Convincing a partner/spouse who is scared psychedelics will make you go crazy?

[Yarco]

I brought up the topic of me doing psychedelics (specifically mushrooms) with my partner recently. Her main objection is that she's worried it will cause me to have a psychotic break.

She's currently pregnant and I would like to get the experience before we have a kid and more responsibilities, as it'll be harder to find the time.

I understand her concerns... that I'll have a mental break and end up in a psych ward, potentially leaving her to take care of all responsibilities by herself for weeks. Or I could hallucinate something scary while high and try to hurt her while in that state. I've never done anything except small amounts of THC oil and I don't know how I will react to psychedelics.

I feel like she has justified concerns. There is a possibility I could go totally crazy from a bad trip. I can minimize the chances with meditation experience, good set/setting, etc but there's still a non-zero risk that taking them might trigger some latent schizophrenic tendencies within me that can't be turned off. I get that it's coming from a place of caring, that to her it seems like an unnecessary risk to my safety, the security of our family, etc.

I've told her how important it is to me, how it'll give me an experience that I might not be able to attain otherwise even with a decade of hardcore meditation. She is MAYBE okay with me doing psychedelics just one time. But adamant about me not making it a regular thing, even a couple of times per year. The thing is I'm totally inexperienced and it doesn't feel responsible to me to jump into an all-or-nothing 5 gram shroom trip. If anything has a risk of fucking me up it's that. I'd rather get my feet wet with 0.5 or 1 gram before going totally off the deep end.

Has anyone else been in a similar position with a spouse, and how did you get them on board?

Bonus question... if you could only do one shroom trip as the only psychedelic experience of your life, what's the ideal dosage to maximize enlightenment/insights? Not under-doing it so all you get is some cool visual effects, but also not over-doing it and being totally overwhelmed. (Not sure if it's possible to experience ego death without being overwhelmed.)

Edited February 21, 2021 by Yarco

[James123]

5 hours ago, Yarco said:

She's currently pregnant 

DON’T DO IT!!! Specially if she is pregnant. 

6 hours ago, Yarco said:

I understand her concerns... that I'll have a mental break and end up in a psych ward, potentially leaving her to take care of all responsibilities by herself for weeks.

DON’T DO IT! 

5 hours ago, Yarco said:

as anyone else been in a similar position with a spouse, and how did you get them on board?

This is not something you can force on others. Everyone must be do it willingly. Everyone walks in the path alone.  DO NOT EVER FORCE ANYONE. 

[vladorion]

If you have someone there who's worried about you, things might not go well.

[Leo Gura]

Your baby is gonna come out with DMT running through his vein

[Nahm]

10 hours ago, Yarco said:

I brought up the topic of me doing psychedelics (specifically mushrooms) with my partner recently. Her main objection is that she's worried it will cause me to have a psychotic break.

Is this a concern of yours also, or only of hers? 

Do you have a history of this? 

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She's currently pregnant and I would like to get the experience before we have a kid and more responsibilities, as it'll be harder to find the time.

I favor exploring freely, unfettered, and unconditionally. Imo, even to hold the perspective / belief that the future, with more responsibilities, equates to being harder & not having enough time, is already a needless, senseless limitation upon you & your path. In the same sense the thought of ‘other’ is already an act of violence, such a view of self limitation is already the creating of discordance. 

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I understand her concerns... that I'll have a mental break and end up in a psych ward, potentially leaving her to take care of all responsibilities by herself for weeks. Or I could hallucinate something scary while high and try to hurt her while in that state. I've never done anything except small amounts of THC oil and I don't know how I will react to psychedelics.

If you do decide to take a trip, don’t trip with her, at least initially. You’d be putting yourself in a potential tug of war position between clinging to identity, and letting go and feeling the true nature. Go be alone, not in the same house. It can be difficult to let go, and newbies often cling, calling family or 911. If your wife is there, there’s a good chance you’ll cling, ruin your trip experience, and then potentially regret it, or discolor future potential trips with discouragement. Start with very small amounts like .5 or 1g, make tea rather than eating the mushrooms, and let go. 

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I feel like she has justified concerns. There is a possibility I could go totally crazy from a bad trip. I can minimize the chances with meditation experience, good set/setting, etc but there's still a non-zero risk that taking them might trigger some latent schizophrenic tendencies within me that can't be turned off. I get that it's coming from a place of caring, that to her it seems like an unnecessary risk to my safety, the security of our family, etc.

Meditation is for meditation’s sake.  Why are you so focused on having a bad experience? Again, wondering, is this based on your experience, or maybe your genetics, or only her concern?

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I've told her how important it is to me, how it'll give me an experience that I might not be able to attain otherwise even with a decade of hardcore meditation.

Attaining is the perspective of the ‘separate self’. Holding meditation in mind as a means to an end, attaining a result or change, is already self defeating thinking, and missing the entire ‘point’ or ‘boat’ so to speak. The desire to attain is the ignoring of the conditions current held, upon the ever present and abundant true nature.  

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She is MAYBE okay with me doing psychedelics just one time. But adamant about me not making it a regular thing, even a couple of times per year. The thing is I'm totally inexperienced and it doesn't feel responsible to me to jump into an all-or-nothing 5 gram shroom trip. If anything has a risk of fucking me up it's that. I'd rather get my feet wet with 0.5 or 1 gram before going totally off the deep end.

Has anyone else been in a similar position with a spouse, and how did you get them on board?

Yes, start small. Has she experience with meditation, psychedelics? Wondering why you hold her advice in such high regard. I think you are projecting your own fears and discordant thoughts onto her. It’s better to see this now and sort through the nuance, than to let these misunderstandings grow, and only to be addressed on the trip. That does not make for a great trip. 

Married for over twenty years, and with three kids, I could say I’ve ‘been in that position’. Yet, I have never experienced or been in the position as you describe, that of considering my path is up to someone else. I’ve found the opposite approach to be tried and true. And though you might not understand this quite yet, so has my wife. Meditation, not the ‘for attainment’ wasting of your time you speak of, but letting go and being, along with solo retreats / trips, have been the single most beneficial thing I’ve done for my family. If you have specific questions in that regard and I can be helpful, let me know. Pm anytime if you like. 

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Bonus question... if you could only do one shroom trip as the only psychedelic experience of your life, what's the ideal dosage to maximize enlightenment/insights? Not under-doing it so all you get is some cool visual effects, but also not over-doing it and being totally overwhelmed. (Not sure if it's possible to experience ego death without being overwhelmed.)

You’re not doing yourself any service in this way of thinking... “maximizing enlightenment”, similar to the “attainment” thinking in regard to meditation. Take pause and notice you’re using words which have no meaning. You literally don’t know what you’re talking about, and this is acting as a veil of many things which you could be attentive to, which would make for wonderful trip experiences.

Using the emotional scale & understanding emotions, the ‘move’ from overwhelmed through to love, appreciation, empowerment & freedom becomes intrinsic & effortless, and is by far the single best ‘preparation’ for a trip. Waiting to see if you are overwhelmed, rather than understanding & working this out prior to the trip, makes for a rougher trip, and much more relevantly, a rough life, marriage, and fatherhood. 

[Loving Radiance]

12 hours ago, Yarco said:

There is a possibility I could go totally crazy from a bad trip.

I can minimize the chances with meditation experience, good set/setting, etc

but there's still a non-zero risk that taking them might trigger some latent schizophrenic tendencies within me that can't be turned off.

There is a possibility you could get a permanent injury from driving the motorcycle in your free time.

You can minimize the chances with getting driving lessons, wearing a safety gear, having reached an age with mental capacity for responsible driving, etc

but there's still a non-zero risk that driving a motorcycle might cause an injury in your spine that will affect you for the rest of your life.

 

In addition:

If you have a family history of drunk drivers, you better stay away from the motorcycle (although it would work if you have no alcohol habit).

If you have a family history of mental illness, you better stay away from the psychedelics.

Edited February 21, 2021 by Loving Radiance

[TheSomeBody]

statisticly speaking, getting psychosis on psycadelics is less than getting psychosis without it

[wavydude]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

In the same sense the thought of ‘other’ is already an act of violence, such a view of self limitation is already the creating of discordance.

This sentence hit a cord within me. I mean it  makes sense but how you gonna relate to "others" if you don't think of them as others.. I'm kinda responding to "your" post 

[Nahm]

@wavydude

Relating is overrated. Truth is just too damn Good. “Others” are The Truth as well. 

[AtheisticNonduality]

Highly unlikely you have schizophrenia.

[Username]

Her fear is irrational. Probably she doesn't have any knowledge about psychodelics, let alone any first hand experience with them. You aren't going to talk her out of fear.

Best you can do is to find a trip sitter so she will feel better about it.

[Leo Gura]

It is not wise to try to convince someone who is scared of psychedelics to take them. Such a person is clearly not mature enough and is likely to spiral into a bad trip and then blame it on you to boot.

[universe]

20 hours ago, Yarco said:

Bonus question... if you could only do one shroom trip as the only psychedelic experience of your life, what's the ideal dosage to maximize enlightenment/insights? Not under-doing it so all you get is some cool visual effects, but also not over-doing it and being totally overwhelmed. (Not sure if it's possible to experience ego death without being overwhelmed.)

You don't need an overwhelming dose! Trip setting and what you do while your tripping are 90% of the way there.

If you are mentally healthy you will be fine. Just take it at a friends place or better find a group of people who are doing psychedelic "retreats" for a day. Plan one day for tripping and the next day for integration/alone time.

Your spouse probably is just uncertain because you are uncertain.

[Moksha]

Psychedelics are not mandatory to wake up. For some people, it can be a catalyst, but necessary? Not even close. When in a precarious situation, like preparing to have a child, why take unnecessary risks? As a new father, stable love and security is the best you can offer your child. Just my opinion, as a father of two ?

[Heart of Space]

I'm shocked that you would consider giving a pregnant person a psychedelic.  Not only would the effects that the chemical would have on a developing baby be unknown, the potential health complications from stress you could cause by them having a potentially bad trip could be not good at all.  

If I were a mod I'd ban you from the forum for being so dumb.  

 

Edited February 22, 2021 by Heart of Space

[GreenWoods]

Guys,  @Yarco is not talking about he + his spouse taking psychedelics. Only he intends to take psychedelics while his spouse is his trip sitter.

The reason for his post is that his spouse doesn't want him to take psychedelics.

 

@Yarco as it has already been mentioned, it might be better not to have your spouse as trip sitter. It would put too much pressure on you during the trip, which will make a bad trip more likely. A good friend is better.

On 2/21/2021 at 3:35 AM, Yarco said:

I've told her how important it is to me, how it'll give me an experience that I might not be able to attain otherwise even with a decade of hardcore meditation. 

If you do the right practices consistently for 0.5-3 years, you can achieve similar states like what you could achieve on a first moderate psychedelic trip. So don't worry about it being your only shot. Go for Shamanic breathing  . And self inquiry is a must no matter what. And you can add some dark room retreats. If you are a very serious practitioner, you could consider sleep yoga. That could possibly completely replace psychedelics.

Edited February 22, 2021 by GreenWoods

[StarStruck]

What you focus on will become bigger, so if your spouse is in front of you over-analyzing if you are going crazy or not, you will go crazy.

But do you need a trip sitter though? Just lock yourself in a room and give her the keys.

[GreenWoods]

3 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Just lock yourself in a room and give her the keys.

If she is close and gets the slightest worry, she might call for an ambulance before he even took the psychedelics lol.

Better lock her away instead

[GreenWoods]

@Yarco before risking a heroic dose, go for a substance without tolerance like 5-MeO-DMT and do a tripping retreat. That way you can gradually and safely increase dosage.

Tell your spouse it's safer that way. And that you will do it only once (the retreat).

Edited February 22, 2021 by GreenWoods

[StarStruck]

19 minutes ago, GreenWoods said:

If she is close and gets the slightest worry, she might call for an ambulance before he even took the psychedelics lol.

Better lock her away instead

I'm highly sensitive during trips. I once smoked some weed with a girl and she was over-analyzing me and it was just awful. I can't imagine taking LSD or something with such people.