Female. Online dating for searching potential males/ lockdowns in a small city

[ertopolice]

I would really appreciate your views form all over the world

I am a 32 y/o female who lives in a little town

Due to personal reasons, career goals and stuff I've never worried too much about the dating thing. I struggled with my self confidence and focused all my efforts on my career goals.

During all this time lost in that area, I've realized there's something about me i should have fixed earlier.

I've lacking social network for years and now all my fiends are on long term relationships or married. 

In others words my physique is above average. I got a professional career and a stable job. I am starting into this actualized thing awell..

BUT

Even I notice men look at me.. (e.g at the gym) they never try to interact with me r something. I cannot get to meet new ppl at work nowadays and live in a tiny city.

I was considering SOCIAL NETWORKS for meeting males/potential dates/ friends..but the little attempt to join i've made i've found lot of men feeling superior and asking for my IG. After transferring to IG, and due to my little posts and pics..they remove me. They were asking for full body pictures or cool stuff.

I got a normal life. A real one. However I got an athletic body i do not show on my networks and i cannot cope with that! if u d not "sell" urself or ur body your are out of the game...come on...they use to be BELOW AVERAGE LOOKING MALES WITHOUT and also with no brains have to say.

 

Any advice? should i join tinder? should i hire a photographer to pic me? 

 

thank you..

Edited February 26, 2021 by ertopolice

[Preety_India]

Don't go for IG clowns. 

Go for someone in real life. Real life is real deal. 

Search for someone in your city at a local bar, club or restaurant or among people you know like a friends party. 

Show interest in men. Look at them. They will look back at you as well  

When you look at a guy and then steal your look and look elsewhere, they instantly know what you mean. It's a subtle way of saying "id really like if you put me on your radar. "

You don't have to do much. Just look at a guy for moment. They notice it after a while and they will pick your scent. 

 

Edited February 26, 2021 by Preety_India

[intotheblack]

Would you consider moving somewhere else?
If not then travel as soon as you can, even a weekend trip. 

[ertopolice]

@Preety_India

That's what they say "you women got it easier than men"...

when i feel motivated to approach i find it easy to start a conversation and u realise of ur feminine power..but i got that feeling that if i interact to socialize i show needy

but going cold has had not results so for

I definitely play best my cards in real life..my problem is lack of social networks and female friends settled/married/e.g

[ertopolice]

@intotheblack

I considered in the past and rejected the idea after having some issues to fix in my town.

Now i got an stable job and a good income..the thing is that this city lacks of social activities or places to meet people..

that's why i considered dating apps or social networks..

but in my core i am of the thinking that high value ppl (males and females) do not need to use this apps as they got plenty of options in real life...

so i feel as if i "sold" myself in a market which i'd not like to compete because i consider myself above all that stuff..(ego here)

[Preety_India]

@ertopolice social networking is something that you will have to work very hard towards 

You can't build in one day. You start building now and you see results in 6 months to a year 

I met my boyfriend through social networking. He was a friend of a friend. 

For women this is the only way. 

I tried the online technique. It doesn't work. Most men there lose interest quickly  are looking for multiple women, there is low security and they tend to cheat a lot, and they are mostly looking for sex.. 

So real life dating is the only way for which you need more socialization. 

Make more friends in your city even if they are strangers. Visit places 

 

[RendHeaven]

24 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You can't build in one day. You start building now and you see results in 6 months to a year 

I met my boyfriend through social networking. He was a friend of a friend. 

For women this is the only way. 

This rings really true (I'm a male but I've observed almost all of the women in my life begin successful relationships this way).

[intotheblack]

@ertopolice 

26 minutes ago, ertopolice said:

but in my core i am of the thinking that high value ppl (males and females) do not need to use this apps as they got plenty of options in real life...

so i feel as if i "sold" myself in a market which i'd not like to compete because i consider myself above all that stuff..(ego here)

yes forget the online dating  

 As @Preety_India said meetings in real life are the best way, online dating is very shallow and it seems you aren’t looking for something like that.  It wastes a lot of time. 

the problem with trying to find someone in your small town is that there is the ‘small town mentality’ going on.. where everyone knows eachother somehow, and either you get married or you’re seen as being ‘on the shelf’ after a certain age. 
There is a lot of peer pressure.   

And if you do meet someone, chances are someone already knows them or knows some gossip about them! this is how the small town that I grew up in was like, so I’m assuming other small towns are like this lol. 

Travel is one of the best ways to meet people... nobody knows who you are, you can strike up a conversation with a random person and not worry about seeing them again if you don’t want to.  Then one day you might get talking to someone and you connect with them.  And even if you meet nobody, you still have this travel experience. 

I met my boyfriend whilst we were both staying in a hostel together  

 

[Average Investor]

I would just start up some small talk with guys you see out in public. Maybe try out some groups or social clubs. I feel like this would help sort out a lot of creepy ones. Not always, but I am sure there is a lot of that on the apps. The quality would raise up too. Go try out new things more often and it will make it much easier. 

A guy should be able to lead you in the conversation, so it shouldn't be too bad. I know from experience though with girls approaching me it caught me off guard haha. 

[Striving for more]

If you're woman & you're 6 + > You have it pretty easy.

If you're a 7+ > you have it EXTREMELY EASY.

Don't even worry about this, guys are easy as fuck. You have a ton of options. If you're a western woman you just got life given to you on a plate. Enjoy it.  

If you joined tinder - you would instantly have thousands of potential instant mates or dates at your finger tips. But you might feel a bit hollow. 

I personally think tinders bad for society though but I wouldn't blame you. 

[Striving for more]

40 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Travel is one of the best ways to meet people... nobody knows who you are, you can strike up a conversation with a random person and not worry about seeing them again if you don’t want to.  Then one day you might get talking to someone and you connect with them.  And even if you meet nobody, you still have this travel experience. 

I met my boyfriend whilst we were both staying in a hostel together  

^^^^

[Username]

I will analyse your message from MY masculine perspective. Don't take things personally and literally 

1 hour ago, ertopolice said:

I would really appreciate your views form all over the world

I am a 32 y/o female who lives in a little town

We are same age but it works differently for females than for males. I definitely see increased attraction from females. I imagine that finding a girlfriend would be much easier also because of larger age range. I have been approached by girls half my age..

For females it becomes harder because there is an expectation that female is same age or younger. There is also another thing. 20 yo girls is usually single, 30 yo is not. In the first case I would just assume she is single. This is good enough reason not to approach older females.

You have to adjust your strategy. You should make it obvious for a guy that you are single.

1 hour ago, ertopolice said:

Due to personal reasons, career goals and stuff I've never worried too much about the dating thing. I struggled with my self confidence and focused all my efforts on my career goals.

Nobody (I mean guys) cares about career. Just saying.

1 hour ago, ertopolice said:

In others words my physique is above average. I got a professional career and a stable job. I am starting into this actualized thing awell..

(...)

I was considering SOCIAL NETWORKS for meeting males/potential dates/ friends..but the little attempt to join i've made i've found lot of men feeling superior and asking for my IG. After transferring to IG, and due to my little posts and pics..they remove me. They were asking for full body pictures or cool stuff.

I got a normal life. A real one. However I got an athletic body i do not show on my networks and i cannot cope with that! if u d not "sell" urself or ur body your are out of the game...come on...they use to be BELOW AVERAGE LOOKING MALES WITHOUT and also with no brains have to say.

I would avoid exposing your body. You might attract people who are interested for wrong reasons. I might stare at you for ten minutes straight it doesn't mean I'm attracted to you as a person AT ALL. I rather means that body is the most interesting thing and that isn't a good sign.

If I'm attracted to someone body is secondary - except for face. I doubt that athletic body is going to be all that helpful.

1 hour ago, ertopolice said:

Any advice? should i join tinder? should i hire a photographer to pic me? 

The only thing you have to do is to increase your exposure to new males and be aware who are you searching for.

[Javfly33]

1 hour ago, Striving for more said:

. If you're a western woman you just got life given to you on a plate. Enjoy it.  

 

Oh gad here we go...

[Preety_India]

Men who give importance to a woman's body alone, aren't exactly worth having. 

Look for high quality men who are respectful. 

 

Edited February 26, 2021 by Preety_India

[ertopolice]

Many thanks for all your input actualizers!!!

@intotheblack Yes, little town when everyone knows every other one..a bit o a problem there

@Average Investor Definitely trying to find something new to do and meet new people..now it's harder apart for gym/bars because of the lockdown.

@Striving for more Yes..i guess..but i do not show up in the correct places i guess. Just socialize with some friends or workmates during all this time

@Username Exposure, right places, making it obvious...sounds a world to me right now. Perhaps my biggest problem is my lack of a big circle of friends to introduce me potential dates..

@Peter Miklis Totally agree. Brain first. I am not a body. 

[ertopolice]

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Men who give importance to a woman's body alone, aren't exactly worth having. 

Look for high quality men who are respectful. 

 

Definately.

My mind and my spirit do not deserve being overlooked by a guy who sees no further than a body.

[Arcangelo]

It's cool to see that women are day-game-cold-approaching.

You are a brave woman!

Nowadays women are doing pick up. Good, now you guys can stop judging us.

 

[Striving for more]

@Javfly33 wdym oh gad ??

Wasn't coming from a sense of bitterness 

I was saying that as an objective observation, but it's not a negative one. 

Women have been abused & enslaved for centuries & now they've got it better than men at least in the west ... & thank god for that.

I think it's great thing. 

When I meant given to you on a plate I was just referring to dating, although if you are an attractive women then that does get you jobs, money ect... (I am not saying this is fair or a good thing, it is just a cold truth)

 

Edited February 26, 2021 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

@Javfly33 

Leave out the hypersensitive Bullshit. 

I said nothing wrong & make no apology, nor will I discuss further. 

[RendHeaven]

43 minutes ago, Striving for more said:

I was saying that as an objective observation

lol. digging yourself a hole here.