Difference between ego and personality/preferences

[soos_mite_ah]

I have been contemplating this lately. I'm probably talking out of my ass here but bear with me.

 On one hand, personality and preferences are ego because they aren't inherent to consciousness. Personality and preferences seem inherent to who we are often because they formed earlier than we are capable of remembering (like really early childhood) but a change in background, biology, etc can be enough to create a completely different person. Both personality and preferences have to do with our survival mechanisms based on what we found worked for us by chance. Personality and preferences aren't who we are and are illusion. You have to peel those back and deconstruct them in order to get to the core or who you are which is infinite consciousness.

On the other hand, personality and preferences can be a function of form rather than ego. You can have your preferences and inclinations but not identify with them strongly. For instance, I might be an extrovert who prefers to live my life a certain way but I am open minded to the notion of people being different and living life in a totally different, or even opposite way without any judgement on my part. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can have something and honor it but not egoically identify with it. For example, you can have a nice car that you like and take care of it and its needs but not be attached to it or be upset if suddenly that nice car wasn't there anymore or got replaced with a different car. I guess you can see your personality and preferences in that way. 

If you try to expand your sense of self by deconstructing what you identify with, would your personality and preferences become more fluid? Will they cease to exist at all? Or will they still be there but it isn't something that you actively defend or get irritated about when people don't share the same view as you? 

[lmfao]

1 hour ago, soos_mite_ah said:

On one hand, personality and preferences are ego because they aren't inherent to consciousness.
...
On the other hand, personality and preferences can be a function of form rather than ego.

Good breakdown.

There can be a facet to Truth where the Truth changes nothing about your situation and your problems. You get a few substantive enlightenment experiences, enlightenment insights, but you still have the same neuroses and problems to deal with. 

"Whatever is true was already true, so nothing changes". Whilst that might vaguely make sense intellectually, once you experience it that quote makes a lot of sense.

1 hour ago, soos_mite_ah said:

If you try to expand your sense of self by deconstructing what you identify with, would your personality and preferences become more fluid? Will they cease to exist at all? Or will they still be there but it isn't something that you actively defend or get irritated about when people don't share the same view as you? 

Only one way to find out. If I look at enlightened folk talk they all have a personality and etc. And this embodiment into "high consciousness" might change them all differently. 

Plenty of woke people with shadows and the such. It's not a very cut and dry thing. 

Maybe it's like cleaning a really dirty diamond. It's was a diamond before and after. 

Edited February 20, 2021 by lmfao

[Gesundheit]

I'm 24 years old, and I have changed radically quite a few times during the past 10 years.

When I was 14, I used to memorize geometry because I didn't understand it at all. Seriously, I used to cram for the exams without understanding shit. Now I can't memorize as much, but I can understand what very few humans can. So that's a radical shift between intellect and intuition.

As well, I was Muslim, and now I'm, well, ehm, kinda enlightened.

During the past few months alone, I was able to shift my relationship with love from attached to detached. I got rid of my neediness.

Within the past 5 years, I have moved up from Blue straight to Green, and almost Yellow, with some Orange shadow that I'm still working on.

My MBTI was never the same with each test I did. So, I finally got the insight that I am much bigger than a model or a concept to define me.

The only, or perhaps the most static thing that I've found is sexuality. I'm straight, and that didn't change even a little bit, even though I was slightly homophobic, it turns out that it's just a shadow aspect of my psyche that needed integration through shadow work. Now I'm neutral about homosexual people, and that didn't take anything of my masculinity.

These are just a few examples right off the top of my head. Osho said in this article I was reading today: https://www.osho.com/osho-online-library/osho-talks/individuality-relationships-unique-0b64c704-387?p=719804976554a4661633dd07e631edd1 (which was posted by another member on the politics section) that awake people are not like asleep people because they cannot be defined because they are unlimited, and I agree with him, as I am somewhat awake.

[soos_mite_ah]

1 hour ago, lmfao said:

Only one way to find out. If I look at enlightened folk talk they all have a personality and etc. And this embodiment into "high consciousness" might change them all differently. 

I do have experience in this

3 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Would your personality and preferences become more fluid? Will they cease to exist at all? 

When I was like 12 I really identified with being the emo kid who likes anime. It seems rather silly to me now that I have grown past it but the type of music and the type of shows I watched back then felt like my identity. My music preferences have become more fluid and expanded past a narrow specific genre. My preferences when it came to shows just ceased to exist at all. I don't mind watching movies and TV but it's rare that I would binge watch something or that I would latch on to it by identifying it. 

3 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Or will they still be there but it isn't something that you actively defend or get irritated about when people don't share the same view as you? 

When I first started college, I used to get really easily triggered when it came to any type of bigotry. I go to a rather conservative university where most of the student body identify as conservative. There is a very small percentage of liberals and leftists like myself. After a year or so of hanging out with a more conservative crowd, even though my opinions haven't changed, I can see where people are coming from and understand both logically and emotionally what led people to have the thoughts that they hold. As a result, I'm not super judgmental or triggered any more however I do prefer to keep my distance from certain people to avoid unhealthy and limiting mindsets. 

Those are the most simple, clear cut examples I can think of from my life to illustrate what I'm talking about.

[soos_mite_ah]

6 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

These are just a few examples right off the top of my head. Osho said in this article I was reading today: https://www.osho.com/osho-online-library/osho-talks/individuality-relationships-unique-0b64c704-387?p=719804976554a4661633dd07e631edd1 (which was posted by another member on the politics section) that awake people are not like asleep people because they cannot be defined because they are unlimited, and I agree with him, as I am somewhat awake.

Interesting read. Though I would have to disagree with some bits. Individually, yes we are all unique because we are a different cocktail of biological, social factors as well as life experiences. The way I see it, sociology is good at breaking down collective egos an identifying patterns in the big picture. The limitation of that is that it can fall into the trap of painting people with a simplistic, broad stroke that waters down individuality (this is where I agree with in the article).  Psychology on the other hand is good at breaking down individual egos and using individuals as separate case studies. The limitation of this lens is that it doesn't look at the big picture, often system factors of a behavior so next thing you know you have your Jordan Peterson types who are so individualistic in their world view to where it becomes short sided. 

11 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

The only, or perhaps the most static thing that I've found is sexuality. I'm straight, and that didn't change even a little bit, even though I was slightly homophobic, it turns out that it's just a shadow aspect of my psyche that needed integration through shadow work. Now I'm neutral about homosexual people, and that didn't take anything of my masculinity.

Sexuality can be pretty fluid for some individuals. I don't have much personal experience with that but I know people who do. I think you dealing with your internalized homophobia is an example of dealing with the egoic attachment to your orientation and desire to be masculine but still acknowledging the heterosexual form/ preference you have. 

[soos_mite_ah]

Just had a thought that was relevant to this thread.

All forms are an illusion and part of the ego because everything is one from a nondual perspective. However, nonduality still contains duality. Consciousness explores duality and separation through different forms. You can honor those forms without having the ego latch on to them. In fact, paradoxically, to honor these different forms also requires you to not latch on to any one of them because latching on to one thing prevents you from exploring other things. It's ok to have preferences so long you know they aren't absolute and applicable to everyone or thing.

[hyruga]

Ego is more of an inner thing. It is like the image you hold of yourself. 

Your personality is what's projected out. 

Your preferences is dictacted by your circumstances. If you are a rich person, you can choose between a Ferrari or Lamborghini. 

All three of course will intertwined and will influence one another over time.

One also may need to dissolve your ego by reading this.

 

[soos_mite_ah]

18 minutes ago, hyruga said:

Ego is more of an inner thing. It is like the image you hold of yourself. 

Your personality is what's projected out. 

Your preferences is dictacted by your circumstances. If you are a rich person, you can choose between a Ferrari or Lamborghini. 

I mean in order understand what is being projected out, wouldn't you automatically have an image of yourself?  Like if you notice yourself having a dry sense of humor, wouldn't you then have an image of yourself having a dry sense of humor? Would a lack of ego or image or yourself imply that you aren't aware of what you're projecting out? That doesn't make sense because typically to be more self aware you need to have less ego. I'm sorry if I'm missing your point completely but I'm confused 

Also, I guess the reason why I lumped personality and preference together is because even though preference can be a whole thing of it's own, personality is almost like how you prefer to act. If you identify as an introverted personality type, it is likely that you will prefer small groups and more solitude. 

[caspex]

I have done some experiments on my own, and from what I have observed, you can completely change 'who you are' and your personality to a point you don't feel like the 'former you'. It's very strange and you feel like a whole new person. And to be able to do this, one needs little to no attachment to their personality. So fluidity. This also allows a personality to change and grow more often and easily take criticism. Personality and preferences aren't any separate object, but rather behavior that you label. 

However, the ego is a entirely different matter. It is much more rooted. And it is important one knows difference between personality and the ego. When I changed my personality, it happened with ego as the background. A different personality is just identification with different things. And to fully understand what I am talking about, you gotta delve deep yourself and see what makes you, you. Without the idea of "I am infinite conciousness' and all that in your mind. 

Ego is like the whole sense of 'you' while personality is just different ways of expressing that sense of 'you'.

 

more on ego I wrote here

 

[Setzer901]

@soos_mite_ah

There's the Self, the primary part of you that is complete. The Self is Calm, Loving, Compassionate, Grounded, etc. The Self is who You Are, the core of you that lies behind all ego/personalities (I call them parts). These parts develop when you are young (you can still develop parts when older). 

There is the Funny Part, Sad Part, Intelligent Part, Lonely Part, The Awkward Part, etc.

For eg, The Funny Part arises in social situations, The Sad Part activates when someone is mean to you, The Lonely Part activates when you feel all alone. The Awkward Part is shy and doesn't like social situations. 

If you haven't healed yourself, you tend to identify more with these parts. For eg, in a social situation, you will identify strongly with a Funny Part, because people give you approval for being funny. But you will suppress/repress the Awkward Part, because that part causes you to lose approval. 

But if you heal the Awkward Part, there's no need to identify strongly with the Funny Part. You don't need to 'defend' against awkwardness. You move into different Parts of yourself, like maybe your Listening Part, without the compulsion to be funny.

As you heal yourself, you'll still have these parts. But The Self will run the show. Other parts just blend with the Self momentarily (when the situation arises). There is no strong identification with any part. They just come and go. 

[Gesundheit]

6 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Sexuality can be pretty fluid for some individuals.

That's not my experience. Besides:

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

My interpretation of the material from the Ridhwan  School is that the gift of full integration finds one able to fully be at home with oneself and ones understanding. Egoic identifications and attachments are let go of and metabolised with one's natural essential aspects,,,

Probably excessive  pasting of quotes and tmi ,,,, please excuse me

 

Being a Human Being and Still Being the Absolute

The development of consciousness has to do with living in this life from the perspective of the Absolute. The Personal Essence, the Pearl Beyond Price, has to do with being a human being and still being the Absolute. If you’re just the Absolute, you are not a human being. But you live in this world, you have a physical body and a mind, you have work and relationships. You need the Personal Essence in order to be able to live personally as a human being and still be the Absolute. So the development of the personal aspect has to do with integrating all of these things that are important for our life into the various levels of consciousness, and then into the Absolute. This is an actual process that has to do with the metabolism of the Absolute into the Personal Essence. Although it is rarely mentioned in spiritual literature, the integration of the person into the Absolute is vital because we live in the world and not in a monastery or cave. Integrating the person into the Absolute is more difficult than experiencing the Absolute. Integration requires that you deal with and metabolize your unconscious and your personal history. You have to really let all of the unconscious come out, to face all of your specific issues and areas of conflict and ignorance. Many traditions don’t care about integration but strive only to reach the Absolute. They don’t care about the personal life. The point for them is to know the Absolute and leave. In other traditions, and in our work, the point is to know the Absolute and live in the world as an expression of it. So how can you live a human life from the perspective of absence? That is the realm of development, change, and transformation within consciousness.

Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 145

 

 is Possible to Experience Egoless Beingness

Thus it is possible to experience egoless beingness, to be, as a substantial presence that is not a mental construct, and still live a human, personal life, in which love, work, knowledge, creativity and accomplishment make sense, a human sense. This true existence, this presence, this being beyond time that makes sense of human and personal life, is the Personal Essence. It is the reality of which ego is only a reflection. It is the truly integrated and developed human being. This is the beautiful presence that the traditional literature of work schools calls the “pearl beyond price.” The experience of universal impersonality of ultimate reality occurs when the separate individuality is transcended, when the separate individuality is seen not to be our true self. But this is the result of transcending the personality in its totality. Something different happens when we investigate the personality’s manifestations in more detail, exploring the hidden essential truth within it. The ego is a reflection of this true element of Being, the Personal Essence, and exploring the characteristics of the reflection can lead us to the reality being reflected. By isolating and understanding the elements of the false, we can begin to approach the elements of the real.

Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 32

 

The Essential Structure that the Soul Develops as She Metabolizes and Transcends her Ego Structure

The pearl can also be seen as the essential structure that the soul develops as she metabolizes and transcends her ego structure. Ego structure gives the ego-self the sense of being an autonomous and unique individual. But this structure is constructed through fixed mental impressions in the soul; hence it both dissociates her from her essential ground and limits her development because of its rigidity and fixation. The essential pearl provides the soul with a sense of individuality and personhood that does not depend on fixed impressions, but on spontaneously arising forms of essential presence that structure her experience of herself and give her the capacity to function as a person. The soul matures and transforms into a person of essence. However, the qualities and actions of this person are quite fluid and flexible and are objective responses resonant to the needs and inputs of the environment.

The Inner Journey Home, pg. 223

 

The Pearl is the Actualized Individuation of Your Soul

When you are who you are, when you are just precisely yourself, you are your “point.” Just that. This has nothing to do with any qualities, functions, capacities, and skills you may have. It has nothing to do with your status in the world, and nothing to do with living this life in a body or not in a body. It is your nature. The Pearl Beyond Price is the connection between this genuine center and all the capacities, skills, and understanding that are a part of your growth as a human being. It allows your capacities, functions and accomplishments to develop in a genuine way as an outgrowth of your spontaneous unfoldment. It is the result of living in the moment, living in a way that is true to who you are. This is your genuine personal life, your own development, your own growth. The pearl is the actualized individuation of your Soul. So the personal essence is connected with your unique function, your unique work in this life. To actualize your particular unique work in this life means to be your personal essence. It is the essence of all that you have developed and integrated in your soul as you live a real life. Everyone is born with the true self, with the point. Although we feel that the point is unique in each of us, the quality of the point is universal. Then how do people become so different in their personal lives? This is due to the particular development of their personal essence.

From- 

https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/pearl-beyond-price

[Username]

Personality = structure

Ego = content

[soos_mite_ah]

13 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

The development of consciousness has to do with living in this life from the perspective of the Absolute. The Personal Essence, the Pearl Beyond Price, has to do with being a human being and still being the Absolute. If you’re just the Absolute, you are not a human being. But you live in this world, you have a physical body and a mind, you have work and relationships. You need the Personal Essence in order to be able to live personally as a human being and still be the Absolute. So the development of the personal aspect has to do with integrating all of these things that are important for our life into the various levels of consciousness, and then into the Absolute. This is an actual process that has to do with the metabolism of the Absolute into the Personal Essence. Although it is rarely mentioned in spiritual literature, the integration of the person into the Absolute is vital because we live in the world and not in a monastery or cave. Integrating the person into the Absolute is more difficult than experiencing the Absolute. Integration requires that you deal with and metabolize your unconscious and your personal history.

I think this is really important. I can see how focusing too much on the Absolute or letting go of ego can cause people to stop being grounded which in itself turns into a form of lack of integration. I know people say that ego is the enemy but it is still important to acknowledge the purpose the ego serves. It isn't a strictly negative notion. It is important to develop a healthy ego imo.

From personal experience, I remember at one point I really identified myself with my hobbies and what I like to do. Somethings happened in my life that compelled me to question if those activities are really me. I am not my hobbies nor am I what I do rather I am the doer. That was the conclusion I came to. But I think I went too far to the other side to where I forgot to honor my sense of individuality that comes from my hobbies. Instead of pursuing what I enjoyed doing, I let it go completely and stopped for a while. I started living a more contemplative life rather than an active one. I also got super into self help to where it almost feels like an addiction. That isn't a bad thing necessarily but I don't think it is sustainable for me personally for the rest of my life. I'm not trying to live in a monastic life in a cave even though I have nothing against it. 

13 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

So the personal essence is connected with your unique function, your unique work in this life. To actualize your particular unique work in this life means to be your personal essence. It is the essence of all that you have developed and integrated in your soul as you live a real life. Everyone is born with the true self, with the point. Although we feel that the point is unique in each of us, the quality of the point is universal. Then how do people become so different in their personal lives? This is due to the particular development of their personal essence.

I just thought this part was beautiful 

14 hours ago, Myioko said:

the exploration and organization of preferences, is more like dancing or trying on costumes you like or youve created. I guess that these costumes aren’t literally you but more of an expression of being...and is a slow growing process (if too quick a growth there isn’t mastery, learning, honing down properly and its easy to get overwhelmed with the infinite possibilities of choices), and theres not such a need to identify yourself with those liked and dislikes.

16 hours ago, Swarnim said:

I have done some experiments on my own, and from what I have observed, you can completely change 'who you are' and your personality to a point you don't feel like the 'former you'. It's very strange and you feel like a whole new person. And to be able to do this, one needs little to no attachment to their personality. So fluidity. This also allows a personality to change and grow more often and easily take criticism. Personality and preferences aren't any separate object, but rather behavior that you label. 

However, the ego is a entirely different matter. It is much more rooted. And it is important one knows difference between personality and the ego. When I changed my personality, it happened with ego as the background. A different personality is just identification with different things. And to fully understand what I am talking about, you gotta delve deep yourself and see what makes you, you. Without the idea of "I am infinite conciousness' and all that in your mind. 

Ego is like the whole sense of 'you' while personality is just different ways of expressing that sense of 'you'.

I also have the experience with feeling like my personality and my preferences are fluid to where I feel as if I can change my personality radically on the course of a couple of years if I really wanted to. I like the comparison of how personality and preferences are like dancing and trying on costumes. I think it is healthiest to come at it from an attitude of exploration rather than attachment. Exploration allows consciousness to get creative and get the most out of life while attachment appeals to the ego can can breed resistance to change which halts the exploration process.