A healthy ego = no suffering in daily living?

[Heaven]

Hey all? 

I’m looking to develop a healthy ego that is aligned with the ultimate Truth. And not serving just the self.
Let me define a healthy ego first: Be less selfish: add value to society, donate money if possible, volunteer, be kind, be grateful for the lil things, love unconditionally(as much as I can). Trust in God’s will. Know when to put boundaries when relating with others, etc..

I know that it is kind of rules.(Religion style)And maybe there will be an attachment to those shoulds.

Is there something problematic with that that I can’t see? Is it an ideology?(Leo warns not to take any)

Will this kind of behaviors prevent suffering in daily living?

 

Edited March 3, 2021 by Heaven

[Globalcollective]

A healthy ego is more about your ability to cope with daily life and process emotions in a relatively ballanced way. 

Yes it reduces suffering overall as your better at dealing with lifes challenges and also less prone to spritual bypassing. Tho it only takes you so far and enlightenment is the real key to ending suffering. 

What your describing sounds more like what a saintly person would do but ideally yeah its great if you can do all of tho's things. 

[Grateful Dead]

https://medium.com/true-self-or-no-self/why-ego-isnt-the-enemy-e270cef2e35d

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

There will be suffering as soon as that (imaginary) ego of yours falls short of its own lofty standards, which will inevitably be the case.

This is why spiritual teachers stress the necessity of letting go of all presumptions and expectations - like the presumption that there is such a think as "your ego" and the expectation that it will find happiness at some point in the future.

[Gesundheit]

Healthy egos have no questions.

[allislove]

@Heaven

Metaphorically... let's assume the screen plays a movie. The movie character starts to donate money, etc. Then, the movie turns in a way that the movie character looses some body part for example, huge suffering arises for this character. The end of suffering is to realize that you are the whole movie & the screen simultaneously. Nothing can affect you, you are not a healthy movie character, you are the whole movie & the screen. There is only screen.

[Heaven]

Thanks for the answers? 
Let me expand a lil..

When I’m by myself I experience huge amount of happiness, bliss and joy.

The issue is when I relate to complicated activities and dealing with people. Something takes me out of the alignment..

Maybe because I have to strengthen my ability to abide in I am.

 

[JonasVE12]

@allislove I agree with you, but let's also not forget that in the apparant idenfication to the movie charachter, healthy ego structure matters, because even when you realise that you are the movie & screen & charachter, change is not an automatic consequence. Unhealthy ego's have certain tendencies of mind that is difficult to purify without the right path and it does not involve letting go of identification as a priority, rather development should be following that leads to a healthy ego, and then spirituality and presence can only be cummulative to someone's potential. 

[RendHeaven]

1 hour ago, Heaven said:

I’m looking to develop a healthy ego that is aligned with the ultimate Truth. And not serving just the self.

lol

[mandyjw]

When your kidneys are healthy you just don't think about them hardly ever. 

[allislove]

@Heaven

You are welcome.

41 minutes ago, Heaven said:

The issue is when I relate to complicated activities and dealing with people. Something takes me out of the alignment..

Maybe because I have to strengthen my ability to abide in I am.

Can relate to it... keep abiding... there is ever-present happiness. ?

@JonasVE12 

Sure, developing a movie character... is a feature, not a bug. Everything leads to this... just have to notice how you feel. ?

[Gesundheit]

26 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

When your kidneys are healthy you just don't think about them hardly ever. 

Wow! That's a really deep and powerful quote!

[Display_Name]

Being a self at all is inherently painful

[Moksha]

Healthy ego is an oxymoron. The ego is false identification with the conditioned mind, which ultimately leads to suffering. Letting go of thinking, and directly abiding in who You are, banishes the ego. Unfortunately, few of us are able to stay present always, so inevitably the ego returns.

Thinking isn't inherently unhealthy, as long as we don't identify with it. A nice quote I came across yesterday, from Ram Dass:

But it turns out giving up conceptual thinking is not so scary after all - in fact, it's a relief! I keep telling people, "You are not who you think you are." So-called objective reality is only relatively real compared to the deeper reality of the Self...

The paradox is that to really practice mindfulness, you have to let go of thinking. The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.

[Heaven]

32 minutes ago, Moksha said:

Healthy ego is an oxymoron. The ego is false identification with the conditioned mind, which ultimately leads to suffering. Letting go of thinking, and directly abiding in who You are, banishes the ego. Unfortunately, few of us are able to stay present always, so inevitably the ego returns.

Thinking isn't inherently unhealthy, as long as we don't identify with it. A nice quote I came across yesterday, from Ram Dass:

But it turns out giving up conceptual thinking is not so scary after all - in fact, it's a relief! I keep telling people, "You are not who you think you are." So-called objective reality is only relatively real compared to the deeper reality of the Self...

The paradox is that to really practice mindfulness, you have to let go of thinking. The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.

Wow dude it really resonates..thank u.

Thank you all?

[mandyjw]

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

Wow! That's a really deep and powerful quote!

Kind of funny too, like a person who realizes "OMG, I'm so selfish, I only think of myself!" is still in that moment only thinking about... themselves. 

[Nahm]

“Movement and repose”

- Jesus

[Moksha]

@Heaven ?

[Gesundheit]

@mandyjw I'm sold. Just give me the diet you're currently on already!

[universe]

4 hours ago, Heaven said:

When I’m by myself I experience huge amount of happiness, bliss and joy.

The issue is when I relate to complicated activities and dealing with people. Something takes me out of the alignment..

Feel if there is any need coming up.

Could be a

Need for control.

Need for love.

Need for approval.

Need for safety.