I can't escape life

[Javfly33]

If I'm free how is it so that I can't escape life?

I changed my job to a one which it kills me. I can't sleep well and it hurts my back. The work is mindless too. I'm slowly losing my mind.

So I thought in quitting everything, to avoid the suffering that this situation is producing.

But then when I thought about quitting, i doubt I can't because I can't surrender the attachment to material goals I want to achieve, and attachment to my family not suffering my loss ( I wasnt planning to suicide, but just let go of everything. For once be free...)

So I'm damn if I do and I'm damn if I don't .

What do you think about my situation?

 

[allislove]

You are free life. Life can't escape itself. Suffering is produced not by situation, but due to involvement in thinking that doesn't feel good.

Look on positive side of things, you can breath, you can enjoy sunny days, you can enjoy nature for example.  

Make a small step by a small step in improving how you feel. I dunno, start a routine in the morning to cook&drink cappuccino for example. Anything you want, anything that feels good to you.

[Javfly33]

1 hour ago, allislove said:

You are free life. Life can't escape itself. Suffering is produced not by situation, but due to involvement in thinking that doesn't feel good.

Look on positive side of things, you can breath, you can enjoy sunny days, you can enjoy nature for example.  

Make a small step by a small step in improving how you feel. I dunno, start a routine in the morning to cook&drink cappuccino for example. Anything you want, anything that feels good to you.

Yeah I am beggining to appreciate the little things of life .

The main problem is I don't think I'm mentally strong enough to handle the job.

And if I quit I will be scared to go homeless because I won't back to my parents

So idk. There has to be away 

[Thought Art]

Don't need to quit.

Your free time can be spend improving your well being (Stretching, breathing, eating well)

And looking for a better job. 

[snowyowl]

Sorry to hear you're going through this. Maybe I'm reading between the lines, but it sounds like there's more to your suffering than just the new job, otherwise can't you look for a better job and gradually build a more meaningful life rather than quitting everything? Something seems to be suppressing your confidence and ambition. 

I remember your last thread from Saturday "Let's see if there is a possibility of actually healing myself completely." and you said

"I live life avoiding much of the times what I want to do, or say, completely, because I have some sort of belief that what I do or say might not be enough or good or appropriate.

I have also this tendency to think that everything I do or say might be judged harshly by the other person."

I've recently learned about something called Impostor Syndrome, could be a helpful way to frame it, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome  

The article suggests therapy, I dunno if you've tried anything like that, or perhaps life coaching? 

 

Edited March 4, 2021 by snowyowl

[allislove]

@Javfly33

To see the way there should be clarity first. Clarity is always now, when you're relaxed and enjoying the present moment. 

[Javfly33]

3 hours ago, snowyowl said:

Sorry to hear you're going through this. Maybe I'm reading between the lines, but it sounds like there's more to your suffering than just the new job, otherwise can't you look for a better job and gradually build a more meaningful life rather than quitting everything? Something seems to be suppressing your confidence and ambition. 

I remember your last thread from Saturday "Let's see if there is a possibility of actually healing myself completely." and you said

"I live life avoiding much of the times what I want to do, or say, completely, because I have some sort of belief that what I do or say might not be enough or good or appropriate.

I have also this tendency to think that everything I do or say might be judged harshly by the other person."

I've recently learned about something called Impostor Syndrome, could be a helpful way to frame it, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome  

The article suggests therapy, I dunno if you've tried anything like that, or perhaps life coaching? 

 

Yeah I tried many things. At this point I'm kind of tired of external solutions . I can only be the solution

3 hours ago, allislove said:

@Javfly33

To see the way there should be clarity first. Clarity is always now, when you're relaxed and enjoying the present moment. 

Thanks ??

[Sempiternity]

Maybe try van living? It's not always easy, but it is free living. 

[allislove]

@Javfly33 ?

[Someone here]

Try SSRI and visiting a therapist. 

Journal about how you feel. Let it all out. 

Allow yourself to feel bad. Surrender instead of fighting. That seems to counter-intuitively work. Give yourself a permission to feel like shit. Just feel it. And soon it might neutralize all these emotions. 

@snowyowl

Shared intersting perspectives also. Maybe try to search for a deeper reason.