Trauma

[Wakuwaki]

I really have a goal in mind, I really want to pursue a life of meaning and purpose no if ands buts about it. What have you guys done that has helped you get through trauma in your life? I’ve noticed bringing it up gets me seriously depressed and brings out a lot of self doubt. I have been practicing a lot of meditation and and learning more and more about myself especially through the help of Leo’s videos. I noticed I have lied to myself and others and am actively trying to commit to being the most genuine loving human I can be. When I was growing up my father died at a young age, my family told me it was from a car accident. I learned about how he actually died by googling his name and found it by myself that he was a bank robber and died by crashing into another car not to get caught. That devastated me to find out about that at such a young and never told anyone, it really gave me  depression throughout middle school and high school. It also didn’t help that I realized my mother is very narcissistic and controlling and really made things worse. I am just trying hard to move on from that I feel stuck. 

Edited March 6, 2021 by Wakuwaki

[Matt23]

Sounds tough and like you're feeling kinda trapped in depression and negative feelings.  I can relate, at least to dealing with strong negative feelings.  

One thing recently that I have found invaluable, and I think will be a practice and framework I'll use throughout my life, is IFS (Internal Family Systems therapy).  I highly recommend it.  I also highly recommend doing it with an IFS trained therapist.  I've found that, though I can do it alone, there's something about having another person be with you, even via zoom or something, that makes the process easier.  Like they hold space for you so you can more easily access the inner parts of yourself.  The basic IFS framework is all about how each person has many subpersonalities within themselves, and that some are harmed and hurt and have different needs.  So you learn to work with and communicate with each part via your mind, imagination, and emotions.  

I got trained in a level 1 reiki course and honestly, I think it's saved me from sooo much pain upon immediately doing it.  Like, if i'm in a crunch and there was massive amounts of emotional suffering, I just "turned on the reiki" and felt immediately better.  

Moving the body and spine also.  Spinal rotations = lifesaver, trigger parasympathetic nervous system.  Very relaxing for me.  Head rotations.  And just keeping the body fit and loose has made a big difference.  Though, I'm aware that it's not always easy to keep the body decently healthy, so I do a minmum of 10 pushups a day so that I'll still get the psychological satisfaction of feeling like I'm accomplishing something and I can do it even on my worst days. 

Hope this helps.  Don't hesitate to reach out if you want.  

www.thestoa.ca  = a place with many free zooms, and many to do with interactive psycho-technology type stuff and shadow, even breathwork. 

Enjoy.

[Enchantment]

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