Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationship

[soos_mite_ah]

I honestly feel like this thread needs to be locked up at this point. We strayed away from the main subject for a while now. I dont think it's going anywhere. 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Aquarius said:

Some women do make up to impress men. And that's not wrong. It's totally fine. And most of it is unconscious and subconscious, so sometimes we have to look inside ourselves. I actually do make up because I think men won't like my natural face.

I  never said that it's not fine. I've said many times it's completely fine for women who do it for men. But I don't do it for that reason. So generalization is a bad thing. I like my face better with makeup. 

I don't care if men look at me or not.. 

Every woman has her own preference.

If men like looks it's ok. But I don't care about it. I want a man who appreciates me for me, for my personality. That's why I don't focus on looks. 

Because I don't want my looks to attract him. It's my preference. 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, modmyth said:

No shit.

Methinks the men doth protest a bit too much. Just generally with people, watch what they say and how it lines up with what they do, and what they say they want vs. what they actually end up doing. Practically speaking, you can just disregard a lot of things men say if reality just does not line up (except in the ways that it relates directly to their subject experience/ framing). It's pretty effective. Don't take people too seriously otherwise you tend to always end up "losing"...

 

Great advice. 

[Aquarius]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Aquarius  I am being honest. I don't need a man to be a woman. I don't get it. 

I don't have anything against women who do things for men.. I'm not demonizing them. 

 I am simply saying that I do things for myself, for my own status as a woman. Don't see anything wrong with it 

I don't let society dictate how I want to be. Zero is making it sound like if i do makeup it meant for men, when it's not. 

Just telling my honest truth. 

 

Status is part of societal hierarchy. Zero just tries to awaken you to a wider perspective. He doesn't mean to hurt you or make you sound bad or needy.

And if you ask me, you sound like you want to be seen as an alpha woman. Or at least you really fight to be heard. That's great but... I say, just tell your truth how it is, and let it be. Leo would probably call what we do a mental-masturbation. Idk, I'm not him  

To be an alpha woman you just have to trust your instincts and walk away proudly and with dignity when it's time. Alpha women do not care to prove their truth. They lead by example. (for someone that questions me, I did read a book on alpha personality, so don't tell me I'm making this thing up)

I don't think I'm an alpha. Meh, couldn't care less, -- but that's probably a lie I tell myself. Honestly I just wanna be more independent. I'm already making the first steps in independent thinking. Very at the beginning though. 

 

It's also a question of wisdom, not just alpha-ness or independence and respect. A wise person will try to see the perspective of the other one, even if it's sometimes difficult to grasp. It's a gift to be able to see through other people's lens, but it can be also obtained by training it.

 

My mind is very scattered. I do try to focus on this now though. Preety, I do hope I said something helpful, I'm just trying to help really. Maybe you don't need my help, but then again I'm just expressing my own vision on the situation. Sorry if I ever sound harsh or rude, I'm just very raw and brutal when I speak. Head in the clouds probably too (maybe on another planet actually woosh....)

[zeroISinfinity]

Just having fun. Don't mind me. 

Can be harsh and my english is not so great. 

Just wake up realize people are selfish understand them. 

Understand positions and agendas of oposite gender and master dang thing. 

Don't fall preys, get abused, be naive etc. 

Take full responsability for your life and create it. 

 

Edited March 8, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[Aquarius]

13 minutes ago, integral said:

Ya know the other day, while repairing a computer for a 72 year old grandma, she starting flirting with me (Im 32, young). My thought process was, well i dont want to deny her what she wants, seems unfair, everyone needs sex... 

She could of been a 11 foot, 6 testicals, slime dripping alien and it would of made no difference. Its going to get the job done.

If she wanted a strange alien long term relationship of what ever sort, no problem, makes no difference, just go with the flow. 

Yes I agree, you're young. Just be careful, ok? 

Not sure who you talking to, but I'm digging the vibe. You're a good person.

 

I've gone through so much bad stuff, all because going with the flow and not taming my animalistic brutality. Sometimes you can hurt other people's feelings while not being frank with yourself, you know what I'm trying to say? It's very valuable that you opened up like this, at least to me, idk why, probably because I'm meditating for 10 hours minimum every day and I don't even know how globe the earth is (???), but yeah...

Timing is key, either way, I'll add that to that. Also what you do with your time. And I also don't think you desired that relationship with her, you just didn't wanna hurt her feelings. You can be easy-going without giving in to feeling sorry for someone.

Maybe I misinterpreted everything. Just putting my thoughts out there.

[zeroISinfinity]

@Preety_IndiaIf guy got you just with sweet talk and didn't had anything else (which I doubt so). Ask yourself some serious questions.

Time to grow up. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[Aquarius]

16 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I  never said that it's not fine. I've said many times it's completely fine for women who do it for men. But I don't do it for that reason. So generalization is a bad thing. I like my face better with makeup. 

I don't care if men look at me or not.. 

Every woman has her own preference.

If men like looks it's ok. But I don't care about it. I want a man who appreciates me for me, for my personality. That's why I don't focus on looks. 

Because I don't want my looks to attract him. It's my preference. 

 

I understand now, thanks for clarifying. I wasn't generalizing, I was talking about myself. 

[Aquarius]

20 minutes ago, modmyth said:

This thread is such a hot mess, haha.

Totally, haha. 

I think releasing wounds and shadows is a messy process. I do cry a lot, often. 

^^^ Only saying this because this thread made my cry at some point. Not because of sadness though.

Edited March 8, 2021 by Aquarius

[Aquarius]

11 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

Loooool dude this post is something else?

Are you trolling or nah?

Probably a bait. Why do I even have empathy at this point. ?

[Aquarius]

7 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

@Aquarius

I especially don't understand this? 

Don't ask me, I didn't say it. Ask the person who said it. 

Probably they be just trolling our naivity or testing our receptiveness or whatever. 

Maybe that person is a different kind of alien. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by Aquarius

[TheAlchemist]

I get the sense that these discussions are not progressing anywhere. The same people are making the same points as for the past months in these threads. Not a lot of embracing of opposing perspectives is happening. 

How can we have conversations where each one of us honestly aims to see the truth in the other persons perspective, instead of trying to see the faults? 

 

[integral]

47 minutes ago, Aquarius said:

Yes I agree, you're young. Just be careful, ok? 

hahaha i know, its dangerous, she might just nit me a sweater.

Interesting interpretation, there is the aspect of wanting her to be happy, but to do this it involved molding myself into desiring her, takes a few seconds to do it. Now im permanently attracted to her and fantasizing about it. If i choose i could reverse this molding anytime. The only condition is that its morally correct with me or else i cant mold. Like consent. 

47 minutes ago, Aquarius said:

And I also don't think you desired that relationship with her

Well i dont desire relationships, they just happen automatically. Again it really could of been an alien creature, with alien cultural relationship rituals, i would just mold and be fully content with all of it. 

Sort of the lesson here is, we are a blank slate that got stuck on a specif way of doing attraction/relationships by culture. All emotions, desires,attachment,expectations are fully moldable to any configuration. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by integral

[RendHeaven]

2 minutes ago, TheAlchemist said:

I get the sense that these discussions are not progressing anywhere. The same people are making the same points as for the past months in these threads. Not a lot of embracing of opposing perspectives is happening. 

How can we have conversations where each one of us honestly aims to see the truth in the other persons perspective, instead of trying to see the faults? 

 

we won't. watch leo's most recent blogpost

[intotheblack]

37 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I honestly feel like this thread needs to be locked up at this point. We strayed away from the main subject for a while now. I dont think it's going anywhere

Lol.  I started this thread then I logged off for the weekend. signed in today and it had gone crazy... but yeah it totally derailed and went off track.  I think it’s a lost cause now! 

[TheAlchemist]

@integral I'm torn between strongly wanting and strongly not wanting to have your superpower ?

Edited March 8, 2021 by TheAlchemist

[Preety_India]

54 minutes ago, Aquarius said:

And if you ask me, you sound like you want to be seen as an alpha woman.

This is all creating unnecessary assumptions out of whatever I say. I never said I want to be an alpha woman. I don't even know what that means.. 

I'm just me, purely me. I believe in being authentic. I do things for myself. I don't care about social judgement. 

I try my best to live by my own code.. 

[Preety_India]

47 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

@Preety_IndiaIf guy got you just with sweet talk and didn't had anything else (which I doubt so). Ask yourself some serious questions.

Time to grow up. 

Yea I've learned to not trust men the way I used to. 

That's how I grew up. 

Will I date a homeless man again with nothing to offer? 

Yes I will. Why not. I don't like social rules about money or anything else. 

I make my own rules. If a guy loves me, that's all I need. 

But the difficulty lies in knowing whether he is faking it or really being sincere in his love. This part is the harder part.

I do believe a man can love a woman forever and there are men like that and they are few but they are there.

Most men however go for shallow relationships where they manipulate cheat and lie. 

 

[Emerald]

I'm reading through the comments since yesterday, and it's not looking good.

Lots of guys on here with really apparent chips on their shoulders in relation to women. And lots of willful ignorance around the female perspective on sexuality and relationships. And a lot more of just doubting women's sincerity and/or ability to communicate what they want.

So many of the guys on here have such a skewed view of female emotions and sexuality that they are basically lining themselves up to attract very harsh and insecure women to themselves that mirror their own insecurities. And it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy that will seem to confirm their suspicions over and over again, the more unconscious/traumatized women they attract... further entrenching them in the cycle of distortion and unconscious dating behavior. 

And then, the women who actually are relatively conscious, compassionate, and who have done a lot of work on themselves will automatically sort them out because their instincts will lead them to a man who matches them with regard to their mental/emotional state. And they won't even realize that they're being unconsciously filtered out as unhealthy men by healthy women. 

And much of this is based in fear of femininity and the fear of being deemed lesser, so there is a desire to construct a narrative where they feel more in control of how women feel.

And this comes from their own low self-esteem and fear of their own feminine side, so they prefer to stay in a narrative that is deeply distorted but feels empowering to them where they can remain armored and in control as opposed to recognizing other perspectives and really allowing themselves to be fully human and have the intimacy that all people need. 

And it's especially a shame that Leo (as an influential person) has a lot of these same chips on his shoulder relative to emotions, intimacy, and femininity because he just green-lights all the unconsciousness relative to his understanding the female perspective and frames it as conscious and parades a distorted perspective as truth. And you can see all these guys feel emboldened in their distortions once he validates them. 

Ultimately guys, this is mostly your problem to sort out as you will be the ones reaping the consequences of this problem. 

And I can tell you all about the female perspective until I'm blue in the face. But understand, I'm not doing this for my own health. I'm mostly sharing this perspective to help the men on here understand so they can at least have some chance of experiencing a fulfilling relationship and satisfying their woman. It doesn't do any good to be so myopic towards your own survival agenda if you're looking for a real relationship.

So, for those that are working on themselves, if you want a fulfilling relationship to a relatively conscious woman, then you're going to have to be conscious relative to how you approach relationships. And you'll need to be multi-perspectival in how you approach relationships without getting stuck in the reductive perspective of seeing man/woman relationships as purely a cruel survival game.

And all this farcical alpha nonsense may get you laid here and there by women who line up with that... but it isn't going to cut it if you're looking to satisfy a woman and have a good relationship with her.

Women who are relatively attuned to their intuition will recognize your willful ignorance and defensive behavior for what it is... weakness and fragility and fear of the feminine. 

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, integral said:

Ya know the other day, while repairing a computer for a 72 year old grandma, she started flirting with me (Im 32, young). My thought process was, well i dont want to deny her what she wants, seems unfair, everyone needs sex... 

She could of been a 11 foot, 6 testicals, slime dripping alien and it would of made no difference. Its going to get the job done.

If she wanted a strange alien long term relationship of what ever sort, no problem, makes no difference, just go with the flow. 

so you had sex with a granny?