Closed room

[Preety_India]

This 

[Preety_India]

Just feeling a bit down today 

Don't know how to vent 

Feeling 

Depressed 

Worried 

Anxious 

Suicidal 

(worried about family )

There was a big fight because I didn't buy the right stuff for her. So she was badgering me. It was tough. I cried many times. 

Then she spoke to my psychologist and told him all bullshit about lying y

 

L

 

[Preety_India]

Today my psychologist diagnosed me with PTSD. 

. I don't know how long I can take this. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I love South Asian culture. I used to frequently visit the Hong Kong market back in the US.  And I used to buy sauce cans and cuisines from these stores that used to carry stuff from Malaysian, Thai, Vietnamese and Filipino cultures. 

And I used to enjoy their stuff. I like the cuteness in their art. All the cute hello kitty plush toys and cute anime toys. The whole Asian culture about anime and cute little things. 

I like buying that stuff. 

I like this candy culture of cute nothings with lots of colors and beautiful cute kid themes. It's like I get to be a kid again. 

It's so relaxing. It's way better than being in a mall with all adult boring  stuff. 

South Asian culture is therapeutic to me. And so is African and Islamic cultures.  There's so much art in these cultures including Indian. I love such a variety. 

Of course my favorite was Bruce Lee. 

 

[Preety_India]

I also have a secret crush on cute Asian guys. 

I remember flirting with an Asian guy and he was so protective of me. 

I forget that I'm Asian too. 

I'm not too much into Japanese. 

However anything Chinese is super cute. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I love closed spaces. They make me feel more secure and in myself. 

I love disco LED lights and lighted rooms. They give me a feeling of peace. 

In this journal I'm more focused on curing my trauma. 

Once and forever, I want to put this behind me. 

One thing that my psychologist told me was to list down things that I really like or enjoy. 

And I'm finding difficulty in doing this 

But I'm slowly able to gather my scatter brain and get a few items that I like in this world. Much of this might sound childish. 

But hey I don't give a damn if I appear/sound  like a child. My appearance is not important.  My feelings are more important. 

So some of the things that I like 

• Good sex 
• Intimate talk and conversations
• Role playing 
• Teddy Bears 
• Being spanked (my favorite)
• Cats (a lot omg I love cats )
• Humor 
• Art 
• Poetry 
• Painting nails. 
• Cute doll like figures like cute Asian toys for kids 
• Candy stores 
• Sucking candies. This always makes me so chill
• Chinese takeout food (I order every alternate day, I love Buddha dumplings, my favorite )
• Rings. Gold rings. Silver rings. In this department I'm a bit materialistic. Forgive me. I love finger  rings 
• Beautiful bedsheets 
• Room decor 
• Tarot cards 
• Everything related to witchcraft 
• Different kinds of foods
• Lipstick 
• Reading romantic novels 
• Glistening water. Sparkling water with ice 
• Champagne (little bit only )
• Wine and beer (little bit. I've never really drunk. Just tasted a bit. I'm usually against drinking )
• Hot bath lathering in a bath tub 
• Sitting by the beach at night 
• Eating cakes 
• Ice cream on a bad day 
• Rains outside the window 
• Crime shows. Real crime shows like Cold Case
• LED lights decor 
• Closed rooms and spaces 
• Disco LED theme 
• Grunge themes
• Old songs both English/Western and Hindi
• Pineapple 
• Mango 
• Banana 
• Smoothies 
• Milkshakes
• Tea
• Coffee
• Cooking 
• Reading 
• Gardening 
•  

 

Edited February 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Omg that was a big list. 

I'll have to make another big list of what I like 

• Cute bows and cute girly things 
• Being submissive to my guy 
• Flat shoes and flip flops
• Pillow talk
• Early morning sunshine 
• Walking in nature 
• Dancing around a fire. (never actually did this )
• Watching cat videos 
• Bird sounds. 
• The idea of eternal romance 
• Being a love bird forever 
• Sexual attraction. Romantic attraction and writing erotic stuff 
• Wearing cotton and summery stuff 
• Ancient Egyptian religious theme
• Talk therapy 
• Intelligent and intellectually stimulating conversations 
• Living in my own world. Introversion 
• Forest elf themes
• Aesthetics (environmental aesthetics. I take great care about making my journals aesthetically nice to my eyes )
• Learning different things everyday 
• ASMR
• Night breeze 
• Soft satin bed 
• Purple color 
• Acting like a kid around a man 
• Beautiful windows 
• Soft curtains 
•  

[Megan Alecia]

@Preety_India I think you're a sexual-first in terms of the enneagram instincts. Feel free to correct this anytime tho lol

[Preety_India]

Ok that was a long list. Here's another long list of my likes

• Chocolate 
• Bread 
• Shopping 
• Fantasy stories and novels 
• Visualizations and imaginations
• Books (generic )
• Walking at night 
• Dancing. 
• Listening to peppy music. 
• Listening to bubblegum pop music 
• Being all over the place 
• Sitting in a park 
• Talking kindly and politely to people (although I've social anxiety and I'm an introvert, I'm a jovial person who likes to be light hearted and funny and sweet around people. My overall energy/vibe can be defined as SWEET. (only times when I'm hostile is if I see passive aggression or triggers. People being too  sarcastic is a huge trigger )
• Mysterious colors 
• Paranormal stuff and study 
• Collection of things. Like I keep a collection of journals 
• Being passively flirty with people both men and women (although I'm not bisexual, I enjoy casual flirty but not "cheating on spouse " type of flirting. Just light casual flirting as per context 
• Listening to romantic songs
• Listening to sad songs 
• Listening to deep songs 
• I like anything emotional 
• Showing affection to lover
• Jewelry. But not over the top

•  

Edited February 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Something that is aesthetically pleasing to me list 

• Food
• Asian cultural things 
• Themes and aesthetics
• Anything sensual / sexual 
• Anything artistic 
• Anything Gothic and witchy 
• Anything ancient and vintage 
• Anything related to sleep and night or lights off 
• Beautiful homes 
• Anything related to beach 
• Anything related to fantasy and imagination 
• Anything related to love and romance. Lovey Dovey
• Anything related to coffee
• Anything related to spirit and darkness 
• Anything related to purple and roses and black and mystic gothic. 
• Anything related to street 
• Anything related to pop culture bad boy 
• Anything related to protective lover image 
• Peppy music, kiddy music, childish fun, bubblegum candy type music 
• Dark rooms. Dim rooms
• Sadomasochistic sex
• Deep colours and hues with mystic allure
• Anything seductive and alluring 
• Black and white soft imagery 
• Poetic stuff 
• LED rooms
• Sensual deep dark aspects 
• Archetypal aspects
• Romantic imagery 
• Evening imagery
• Graffiti Street imagery 
• Gifys 
• ASMR and related musical or sound stuff
• Watching animal documentaries
• Listening to sweet voices 
• Ciyiets 
• Old vintage Hollywood comedy 
• Autumn aesthetics
• Long nails
• Winter aesthetics
• Piers and bridges over water 
• Vibrant colors 
• Certain voices and interviews and narrations 
• Interior decor designs 
• Artsy rooms. Grunge rooms 
• Hippie lifestyle aesthetic 
• Seeing people live in minimalist conditions
• Watching a tarot card reading. 
• Watching documentaries
• Clean sheets 
• Looking at the yantra
• Being in a spa room 
• Relaxing holiday or vacation routines 
•  

 

Edited February 18, 2021 by Preety_India