Sense of Superiority

[Raphael]

I have a slight sense of superiority that I developed many years ago. I feel superior when it comes to intellect and wisdom. I feel like I'm a better human being than most people. I see most people as dumb, and it makes me arrogant. Sometimes it looks like it's one of the reasons why I avoid many social interactions: I want to analyze all possibilities so that I can always be right and superior.

Even though I did a lot of progress in the past and this is not a big issue anymore, I just feel it within myself. It also looks like it's a natural thing for INTPs.

Anyone can relate or have some tips? Arrogance doesn't feel that great compared to acceptance, satisfaction in life, or joy.

[blackchair]

hope this help.

[Gesundheit]

@Raphael I've just finished watching Leo's latest video, and I think it resonates well with this topic. Maybe you need to embrace and own this feeling instead. Maybe you are actually superior intellectually. Maybe the reason why you're doubting yourself is rooted in lack of proper self-image.

Edited February 14, 2021 by Gesundheit

[Intraplanetary]

it's tricky to strike a balance between being humble and feeling superior. 

I also like to be right and say the right things when interacting with people, especially with family and friends. But it always feels more authentic when I let go of the need to be right, understood and even heard. 

Sometimes when I talk with people I have to keep reminding myself to let go of the need to contradict another person and say my opinion. Sometimes it's just better to let go of this need entirely and just listen and learn... hence, understand others without a need to be understood. 

[mandyjw]

2 hours ago, Raphael said:

Arrogance doesn't feel that great compared to acceptance, satisfaction in life, or joy.

?

Wouldn't it be more fun if everyone knew something you didn't and had something they could help you to discover or learn, if only you are open to it? Wouldn't that be a more interesting and fun world to live in? You just have to get more appreciative and curious about other people over believing that you already know about them. 

You cannot think yourself. There are not two of you, on that can judge the other as superior than or inferior to. Your experience of reality, will be colored to reflect your beliefs and expectations though. 

[Osaid]

8 hours ago, Raphael said:

I see most people as dumb, and it makes me arrogant

Yeah I feel the same way sometimes. It really humbles me seeing people who are really skilled in certain areas though. Like people who make art or music. You can't really call them dumb at that point when they've created something so interesting and beautiful. A lot of these people you'll find aren't really dumb, that's just something you're imagining about them. They will be really skilled and selfless in some areas.

Not to mention, the same people you're thinking are dumb would probably be the first ones to help you if your life was in danger. I remember seeing a story about a guy who was trapped in a forest and someone heard him crying for help. He later said something along the lines of "I took people for granted."

A lot of your life is dependent on these niche skills that these people provide. Like lets say you wanted to go out and eat pizza, you'd need a place with machinery for that and a person who is skilled at making it. Realizing this makes me feel more humble. If everyone on earth had the same skills and expertise as you, there wouldn't be much as much variety or functionality, so why would you expect that of other people?

8 hours ago, Raphael said:

It also looks like it's a natural thing for INTPs.

That would explain why I can relate to your problems so much lol

[Osaid]

8 hours ago, blackchair said:

hope this help.

That's a really good one

[Raphael]

14 hours ago, Raphael said:

I feel superior when it comes to intellect and wisdom. I feel like I'm a better human being than most people. I see most people as dumb, and it makes me arrogant. Sometimes it looks like it's one of the reasons why I avoid many social interactions: I want to analyze all possibilities so that I can always be right and superior.

Just realized that it's not sense of superiority, but sense of inferiority. I'm afraid of not being good enough, so that's why I want to do everything to feel superior. Sense of superiority = sense of inferiority.

13 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

@Raphael I've just finished watching Leo's latest video, and I think it resonates well with this topic. Maybe you need to embrace and own this feeling instead. Maybe you are actually superior intellectually. Maybe the reason why you're doubting yourself is rooted in lack of proper self-image.

The thing is that even if this is true it would be great to use intellect without feeling superior. Someone can have superior physical strength and be arrogant about it or show humility and help and protect others who don't have such strength. So I'm not that smart because I have difficulties to balance that with emotions such as compassion, empathy, humility.

What do you mean by "lack of proper self-image"?

12 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Wouldn't it be more fun if everyone knew something you didn't and had something they could help you to discover or learn, if only you are open to it? Wouldn't that be a more interesting and fun world to live in? You just have to get more appreciative and curious about other people over believing that you already know about them. 

You cannot think yourself. There are not two of you, on that can judge the other as superior than or inferior to. Your experience of reality, will be colored to reflect your beliefs and expectations though. 

To be clear, I'm not an asshole who want to be right at all cost and think I cannot learn from anyone else. I'm in fact very far away from this and try to be as respectful and open as long as my awareness allows me. I'm open to other perspectives, to feedback and criticism, and I'm willing to correct mistakes. But I noticed that when it comes to intellect, I naturally do much better than 99% of people around me and therefore it creates a feeling of superiority within myself.

I don't show a lot of arrogance IRL, but I often have to watch myself to not become arrogant when I see people doing "obvious" mistakes around me. Sometimes I release arrogance on this forum and by journaling.

6 hours ago, Osaid said:

Yeah I feel the same way sometimes. It really humbles me seeing people who are really skilled in certain areas though. Like people who make art or music. You can't really call them dumb at that point when they've created something so interesting and beautiful. A lot of these people you'll find aren't really dumb, that's just something you're imagining about them. They will be really skilled and selfless in some areas.

Not to mention, the same people you're thinking are dumb would probably be the first ones to help you if your life was in danger. I remember seeing a story about a guy who was trapped in a forest and someone heard him crying for help. He later said something along the lines of "I took people for granted."

A lot of your life is dependent on these niche skills that these people provide. Like lets say you wanted to go out and eat pizza, you'd need a place with machinery for that and a person who is skilled at making it. Realizing this makes me feel more humble. If everyone on earth had the same skills and expertise as you, there wouldn't be much as much variety or functionality, so why would you expect that of other people?

Yes, very true.

But, I also feel like my capacity to learn fast is better than most people and therefore the reason why I'm not making pizza is because I saw a long time ago what needs to be done for me to evolve through life. But at the same time it still means that I'm dumb in the field of making pizza. But society also value much more intellect than manual labor, so it also makes me superior in the eyes of society and make me able to provide more value because I can elaborate systems that integrate different fields without me being good at them, but only knowing partially about them, at least if I want to do that and take the time to do that.

Edited February 15, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

14 hours ago, blackchair said:

hope this help.

Yes, it helps.

[Gesundheit]

@Raphael Proper self-image is the most accurate image of yourself, like a mental representation of who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses, and without judgement. It's profile information that no one has access to, except you.

[martins name]

@Raphael Its a contraction of the 3rd eye chakra. I have this too and because I also have increased prana it actually manifests as head pressure for me and my 3rd eye hurts. The antidote is to first be cognizant of how this contraction feels. Become aware of the middle of your head. Then think the most narcissistic thought possible, then bask in the beauty of the thought that we are all gods beloved children. Notice the difference that narcissism feels contracted a d painful and selflessness feels expanded and beautiful and create that distinction for yourself. Now you will be able to discern when you have egotistical thoughts. Most thoughts are egotistical. The antidote is loving compassion for all beings equally and letting go of the thought that you are inherently special. Basically healthy spiral dynamics stage Green. Egotism is the opposite of beauty.

[Raphael]

8 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

@Raphael Proper self-image is the most accurate image of yourself, like a mental representation of who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses, and without judgement. It's profile information that no one has access to, except you.

So you are not talking about the absolute?

6 hours ago, martins name said:

@Raphael Its a contraction of the 3rd eye chakra. I have this too and because I also have increased prana it actually manifests as head pressure for me and my 3rd eye hurts. The antidote is to first be cognizant of how this contraction feels. Become aware of the middle of your head. Then think the most narcissistic thought possible, then bask in the beauty of the thought that we are all gods beloved children. Notice the difference that narcissism feels contracted a d painful and selflessness feels expanded and beautiful and create that distinction for yourself. Now you will be able to discern when you have egotistical thoughts. Most thoughts are egotistical. The antidote is loving compassion for all beings equally and letting go of the thought that you are inherently special. Basically healthy spiral dynamics stage Green. Egotism is the opposite of beauty.

Interesting.

[Gesundheit]

@Raphael I don't know what you mean by the word absolute within this context. I'm saying that if you're hungry, recognize that you're hungry. Don't lie to yourself and others and fake fullness. Similarly if you're intelligent, recognize that you are more intelligent and developed than the average person, at least in certain areas. This recognition may not seem significant at first, but it's very empowering, and counter-intuitively liberating.

[Raphael]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit said:

@Raphael I don't know what you mean by the word absolute within this context. I'm saying that if you're hungry, recognize that you're hungry. Don't lie to yourself and others and fake fullness. Similarly if you're intelligent, recognize that you are more intelligent and developed than the average person, at least in certain areas. This recognition may not seem significant at first, but it's very empowering, and counter-intuitively liberating.

I wasn't sure that by self-image you were talking about God or an advance and healthy ego.

Interesting thought btw, it makes sense, thanks.

[mandyjw]

9 hours ago, Raphael said:

 

To be clear, I'm not an asshole who want to be right at all cost and think I cannot learn from anyone else. I'm in fact very far away from this and try to be as respectful and open as long as my awareness allows me. I'm open to other perspectives, to feedback and criticism, and I'm willing to correct mistakes. But I noticed that when it comes to intellect, I naturally do much better than 99% of people around me and therefore it creates a feeling of superiority within myself.

I don't show a lot of arrogance IRL, but I often have to watch myself to not become arrogant when I see people doing "obvious" mistakes around me. Sometimes I release arrogance on this forum and by journaling.

I don't think you're an asshole, I think we're all very self absorbed. But it's interesting that you just responded arguing for your current self concept of yourself. Isn't it funny how these concepts change all the time in reaction to different people and situations and what we believe their views are of us? I just meant to point out that openness and positive expectation is more fun than assuming that we already know. 

You don't have to watch "yourself", just watch.

 You are pure awareness. You are not a thought of yourself. 

[Raphael]

5 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

But it's interesting that you just responded arguing for your current self concept of yourself. Isn't it funny how these concepts change all the time in reaction to different people and situations and what we believe their views are of us?

Yes, it is.