Female. Online dating for searching potential males/ lockdowns in a small city

[Username]

Dating for females is sooo much easier than for males  It's unfair. You do not have to ANYTHING. 

(assuming that you have extremely low expectations)

[Bando]

@ertopolice  Depends on what your looking for if your looking for a genuine relationships I would defiantly recommend using your network or ask any of your friends if they know anybody thats suitable for you. I wouldn't nessaseraliy recommend to approach random guys because that can have the opposite affect as in reality most guys will find that odd and misinterpret you as "easy" I would recommend you go to pubic spots in your area, (if thats an option), make casual small talk with some people and throw heavy choosing signals. Learning how to flirt and make a guy feel comfortable is also a skill you should learn. I wouldn't recommend online dating for a female unless its just for casual sex as or you set boundaries on what you expect from a man.

Some of you guys project way to much of your own bs onto other women and then complain why your aren't getting girls lol

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India Girls care about charisma, guys care about looks. It's all in the game yo. Both equally fucked up.

@Striving for more I love how you say in any way that girls have dating easier the whole forum freaks out without ever explaining why exactly. Better stop saying it because you will not get positive responses nor an explanation.

@ertopoliceGo out in bars and clubs, dress well so you look good and wait for guys to hit on you. If they do not actively do it then just start locking eyes with those you find nice or are looking at you. Then smile at them. It is really easy tbh. If it is a dance floor start dancing with someone and they will after try to initiate a conversation. You do not even need dating apps. 

[Arcangelo]

1 hour ago, Bando said:

misinterpret you as "easy"

I agree. But I wouldn't go too far and say: -''Leave pick up for men.''

You approach who you like, that doesn't make you easy. But even I will misinterpret it and think you are easy. And that's fine.

Just like some girls misinterpret me as a player, or a creep, or a rapist, or a psycho because I do cold approaching. I am just a regular guy looking for love.

It's like having a one night stand. I will instantly label the girl as easy, but in reality the girl perceived me as a 10, that's why she had sex with me the day we met.

 

Arc

[Leo Gura]

@ertopolice If you look as you say, and create a profile on OkCupid or Match.com, you will get dozens of guys asking for a date.

You are creating a problem where none exists.

[Space]

8 hours ago, Username said:

Dating for females is sooo much easier than for males  It's unfair. You do not have to ANYTHING. 

(assuming that you have extremely low expectations)

Except for having to choose the right candidate out of hundreds of applications and making sure that you don't end up choosing the degenerate abuser who won't leave you after 6 months...

[Preety_India]

23 minutes ago, Space said:

Except for having to choose the right candidate out of hundreds of applications and making sure that you don't end up choosing the degenerate abuser who won't leave you after 6 months...

Golden words.  Salute. 

(people never ever try to understand a female perspective at all. Its not easy for women. )

 

[zeroISinfinity]

29 minutes ago, Space said:

Except for having to choose the right candidate out of hundreds of applications and making sure that you don't end up choosing the one who won't leave you after 6 months...

Khm khm way sooner. 

[ertopolice]

It's so complicated for us. 

Well, "just for sex" thing does not apply to me. Sex is energy. I watch out very carefully where do i spend my energies towards..

Yes. Most (if not all) of us are looking for a relationship..and seems those apps are full of males eager to find a sexual mate with no compromise at all 

[intotheblack]

And the guys click ‘like’ on every girl, just to try and get as many matches as possible.  The more matches = ego boost   
a guy I used to work with would sit on his phone liking until his likes ran out for the day.. not even looking at the profiles.  Just like a robot. Lol. 
 

I also understand why some guys do this though, because they might get less matches in general, so liking all photos increases their chance.  
But I’ve seen the more egotistical side of it.. just swiping to get matches and follows on Instagram and not really caring about connecting with someone 

Edited February 27, 2021 by intotheblack

[zeroISinfinity]

@intotheblack Thank you! 

Ok enough of this for today .

Will just get annoyed. Have ex friend like this, no quality to it of any sort. 

Edited February 27, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[integral]

15 hours ago, intotheblack said:

 As @Preety_India said meetings in real life are the best way, online dating is very shallow and it seems you aren’t looking for something like that.  It wastes a lot of time. 

Maybe its not all a lost cause, ideally moving to a high consciousness community and finding a guy is easy, but if thats not an option the match making system is a good filter. Going to have better luck finding someone you connect with if there profile sais 99% match then meeting a random guy out in the wild.  

 

[intotheblack]

55 minutes ago, integral said:

if there profile sais 99% match

Is that on okcupid? I did try going on there years ago but I felt like a lamb sent out to the wolves.. you get flooded with messages and anyone can contact you. 

But I was talking more about tinder - that turned into an ego booster for the people trying to get likes.  Male and female.  Using it to get Instagram follows... or... depending where you live, people are in open relationships and looking for side chicks. 

I totally think that some people can get lucky and meet a genuine person, I know people that met eachother through online dating and started a relationship... but this was 5-10 years ago, when people took online dating seriously and were searching for a partner.... those days are gone it’s all about hook ups now. 

[integral]

@intotheblack yes, okcupid

Got to filter the men by match percentage, only focus on the ones that say 96-99% match. Also need to answer a good number of questions, 200+ (its quick).

The high match percentage means they answered the same questions in a similar way and so have a good chance of being like minded to you (similar interests, hobbies, sense of humor,,,). 

Did you try this? 

Also the different sites are designed around different audiences. Tinder = hook up culture. 

[Spiral]

Matthew Hussey has great tips. You’ll find him on YouTube.

[Space]

5 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

If a women is just looking for sex, she has it pretty easy, looking for a good relationship and picking the best guy is where it gets challenging.

Yes and no. Its super important to remember that women think about sex quite differently to men. We men project our male mindset onto women which makes it seem like women can just have sex with any random guy. This actually isn't true because women don't want to have sex with any random guy out of a number of fears, anxieties and valuing the emotional-bond component much more strongly. Men will basically have sex with any random girl, except for a small amount of exceptions, partly because there is usually very little or no risk of harm or danger. So we naively assume that women can do that too.

Of course some women do just have random sex. They can go up to a random guy and say 'i'm horny, want to have sex with me?'. However, even in those cases there is still a lot of things they have to check off the list (subconsciously) before actually having sex with the guy. There will always be an underlying anxiety of 'will this guy rape me or abuse me in some way', even if it's just a fun one night stand. There is a still a strong selection process that is necessary and that takes energy and effort on the behalf of the woman. Some women will even go back to a guys place, get in bed with him, but then decide not to have sex with him because of some small thing he said or did. 

So to conclude, if a woman is just looking for sex it is absolutely not as easy for them as you think. Easier in some sense, but actually more difficult than it is for guys in other ways. 

[RendHeaven]

@Space Wow, an actually beautifully-written, intelligent thought!

A breath of fresh air after seeing countless arrogant, naive comments about "wOmEn hAvE iT EZ"

[intotheblack]

2 hours ago, integral said:

Did you try this? 

Yes I think I remember answering some questions on there.. I just didn’t like how there was no control over who can message you. 

I think these dating apps can be good for if you moved to a new city and wanting to meet new people.  Which is what I used it for.  This was around 2016/2017 and I just found people to be very flakey so I started going to meet up groups also. 
 

I wouldn’t use it in my small hometown because you see too many people that know you, from school or going out etc

[Karmadhi]

@Space I love how you make it like relationship abuse and being dumped is a female only issue. 75 percent of divorces are filed by females and in general it is not at all a gender related issue. Both sexes dump, manipulate, cheat, abuse and fuck over each other. The things you say are just as much of a guy issue as of a girl issue. 

Secondly try to screen for traits like dominance, assertiveness and stuff like that. If a guy is very assertive and dominant do not get with him. Try to find a respectful guy that treats you equally and does not act all macho and stuff. 1-2 dates are all you need to see that. Also try not to date those slick, silver tongue guys that give salesmen vibes and are all smooth and shit. Just these two filters will remove you most asshole players.

 

Edited February 27, 2021 by Karmadhi

[ertopolice]

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@ertopolice If you look as you say, and create a profile on OkCupid or Match.com, you will get dozens of guys asking for a date.

You are creating a problem where none exists.

You're probably right regarding my mindset tricking me that i could not achieve something...

Regarding those apps, the times I've tried to do a big of search..i end up disappointed because of my findings. Only sex, no brain, no interests, so  i end up leaving those apps/sites and try again a few months later...

6 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

The thing is, if a man pursues a woman with intent to be in a relationship, and is not sexual right away, it tends to come off as overly needy and it's generally not the best approach. Like Leo said in one of his posts, there's a natural dynamic between man and a woman that must be mantained. It's all very counterintuitive lol.

Ussually, woman gets to really know a man once she is already in a relationship with him for some time. And by that time, he may have already hurt her in some way (cheat on her, abuse her, etc)

True. The "nice" guys sometimes are rejected by us because the do not play very well certain roles but likewise  i never trust very much the "bad" guys all of us cannot help being attracted to. It's a problem. 

@integral That app it is not so popular in my country unfortunately

@Space Good explanation