Online Dating driving me NUTS

[integral]

@Phyllis Wagner @Karmadhi This is because you guys are seeking orange women. Green women is the target here. Stop fighting the game, learn to play it. 

[ertopolice]

@Phyllis Wagner

Female here

I feel the same about the options we have now to date/meet new people. it's all about the dating app or social networks

I tried them for a while but realized that you have to show urself or ur cool lifestyle to get any results. I train for years, got a beautiful body tbh and sorry but i think i am above average in looks than most girls on tinder or even on instagram. They work on their pictures, edit them, use tons of make up....BUT are soon below average in real person. I lack of those tricks to use on apps...so i cannot "compete"..and i dislike showing so fake. 

I've tested men on how they change their behavior when they see u got a six pack or an athlete body but all the mental, intellectual or spiritual stuff get overlooked beforehand...

I fight against joining the crowd and get a fancy profile..but otherwise i am lost in meeting new people

I tried cold approach and yes..men talk to me and all but during these times we lack of social interactions..

 

[Karmadhi]

@integral Yeah stop crying to government for regulations, learn the market and compete with the big monopolies. Free markets for everyone. Notice the double standards here, market regulations are ok. Online dating regulations are not.

Why so? They are both equally ruthless and will screw up most people

[integral]

@Karmadhi So the plan instead of playing the game is to change the system to get laid? Does this sound like a reasonable strategy?

Seems to be 2 differed conversation, 1) identify flaws in the system and explore ways to move towards change. 2) Realistic strategies to play the game.  

The hard truth here is your not conscious enough to succeed. Once the interconnected systems are fully revealed it can be practiced and played like any instrument. 

Blaming the system is a failure to understand it.  

Edited February 24, 2021 by integral

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

I am sure he put more effort than most people do so you cannot say he is leeching off anything.

Still leeching when you expecr quality sex from clicking some buttons.

This values sex too low. Sex is worth way more than that.

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura He never said quality sex. He said no matches, that' it. Do not make assumptions regarding whether he wanted sex from anyone or sex from a hot girl. Plus online dating these days has become the most popular way to meet partners unfortunately, you cannot treat it with such a basic black and white thinking. Where is the nuance? It is not like he was not trying you know. 

Half the fucking in the world these days is done by pressing a few buttons.  It is no longer a weird side off thing that only lazy nerds did. Now it is more normal to use Tinder than meet a girl in a club, that is how popular it has become. It needs serious attention otherwise we will have dozens of mass shootings done by frustrated people that cannot get laid

Edited February 24, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Danioover9000]

@Phyllis Wagner

9 hours ago, Phyllis Wagner said:

I work in a male-only field, I don't have many female friends - that was my situation before covid. Basically minimal chances to meet anyone. Now I am stuck in my home for over a year now and I barely can meet my normal friends. I don't see myself meeting anyone outside of online dating at this point.

 So I got on Tinder and I must have remade my account around 15 times now, and always get the same result: zero matches.

I take advice from friends about the profile, I looked up tutorial on  how to take and edit good pictures of yourself. I often take 100 pictures just to select one, invest money to test my photos out on photofeeler. I overhaul my profile for the 10th time and always get let down. I really am motivated to optimize my results but at some point it is getting ridiculous. It doesn't surprise me at all if people get body dysmorphia from this kind of stuff.

I am normally not a narcissistic person at all, but if you can't get around online dating you have to adapt to it or you won't see result - at least that's how I think, that this is the practical reality of it. I don't enjoy this at all, I think Tinder as a concept is awful and shallow. I really hate that this is what you have to deal with nowadays.

If I am honest I think there should be some government regulation around these kind of apps, if this is how the majority of people date nowadays you simply can't give that kind of power to corporations that are  self biased and can't have your best interests in mind.

   As soon as you get vaccinated, start doing cold approaches, pretend to like the process, face-to-face. It sounds like you've done all you can with online dating. Maybe start with another website than tinder so you're not limited in online dating options, but when possible do cold approach as soon as it's safe to do so.

   Don't rely on a stranger's view of your way of dating.

[Hello from Russia]

Why Tinder, anyways? It is like the least consciousness dating network out here, when there are actually way better ones where you also get more people caring about deeper things. You're basically going to the least consciousness thing and expect people to behave differently

Edited February 24, 2021 by Hello from Russia

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura He never said quality sex. He said no matches, that' it.

You can always get matches. It's always a function of quality.

Quote

Do not make assumptions regarding whether he wanted sex from anyone or sex from a hot girl.

I absolutely will make that assumption. Don't bullshit us. Sex is all about maximizing survival value. You will only have sex with those people who match your minimum desired level of quality.

Quote

Half the fucking in the world these days is done by pressing a few buttons.  It is no longer a weird side off thing that only lazy nerds did. Now it is more normal to use Tinder than meet a girl in a club, that is how popular it has become.

That means you will have to work even harder to get laid.

What are you not understanding is that sexual value is a finite resource. If you want it, you will have to compete for it. Competition requires standing out from everyone else. Tinder does not allow you to do that unless you are exceptionally physically attractive.

When you expect lots of sexual value for a few button clicks, just like every other fool, you end up getting nothing.

Tinder's entire business model is to monetize lazy fools who want to leech sexual value. Tinder is basically a get-rich-quick-scheme trap with sex as the bait. It is like those rigged ring-toss games at the carnival. It's made for suckers. Tinder has fooled you into thinking that is the proper way to find a quality mate. Which of course is the opposite of what's true.

[integral]

@Phyllis Wagner Use a site that has a matching system involving questions. Get better results... 

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Tinder's entire business model is to monetize lazy fools who want to leech sexual value. Tinder is basically a get-rich-quick-scheme trap with sex as the bait. It is like those rigged ring-toss games at the carnival. It's made for suckers. Tinder has fooled you into thinking that is the proper way to find a quality mate. Which of course is the opposite of what's true

I do not even use Tinder personally. I am just stating simple facts. Online dating has increased in popularity and will continue to do so. It is the byproduct of advancement of technology. Like it or dislike it is is the future. The number of couples that met online has increased every year and will continue to do so. It may be in principle a quick rich scheme but it has managed to slowly become one of the most popular methods to date. I may choose not to use it personally but it will not change the fact that it is the future. Therefore it needs to be regulated. If you do not regulate it it will create problems just like not regulating any sort of market creates problem. I am sure pyramid schemes and other stupid get quick rich schemes are not even allowed yet alone regulated. You cannot be a libertarian for this stuff anymore than for other markets.

You heavily advocate pick up, and meeting people in person and I highly agree and support those notions. However the future is online dating more and more as the involvement of people in technology increases. Therefore some regulation is needed otherwise the results will not be pleasant. You said that getting rid of social security would create a world full of homeless people that are too foolish and irresponsible to save some money during their working lives and that is horrible. The government should take care and support them even though they are technically being foolish. Well i do not think a world full of frustrated teenagers that cannot get laid because they are too foolish to approach 1000 girls is any better, i do not think  a place with angry misogynistic self biased people that do mass shootings is any better. So some basic government regulation is needed. It can be done in a way to reduce the problem while allowing higher value people to more successful just like our markets today allow people to still become millionaires while keeping some basic safety net for the poor, especially this is the case in Western European countries.

I am not saying to regulate basic gender dynamics, just online dating which does not play fair, just plays for basic stage orange profit. In the real world things can go as usual.

 

Edited February 25, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Haloman]

The truth is that religion and monogamy was invented so lower class mates wouldn't kill top tier guys for not getting laid and it was beneficial for societies or tribes survival. Women enjoy competition for high status men and those men prefer not share women if it don't results in someone cutting their throat. Nowadays thanks to technology for the first time in human history high status man are able not to share women with lower class men without being killed.

[Cuddy5269]

I tried three of those apps where you take your picture and it tells you how good looking you are. One said I was a 4, another said I was an 8, and the last one i tried said i was a 9. I guess I'm either pretty good looking or really ugly Lol ?. Either way I'm working on my personality and becoming a higher quality man. 

[Arcangelo]

I agree that dating apps are the future.

It's a sad future.

Check these videos:

 

This one is good

So women are having sex with the top 1% - 5%? This is what mother nature wanted: survival of the strongest, fittest and better looking. If you are not having sex is because you don't deserve it.

 

It's evolution baby!

 

[Phyllis Wagner]

I absolutely do not try to "leech" sex from hot girls.

I don't even swipe girls that look like the Instagram-famous-type.

I just swipe average women. 30+ and with kids is no problem for me either.

[LordFall]

@Phyllis Wagner If you want, send me a copy of your profile and I'll let you know honestly what you should do. I'm a photographer and I've made money helping people better their profile. My friend has one of the best profiles in Canada with like 3500 matches. 

Leo is right, it always pays off to do the work and meet people in person. But if you want pure sex(I can't say I'm sure it's good for you) online is a great way to do that. 

[Leo Gura]

30 minutes ago, Phyllis Wagner said:

I absolutely do not try to "leech" sex from hot girls.

I don't even swipe girls that look like the Instagram-famous-type.

I just swipe average women. 30+ and with kids is no problem for me either.

It's still leeching. You want sex for swiping. Just think of how absurd that is.

[Phyllis Wagner]

@Leo Gura Imagine this future. in a decade or two capitalism is at an all-time-high. Narcissism is high and social skills are getting worse in the young generation. It is not socially acceptable to approach people in public anymore. The match group buys out every emerging online dating platform and merges it into Tinder - this is now the "traditional" way of meeting partners, and the government endorses it.

What would your advice for young people look like in a hypothetical future like this?

Edited February 25, 2021 by Phyllis Wagner

[Preety_India]

Leeching 

Leeching 

Leeching 

Leeching 

 

[Leo Gura]

55 minutes ago, Phyllis Wagner said:

@Leo Gura  It is not socially acceptable to approach people in public anymore.

It never really has been.

Quote

The match group buys out every emerging online dating platform and merges it into Tinder

I thought this already happened?

Quote

this is now the "traditional" way of meeting partners, and the government endorses it.

What would your advice for young people look like in a hypothetical future like this?

Go talk to girls and stop making excuses.