Female. Online dating for searching potential males/ lockdowns in a small city

[StarStruck]

My advice is to look for a nice guy, not the most attractive asshole that you might find attractive.

About the gym: guys don't approach you because they have been told to leave women alone in the gym.

If a woman wants to be approached by me in the gym, she has to give EXPLICIT signs that she is interested in me.

[Space]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

@Space I love how you make it like relationship abuse and being dumped is a female only issue. 75 percent of divorces are filed by females and in general it is not at all a gender related issue. Both sexes dump, manipulate, cheat, abuse and fuck over each other. The things you say are just as much of a guy issue as of a girl issue. 

Secondly try to screen for traits like dominance, assertiveness and stuff like that. If a guy is very assertive and dominant do not get with him. Try to find a respectful guy that treats you equally and does not act all macho and stuff. 1-2 dates are all you need to see that. Also try not to date those slick, silver tongue guys that give salesmen vibes and are all smooth and shit. Just these two filters will remove you most asshole players.

 

A fair point, thanks for offering your perspective. I blame no one. Everyone is just trying to survive. 

I 100% recognise that relationship abuse is not a female only issue. I'd never suggest otherwise. If you interpreted that from my post then your interpretation was simply incorrect. 

This is complex stuff, it's difficult to communicate all of the subtleties, details and alternate view points in one forum post. My post was specifically focused on the idea that women have it easier when it comes to casual sex/hookups. I believe this to be more untrue than guys believe. It tends to be a defense mechanism from guys who don't get laid. And I know this because I am one of those guys. I know why there is so much blame on women for our lack of sex. It's fucking hard sometimes. But having a genuine insight into the nature of a woman's experience is incredibly beneficial. Actually stepping into their shoes and seeing the process of social survival. 

[Karmadhi]

@Space It just pisses me off when girls complain about guys treating them badly when they choose the guys exactly based on traits that in the long run will cause them to treat them badly. I already said it. High assertiveness, dominance, edginess, slickness, and silver tongue wittiness should be red flags. Remove people with these characteristics from your dating life and you will never have issues with being abused, cheated, manipulated again. Just find a confident funny guy with normal social skills, no need for a pussy magnet. Then focus on other stuff like intelligence, honesty, kindness etc.

I also advice my guy friends not to go for a super super hot girl because those tend to be pain in the ass to deal with. Just find a cute girl that is smart funny cool and honest, sweet. 

Both genders are creating their own problems here.

Edited February 27, 2021 by Karmadhi

[RendHeaven]

@Karmadhi

6 hours ago, Space said:

It tends to be a defense mechanism from guys who don't get laid.

 

[ertopolice]

14 hours ago, StarStruck said:

My advice is to look for a nice guy, not the most attractive asshole that you might find attractive.

About the gym: guys don't approach you because they have been told to leave women alone in the gym.

If a woman wants to be approached by me in the gym, she has to give EXPLICIT signs that she is interested in me.

You are probably right and i appreciate their respect for my training goals. 

As a 10000x multitasked person in the past i had little time to train so i was totally focused on that when i hit the weight room. Now, i realized that apart from married friends and all i lack new social stimulus so that's why i considered the idea of getting to know someone with similar "values" there..but yes, needs to be explicit and also in my experience i am a better match for older/ more mature men than the ones of my age. 

 

[StarStruck]

32 minutes ago, ertopolice said:

You are probably right and i appreciate their respect for my training goals. 

As a 10000x multitasked person in the past i had little time to train so i was totally focused on that when i hit the weight room. Now, i realized that apart from married friends and all i lack new social stimulus so that's why i considered the idea of getting to know someone with similar "values" there..but yes, needs to be explicit and also in my experience i am a better match for older/ more mature men than the ones of my age. 

 

How old are you?

[intotheblack]

12 minutes ago, modmyth said:

This makes me think of the movie Under the Skin where Scarlet Johansson was playing an alien that sexually lured men and harvested them for their flesh, and she actually picked up dudes for real in Scotland. Apparently her creepy van did not deter them. 

Haha I saw that movie at the cinema 

[ertopolice]

4 hours ago, StarStruck said:

How old are you?

@StarStruck 32y/o

why?

[ertopolice]

@modmyth the divine feminine power

[Gili Trawangan]

4 hours ago, modmyth said:

she actually picked up dudes for real in Scotland.

@modmyth What do you mean "for real"? I saw the movie too 

[zeroISinfinity]

On 1.3.2021. at 2:19 PM, Peter Miklis said:

Men are simple creatures lol

?

[Logan]

@ertopolice Consider moving to a bigger city. There will be more options and you won't have to travel as much to meet up. Maybe they think you are too far away so they don't engage? Not sure how far you are from other towns but this could be a reason.

[ertopolice]

@Logan Some years ago many ppl advised me to do so, but for different reasons

It's true that sometimes i feel that i do not fit in this town. Too small and not so many opportunities for growth. I jus tasty here for job reasons to be honest.

Regadring apps and the distance when u match someone..it's true ppl in my country skip matches which they consider that are too far away from their place of residence.