intotheblack

Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationship

658 posts in this topic

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No there isn't. That is chief the self-deception and meta-self-bias at work here.

What you are talking about is survival value. And it comes in infinite flavors. One flavor of survival value is big tits. Another flavor of survival value is masculine containment or marriage or intimacy.

There is no reason whatsoever that intimacy is more important than big tits. If you think there is, that's because it's more important TO YOU.

To say that big tits are just as functional as little tits is to not see the situation holistically. What we are attracted to need not have any functional value per se. A giant peacock's tail is not functional. A little tits are not functional when it comes to sticking your dick between them. So there are many facets to "functional". Your definition of "functional" is already corrupted by your self-biases. If you were a man, you wound find big tits very functional.

So would you say that women who have small tits or are flat chested are going to have a harder attracting and keeping men than women with bigger ones?

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25 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

@Leo Gura I think in situations like this it is crucial to mind the context of the situation and whether we are talking in the absolute sense or relative sense. In the absolute sense, survival is survival. But in the relative sense, there is a lot of degrees that need to be considered. I'm pretty sure you already know this. But some people on this forum will take that as a blanket statement and run with it without looking at context and nuance. That's my concern because that can lead to some nasty results for both men and women.

My point here is meta. It's a point about self-bias and how it distorts the perceptions of both men and women.

I agree that selfish men can and will take my words and use them to act like devils.

25 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So would you say that women who have small tits or are flat chested are going to have a harder attracting and keeping men than women with bigger ones?

No doubt about it. It does not even need to be said. Just like shy guys will have a harder time attracting and keeping women.

Which is why women with nice tits love to show them off to everyone in subtle ways. She knows how powerful it is. She uses those tits to score a higher quality man. A beautiful woman knows how to use her beauty to skate by in life, in the same way that a bird knows how to flap its wings.

They've even done studies on this. Women with bigger tits earn 30-40% more tips as waitresses or cashiers than the same woman with smaller tits. They will do the experiment with the same exact woman, but stuff her chest with cotton to triple her cup size. She starts earning way more tips of course. It fact, if you are a waitress, getting fake tits just makes pure business sense because they will pay for themselves within a few years. $7000 for a pair of big tits is a money maker. Which is why most strippers get fake tits. A stripper in Vegas with huge tits will earn back her money within a month!

The nice thing about money is that it shows you very starkly what a thing is worth.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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Men tipped 30% more

Women tipped 40% more

Not sure how that works...

Edited by integral

How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways? Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness? Are the things you are posting in alignment with principles of higher consciousness and higher stages of ego development? Are you acting in a mature or immature way? Are you being selfish or selfless in your communication? Are you acting like a monkey or like a God-like being?

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I apologize @Forestluv

it's just like  you know the attititude. Don't ever get tricked and fooled by anything. 

@Raptorsin7 I  do have gf. Yes she is beautiful and has those good qualities @Emerald speaks about. 

To get that you yourself have to posses those values, qualities etc to actually be able to recognize. 

My high quality lady is just "mundane" in relative survival sense. 

I do indeed attract that. 

 

 

 

 

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9 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

I  do have gf. Yes she is beautiful and has those good qualities @Emerald speaks about. 

To get that you yourself have to posses those values, qualities etc to actually be able to recognize. 

I call bs. You still have so much internal conflict to resolve no way she is the highest quality mate a man could attract.  

Maybe for you that's the pinnacle and she is great, but from my pov you still have work to do and so I think there are still higher quality people you don't have access to yet.

 

 

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34 minutes ago, integral said:

Men tipped 30% more

Women tipped 40% more

Not sure how that works...

Everyone loves a big pair of tits. Fun for the whole family :D


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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2 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

 

I call bs. You still have so much internal conflict to resolve no way she is the highest quality mate a man could attract.  

Mundane in sense of no social recognition, she is not rich etc. None of this are important to me and to most man too. Beautiful women with good personality is what most people want. 

2 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Maybe for you that's the pinnacle and she is great, but from my pov you still have work to do and so I think there are still higher quality people you don't have access to yet.

 

 

I am an actual Guy with hazel eyes and abs  of this place. 

High quality  people for me are not what most people consider high quality. 

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Now let me enjoy my unlimited powers in creating life I actually want to live without minimizing myself and falling for all this human/societal BS. 

Including falling for spiritual/emotional nonsense coming from women who seek way to use their minds to manipulate for their agenda since nothing else is left and their value is falling away. 

Edited by zeroISinfinity

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45 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:
3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Isn't it totally gross to only want a pair of nice tits? Doesn't it reduce a woman to pieces of meat? Which meat is better? 

 

honestly from a man's side, i could honestly say the same thing but with strength as a character trait. but i dont take it too seriously + i cant do anything about it so i dont blame anyone

Edited by Jacob Morres

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24 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Everyone loves a big pair of tits. Fun for the whole family :D

That's really surprising that women tipped even more. 

So, then women with nice big booties would also get more tips from both men and women?

Also, does this mean that all of those skinny runway model women who have flat chests and flat asses are actually not as physically attractive as female celebs and supermodels who are busty and have a sexy bubblebutts?

Edited by Hardkill

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@Emerald 

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

Women tend to be monogamously oriented and don't typically want to share a man with another woman.

And that's the female paradox. On the one hand, you want a fully integrated man who embodies his masculine side, which means polygamous. Yet, on the other hand, you want him all for yourself, which means monogamous. That's quite a bind you're putting us in. This paradox is because of self-bias/ego. Drop your ego, and there won't be a problem.

For a man to be attractive, he has to be desired by other women. Otherwise, he does not qualify as high quality. Right? However, you want him to be desired but not touched. Well, talk about unicorns. Trust me when I tell you that the only reason a man will not have a side relationship is lack of opportunity. There's no such a thing as a monoamorous man. He will either cheat, or become a lesser man. A man with options will never settle down for one woman, it's just male nature. That's just how mother nature designed us. I get the impression that you think we like being this way. The truth is not at all. Trust me, it's a curse, not a blessing. Think about it, why would a man go out of his ways to chase after various women if he can find satisfaction with only one? It doesn't make sense, right? But it happens. Why? Certainly not because men are evil. It's enough burden to spread our seeds everywhere possible that mother nature has put on us. A lot of males would choose to live without sexual desire if it's possible, that's why people seek transcending desire in the first place, because it's rather a shackle and a limitation. I personally prefer being free from all sexual desire and I know a lot of men and women are the same, because freedom is always better.

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

So if I, as a monogamously oriented woman, was given the choice between investing energy in a man who desires a monogamous relationship and investing energy in a man who desires a polygenist relationship, it becomes quite clear who the more compatible and higher quality partner is.

We are discussing the reality of general population, not you or me or any person in particular. Each one of us is a unique expression and has different nuanced wants and needs.

However, it seems like you're moving out of your feminine energy here, and instead tapping more into the masculine energy in order to preserve control/identity. And while I think that's absolutely your right, I also think it's the main factor that brought us here in the first place. This is feminism that you're doing here, and I'm not denying you your right to practice it. This is important for the next point that I will address below.

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

Also, most women who are oriented towards polyamory are a bit allergic to polygeny. So, it may be a little difficult to find such a unicorn even amongst polyamorous women, though I'm sure they exist. 

This has not been the case until recently. Human society has always been accepting of polygamy until recently. Everyone accepted reality as it is, including women, until feminism. Men have to be polyamorous in order to create variety and expand, and women have to be monoamorous in order to bare children and nurture them. The ability to create abundance is what's most attractive about men. When repressed/demonized, it will either diminish, or go malignant.

Do you not agree that ancient cultures were more intuitive and in touch with being than our modern culture? Does that not mean possibly higher wisdom? When you deny human's natural/authentic desires, you create a shadow. I really shouldn't be saying this because I originally learned it from you.

It's not like either of us has a choice in this game. However, the woman has the choice to accept mother nature and then meet the man halfway by accepting male nature/polyamory, like the man has the choice to accept mother nature and meet the women halfway by accepting female nature/by taking responsibility and providing for his family, regardless of the number of wives. This the closest thing to a win-win scenario, imo.

It's not like you can force a man to be monogamous with any kind of egoic manipulation. It doesn't work like that. Eventually, you will either have to accept male nature and flow with it, or you will have to settle down for a lower quality man, which still does not guarantee you loyalty from him if presented with opportunity. In fact, I can almost guarantee cheating every time a lower quality man gets the chance to, with less frequency with the abundant/high quality man.

Finally, I want to ask you this: Do you recognize that all mating/sexuality is selfish/survival? This is like the most fundamental truth here.

Edited by Gesundheit

If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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I will say next thing it's the women who pull my sleave not me chasing skirt. 

Yes and all those women know I am taken. 

About cheating thing. 

Edited by zeroISinfinity

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20 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Finally, I want to ask you this: Do you recognize that all mating/sexuality is selfish/survival? This is like the most fundamental truth here.

They'll respond with something like: "Yeah, but it doesn't have to be, this is all unconcious stuff, you should pursue higher things" lol like I said, infinite loop

Edited by Peter Miklis

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31 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Trust me when I tell you that the only reason a man will not have a side relationship is lack of opportunity. There's no such a thing as a monoamorous man.

Now it is you who's being biased.

That is not true at all. Plenty of men are monogomous.

The situtation is not as bad as you portray it be.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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20 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

They'll respond with something like: "Yeah, but it doesn't have to be, this is all unconcious stuff, you should pursue higher things" lol like I said, infinite loop

It is true that we can and should pursue higher stuff. Game B. But we also have to recognize that we are deeply stuck in Game A right now, and that is not easy to ignore. Most guys are barely able to survive playing Game A such that Game B is like talking calculus to a mule.

And here's the thing: most women are playing Game A too. Very few women are playing Game B. So few that it is not a viable dating strategy to tailor your game to Game B women.

The ladies on this forum are advocating for Game B dating and relationships. That's great. But that can only happen in rare cases. Most men here are concered with getting laid, and for that purpose Game A is most effective. So we have here not only a male vs female bias issue, we have a Game A vs Game B issue.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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Just now, Leo Gura said:

It is true that we can and should pursue higher stuff. Game B. But we also have to recognize that we are deeply stuck in Game A right now, and that is not easy to ignore. Most guys are barely able to survive playing Game A such that Game B is like talking calculus to a mule.

That's really surprising that women tipped even more for women with bigger tits. 

So, then women with nice big booties would also get more tips from both men and women?

Also, does this mean that all of those skinny runway model women who have flat chests and flat asses are actually not as physically attractive as female celebs and supermodels who are busty and have a sexy bubblebutts?

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1 hour ago, Peter Miklis said:

Your bias towards men is ridiculous. A man can value relationship and intimacy, but that can't happen if man can't get turned on by woman's exterior. What, are we going to deny that big boobs are attractive? Lol

You've taken me completely out of context. What I said was about attraction and how the other party perceives it.. 

If I said that I only want to date men of particular body features it's like objectification because I'm not talking about emotional aspects at all. 

Of course you are allowed to be attracted to what you are attracted to but then why not say it to women. Why say the opposite? 

The post was about being honest no matter what the other gender thinks. 

The thing that triggered me is the part where Leo said women misrepresent what they want and men don't. This is not true. It's the exact opposite. It's men who hide what they want and call me sexist if I point it out.. And women are totally honest about what they want. But men don't want to listen when she says it. Because it does not fit their Agenda. I'll glady take it if you like a big pair of tits but be vocal about it if you are going to be in a relationship. Don't practice fake pick up lines. 

The man should tell me that he likes me for my tits. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Plenty of men are monogomous.

Theoretically, that's true, until tested. 

Again, the only reason a man will be monogomous is lack of options. Give him an opportunity and see how quickly he will cheat. Any man will cheat in a blink of an eye when presented with opportunity. The less abundant, the more likely he will cheat. And vice-versa.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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23 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I'll glady take it if you like a big pair of tits but be vocal about it if you are going to be in a relationship. Don't practice fake pick up lines. 

The man should tell me that he likes me for my tits. 

He can't tell you that because you will get disguised and leave.

You can't handle hearing what a man is really attracted to, you want him to be attracted to what serves you. Hence men have to hide and play games. Because unless he plays games, you will reject him.

If a man walked up to a woman and honestly said, "Hey, I find you sexy. Let's fuck." He would never ever get laid. But that is honestly how most guys feel. But we also know you ladies would never accept it, hence we play games. You want the man to be attracted to your nonphysical attributes, but that is not what a man needs most from a woman and it is not what he is most attracted to. And no amount of logic will change that.

So again, the issue is one of self-bias. If you find men's sexual attraction gross, that's not the man's problem or fault. That's your self-bias and it is part of your game. It is like finding it gross that peacocks are attracted to big tails. That is not the peacock's problem. That is your problem. There is nothing inherently gross about it. The peacock likes what it likes and your desire for the peacock to like something else, something that you want him to like, is selfish and absurd.

Imagine if you scolded a peacock at the zoo and told it to stop liking big tails because it's too shallow and empty, and instead to like personality and deep intimacy. The peacock would look at you stupid, and carry on with chasing big tails, as it has for a million years.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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