Enlightenment Experience?

[Jani]

Im really tired now because I only slept for 3 hours because of what happened. Ok so a little bit background first. I've been onto self-development for 2 years and into daily meditation for 6 months. Yesterday before I went to sleep I decided to sit down for a while to calm myself down. So I sat. After a while of sitting there I started hyper-focusing into my experience and started doing self-inquiry. It was a really intense self inquiry and I felt more focused than ever, until this feeling of ...what word would be right to describe it I don't even know, expanding? a feeling of expanding washed over me and I was starting to panic out. My heart started to beat faster and faster and it felt as if it was gonna explode at any fucking moment, I also started breathing heavily and loud. I tried to relax myself and be open to the experience until I opened my eyes and totally freaked out. I went back into my room and sat on my bed. All these reactions were happening in a weird manner at the same time, I was laughing for a few seconds, then I was crying for a few seconds, then nothing for a few seconds then again mixture of laughing and crying, that kept on happening for a while, then my big brother woke up who temporarily lives in my room due to his financial issues. He woke up and tried to comfort me but he was really half asleep while asking those questions such as "are you ok" and such. Then after like half a minute or so I can't really say how long I sat there, anyhow I decided to go back to sit on the couch where this experience took place. So I opened the door of my room to exit into the living room and as I did so, I got super cold like in an instant and full terror washed over me again that made me turn instant 180 back into my room and then I started shaking. Hell, I was shaking nonstop for like half an hour combined with laughter/crying/sobbing and heavy breathing. I couldn't get barely any sleep during that night I was too afraid to sleep, I was too afraid to walk through the living room to use bathroom. 

So tl;dr: I fucking freaked out and maybe some advice would be super nice on how to go on about this..

Have a nice day everyone and thanks for taking the time to read this! 

[ajasatya]

take a break from meditation/self-inquiry and recover. come back when you're stable. these things can happen.

[Sepehr_88]

check out the last video that Leo put online. its about the negative side of meditation. I think you will find your answers in that video

 

[Jani]

10 minutes ago, Sepehr_88 said:

check out the last video that Leo put online. its about the negative side of meditation. I think you will find your answers in that video

 

I have watched it. The experience was just so fucking horrifying but still im grateful that it happened. I feel like im alot more aware of my emotions/thoughts and actions and can more fully feel my body consciously right now. Somehow I appreciate that it happened although it was the scariest and most intense experience I've ever come across in my life. I don't claim to know what the heck was going on but I won't classify it as a negative side of meditation. Or maybe it was something Leo was talking about, I don't know, that's why I posted this here to get some insight from people who have probably gone through the same. Im still recovering from it and slightly confused, but I know I'll have to go for it again but with more preparation.

And to add it here, the experience was like the result of 5 mins of self inquiry.