Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationship

[StarStruck]

2 hours ago, modmyth said:

Instinctively I've gone out of my way to date people who are nothing like my dad (and they did not turn out to be like my dad either with time). My dad had his good qualities, but he was very cold emotionally (among other traits), and I have never been one to go angling for the attention of those who just aren't interested in me. I seriously can't be the only one?

How many guys end up picking women a lot like their mothers in some way or another?

People can pick partners that are different than their opposite sex parent. It happens a lot but they will screw the relationship up by - unconscious(!!1) - self destruction of the relationship. 

Edited March 7, 2021 by StarStruck

[integral]

Ya know, its ok not to desire a relationship. 

[Farnaby]

3 hours ago, Hulia said:

There is no guarantee that a secure confident man will be a better father than insecure and unconfident one. None. 

Besides confidence is a soft skill which can be learned and developed. Much more important is the hardware. 

I cannot grasp, that Leo is teaching you such a superficial stuff here. 

Maybe that's true, but on an instinctive level I think women are generally more attracted to confident men who lead and aren't too passive. 

I think it's an unconscious biological thing and it makes sense because the stronger and healthier male will generally be more able to protect her and the kid(s) if needed.

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura Scary how women punish this stuff more than abuse and being treated like complete shit.

Human nature is really scary and disgusting sometimes.

Personally i have no more empathy for people that get hurt by the other gender (guys and girls alike) considering how fucked up, unhealthy and backwards the things they are attracted to are for today 's world. Everyone creating their own problems. Girls complaining they cannot get x guy when they have 10 nice kind guys at their fingertips but choose to ignore them because they are soft. Guys who can easily be with kind caring but average looking girls but instead focus on getting hot girls even though those specific girls might have bitchy spoiled attitudes.

I personally think sweet kindness and being caring in a girl is VERY attractive and also healthy for you but most guys do not think like this, they mostly want looks, kindness comes second.

Same with girls, what they are attracted to is the opposite of what is healthy and ends up destroying them in the end, just like junk food or heroin does.

I think it would be nice if people tried to focus more on the healthy side of attraction rather than just going for pure emotions and pleasure. Yes those people may be less appealing but you can have a healthy good relationship with them. People that eat salads instead of burgers do not get the same taste hedonistic satisfaction but in the long run they are much better off and happier. Same logic here.

Am i asking for too much here?

 

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

than just going for pure emotions and pleasure. Yes those people may be less appealing but you can have a healthy good relationship with them. People that eat salads instead of burgers do not get the same taste hedonistic satisfaction but in the long run they are much better off and happier. Same logic here.

There is a slight problem.. 

I can eat salad even if it tastes boring. Because I will think it's good for my health. I can just swallow it. 

But how do you have sex with someone that doesn't feel attractive to you? 

Sex is not like eating directly. It will only happen when there is sufficient stimulation otherwise it just won't happen.. 

A simple thought about sex does not lead to sex. Eating just happens. 

How do you fix the sexual part? 

 

[zeroISinfinity]

@Hulia He has to teach them. Because who ask for relationship and dating advices or pays pua stuff other then guys who can't get laid. 

Why is that?

Precislly for lacking "superficial" stuff. 

Of course things are far more complex and involve far more stuff then this simplistic views. 

I can’t talk for example about older women because I have no experience with them. Only had sex with few but that doesn't mean anything. Actually I was used. Never complained. 

 

 

[zeroISinfinity]

Also everyone wants magic pill some recipe and to void all emotional labour that comes with this. 

Without failing 7 million times you want learn have experience develop intuition etc and you will still fail. Less but still fail. You have to be ok with it. 

Nobody wants to take responsability and grab some balls. Later they cry or hate blame and complain. 

Edited March 7, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[Hulia]

26 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

Maybe that's true, but on an instinctive level I think women are generally more attracted to confident men who lead and aren't too passive. 

I think it's an unconscious biological thing and it makes sense because the stronger and healthier male will generally be more able to protect her and the kid(s) if needed.

If we speak in materialistic terms, and so we do, because that is what "protect her and kids" means, than a woman should be attached to a shy and unconfident IT guy or a scientist, because in our epoch and in our society they have more chances to earn good money to protect her and kids. 

Stronger and healthier men might have been good in protection 100 years ago, not today.

And when we think further a modern woman in a western world doesn´t need a protector any more. She is free to fall in love with any kind of a man!

The world is changing! Don´t you see it? A "healthier and stronger man" is a snow from yeasterday. 

[Hulia]

11 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

He has to teach them. Because who ask for relationship and dating advices or pays pua stuff other then guys who can't get laid. 

Why is that?

Precislly for lacking "superficial" stuff. 

You still need some basics, which you can polish with a superficial stuff. It can be really delightful. But a supeficial stuff without basics is disgusting.

[zeroISinfinity]

2 minutes ago, Hulia said:

You still need some basics, which you can polish with a superficial stuff. It can be really delightful. But a supeficial stuff without basics is disgusting.

Of course it is and they will still not get laid with it. 

Women want best guy so be best guy and that's it. Simple af. 

[Gesundheit]

All humans are attracted to abundance/perfection/completeness, that's all. No secrets here.

Human beings are selfish, and value-driven creatures. Show them value, and they will respect you and be attracted to you if they see potential for them to leech from your value. If they find your value threatening to them, they will hate and fight you. It's a very simple equation.

And since this is true, many people who don't possess actual value fake it through abundance mindset. And at the same time, people who have value but lack abundance mindset fail to attract others into their lives, be it platonic friends, gold diggers, or romantic lovers.

The trick is to actually see through the BS of humans and know their actual value before being fooled by the appearances and allowing yourself to be attracted to them.

Everything is not what it seems. Maybe the shyest guy in the room is the baddest guy in bed 

Edited March 7, 2021 by Gesundheit

[zeroISinfinity]

@Gesundheit I do agree with you. 

So either way as man you can't avoid working on yourself. 

Pick up line will get you women, yeah sure. 

[Farnaby]

41 minutes ago, Hulia said:

If we speak in materialistic terms, and so we do, because that is what "protect her and kids" means, than a woman should be attached to a shy and unconfident IT guy or a scientist, because in our epoch and in our society they have more chances to earn good money to protect her and kids. 

Stronger and healthier men might have been good in protection 100 years ago, not today.

And when we think further a modern woman in a western world doesn´t need a protector any more. She is free to fall in love with any kind of a man!

The world is changing! Don´t you see it? A "healthier and stronger man" is a snow from yeasterday. 

I guess our biological instincts haven't catched up with how modern society works. 

Attraction still works like a thousand years ago. Just watch how men and women interact with each other, especially heterosexual people. 

Of course there are exceptions, but a more feminine woman will generally be more attracted to a guy who leads, is confident and with whom she feels contained than to a passive guy who lacks confidence. It actually has nothing to do with being a scientist or a truck driver, but with the vibe/energy/attitude towards life that we express as men.

[zeroISinfinity]

@Farnaby ?

Feminine women. Exactly, but for it you beed exactly "superficial" stuff too. 

If I like masculine women I would be gay. 

Abs and money and that's it. 

But I don't have to bother with this since..... I am.... 

Guy with hazel eyes and abs. Lel

Edited March 7, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[integral]

@zeroISinfinity idk, athletic muscular women are sex machines. Think vaginal muscle flexing. 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India I am not saying to have sex with someone that you have 0 connection with. Just find a good balance. No need for a guy to go for a 9/10 in looks when a 6/10 is more than enough for him look wise, then focus on personality. A 6/10 looks in a healthy relationship is better for you than a 9/10 with meh personality. Same logic for girls choosing guys guys but you replace pure looks with those stuff like charisma, charm, confidence etc.

It is all about balance. So in your case date an introvert that makes a good boyfriend instead of dating the asshole extrovert, as long as you enjoy the introvert company and you are attracted to him. Of course the feeling will be less strong but the price you pay for that temporary emotional high is not worth it. Same logic for guys.

I hope i am making myself clear

Edited March 7, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Keyhole]

I'm out of the game because I just don't have the energy to put into a relationship and to have it be a fair energy exchange, also I agree with what is said about women who were mistreated later finding other people to reenact abuse in their adult years to be pretty common and I tend to lean that way.  I just don't find kindness towards me attractive, or even meanness if it has a goal of attracting me.  I like people who are unavailable altogether, and then once I have them I'm stuck with severe buyer's remorse.  I have a long history of just leaving relationships on a dime because I can sense that it isn't going to go anywhere, unless I'm strung along, but at this point I can't even fall for that with the decision to remain single.  I would hate to lose all the work that I have done on myself by finding the wrong person, or have them mess with my psychology or anything weird like that, and then leave the relationship feeling like there were more things wrong with me than I initially thought.

I like men as friends, though, and once the idea of a relationship is out of the equation I can just act normally and I relish that.  I think maybe the desire for God should come first (haha ) and that human relationships are an impediment on finding your true self.  I don't think humans are supposed to be in long term partnerships, either. 1-4 years max and then move on asap unless you're interested in contributing to the overpopulation problem.

I think what most people want is just to be seen without expectations from either party.  Just to go with the flow and call it a day.  Just my 2cents.  I'm not interested in performing or being anyone other than I am for another person, generally that seems to be what people require and it's not my cup of tea.  I'd rather grow spiritually, and find someone in the next life in a more unified space than the garbage we have here on Earth that we mistake for genuine connection, which ultimately usually ends up just being two people leeching off of one another in different ways.

I think that is what people want.  
I want to wait until survival and ego are out of the game.

Edited March 7, 2021 by Keyhole

[zeroISinfinity]

1 hour ago, integral said:

@zeroISinfinity idk, athletic muscular women are sex machines. Think vaginal muscle flexing. 

1 hour ago, integral said:

@zeroISinfinity

There is a reason why I am member of rat gym. 

There was one such lady that broke my heart not being interested in me. ?

Oh A-ha moment. Now I get that gay gym guy. 

Smart move man, smart move but risky. Still has more balls then pua seminar attendants. 

Edited March 7, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[StarStruck]

If you are in pickup try to find out how her dad was and model her dad. 

The tricky part is that she will be unconscious and in denial about her dad if her dad wasn't perfect, which is rare. 

You have to fish for clues without being to obvious. At the same time connect the dots. 

[Karmadhi]

@Peter Miklis I was saying that most dating issues are self created and people tend to complain about them instead of understanding they are somewhat choosing to be in pain indirectly via improper dating choices. 

I think people should be very selective on who they choose to emotionally invest into and things like kindness, honesty, good communication and maturity should be very very important, just as important as looks (for girls) , charisma, confidence (for guys). If you ignore the quality aspects and pick people based purely on the more "sexy" aspects that are not correlated with healthy relationships then you have problems.

Basically what i am saying is this: I will not date a person that is not mature, kind, honest and good communicator regardless of his other attributes. This mindset would do wonders.

Personally i am not affected by this, i have never been hurt by a "hot but shitty personality" girl. I was just talking about the phenomena in general