What wound do I have that is being triggered with me?

[Richard Purdy]

My ex and I have been separated for a year. We’ve been in no contact. It’s a twin flame relationship. I’m a codependent with an anxious attachment style and they are a covert narcissist with an anxious avoidant style. We’ve been obsessing over each other to this day, looking at each other’s instagram profile. I’m able to use insights and see how often she looks at my profile and it’s everyday. She also try’s to call and text me with fake accounts. On valentines day  she posted a picture on her story with her new supply she recently started talking to, and made it all official. When we hung out she took pictures of us but didn’t post it like she did here. We had a deeper relationship and talked for months but she had no problem posting with this new person. That hurt. He had her arms around her and she posted it for everyone to see, drawing a heart on the photo. She knows I’m able to see these photos. She wouldn’t do it with me for some reason. We’ve talked for 4 months over texts social media and FaceTime but only hung out once. I’m shaking and cannot relax. This is the lowest I’ve felt. I’m shaking specifically between my root and sacral chakra. It’s a uncontrollable feeling and it’s consistent. I’m struggling to eat, I am feeling very triggered over this. I can’t sleep. I have feelings like I missed out, I never got to really be physical with her. She always acts happy on social media. I never thought this would happen since she’s pretty shy. I kept telling myself I can’t believe she did something like this. She knows that I also look at her social media too. Also this whole time we’ve not talked she posts way more selfies than she did before and has followed over 1000 other people from other schools she doesn’t even know. All these people can then have access to her pictures and hit her up. I feel jealous, betrayed, shocked, anxious jealous, sad and angry. This whole time I thought we were nearing to be back together in union again since we miss each other. Suddenly she’s putting out these pictures with the karmic partner. I don’t know what to do. I kind of feel like this was to make me feel jealous but I know there are other reasons too. What healing technique should I do? I am consistently shaking and it won’t stop. Is there a recommended solfeggio frequency you have? I am very jealous over this whole situation and I feel like like she values them more than me even though we had that soul connection. What wound am I triggering from childhood that’s causing this shaking? Did I reopen something? I feel obsessively attached. I also feel too tightly in control.  I want to do a meditation for this, something to put me at ease. I’m shaking as I’m typing as this has really triggered me

Edited February 15, 2021 by Richard Purdy

[egoeimai]

RELAX

We are one 

[Breakingthewall]

The day will come when completely amazed you look back and say: how is it possible that I could get into those ego-sick games? When your mind is clean as a mirror, you will only have love for anyone, and no grievance will have any importance, because there will be no you to claim. It is a daring path, but it is the only intelligent path, others lead to madness.

[Nahm]

 

Quote

I feel jealous, betrayed, shocked, anxious jealous, sad and angry....I don’t know what to do.

As Samuel Jackson says, “That is all you had to say!”

Suffering is the only teacher. Life. All you need my friend is the willingness to listen to it, and the emotional scale.

Where as before, you didn’t realize emotional expression was the key, and so you ruminated about the past, others, identity, and waffled in unworthiness, powerlessness, grief, insecurity, and jealousy. 

Now, you know what to do...express & in doing so you empty out...and you’re gonna really love the relief, clarity, and general goodness as you do...

Don’t stop at jealousy or anger....keep going! 

Does this leave you feeling discouraged, and disappointed sometimes? I’ve been there, and hell yes it did. Blame someone, expressively, just for yourself, for your own release and well being. It is her fault! Could she be more carefulness and thoughtless!? What the hell girl, it’s only been a year?!! 

Do you find this leaves you worried, maybe about meeting someone you like, or love? Doubtful about your future, yourself? Probably does. That sucks to feel that way!...but expressing it is not holding onto it, which feels way worse. 

Emotions come & go, and a master experiences this, and learns from life. 

When you experience discouragement, do you sometimes end up overwhelmed? We all do sometimes. It sucks but feels better than discouragement. 

Do you also sometimes feel frustration, irritation, impatience? Like, lots to do but not getting any traction? How so? Express it. Express any examples that come to mind. Freely, openly. (For you, I don’t mean on the forum, unless you want to, no judges here ?. We love ya. We all have these ‘dang emotions’.)

Do pessimistic thoughts arise in that impatience? Thoughts about stuff just not working it for you? Ahhhgg! That’s the worse, yet it feels better than the emotions lower on the scale, yes?

Do you ever find that even though you have the energy, and stuff you want to do - you experience boredom? Boredom is weird that way, but expression changes all that weirdness. As you express, who you really are fills you up!  

Let it all out. Pound pavement if you like, smash some pillows! Now is the time, let it all out! 

Then take some deep breaths. Feel the gravity. Feel the body sink into it. FEEL relaxation, for realz. Deep breaths. Look around, notice things, notice colors, shapes, textures of all the things around you. Hear sound, all around you. Really hear it, it’s quite magical, there’s all kinds of tiny nuances in sound. How far can you hear right now? What sounds the closest to you? What is the tiniest sound? What is the deepest sound? 

As you see & hear, and breathe...feel the breath, feel that the body is more relaxed now, feel the relief in having address & expressed how you’re feeling. 

Look around. Is there anything right now, which is preventing you from just being content with this moment, as it is, without adding any conditions about how it should be, about how you should be, or about how anyone else should be? Feel the peace in this moment of contentment. 

Notice, you can feel this anytime, because where you are, it’s now! Wherever you are, it’s here! 

It’s always now & here, where contentment is! Where peace and good feeling is. Kind of a miracle really. I don’t understand it but I like it a lot too. 

Keep relaxing and feeling the body sink into the gravity. 

You’ll notice better feeling thoughts arise, hopeful thoughts. Moving forward thoughts. Thoughts like “ya, there is some stuff I look forward to, some stuff I wanna experience, some things and experiences I want to creat.

Reach just a half step up...to positive belief. It feels good to believe in yourself. You are purdy! You’re the beauty of this whole place. You got a great sense of humor! 

You can always move forward in life fearlessly, because you know anytime things get to tough, you can relax, let your conditions go, and chill in the simple contentment of the moment. 

As you do, consider making a dreamboard. It feels great to write whatever you like on it, whatever you want to experience! 

Momentum automatically builds, just from experiencing thought about what you want, what feels good to you. 

Passion ensues, and it feels good. Before you know it, you’ll be one someone is jealous of!

And you’ll understand how they feel, cause you’ll faintly remember having been there yourself....and you’ll probably want to help them out, and you might even tell them about the scale, and they might feel appreciation for you, for helping them, and before you know it this whole place will be consumed in a gd epidemic of appreciation, expression and feeling of goodness. I don’t know. We’ll see. 

 

[Hanna Luna]

@Nahm What a thoughtful, loving response. I'm not where he is emotionally, but I've often been there, and your words would have been JUST what I needed at that moment. Thank you for taking the time to write this out. Your love, and selflessness is beautiful.

[Nahm]

@Hanna Luna

So sweet! Thanks! 

[universe]

@Nahm beautiful, now & here ❤️

[SamC]

On 2021-02-15 at 9:39 PM, Richard Purdy said:

My ex and I have been separated for a year. We’ve been in no contact. It’s a twin flame relationship. I’m a codependent with an anxious attachment style and they are a covert narcissist with an anxious avoidant style. We’ve been obsessing over each other to this day, looking at each other’s instagram profile. I’m able to use insights and see how often she looks at my profile and it’s everyday. She also try’s to call and text me with fake accounts. On valentines day  she posted a picture on her story with her new supply she recently started talking to, and made it all official. When we hung out she took pictures of us but didn’t post it like she did here. We had a deeper relationship and talked for months but she had no problem posting with this new person. That hurt. He had her arms around her and she posted it for everyone to see, drawing a heart on the photo. She knows I’m able to see these photos. She wouldn’t do it with me for some reason. We’ve talked for 4 months over texts social media and FaceTime but only hung out once. I’m shaking and cannot relax. This is the lowest I’ve felt. I’m shaking specifically between my root and sacral chakra. It’s a uncontrollable feeling and it’s consistent. I’m struggling to eat, I am feeling very triggered over this. I can’t sleep. I have feelings like I missed out, I never got to really be physical with her. She always acts happy on social media. I never thought this would happen since she’s pretty shy. I kept telling myself I can’t believe she did something like this. She knows that I also look at her social media too. Also this whole time we’ve not talked she posts way more selfies than she did before and has followed over 1000 other people from other schools she doesn’t even know. All these people can then have access to her pictures and hit her up. I feel jealous, betrayed, shocked, anxious jealous, sad and angry. This whole time I thought we were nearing to be back together in union again since we miss each other. Suddenly she’s putting out these pictures with the karmic partner. I don’t know what to do. I kind of feel like this was to make me feel jealous but I know there are other reasons too. What healing technique should I do? I am consistently shaking and it won’t stop. Is there a recommended solfeggio frequency you have? I am very jealous over this whole situation and I feel like like she values them more than me even though we had that soul connection. What wound am I triggering from childhood that’s causing this shaking? Did I reopen something? I feel obsessively attached. I also feel too tightly in control.  I want to do a meditation for this, something to put me at ease. I’m shaking as I’m typing as this has really triggered me

@Richard Purdy

This is not a twinflam relationship  - this is a karmic relationship. 

I went through something similar last summer with a girl who was a covert narcissist aswell. I can't or understand your pain bro, but I've been somewhere similar.. and I know it is probably one of the most painful things to go through. Keep your head up man, this two shall pass.

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/karmic-relationship

[Loba]

I have a twin flame.  Everybody does.  Long story short, your twin flame is not a single person - souls send out many parts of themselves all at once across spacetime.  It is simply whatever you register with during a certain period of awakening and can change, just like any energy does.  I have a whole journal from last summer that I might pull back up sometime in a few months where I went through the step by step process.  It is basically just your "I Am" - and you find it by finding the opposite gendered energy within yourself - it is like a wave coming from within and also outwards.  If you go up the food chain, that masculine I Am is pretty much just all men - Adam.  And then all women, Eve.  That is the literal "twin flame" or yin yang.

This doesn't sound like twin flame.  A least not conscious one.
You have to use that energy inwards and just move and live as yourself. 
That connection doesn't sound healthy for you either, move on asap.

 

Edited March 15, 2021 by Loba
Pass; looks way too much like ex of 10 yrs, and I don't like that guy, have to cover profile picture with my hand and just ended up blocking to save trouble. Washed hands of it.

[Username]

I don't like this label because it sounds super weird. I believe that this experiences are true - we creating our reality, so this person is made out of our deepest desires.

I can relate, I have a somewhat similar experience. I also met a person who made me feel trippy. I used about her obsessively - I was hardly able not to think about her for a few seconds. However I was never rejected or anything like that. Wanting her was so intense that it felt painful.

You have to dissipate the tension. Even if she was as close to you as it is possible it would still feel that she is too far. Find out how she makes you feel and find her inside of you.

[Parththakkar12]

On 16/2/2021 at 2:09 AM, Richard Purdy said:

What wound am I triggering from childhood that’s causing this shaking? Did I reopen something?

The shaking is a release of trauma. Let that happen. Let it run its course.