Are You In Control Of Your Life?

[YoungSeeker]

I have some strange feeling that we can take control over our lives. That we can be in control. Not the mind, not the ego controlling everything but "real me". Is that my ego fooling me or it can be the case? In enlightenment circles they teach us that you control nothing. Not even a single thing in your life. I "believed" that for a long time but now this strange thought crossed my mind. What if we can be in control? What if? We always put responsibility for our mistakes on someone or something else but what if we're the ones to blame? What if all suffering we have in life was created by us? What if we have the power to change things? I think that you can't control your life but you can be in control. It's paradoxical and sounds stupid but that's what I think.

Edited October 13, 2016 by YoungSeeker

[YoungSeeker]

Usually we think that we can control our life but we are controlled by the mind or the ego. What if the "real me" can take control over things?

[123456789]

From what I know there's no one in control, there's no "you" to be in control. There's only pure awareness observing what is.

[Key Elements]

Good question...

When you're talking about "there is no you," there are no paradoxes. It's just like saying there's no up or down in space.

When you're talking about regular, everyday life, there are still no paradoxes. You could say, "Yes, I am in control because I'm following the the correct thoughts in my mind, so I could be efficient and productive throughout my day." Or, you could say, "No, I'm not in control because the thoughts in my mind are coming from nothingness. The nothingness is the one commanding me and I "choose" to follow the correct thoughts." Both answers are correct.

To add to the first answer of yes I am in control: the nothingness & you are one.

However, I think the real question is, how do we know we are one and the infinity is for real? We say to have a "direct experience" of it. Well, how do we know our direct experience of it is for real? Those with direct experiences of it has some explaining to do. We just can't have a little short passage about it. 

Practical life is what most of us could relate to. Just walk by a homeless person on the street. How do you feel? Most people would not want the person to be homeless. So, of course, as a result, you see programs to help people get out of it. That's one little hint of the infinity - that we are one - we want peace. We don't want suffering. 

Edited October 14, 2016 by Key Elements

[Frogfucius]

Are you in control of your heart beat? Your mind? The air you breathe?

Let’s say you have limited control. What gives you that limited control? Consciousness? But then, animals have consciousness too. Are they in control? If not, why? Because they’re a lower order of consciousness? Well, what’s there to determine that our relatively high level of consciousness gives us control? Is that to imply that animals with greater consciousness are in more control than animals with more limited consciousness? What if there’s an alien species out there that dwarfs our level of consciousness? To them, wouldn’t we be seen as low-conscious and not in control of any of our actions? Would we be seen to them as merely ants in an ant farm?

[YoungSeeker]

I started thinking about it so much because 2 days ago I was so tired after work that my mind turned off. It was strange. I just realized how the mind was lying to me my whole life. I thought about my past and my past felt like just an illusion. like another thought in my mind. my identity felt like an illusion. it all felt unreal. I realized that the mind controlled my whole life and I didn't do a shit about it. I just believed everything mind told me. I still do. this feeling passed but I think about it a lot now. just got me thinking that there is "real me" and this "real me" is controlled by the mind but it all can be changed.

Edited October 13, 2016 by YoungSeeker

[YoungSeeker]

Also we (people pursuing enlightenment) just believe that we aren't in control. I don't know about you but a lot of times I turned it into belief. just believed that I don't exist or I'm not in control. but that's what we shouldn't do on this path. if we just believe it how are we different from religious people then?

[YoungSeeker]

1 hour ago, Frogfucius said:

But then, animals have consciousness too. Are they in control? If not, why?

@Frogfucius animals are in control as I see it. they aren't being controlled by their identity because they don't have an identity and therefore they are free. so they are in control.

[YoungSeeker]

@Frogfucius thanks for replying all my posts. I appreciate it

Edited October 13, 2016 by YoungSeeker

[Sharpadox]

2 minutes ago, YoungSeeker said:

@Frogfucius animals are in control as I see it. they aren't being controlled by their identity because they don't have an identity and therefore they are free. so they are in control.

I don't know, in actuality I've always seen animals as not having any control and basically being controlled by their instincts.

[YoungSeeker]

8 minutes ago, Sharpadox said:

I don't know, in actuality I've always seen animals as not having any control and basically being controlled by their instincts.

You actually right. All animals have are instincts. But also

11 minutes ago, YoungSeeker said:

animals are in control as I see it. they aren't being controlled by their identity because they don't have an identity and therefore they are free. so they are in control.

I think that this is true. I just have some feeling about it but I can't really put it in words. It all very confusing.

Edited October 13, 2016 by YoungSeeker

[Sharpadox]

1 minute ago, YoungSeeker said:

You actually right. All animals have are instincts. But also

I think that this is true. I just have some feeling about it but I can't really put it in words.

Have you ever thought that... every single part of you, your identity... your habits, your mind, is created by the external event of your past, your parents raising you and how you reacted, where you were born and how you reacted, how others treated you and how you reacted. If... this is true... then... is every single though that you are now having also beyond your control, and... does that mean that TRUE control is an illusion of the mind and that the universe is basically a simulation mostly running itself...  . I often times remind myself that I had no full control over myself and how I reacted to life... therefore feeling at ease and removing all regrets !

[YoungSeeker]

9 minutes ago, Sharpadox said:

every single part of you, your identity... your habits, your mind, is created by the external event of your past, your parents raising you and how you reacted, where you were born and how you reacted, how others treated you and how you reacted.

@Sharpadox then if you could remove your identity, just killed the ego one day all you'll have left are biological drives. it doesn't sound that romantic. then we aren't that different from chimps. we humans aren't that noble species after all. that's a bitter pill to swallow.

Edited October 13, 2016 by YoungSeeker

[Sharpadox]

6 minutes ago, YoungSeeker said:

then if you could remove your identity, just killed the ego one day all you'll have left are biological drives. it doesn't sound that romantic. then we aren't that different from chimps. we humans aren't that noble species after all.

It might seem like our brain and our ability to process thought and logic is what really makes us different from animals, maybe our brains are a result of evolution and the universe growing itself, what do you think ?

Edited October 13, 2016 by Sharpadox

[YoungSeeker]

50 minutes ago, Sharpadox said:

It might seem like our brain and our ability to process thought and logic is what really makes us different from animals, maybe our brains are a result of evolution and the universe growing itself

Logically I would agree with that. But then I have this feeling deep inside that tells me it all bullshit. When I start thinking about all that too much I feel like I'm crazy. When I think about all that I can start laughing without any reason or almost start crying. I just laugh how stupid I am to believe my mind's talk. I know that I can't explain reality. But still I'm desperately seeking for the answer. Seems like I won't ever find the answer and still I'm looking and it drives me crazy. My mind wants to be certain, it doesn't like to have any doubts. It can't handle paradoxes. The mind is so dumb, I hate it. I really feel now like the mind is my enemy.

[Sharpadox]

12 minutes ago, YoungSeeker said:

Logically I would agree with that. But then I have this feeling deep inside that tells me it all bullshit. When I start thinking about all that too much I feel like I'm crazy. When I think about all that I can start laughing without any reason or almost start crying. I just laugh how stupid I am to believe my mind's talk. I know that I can't explain reality. But still I'm desperately seeking for the answer. Seems like I won't ever find the answer and still I'm looking and it drives me crazy. My mind wants to be certain, it doesn't like to have any doubts. It can't handle paradoxes. The mind is so dumb, I hate it. I really feel now like the mind is my enemy.

I fully understand you, I know how it feels to want to know something, but not having the mental capabilities. Maybe we aren't mean to uncover these things yet, maybe one day society will know the answers, I dont know. I hope you find peace, know that you aren't alone, we are all together in this huge world and all is well, accepting is probably what you need to do, at least thats what I think might be the case, im not sure. Still, reality seems to be pointing towards positive change and growth. I hope you are having a great day.

[YoungSeeker]

And there's more. Who created my identity? What if I created it? What if I created myself? What if I created my past, future, pain, problems, suffering and so on? Even health issues were created by me. Everything was created by me. Even this reality was created by me. You don't live in the same reality I live. You create your own reality. Mine is different from yours. Is there any objective reality or there is just different reality for everyone? Most of us have similar realities the ones who don't are kept in special institutions. How do you say if the person is insane? What if we are all insane and someone who's considered insane is really found the truth. What if I created this world? Which senses are true and which are false? Is our eyesight true or false? If you don't see something then it doesn't exist? What about blind people? They live in the same world, don't they? But they get the information about it differently. How can you perceive the reality objectively? If you can at all? Which sense is more true? All these questions are keeping me awake. They seem important to answer but what if they'll turn out to be meaningless? What if there's no point in finding the answer?

[YoungSeeker]

And finally. Where is the boundary between you and the outside world? Your skin is the boundary? What if not? Is there a difference between you and outside world or it's all the same? I think that we'll find the answer someday. If we don't have it then we're not ready yet. I have this feeling that everything just comes when the time is right. So we'll just wait for this time to come. Patience that's what we need.

25 minutes ago, Sharpadox said:

Still, reality seems to be pointing towards positive change and growth.

That's true. All these "spiritual" teachings become more popular and world's awareness grows drastically.

[YoungSeeker]

Nobody answered they are in control. That's strange. I thought it would be the most popular answer. Maybe that's because we have people here who know a lot about enlightenment theory. Maybe results would be different if we ask random people on the street. But what if not? What if results would be the same? What if we have no control because we just assume we can't possibly have it? I don't believe it but it could be the case, you gotta be open-minded.

[YoungSeeker]

I don't really believe in this control idea anymore though because yesterday I had this kind of "rage attack". It was really bad. And I thought: "Where is your control now?" I don't even know where those feeling came from. I believe I had this anger yesterday because of holding this idea of control in my mind for the last week. And probably that's how ego got me back. All this idea of control right from the start probably was ego's game with me. That's the conclusion I came to but I'm still open to solving this problem. I'm not completely done yet