

Noted, although I don't believe that will be the case for me. Who knows? We'll see.

2 hours ago, integral said:

 

hmm everything i said was ignored. This is more justifying things. 

Topics:

1)  Nothing is done because you want to help people, its about a addiction you commented about.

2) A Communication style that triggers peoples emotions comes naturally to you thats the real underling reason you do it. 

3) 1 and 2 are being masked by elaborate stories (justifying them). Bias. 

You're looking at the details but not connecting the dots properly.

I said that helping people is a compulsive behavior of mine, and I also said that I do prefer this style of communication. You're assuming that my style is somehow connected with the compulsion, and that's correct, but the way you're connecting the two issues is wrong. In my top 10 values, truth and practicality are the top 2, with truth in the lead. So, if when I am faced with a situation where I have to choose between truth or practicality, I will choose truth, because I believe that it's the way to go. While practicality might seem tempting to a lot of people, it only serves as a crutch and a sedative for the actual problem. It doesn't address the real underlying issue of lack of completeness. Truth, on the other hand, promotes healing on the long term, even though it won't be an easy pill to swallow. So if I am aligned with my top values, I will be blunt instead of comforting. When I am comforting others, I'm actually being a hypocrite with myself. And I have done that before, but not anymore.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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1 hour ago, Surfingthewave said:

@Gesundheit 

What you so describe can potentially be very damaging for people, triggering people's emotions. You're not helping people on here I'm sorry to say.

Give yourself some love and attention you are looking for. That's the key to this. You will be helping others that way.

I'm sorry to hear you are harsh on yourself. We attract what we give. Perhaps work on your limiting beliefs. Work on yourself rather than all this mental masturbation and justifying your position. 

Meditation, yoga, therapy etc etc. 

You're paradigm-locked and have no clue about me. But yes, the practices you suggested are good and I do them. In fact, I just returned from a 2 hours of walking meditation session.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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@Gesundheit Did my aggression help you grow? lol 

What about aggression with out any sense, does that help growth? (how most people are experiencing it)

Edited by integral

How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways? Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness? Are the things you are posting in alignment with principles of higher consciousness and higher stages of ego development? Are you acting in a mature or immature way? Are you being selfish or selfless in your communication? Are you acting like a monkey or like a God-like being?

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57 minutes ago, Hulia said:

One last question. You will definitely know the answer, since you are pragmatic about this stuff. Why do you want to fix your private life? To have regular sex? To have somebody around you? 

14 hours ago, integral said:

Because I am coming out from very turbulent period. 

Doesn't matter. Had fun with this topics. Mostly to not lose my grip regarding life. 

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20 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

In my top 10 values, truth and practicality are the top 2, with truth in the lead.

@Gesundheit Maybe these values should be also flexible to a context. Different people on different stages maybe need different kind of push to make them grow.

Just an idea.

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22 minutes ago, integral said:

@Gesundheit Did my aggression help you grow? lol 

Haven't perceived any aggression. You're still moderate, I would say, compared to the rest here.

22 minutes ago, integral said:

@Gesundheit 

What about aggression with out any sense, does that help growth? 

It depends on you more than it depends on it.

Some aggression can be destructive. And that's the whole point, because psychologically, deconstruction has a huge value, similar to construction. Enlightenment removes the person, and there's no easy way to do that. Life throws harsh challenges onto people, randomly so to speak. If you're too soft, you won't be able to handle them very well, and you will get hurt psychologically, which will make you either question your current self and grow, or cling to it and stay stuck and form a shadow.

Physically, however, deconstruction is not always beneficial. But challenge is necessary to make a more functional, healthier, and stronger body. Obviously, if you want to become healthier, you go to the gym and challenge the limitations of your current body.

Edited by Gesundheit

If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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3 minutes ago, AdamR95 said:

@Gesundheit Maybe these values should be also flexible to a context. Different people on different stages maybe need different kind of push to make them grow.

Just an idea.

It depends. When discussing enlightenment, there's no way I'm going to play with my values. Truth always comes first. In other discussions, of course, I try my best to balance.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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@Samuel Garcia @ZeroInfinity @Gesundheit

I find that a lot of people see humanity as something to get rid of.

Since we’re on a Teal Swan related thread anyway, perhaps this video will be helpful in regards to recognizing the issues with thinking that enlightenment “cures” someone of certain aspects of human nature. 

She just posted it as a throwback on her Facebook, and I thought it was pretty synchronistic given our conversation.

Mind you, I’ve not seen it yet. Will watch it now. But resistance to humanity can cause a lot of issues. 


Are you struggling with self-sabotage and CONSTANTLY standing in the way of your own success? 

If so, and if you're looking for an experienced coach to help you discover and resolve the root of the issue, you can click this link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if my program is a good fit for you.

 

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1 hour ago, zeroISinfinity said:

Because I am coming out from very turbulent period. 

What happened? Are you ok now?

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29 minutes ago, Emerald said:

@Samuel Garcia @ZeroInfinity @Gesundheit

I find that a lot of people see humanity as something to get rid of.

Since we’re on a Teal Swan related thread anyway, perhaps this video will be helpful in regards to recognizing the issues with thinking that enlightenment “cures” someone of certain aspects of human nature. 

She just posted it as a throwback on her Facebook, and I thought it was pretty synchronistic given our conversation.

Mind you, I’ve not seen it yet. Will watch it now. But resistance to humanity can cause a lot of issues. 

This woman is pathetic and false. I was glad ,we sidestepped her.. and now again ??‍♀️

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3 minutes ago, Hulia said:

This woman is pathetic and false. I was glad ,we sidestepped her.. and now again ??‍♀️

What specifically about what she shared is false? And what is your rationale for saying that?

I’m more than willing to hear you out, but you have to support your stance for me to give your POV any credence.


Are you struggling with self-sabotage and CONSTANTLY standing in the way of your own success? 

If so, and if you're looking for an experienced coach to help you discover and resolve the root of the issue, you can click this link to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if my program is a good fit for you.

 

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@Hulia she does have a weird vibe sometimes, especially a couple of years ago. But I find most of what she shares really useful.

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3 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

@Hulia she does have a weird vibe sometimes, especially a couple of years ago. But I find most of what she shares really useful.

@Farnaby @Emerald I have that intution about her too. I have the feeling that she really isnt that smart or enlightened as she presented herself, It looks to me that she puts many unecessary beliefs and ballast in her videos.

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21 minutes ago, Hulia said:

This woman is pathetic and false. I was glad ,we sidestepped her.. and now again ??‍♀️

Haha love you. Thank you. 

Actual life experience brings wisdom. I want to fantasize about unicorns but they ain't no real. 

Ukrainian women..... but you ain't no naive hahahaha. 

Wish you well. 

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18 minutes ago, Emerald said:

What specifically about what she shared is false? And what is your rationale for saying that?

I’m more than willing to hear you out, but you have to support your stance for me to give your POV any credence.

I don´t know, maybe this general attitude that the others owe her something. To give more details I have to watch her video more than 3 minutes, but I don´t want to.

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When harsher societal conditions makes you wise enough to see through entire l human game.

Blessing and a curse at the same time to came from this culture. 

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@Origins sorry you got tagged. 

I love TEAL SWAN but my only problem is that I can't watch her videos. I get hypnotized while watching. I don't know why that happens every time and I have to gather myself every time after watching her every 20 seconds. 

Otherwise she is cool. 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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