Why Do You Search For Enlightenment? What Did You Sacrificed?

[Andrea Marchetti]

Why do you search for enlightenment? Please be honest. Question what is driving you in this search. Tell also how much you think you are sure of it, imagine that if you lie you are gonna die. Be fucking honest with yourself. Do you do it for power? For personal complacency? For truth? For different reasons? For suffering? For vanity?

What did you sacrifice for this search? Did you sacrifice anything for this search? Girlfriend, friends, job, video games, sex, whatever.

PS: I am not suggesting anything in particular, not the search nor the sacrifice. I am just asking, nothing important; so don't preach whether the search is important or absurd or sacrifice is something to do or not to do. I am looking for personal experiences, thoughts and feelings about the search and how much of it has possessed you. I would like to receive answers that come from a pure emotive source, not philosophies. And I would like, for you and for me, these answers to be genuine and not lies.

[Emerald]

I search because my "enlightenment experiences" were the only time I ever truly loved myself or anything else. It was a complete release of all suffering and I was whole again. It was like I went sane for a short time. So, I seek enlightenment primarily as an escape from the dull suffering and insanity of life under the ego-consciousness paradigm. But this mindset is probably one of the reasons that I'm not "there" yet.

[WelcometoReality]

@Andrea Marchetti  There always have been a deepseeded curiosity for truth here.

There's also been a drive to be listened to, to be someone (lol), all ego of course.

The sacrifice? Friends, hobbies and me.

[Frogfucius]

It was a survival mechanism. Without it, my ego would probably would have had me commit suicide by now. It’s yet to be determined how things are going to pan out, but at least I can be more comfortable when I die, knowing I did the best I could with no regrets. That’s the main thing.

[RossE]

I've suffered depression in various spells throughout my life. Now I realise that it was really all my thoughts that were causing it - negative thought patterns, buying into all the crap, living inside my mind and it running me. It seems a bit silly now and I want rid of my identification with thoughts for good. It's quite staggering to realise the negative things that are created in your head.

I realise that while there's still the ego that views reality as it does, I will be going about life all wrong, and I may be denying myself happiness the whole time. 

I don't want to go claiming there's a drive for truth here, but as soon as I heard about enlightenment I was fascinated and hooked. Maybe that's an ego thing, I'm not sure. Whether it is or not hopefully when the ego does really start to resist it will be too late to go back!

[Prabhaker]

4 hours ago, Andrea Marchetti said:

What did you sacrifice for this search? Did you sacrifice anything for this search? Girlfriend, friends, job, video games, sex, whatever.

All of the above ! I was wrong.

Renouncing the world, escaping to the forest and the mountains, you are simply escaping from a learning situation. In a cave in the Himalayas you won't have any responsibility, but remember, without responsibility you cannot grow; your consciousness will remain stuck. For growth it needs to face, to encounter, to accept the challenges of responsibilities.

The true seeker cannot renounce the world and the society, but he certainly renounces many other things. He renounces the so-called morality imposed upon him by the society; he renounces the so-called values imposed by the society; he renounces the knowledge given by the society. He does not renounce the society as such.

The true seeker is renouncing the past. He is not going to repeat the past; he is bringing something new into the world. Those who have escaped from the world and society are escapists. Renounce the past, not the world.

 

[key]

Honestly? 

Got into personal development & once I found out about enlightenment it practically shone with the light of a golden egg , waiting for me to claim it and become the perfect apex version of myself.

 Boy was I in for surprise after surprise.  

[Capethaz]

@Andrea Marchetti Because I know that with time my suffering will diminish until there's no more suffering in my life.