Teal Swan: Why Women Like Assholes + Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

[Phenomenon]

@Preety_India Just gotta realise how easy it is to become cynical with all the things us men have coming at us. It's tough to remain open minded to alternate possibilities. If you have compassion for our cynicism you'll have less of a need to judge us and if men have compassion for their own cynicism they'll find it easier to re-condense their experiences under a more fine tuned lens.@Axiomatic  Lines of best fit are not the only lines that are the "lines of best fit", its difficult to escape confirmation bias on either side of the argument because culture doesn't encourage the development of the best parts of the brain, especially when what we believe serves our dick. This is analogous to being a spiral dynamics problem.

[Emerald]

9 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

I'll bet my life savings that if you were at a party with my friends, you would be attracted to the loudest dude whos peacocking. you wouldnt be attracted to my friend who is passive and quiet and doesnt speak up. he never gets laid, and its really tough for him. guarantee it

Ive never once seen a woman whos having her attention being taken up by the loudest man stop talking to him and approach the meek quiet dude whos too shy to talk to her. never. I never once her a girl say "yeah youre a hot shot, but i wanna see what this dude in the corner has to say" 

you like being woo'd, you like laughing, and you like being messed with. literally every girl likes this, and these are cocky peacocking qualities. 

I'm almost always attracted to quiet and reserved men. I seldom ever like brash or loud men. It usually puts me off.

I'm much more likely to see a quiet guy, reading in the corner and get curious about him and what he's thinking about. I am a quiet and reflective person. So, in situations where I've scoped guys out in the past, there's always been this desire to find my match... someone who was relatively mysterious who could understand me and I could understand him back.

That's seriously the story of 90% of how my attractions have begun going back to like middle school... a curiosity about what's going on in the mind of a more reserved guy. It's always been that way. I wouldn't likely match with a man that's very extraverted because I am not extraverted. I dated an extrovert once... and it didn't turn out well for compatibility. 

And I like ambiguity and a bit of resistance to work up against. If a guy is really wearing his sexuality and personality out on his sleeve, it robs the ambiguity and resistance and there is not ability to build up sexual tension. I like the sense that I'm getting an aspect of him that no one else sees. That's just what pushes my buttons. 

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

 

 

and as many threads as you make, it sounds like yours is not good at all. idk what to tell ya. 

My relationship is great because I finally found a gentleman and precisely the reason I left an asshole for. 

I make posts like that because each of one the other posts remind me of my exes. 

Of course my love life wasn't good when I was with assholes. But that got fixed by a gentleman 

 

[Axiomatic]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 

What I get from your posts is that you think women should be a certain way but that's not going to happen. 

 

 

oh the irony

 

difference between me and you is that I dont try to make women a certain way. I simply just act accordingly. you on the otherhand, clearly want to will a certain reality into existence with your words. "One day society will change" "It disgust me how many men like pick up" "you will never have a good relationship!" thats all you say.

I am just saying what works for me. I'm definetly not an asshole, but i dont try to be what women think they want. 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Axiomatic said:

. "One day society will change" "It disgust me how many men like pick up" "you will never have a good relationship!" thats all you say.

Hahaha the biggest irony is that society always keeps changing 

People would have never been vegan in olden days. People were racist and enslaved other humans in old times. 

Hahaha, would be a pleasant surprise to you when you get older and society becomes what you don't want it to be. 

 

[RendHeaven]

6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Trust me when I say I've been involved with more pick up than Leo ever has... from the receiving end.

I could have a Phd in it.

Sorry Emerald, I love your perspectives but this ain't right.

You have no idea the transformative process that one man goes through to go from unattractive to attractive.

It's a deeply personal journey of going from literally repelling girls to finally experiencing their affection, and the principles along this journey are timeless.

Your "receiving pickup" perspective is such a partial, me-centered perspective. Not even 0.1% of the man's journey is seen from your vantage point. You are like a pebble in the stream who thinks it knows the water since it is always touching water, but doesn't realize that the water has travelled dozens of miles just to briefly touch you, and will continue to travel another dozen miles.

Of course, the man's perspective is also a partial, me-centered one as well. The water of the stream has no idea what it's like to be that pebble. There's no denying that.

The problem with your claim above is that you believe that you have the wider, truer, more meta perspective that encompasses the "narrow" male one, but really you're just looking down your nose and dismissing the male perspective instead of taking it seriously. You say you're listening but deep down you think you know better because you see the partiality of the male perspective (but not the partiality of your own).

I know, ironic that a man would tell a woman that she's not really listening, seeing how men never listen to women - there's plenty of that all over this forum + thread, I'm hyper-aware.

[Axiomatic]

3 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm almost always attracted to quiet and reserved men. I seldom ever like brash or loud men. It usually puts me off.

I'm much more likely to see a quiet guy, reading in the corner and get curious about him and what he's thinking about. I am a quiet and reflective person. So, in situations where I've scoped guys out in the past, there's always been this desire to find my match... someone who was relatively mysterious who could understand me and I could understand him back.

That's seriously the story of 90% of how my attractions have begun going back to like middle school... a curiosity about what's going on in the mind of a more reserved guy. It's always been that way. I wouldn't likely match with a man that's very extraverted because I am not extraverted. I dated an extrovert once... and it didn't turn out well for compatibility. 

And I like ambiguity and a bit of resistance to work up against. If a guy is really wearing his sexuality and personality out on his sleeve, it robs the ambiguity and resistance and there is not ability to build up sexual tension. I like the sense that I'm getting an aspect of him that no one else sees. That's just what pushes my buttons. 

yeah yeah yeah 

 

[RendHeaven]

18 minutes ago, Emerald said:

If you're just looking to get laid, it will certainly work fine for you to ignore what I'm saying. Go ask a pick up artist for that.

But if you should ever really want to understand a woman and have a deep connection with her, then you'd be wise to have a listen to my perspective... because I'm not just telling you useful lies that you can use to maximize your lay count... I'm telling you the truth of my experience of attraction as a woman that I've contemplated extensively upon.

And if you don't value that, then that's fine.

But I have to give you fair warning that this is the exact thing that leads me to auto-filter men out of my consideration when they don't even care about my subjective experience as a woman. It reflects a selfishness that is juvenile and unbecoming of a man. And I'm sure many women are the same.

And you may be able to get away with doing that and still get laid or have a casual girlfriend.

But please dispossess yourself of the illusion that you can ever truly satisfy a woman as a man without caring about her subjective experience of sex and relationships.

No intimacy can be had when you ignore the female sexual experience. And a great many women will strike you from their lists without you even realizing it.

This is excellent.

[Axiomatic]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Hahaha the biggest irony is that society always keeps changing 

People would have never been vegan in olden days. People were racist and enslaved other humans in old times. 

Hahaha, would be a pleasant surprise to you when you get older and society becomes what you don't want it to be. 

 

who said I dont want it to be that way? 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Axiomatic said:

who said I dont want it to be that way? 

Then get on board with it or be left out. 

 

[lmfao]

These threads always blow up and turn into conversations like these. It's inevitable though since it is a different domain from other sub-forums here. 

It should be allowed to happen though imo without too many thread locks, because this is just one of those things where people will have to argue

I'm definitely gonna bookmark some posts this thread 

Edited February 17, 2021 by lmfao

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, knakoo said:

Can you give an example of a asshole type behaviour that would give you better results but that you are not willing to do ?

Oh, easily. I can think of 5 women off the top of my head who I could have slept with (but didn't) if all I cared about was sleeping with them and didn't care about hurting them through pump and dump.

In pickup situations, being highly assertive to the point of obnoxiousness and sociopathy will increase your results by 5-10x.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WuC3DE_RHI

There is a direct inverse correlation between how much you care about a girls feelings and how many girls you bang. I've met guys who have slept with 100, 200, 300 girls. What's their secret? They give zero shits about the girls feelings. Zero.

[Axiomatic]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Then get on board with it or be left out. 

 

On board with what? What a stranger on the internet thinks should be? 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Axiomatic said:

On board with what? What a stranger on the internet thinks should be? 

Nah, what society thinks. Your projections on how women should be are so silly and teenagey. I allow a man to be a man in a relationship because it helps my survival value too. Can you allow a woman to be woman? Maybe it's against your survival. 

 

[Axiomatic]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Oh, easily. I could easily think of 5 women of the top of my head who I could have slept with if all I cared with sleeping with them and didn't want to hurt them by pump and dump.

thats the disconnection women in this thread have. just because it works doesnt mean we will/should do it 

[Phenomenon]

@Axiomatic What underlying premise are you running on? The same to you @Leo Gura . Are you saying that she doesn't genuinely want to have a relationship built on love and connection? And this applies to all women? Because that's the broad generalisation that it sounds like your assertions are based on.

[Axiomatic]

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Nah, what society thinks. Your projections on how women should be are so silly and teenagey. I allow a man to be a man in a relationship because it helps my survival value too. Can you allow a woman to be woman? Maybe it's against your survival. 

 

Listen, you are projecting a lot on to me, but you really know nothing about me. I am simply just sharing my life experience, and what has helped me have a succesful romance life. If whatever you're preaching is correct, then ill adapt. but so far, nah that doesnt work in the society i am in. 

I know you're hurt and bitter towards the way things are. I was too. But this is how I need to be to survive romantically in this world. I dont know what else to tell you. And I think you want to force everyone to be a certain way, but I think you should learn to let things be. you cant control me and you cant control all men. you can only control yoursel.f

 

and for the record i dont control women or attempt to control them. they can do whatever they want, and i do what i want 

Edited February 17, 2021 by Axiomatic

[Emerald]

10 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

I value real connections, but I still wouldnt listen to you for that. And I mean absolutely no offense by it. But listening to men always makes things work for me rather than the other way. 

The distinction here is that I'm not providing you with actionable distortions of the truth... I'm providing you with relatively un-actionable truths. 

If you want to get laid and do pick up, what I shared on here is of no use for that. It's true... but it has little utility if you just want to get laid.

But if you value deep connection like women generally do, you must understand that women who are relatively introspective will be able to tell you far more accurate information about female sexuality compared to pick up artists. And if you want real intimacy with said woman, you would be wise to listen and believe them.

It won't get you laid by a ton of women... but deep intimacy isn't possible without that. And if you carry the idea that men know better about women's sexuality than women do, you will write over your lady's sexuality with the things you only think you know... because they worked for your purposes. 

So, it's just that the truths that women will tell you are not actionable or orchestrable. They are not user friendly. When a woman is sharing their sexual leanings and insights with you, they just are what they are.

Now, pick-up gives a lot of workable falsehoods. They will work for your purposes. They are useful... but they get female sexuality ALL distorted and wrong. Any woman will tell you that, and they're 100% correct when they do. 

But because the falsehoods work and the truth doesn't work for the purposes of pick up, men come to the conclusion that women are just out of touch with what they really want. And that's simply not true in my case or in the case of any woman who is relatively introspective.

But what women really desire... and what some women will settle or fall for (often in false hope of changing the guy into what she really wants) are two totally different things.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Axiomatic said:

 

. But this is how I need to be to survive romantically in this world. I dont know what else to tell you. And I think you want to force everyone to be a certain way, but I think you should learn to let things be. you cant control me and you cant control all men. you can only control yoursel.f

Hahaha.  I'm not trying to control anything. Simply saying what I think doesn't work with me as a woman. And other women are agreeing too. Of course I can't control men. But I can definitely control what man comes into my life. 

So all the men can go find women who like assholes. 

But what I've learned is that an asshole hurts my survival value the most more than any other man. 

I can dominate a man or I can be submissive to a man. Both ways I win. 

The only man who blocks my survival is the asshole. And ive learned how to avoid that. Other women eventually learn it too. 

Women are definitely getting wiser at the detriment of assholes. 

And that is a blessing my dear. 

 

[Hardkill]

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Oh, easily. I can think of 5 women off the top of my head who I could have slept with (but didn't) if all I cared about was sleeping with them and didn't care about hurting them through pump and dump.

In pickup situations, being highly assertive to the point of obnoxiousness and sociopathy will increase your results by 5-10x.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WuC3DE_RHI

There is a direct inverse correlation between how much you care about a girls feelings and how many girls you bang. I've met guys who have slept with 100, 200, 300 girls. What's their secret? They give zero shits about the girls feelings. Zero.

So, the more you insult women and the more you lie to them, the more girls you will be able to bang? I thought that women are more turned on by an authentic man who has a real spine.

Edited February 17, 2021 by Hardkill