Why do women get turned on slower than men do?

[ilja]

5 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

Nothing wrong per say with being a slut. Most men love sluts but then get all hesitant cause they realize if she was easy for him she may have been easy for 30 others before her. Most men want sluts for the short term but then act all holy like they now want a nun to settle down with. Survival and self bias is so funny when it comes to dating.

there are different goals for dating. one for sexy time other for relationship

[Hardkill]

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

Nothing wrong per say with being a slut. Most men love sluts but then get all hesitant cause they realize if she was easy for him she may have been easy for 30 others before her. Most men want sluts for the short term but then act all holy like they now want a nun to settle down with. Survival and self bias is so funny when it comes to dating.

It's kinda stupid to worry about a girl being "easy" because it's still always hard for guys to get free sex easily from any girl, regardless of how sexually liberated any of girls you want to sleep with are. This of course is particularly true if you are a newbie with seduction or suck at dating as a guy.

Edited March 2, 2021 by Hardkill

[mandyjw]

I think it's super simple, being turned on is a prerequisite for sex to happen at all for men, not for women. 

[Emerald]

On 2/28/2021 at 2:09 AM, Hardkill said:

So, I know that women generally get sexually turned on slower than men. However, I've heard of various reasons as to why this is including women having been socially conditioned by society to usually be afraid of being slut-shamed whereas men generally are not, most women are used to getting constant sexual attention and choices from the opposite sex whereas most men usually don't get much sexual attention and choices from the opposite sex, have more safety issues to be worried about than men do, brain differences between men and women, differences in chromosomes and genetic coding between men and women, etc. Do, any of you guys know or what do any of you think?

Women do get turned on more slowly. It isn't conditioned in, it's physiological. That's just the way the female body works.

I would suppose that it's because women have to make a deep intuitive decision about who she wants to father her children. So, the slow-burn of gradual attraction and gradual sexual arousal helps with giving her a time of clarity to suss that out.

I imagine that if women were as easily turned on as men, then we'd also be as non-selective in who they'll sleep with as most men are. Most men are usually always ready to go. If most women were also always ready to go, we'd probably have tons more issues with STDs, over-population, and uncared for children.

It seems like women's slow burning sexuality acts as a bit of friction to keep us all from the social decay that would ensue from everyone fucking everyone else all the time every day. That's always what I've chalked it up to.

[Emerald]

11 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Some women get turned on quicker than men: they are called sluts and they do exist. Nothing wrong with them. They have the right to exist too.

There are not a lot of naturally born sluts because they got weeded out by natural selection.

What you said makes no sense. 

"Sluts" have a lot of sex... which means that they DON'T get weeded out by natural selection.

Lots of sex = Lots of kids = Lots of DNA being passed down = Lots of people with "slut" DNA

[Gesundheit]

https://theconversation.com/what-makes-a-woman-a-nymphomaniac-20306

[StarStruck]

6 hours ago, Emerald said:

What you said makes no sense. 

"Sluts" have a lot of sex... which means that they DON'T get weeded out by natural selection.

Lots of sex = Lots of kids = Lots of DNA being passed down = Lots of people with "slut" DNA

Really? Why do you think women are picky? If they have sex with a stud who knocks her up and never wants to see her again, how is she going to provide for her child, and safety of herself and her kid(s) from random men? 

Edited March 3, 2021 by StarStruck

[Hardkill]

On 3/2/2021 at 8:29 PM, Emerald said:

Women do get turned on more slowly. It isn't conditioned in, it's physiological. That's just the way the female body works.

I would suppose that it's because women have to make a deep intuitive decision about who she wants to father her children. So, the slow-burn of gradual attraction and gradual sexual arousal helps with giving her a time of clarity to suss that out.

I imagine that if women were as easily turned on as men, then we'd also be as non-selective in who they'll sleep with as most men are. Most men are usually always ready to go. If most women were also always ready to go, we'd probably have tons more issues with STDs, over-population, and uncared for children.

It seems like women's slow burning sexuality acts as a bit of friction to keep us all from the social decay that would ensue from everyone fucking everyone else all the time every day. That's always what I've chalked it up to.

I see. Yeah, I guess things would get out of control throughout the entire world if women were turned on as fast and as easily as men are.

So, do woman not feel any sort of sexual attraction to guys (or girls for those who are either lesbians or bisexuals) they are just checking out?

Edited March 5, 2021 by Hardkill

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Hardkill said:

I see. Yeah, I guess things would get out of control throughout the entire world if women were turned on as fast and as easily as men are.

So, do woman not feel any sort of sexual attraction to guys (or girls for those who are either lesbians or bisexuals) they are just checking out?

Women do feel sexual attraction. But that doesn't usually directly translate to sexual arousal. 

I can be sexually attracted to someone, but it will take the right circumstances to reach a point of sexual arousal. 

Basically, attraction and arousal are two different things. 

[Hardkill]

17 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Women do feel sexual attraction. But that doesn't usually directly translate to sexual arousal. 

I can be sexually attracted to someone, but it will take the right circumstances to reach a point of sexual arousal. 

Basically, attraction and arousal are two different things. 

Ok, so then what do you feel and think when you are sexually attracted to someone versus when you are sexually aroused to someone?

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Ok, so then what do you feel and think when you are sexually attracted to someone versus when you are sexually aroused to someone?

If I'm sexually attracted to someone, there is a range. If I'm very attracted to that person in particular, it's like I just like being around that person and feel really good "melty" kind of emotions. I want to be close to them.

If I'm mildly sexually attracted to someone, the person is relatively indifferent to me sexually. I just recognize that there's something I like about their mannerisms and looks.

Now, if I'm aroused by someone, that probably means that I'm actually in an intimate setting with a person that I'm sexually attracted to. It probably means that things have begun to unfold sexually. It takes the right conditions and mindset to cross that threshold, even if I'm very sexually attracted to a guy. 

[Hardkill]

11 minutes ago, Emerald said:

If I'm sexually attracted to someone, there is a range. If I'm very attracted to that person in particular, it's like I just like being around that person and feel really good "melty" kind of emotions. I want to be close to them.

If I'm mildly sexually attracted to someone, the person is relatively indifferent to me sexually. I just recognize that there's something I like about their mannerisms and looks.

Now, if I'm aroused by someone, that probably means that I'm actually in an intimate setting with a person that I'm sexually attracted to. It probably means that things have begun to unfold sexually. It takes the right conditions and mindset to cross that threshold, even if I'm very sexually attracted to a guy. 

So, if you're mildly sexually attracted to someone, then you start off liking them only as a friend, at that point? Like at that point, you'd be thinking and feeling "Hey, he seems cool or interesting to talk to" or "he seems charming so far" or "he right now seem to be a kind of guy whom I'd like to hangout with, grab a drink with or watch a movie or tv show with or play board or video games/computer games with or sports games with or go hiking with or talk about fun stories or make funny jokes with or what have you......."?

[Emerald]

38 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

So, if you're mildly sexually attracted to someone, then you start off liking them only as a friend, at that point? Like at that point, you'd be thinking and feeling "Hey, he seems cool or interesting to talk to" or "he seems charming so far" or "he right now seem to be a kind of guy whom I'd like to hangout with, grab a drink with or watch a movie or tv show with or play board or video games/computer games with or sports games with or go hiking with or talk about fun stories or make funny jokes with or what have you......."?

Mild sexual attraction usually isn't enough to spark genuine interest where I want to spend more time with a guy. The interest/attraction has to grow a bit more before considering that. 

I would say that I'm mildly sexually attracted to about 20-30% of guys... mostly in a subconscious way that I don't think about much. This is why deeper attractions to a man usually hit me out of nowhere and seem to randomly spring up the subconscious. There are like tons of very small seeds of attraction towards 20%-30% of men that sit dormant in my subconscious, but only one of those seeds can grow at a time. And it's always surprising when something sprouts above the surface.

But that low level of attraction stays mostly subconscious because it's doesn't have enough emotional intensity to grab my interest. It's like a very weak magnet, though magnetism is still there as a potential. And if asked, within a week, I could probably introspect a bit and sense whether or not that magnetism is there and/or if there's any potential for that magnetism to grow. 

Usually for me to be genuinely attracted to a guy in a deeper way where I would consider a partnership with him, the case would be that I see the guy in day-to-day life over the course of months. That is the thing that can water the seed of attraction that I have towards him, but it can also show me that that seed is not meant to grow.

At first, there's a mild sexual attraction to him that's barely noticeable but still there. And after a few months, I'll know if that seed of mild sexual attraction blooms into a substantial holistic attraction or not. Most of the mild sexual attractions don't end up sprouting and blooming, so there is no real motive to try things out. Like I said, I'm mildly sexually attracted to a significant portion of the male population. But most of these never grow into something truly magnetic. So, I let my intuition do the sorting.

But once the mild attraction begins to bud, the intensity of the attraction builds and my interest grows and grows. Then, it will usually bloom into a full-blown attraction that's so intense that I'm thinking about him all the time. So, in the sprouting/budding process is typically where I would start noticing that I'm attracted to a guy and wanting to spend more time with him. That's when I would start noticing his charm.

But this is never a guarantee that it will happen. Most mild sexual attractions never go beyond the seed phase. Most seeds never grow to the point of warranting attention. 

That said, if I were in a space where I wanted to have a one-night stand, then I could become aroused even if the sexual attraction is mild and may never turn into anything substantial. Though these kinds of experiences don't actually give me what I'm looking for in sex (which is intimacy and connection), so I'd be unlikely to engage in one-night stands at this juncture in my life if I were to find myself single again.  

[zeroISinfinity]

[zeroISinfinity]

Guys one small tip. Don't learn from women about getting women. 

[zeroISinfinity]

On 28.2.2021. at 11:34 PM, Leo Gura said:

Because it is against her survival agenda to get turned on as quick as a guy. All her power is lost after sex so she needs to safeguard it.

On 28.2.2021. at 11:34 PM, Leo Gura said:

 

✔️

Oh relative, missed you so much. 

[Emerald]

15 hours ago, zeroISinfinity said:

Guys one small tip. Don't learn from women about getting women. 

If a man doesn't understand a woman's perspective on sexuality, he won't be able to satisfy her. Period.

Women are looking for intimacy in relationships, which means being seen, heard, and understood. And if a man closes his ears to how a woman orients to her own sexual/romantic feelings, then intimacy (especially sexual intimacy) with that man is simply not possible. And this leaves a woman empty handed and sex/relationship with that man becomes more of a chore as it doesn't end up giving us what motivates us towards sex and relationship to begin with.

So, a man may be able to 'get' a woman by listening to other men's accounts on how to get women... but he'll only be able to satisfy himself if that's all he does.

And that's fine if simply getting a woman is your agenda. If you just want to sleep with a bunch of women and engage in mutual masturbation, then you can listen to men about how to hook a woman. It's a numbers game, so you will eventually find a woman who will take you if you play the game and do so many cold approaches.

But don't fool yourself into thinking that 'getting' a woman is the same thing as satisfying a woman. 

And you may be thinking, "Well, I slept with ______ by listening to that advice and she told me she was satisfied." It's important to understand that a woman who is desperate enough for intimacy to sleep with a guy who cold approached her, will tell that guy any sweet thing in hopes of getting him to open up.

Now, I don't want to take away from any sense of efficacy you may feel in sexual situations with women. But you must understand that stroking a man's ego about his own sexual prowess is something that men appreciate so much that it is often an indirect way that women try to get more intimacy from men. And women are often unaware that they're doing that. It's usually that they're unconsciously grasping for the intimacy that feels just out of reach and they're trying to push whichever button will bring the intimacy closer. 

[ilja]

@Emerald Solid stuff! People here should soak that up for their and everyones sake.

[zeroISinfinity]

@Emerald Thank you. Solid stuff. 

Don't get me wrong. Honestly I don't really need this stuff. I am in wonderful relationship where I can be exactly how I am and I don't bother with this questions at all. 

It was long time ago I bothered myself with male - female stuff. Just having fun that's all. Mostly to correct some stuff. 

The way I was will never recommend to anyone or teach them yet  it will get 'em ladies. 

 

[Preety_India]

Women get turned on slower is because women need intimacy to build on.