Online Dating driving me NUTS

[Striving for more]

Online dating apps are the worst thing that has happened to society this decade lool. 

[narkuser]

@Phyllis Wagner Hey man can you give us some more background of how you are trying? In what country do you live? How much population in your city? Have you optimized your looks (fitness, style...)? I think you said your problem is your face but that changes a lot with body fat percentage.

[docs20]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, the classic way is alcohol.

But if you want to do it sober, you gotta pump up your state by approaching a lot immediately and push yourself to be hyper social. After 30 minutes of doing this, and getting a few rejections, you loosen up, your state builds up and you become very social and uninhibited.

You can basically hit the same state as alcohol without drinking, But it requires some balls of steel to do it. Alcohol makes it effortless, which is why people drink.

You could also try micro-dosing psychedelics instead of drinking since it is healthier, and use the mild psychedelic buzz to teach yourself how to loosen up and be sociable. Then try to do it without microdosing.

You can actually learn valuable lessons from being mildly intoxicated, which you can than translate over into sober game.

Socializing is very easy on a mild psychedelic. It's effortless. Your best game will come out on a mild psychedelic.

How micro the dose (basicallu how much)? LSD or shrooms are better for this kind of experiment? I have been thinking about the same lately these days and this post came at the right time

[Phyllis Wagner]

6 minutes ago, narkuser said:

@Phyllis Wagner Hey man can you give us some more background of how you are trying? In what country do you live? How much population in your city? Have you optimized your looks (fitness, style...)? I think you said your problem is your face but that changes a lot with body fat percentage.

I am in the best shape of my life. My face is fine, I'm content with my looks. But I don't look like a male model (nor do I want to) but the reality is that that is what is it takes to get results in online dating.

[narkuser]

mmm I don't think it's necesary to look like a model. Maybe what's needed is top 20% or maybe above average. If you are over 12% body fat(can't see your abs when flexing them) it's usually not good enough.

Why wouldnt you want to look like a model? I do because it would mean easier pussy

Edited February 25, 2021 by narkuser

[Phyllis Wagner]

55 minutes ago, narkuser said:

mmm I don't think it's necesary to look like a model. Maybe what's needed is top 20% or maybe above average. If you are over 12% body fat(can't see your abs when flexing them) it's usually not good enough.

Why wouldnt you want to look like a model? I do because it would mean easier pussy

Sure it would make that part easier, but I am grateful for what I got. I could look way worse, also I am healthy. I feel bad for really short and weird looking guys, but I look fine. Just because society is screwed up I don't feel the need to look like a male model.

[Danioover9000]

@Phyllis Wagner

10 hours ago, Phyllis Wagner said:

I think the whole leeching thing is a very unhealthy way to look at it.

It is just a way for people to connect initially, both parties will then have to make time for a date. It's mutual investment. How is an average guy wanting to meet average women leeching? You just can't expect every guy to go through a huge self transformation journey and become a super social millionaire to get his basic needs met and call him a leech if he can't do it. That's just not how you structure a healthy society.

 

This stuff needs heavy regulation on the grounds alone that it is their business model to make people doubt themselves and contributing to mental health problems across society. It is the equivalent to putting poison into food to make a profit, but instead the poison is put into the minds of people. 

   The leeching is what it is when it comes to trying to create short-term relationships with people, not just in online dating. It's rare when the parties involved don't want anything out of the dating or relationship that benefits just them. The few ways of making it not leeching is the massive failures done by an individual, that the individual's ego is humbled. That's really why other people push you to date face-to-face as often, because those failures eventually get you to chill naturally. besides them having a bias and projecting their experiences onto you.

   I do agree this stuff needs to eventually be regulated, but that opens up other possibilities of regulation not just for online dating, but other aspects of the internet. If you are in a position to go forward with your proposal for regulation, do it. Otherwise, focus up on your actual priorities first, other than chasing tail. If you increase your value in other areas of your life, it will help you with dating life.

   And don't be stupid with cold approaching, because of Covid at the moment, but like I said, after you get vaccinated, try going to local areas, or travel to other areas that facilitate cold approaching easier.

      Also, don't get too obsessive with dating, as that does tend to backfire in other parts of life. When you're done, move on.

Edited February 25, 2021 by Danioover9000

[mmKay]

 

[Hardkill]

OP, Do you have Tinder Plus? Also, how many girls do you swipe right on per day?

[integral]

All this talk about tinder = no understanding of dating. 

[Hello from Russia]

2 hours ago, narkuser said:

mmm I don't think it's necesary to look like a model. Maybe what's needed is top 20% or maybe above average. If you are over 12% body fat(can't see your abs when flexing them) it's usually not good enough.

Why wouldnt you want to look like a model? I do because it would mean easier pussy

Why you jump through so many hoops while you can just go talk to girls!!?

It's like a core principle of branding/marketing. Why go to the place where you have 1000s of people competing with you while you can choose marketing venues where you have almost 0 competition? And it's not even about hitting bars. Hell, there are even online places where you can have close to 0 competition with other guys! And it all happens because every dumb guy just goes to Tinder.

It's the same thing as we see in the service business economy where 90% of people who have no clue just go to platforms such as Upwork, Freelance.com, and so forth and then complain about the competition here. Yes! This is not how you are supposed to market yourself! At all! 

Edited February 25, 2021 by Hello from Russia

[LordFall]

I 100% agree that online dating shouldn't be the only strategy used by men but as a supplement(especially in a pandemic) I'd highly suggest it. Most men absolutely suck at it and get 0 results, I know because I do photography and get paid to help people make their profile better. You don't need to be a model but you need to play the game right.

Here are a few tips for any guy that wants to get better results:

• Pay for it. Put the pride aside, Tinder is a business and they rightly reward their customers. Even the guys I know that are really good-looking, 6'2, jacked, etc pay for it. It's $50-75 a month to invest in your dating life, if you can't afford it then work on finances first. Platinum is mandatory, gold and plus are useless. It puts you at the front of the queue, hands you free matches periodically, and lets you artificially bump your Tinder rating by being able to see everyone that swipes on you. Buy the 20 boost pack for 50$. 
• Tinder works on an ELO rating system. If you right-swipe everyone, it'll assume you're a bot or desperate. You'll only match with other extremely low-value accounts. If you left-swipe on people that right swipe you/are high rated users, your rating will go up. This is where Platinum comes in. 
• Pictures are 90% of it. Good lighting, smiling, inviting, high value, etc. Multiple guides on Youtube for that. In general, no selfies, no blurry/dark/stained pics, no pics where you're smoking/holding guns/doing something outside of social norms. Cast the widest net and narrow down from there. I'd highly recommend going out with friends with a camera/iPhones and HIRING a photographer to take pictures for Tinder/social media. It will literally change your life. 
• The bio should be short and sweet. No listing your interests or what you're looking for. It's called qualifying yourself and should be avoided at all costs. If you're tall, put your height at the top. Put a joke in there or an interesting thing that gives girls an excuse to start a conversation with you. 
• Instagram helps a lot with Tinder. Most of the guys I know all have a cool, inviting-looking IG and transfer girls from Tinder to there ASAP. More personal, safe and you can project who you are faster. 
• Texting should be minimized at all costs. Most girls have a lot of options on Tinder, they literally are having 12 conversations at the same time. Don't be a pen pal, build up value and comfort and ask them out ASAP. The ideal is a walk/coffee/drinks walking distance from your place or your place itself if you have the chance. 
• Big cities are obviously better. If you live in a 10 000 people town, you will run through everyone in a day. As with in-person game, invest in your dating life and move to a good location. I recently moved from Calgary(1M population) to Toronto(3M population) and the results here are about 5x as good. Not only are there more people but more young single people looking to date/have fun in bigger cities. 
• Tinder is the best app overall. Bumble solid 2nd and Hinge if you're 28-40. 95% of good-looking girls will be on these 3, if you lower your standards I hear you can do well on POF/Okcupid and such but I have no experience with those myself. 

This is what I've learned from reviewing maybe 40 guys' profiles, doing shoots with 15 of them, and being roommates with a guy that invites girls over from Tinder 4-5 times a week, every week. I don't have those same results mostly because I don't care too much for it but I sincerely believe that it's realistic for any regular-looking guy and above to go on 3+ dates a week solely from online. You're in luck because the average guy will never put this amount of effort into online dating and if you do, you're guaranteed results. 

Having said that, I'd also highly recommend not relying on it and learning to be social, make friends, and network outside of it but that's a topic for another post. 

Hope that helps. 

 

 

 

 

[Hardkill]

23 hours ago, LordFall said:

I 100% agree that online dating shouldn't be the only strategy used by men but as a supplement(especially in a pandemic) I'd highly suggest it. Most men absolutely suck at it and get 0 results, I know because I do photography and get paid to help people make their profile better. You don't need to be a model but you need to play the game right.

Here are a few tips for any guy that wants to get better results:

• Pay for it. Put the pride aside, Tinder is a business and they rightly reward their customers. Even the guys I know that are really good-looking, 6'2, jacked, etc pay for it. It's $50-75 a month to invest in your dating life, if you can't afford it then work on finances first. Platinum is mandatory, gold and plus are useless. It puts you at the front of the queue, hands you free matches periodically, and lets you artificially bump your Tinder rating by being able to see everyone that swipes on you. Buy the 20 boost pack for 50$. 
• Tinder works on an ELO rating system. If you right-swipe everyone, it'll assume you're a bot or desperate. You'll only match with other extremely low-value accounts. If you left-swipe on people that right swipe you/are high rated users, your rating will go up. This is where Platinum comes in. 
• Pictures are 90% of it. Good lighting, smiling, inviting, high value, etc. Multiple guides on Youtube for that. In general, no selfies, no blurry/dark/stained pics, no pics where you're smoking/holding guns/doing something outside of social norms. Cast the widest net and narrow down from there. I'd highly recommend going out with friends with a camera/iPhones and HIRING a photographer to take pictures for Tinder/social media. It will literally change your life. 
• The bio should be short and sweet. No listing your interests or what you're looking for. It's called qualifying yourself and should be avoided at all costs. If you're tall, put your height at the top. Put a joke in there or an interesting thing that gives girls an excuse to start a conversation with you. 
• Instagram helps a lot with Tinder. Most of the guys I know all have a cool, inviting-looking IG and transfer girls from Tinder to there ASAP. More personal, safe and you can project who you are faster. 
• Texting should be minimized at all costs. Most girls have a lot of options on Tinder, they literally are having 12 conversations at the same time. Don't be a pen pal, build up value and comfort and ask them out ASAP. The ideal is a walk/coffee/drinks walking distance from your place or your place itself if you have the chance. 
• Big cities are obviously better. If you live in a 10 000 people town, you will run through everyone in a day. As with in-person game, invest in your dating life and move to a good location. I recently moved from Calgary(1M population) to Toronto(3M population) and the results here are about 5x as good. Not only are there more people but more young single people looking to date/have fun in bigger cities. 
• Tinder is the best app overall. Bumble solid 2nd and Hinge if you're 28-40. 95% of good-looking girls will be on these 3, if you lower your standards I hear you can do well on POF/Okcupid and such but I have no experience with those myself. 

This is what I've learned from reviewing maybe 40 guys' profiles, doing shoots with 15 of them, and being roommates with a guy that invites girls over from Tinder 4-5 times a week, every week. I don't have those same results mostly because I don't care too much for it but I sincerely believe that it's realistic for any regular-looking guy and above to go on 3+ dates a week solely from online. You're in luck because the average guy will never put this amount of effort into online dating and if you do, you're guaranteed results. 

Having said that, I'd also highly recommend not relying on it and learning to be social, make friends, and network outside of it but that's a topic for another post. 

Hope that helps. 

Totally agree with all of this. This is all solid advice! In fact, Mr. Locario and Miles Cunningham who are not only two of the best dating coaches I know of, but also have been in a professional modeling photography business for several years have given opinions and pieces advice for succeeding with online dating that are very similar to yours @LordFall.

Edited February 26, 2021 by Hardkill

[Danioover9000]

 

On 2/25/2021 at 10:08 PM, LordFall said:

I 100% agree that online dating shouldn't be the only strategy used by men but as a supplement(especially in a pandemic) I'd highly suggest it. Most men absolutely suck at it and get 0 results, I know because I do photography and get paid to help people make their profile better. You don't need to be a model but you need to play the game right.

Here are a few tips for any guy that wants to get better results:

• Pay for it. Put the pride aside, Tinder is a business and they rightly reward their customers. Even the guys I know that are really good-looking, 6'2, jacked, etc pay for it. It's $50-75 a month to invest in your dating life, if you can't afford it then work on finances first. Platinum is mandatory, gold and plus are useless. It puts you at the front of the queue, hands you free matches periodically, and lets you artificially bump your Tinder rating by being able to see everyone that swipes on you. Buy the 20 boost pack for 50$. 
• Tinder works on an ELO rating system. If you right-swipe everyone, it'll assume you're a bot or desperate. You'll only match with other extremely low-value accounts. If you left-swipe on people that right swipe you/are high rated users, your rating will go up. This is where Platinum comes in. 
• Pictures are 90% of it. Good lighting, smiling, inviting, high value, etc. Multiple guides on Youtube for that. In general, no selfies, no blurry/dark/stained pics, no pics where you're smoking/holding guns/doing something outside of social norms. Cast the widest net and narrow down from there. I'd highly recommend going out with friends with a camera/iPhones and HIRING a photographer to take pictures for Tinder/social media. It will literally change your life. 
• The bio should be short and sweet. No listing your interests or what you're looking for. It's called qualifying yourself and should be avoided at all costs. If you're tall, put your height at the top. Put a joke in there or an interesting thing that gives girls an excuse to start a conversation with you. 
• Instagram helps a lot with Tinder. Most of the guys I know all have a cool, inviting-looking IG and transfer girls from Tinder to there ASAP. More personal, safe and you can project who you are faster. 
• Texting should be minimized at all costs. Most girls have a lot of options on Tinder, they literally are having 12 conversations at the same time. Don't be a pen pal, build up value and comfort and ask them out ASAP. The ideal is a walk/coffee/drinks walking distance from your place or your place itself if you have the chance. 
• Big cities are obviously better. If you live in a 10 000 people town, you will run through everyone in a day. As with in-person game, invest in your dating life and move to a good location. I recently moved from Calgary(1M population) to Toronto(3M population) and the results here are about 5x as good. Not only are there more people but more young single people looking to date/have fun in bigger cities. 
• Tinder is the best app overall. Bumble solid 2nd and Hinge if you're 28-40. 95% of good-looking girls will be on these 3, if you lower your standards I hear you can do well on POF/Okcupid and such but I have no experience with those myself. 

This is what I've learned from reviewing maybe 40 guys' profiles, doing shoots with 15 of them, and being roommates with a guy that invites girls over from Tinder 4-5 times a week, every week. I don't have those same results mostly because I don't care too much for it but I sincerely believe that it's realistic for any regular-looking guy and above to go on 3+ dates a week solely from online. You're in luck because the average guy will never put this amount of effort into online dating and if you do, you're guaranteed results. 

Having said that, I'd also highly recommend not relying on it and learning to be social, make friends, and network outside of it but that's a topic for another post. 

Hope that helps. 

 

 

 

 

   This is what it looks like when you do online dating correctly. Great advice.

[zeroISinfinity]

Ain't no my thing. 

Go out socialize, have friends. 

Go out hit clubs, parties whatever and pussy always comes. 

If you can't talk with girl face to face no amount of online skills will help ya out. 

 

[zeroISinfinity]

One paradox of online and actual and maybe tip is that women are not really interested or care that much what are you going  to say. Pick up lines and all that is BS. So it's last thing, they are picking up everything else. 

In actuality you are going to be scanned but online you can't be, so... 

Edited February 27, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[zeroISinfinity]

Maybe I should join too. 

What do I need? Pro photos, have friend who is professional photographer and has studio. 

Some adventorous story in my profile. 

Salute to time waste. 

Most of the girls there are ones who can't find boyfriend by normal means, have some psychological/health problems or are collecting followers for their instagram accounts. 

Very small percentage can be just shy (that just lack social skills) normal girls whom you would want. 

If it's just about sex I would hire prostitute and "express myself" freely without BSing. 

[integral]

Compatibility Before Photos? A New Dating App Takes A Personality-First Approach To Online Dating

[Arcangelo]

16 hours ago, zeroISinfinity said:

If it's just about sex I would hire prostitute

On 2/25/2021 at 11:57 AM, Phyllis Wagner said:

Arcangelo says: You can't trust a prostitute, you can't kiss a prostitute. Sex with a prostitute is not sex is masturbating with a vagina.

[PigeonPark]

When a girl doesn’t respond to your texts, does this mean she is playing hard to get or is she not interested?