Stop focusing on trying to fix things/on what doesn't feel good

[Waken]

When not feeling good about something, or when having mental or emotional problems, stop focusing on that. Stop trying to fix issues. At a certain time I created fearful mind patterns and could really spiral downwards into them. I would really want a solution for it. I would try to evade having those thoughts, and my mind would monitor these thoughts all the time 'Is it there still? Is there still fear now? Oh, still some there, hope it doesn't get worse. Ah, if I do that, these thoughts will come again. Is the fear still there, is it getting worse?' blahblahblah

I would suggest, stop focusing on ANYTHING that doesn't feel good and in general, stop forcing yourself to do things. If something in your work doesn't go well, if you have a disease, a trait you can't 'fix', someoe you don't like, anything. Stop focusing on that. Instead perhaps just try to start your day in a way that makes you feel good (perhaps meditation, perhaps listening to a song you really like, taking a walk, etc) and then spend the rest of the day on things that have the best available feeling in them or, and it's the same thing, focusing on what you would do with the least resistance. If something uncomfortable does come up, just be with it, relax, perhaps if it's a mental problem say something like 'I don't need to fix anything, just focusing on what feels best' and when feeling better, move on to what you do like.

Just wanted to share

Edited February 27, 2021 by Waken

[Preety_India]

This was good.  Often times focusing on wrong things is the devil's way of engaging us in fruitless things. 

 

[Consept]

Thanks for sharing, have been caught in these downward spirals recently, constantly looking for solutions so this is a great reminder 

[Nahm]

@Waken

That felt great. Thank you. 

[Waken]

On 27-2-2021 at 0:21 PM, Preety_India said:

This was good.  Often times focusing on wrong things is the devil's way of engaging us in fruitless things. 

 

Yes, I like how you phrased that:)
 

On 27-2-2021 at 3:19 PM, Consept said:

Thanks for sharing, have been caught in these downward spirals recently, constantly looking for solutions so this is a great reminder 

Cool. I know, it sucks very much these downwards spirals
 

@Peter Miklis Nice, thank you. Also, nice part about depression that you shared. I once heard something about it which I liked which went something like that what we call depression is just like a realization that we won't find the answers we are looking for outside. And if you don't label that as depression you won't experience that phase so negatively.

 

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Waken

That felt great. Thank you. 

[roopepa]

@Waken I've become very familiar with those spiraling negative patterns in the last year or so. I've recently come to the same conclusion, or perspective as you: just leave the game altogether, there is no need for resolution, there is nothing to "find" or to "win" in the negative thought-game.

It is just really hard to focus on better feeling thoughts, as your mind keeps returning to the negative spiral. "Try not to think about a pink elephant." Any advice on this?

By the way @Nahm this subject would make a very good youtube video.

[Nahm]

@roopepa I agree, thanks. 

[Waken]

On 28-2-2021 at 8:29 PM, roopepa said:

@Waken I've become very familiar with those spiraling negative patterns in the last year or so. I've recently come to the same conclusion, or perspective as you: just leave the game altogether, there is no need for resolution, there is nothing to "find" or to "win" in the negative thought-game.

It is just really hard to focus on better feeling thoughts, as your mind keeps returning to the negative spiral. "Try not to think about a pink elephant." Any advice on this?

By the way @Nahm this subject would make a very good youtube video.

Thank you, and yep I very much resonate that it can be really hard to focus on betting feeling thoughts when negative thought spirals have a strong momentum. It drove me to tears at times when it was very bad. As I see it now, when you've created a strong momentum with these thought patterns, when it comes up again sometimes you just got to ride through it to a certain degree. I've actually downloaded 2 days ago a guided meditation CD from Abraham Hicks, which is pretty much build on dealing with these things. The meditations requires you to align your breathing with the music, which takes enough of your attention so that your focus on other things goes away. I feel some curiosity about trying that out.

In general, I found just doing things throughout the day on things that feel good to you, that contain attraction/joy/excitement/wellbeing/etc will just make you feel much better and put your focus on other things. Because to me anyway, it is very exciting to feel to be on the path towards my wholeness by following the guidance of my feelings. You might then awaken with some thoughts of enthusiasm and the not-so-good feeling thoughts can diminish very quickly this way. When some thought patterns do come up now for me, they are not that strong as they used to and so it's easier to redirect the focus. When it does come up, I repeat something like 'I don't need to fix any thoughts, I don't need to monitor any thought, I don't need to correct any thought'. For me, I know that that is true and knowing that gives some relief. Or perhaps I'll repeat some general words of well-being like 'letting go, safe, love' over and over, and repeat them slower over time. Afterwards I don't always wait until the negative energies are completely gone, just mostly and at that point but I'll just start thinking about what I would like to do most throughout that day and I'll do that. Then if it wasn't gone already at the time I'm doing what gives me most enthusiasm it will be gone quite quickly anyway.

But you'll just got to find something that works for you and makes you feel a little better at that moment of negative thought. I like repeating words of well-being like described, puts a smile on my face after doing it for some time. Maybe instead of finding thoughts that give you some relief, you like it more to put your focus down in your belly (I've also done that), or playing some nice music, taking a run, whatever. Still what helped the most I feel has just been focusing on what was most attractive/enthusiastic/etc throughout the day.

Well, that was a rather long reply wasn't it. 

Edited March 2, 2021 by Waken

[roopepa]

On 1.3.2021 at 11:23 AM, Waken said:

I've actually downloaded 2 days ago a guided meditation CD from Abraham Hicks, which is pretty much build on dealing with these things. The meditations requires you to align your breathing with the music, which takes enough of your attention so that your focus on other things goes away. I feel some curiosity about trying that out.

That sounds awesome. I have to take a look.

Your reply was very helpful. Thank you