Teal Swan: Why Women Like Assholes + Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Agreed

Yes

Disagree. The lion run amok is still highly attractive. Although dangerous. And creepiness cuts across both categories. Weak and submissive men are some of the biggest creepers.

This puts too much blame on the asshole. The deeper truth which women do not want to admit is that they are turned on by assholes.

Assholes aren't hiding that they're assholes. They are openly assholes and that's what turns you on.

Women are attracted to strong men. Strong men tend to be assholes, which is what helps them be strong. The end.

If I was willing to be more of an asshole, I would get laid 3x as much. That is the reality of how this works. The rest is fluffy words that make you feel good about yourself.

I'm sorry Leo, but you're just incorrect about the attraction factor around assholes. I've met plenty of very attractive masculine men who are kind and warm. In fact, most attractive masculine men with mass appeal that I've known have been very warm-hearted, but also very assertive and strong.

And I've met many men who are arrogant assholes who, despite their masculinity (or even lack-there-of), are very unattractive. Arrogance is just an annoying and selfish quality where no true intimacy can exist and no true surrender can happen. So, of course, assholes are no prize to be won and there is even a repulsion factor to them because they often act like spoiled children. 

Now, I'm sure you'd be able to get a higher quantity of women if you were more of an asshole. But this asshole quality and subsequent ability to get laid by a bunch of women would not be a reflection of increased attractiveness... just a reflection of what will succeed in getting you laid by more women by ramming through certain women's weak boundaries and to disregard social graces. 

I think men are largely under the illusion that getting laid by many women is a true reflection of their masculinity and attractiveness. But from my perspective, I see this as being almost as silly as a woman thinking that the number of men who want to sleep with her is a measure of her attractiveness. 

So, I would encourage you to not take quantity of sexual success as an objective measure of your attractiveness. I know a ton of asshole redneck guys from my hometown who get laid all the time... but they're definitely not attractive. And I've known tons of asshole pick-up artist guys with a billion notches in their bedposts who are also definitely not attractive.

And just think about how many super models that that 'studly stud' Donald Trump has had sex with. We all know he's a 'hottie'.

Honestly, if you prefer to look through the survival lens relative to sexuality and human relationships, you can see why this quality is quite repulsive. Assholes are actually really bad for female survival. So it makes sense that there would be that repulsion factor. 

But perhaps, if you're just seeing your attractiveness as a means to and end... the end being sleeping with the highest quantity of women, then being an asshole will be a very effective strategy. But don't be under the illusion that the asshole quality is attractive or that there is an innate link between masculinity and assholery.

[Axiomatic]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Women need to raise their consciousness. And stop dating assholes. This whole thing that attraction is biological is nuts.. Thinking can change biology just like mind reset can remove years of genetic anxiety. 

Anything is possible. So all the assholes can sink into oblivion. We don't need them. 

Women want good men. Survival is not our fault. 

And with more women getting stronger and independent, they are more likely to choose good polite men. See it for yourself. 

So many of my successful women colleagues are married to nice men.. 

The trend is shifting. Assholes won't stand a chance. 

Talk about conscious dating. Women are not dumb creatures as everyone is trying to automatically assume. 

Women are moving in their own direction of consciousness. 

At one point domestic violence was a part of a relationship with no laws or ways for women to speak about it. 

Today women don't put up with such men. They move on to a better man. Women have a good future and times are changing. 

So all this "women like assholes" crap will come to an end one day 

Some men just need a reason to act like assholes and then justify it.. YouTube is already banning such pickup channels. Red pill psychology will only last so long. At some point women are going to be fed up with all this abuse. More women are opening up about emotional abuse. 

We are going to put an end to this menace. You don't get to blame everything on women. 

Women aren't married to assholes. They are married to gentlemen. If they were married to assholes they would have been dead. Wake up. 

 

The dude in the video I linked is now happily married and a good guy. He just had to play the game to learn and grow. Its not black and white 

But if what youre saying is to be, then itll be. 

[Phenomenon]

@Leo Gura This is also her other boyfriend.... kind of the opposite of what you're referring to here.

 

[How to be wise]

@Emerald And that’s why Leo (and most pickup artists) say not to listen to women for attraction advice. 

Leo has far more experience in pickup than you do. Sorry, but we know who we will listen to. 

[Axiomatic]

Just now, How to be wise said:

@Emerald And that’s why Leo (and most pickup artists) say not to listen to women for attraction advice. 

Leo has far more experience in pickup than you do. Sorry, but we know who we will listen to. 

preach, anytime a woman says one thing about attraction, I see her actions do the opposite 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

The dude in the video I linked is now happily married and a good guy. He just had to play the game to learn and grow. Its

Well its good that he grew it. I can tell you that I was attracted to an asshole, but not because he was an asshole, yes he was dominant, but let me tell you that it's only a phase, I grew out of it, it's fed by teenage novels and movies and primal instincts, but it's hardly anything, it only happens because boundaries are weak and knowledge is shallow, but when a woman outgrows it, she can easily smell it and get repulsed by it. 

If today I've to meet an asshole in a club, I will simply laugh at him and look away. He won't be worth my time. Men take a little thing and spin a yarn ball out of it. Our innate femininity doesn't want an asshole and that's why we leave them, it's only nomadic survival that made women desire that. But we aren't living in nomadic times anymore. Nomadic times saluted wars. But look how people are against wars now. 

With feminism, a lot of things are changing because women aren't depending on a man for survival anymore. Emasculation of men is already happening. Tables are turning. More educated women are choosing a gentleman. 

Naive toxic women still settle for the abusive guy. I did that too. But like I said it's just a phase. Sooner or later a woman drops that guy and moves on. 

If you only want to increase lay count, then you would be obsessed with wanting to be like an asshole. 

But if you want a healthy long term working relationship with a healthy emotionally grown woman, then this strategy won't work. Choice is yours. 

Btw I've never seen a man simply sleeping with multiple women really happy. He is forever searching. Most men who are happy are happy because they have stability in life relationships wise. 

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Etherial Cat said:

Of course, the analogy is not perfect. My point is that our basic instincts are tamed by the experiences we make. You know that eating that crap turns out bad, so you move on!

I just watched your video on wisdom. I'm surprised you do not extend it's circle and principles to attraction and relationships.

Dating an asshole comes with a sharp learning curve.

Do you seriously think we'd be up to sign in over and over again to date wall street hedge fund managers and the likes in an infinite loop dictated by our biology ?

I can see "through" the causality chain of assholery, which is why I don't find it attractive and don't want one anywhere near me. 

I definitely second this. 

I have been attracted to assholes in the past and it lead to big problems. So, there is an awareness and an aversion now.

It all comes with experience. 

[Axiomatic]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Well its good that he grew it. I can tell you that I was attracted to an asshole, but not because he was an asshole, yes he was dominant, but let me tell you that it's only a phase, I grew out of it, it's fed by teenage novels and movies and primal instincts, but it's hardly anything, it only happens because boundaries are weak and knowledge is shallow, but when a woman outgrows it, she can easily smell it and get repulsed by it. 

If today I've to meet an asshole in a club, I will simply laugh at him and look away. He won't be worth my time. Men take a little thing and spin a yarn ball out of it. Our innate femininity doesn't want an asshole and that's why we leave them, it's only nomadic survival that made women desire that. But we aren't living in nomadic times anymore. Nomadic times saluted wars. But look how people are against wars now. 

With feminism, a lot of things are changing because women aren't depending on a man for survival anymore. Emasculation of men is already happening. Tables are turning. More educated women are choosing a gentleman. 

Naive toxic women still settle for the abusive guy. I did that too. But like I said it's just a phase. Sooner or later a woman drops that guy and moves on. 

If you only want to increase lay count, then you would be obsessed with wanting to be like an asshole. 

But if you want a healthy long term working relationship with a healthy emotionally grown woman, then this strategy won't work. Choice is yours. 

Btw I've never seen a man simply sleeping with multiple women really happy. He is forever searching. Most men who are happy are happy because they have stability in life relationships wise. 

I can tell by your paragraphs that you have a narrow view of what it means to be a man. I stopped chasing lay counts years ago, but I still dont bend over backwards for a woman who doesnt deserve it. And thats usually what women mean when they say they dont want assholes. They just want more control. And Im sorry, but I dont trust humans in general enough to bend over backwards for them undeservedly. 

[Phenomenon]

Go to the 27:10 min/sec mark

That's when the big waterworks start. Concerning Teal Swan's ex.

 

 

12 minutes ago, Phenomenon said:

@Leo Gura This is also her other boyfriend.... kind of the opposite of what you're referring to here.

 

 

 

Edited February 17, 2021 by Phenomenon

[Axiomatic]

women also need to realize that whats best for them isnt always whats best for the guy and visa versa. 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Axiomatic said:

dont bend over backwards for a woman who doesnt deserve it.

A gentleman doesn't need to bend over backwards to be a gentleman. I have never dated a guy who bent over backwards for me. Why would I want that? I'm looking for a man, not some lame duck. 

You are conflating two things. You think that being polite is slavery. 

People are polite and kind without having to bend to anyone. I can be talking to a polite guy right now and I would more than admire that he is confident in who he is. 

Politeness is a humble quality. You don't have to be a people pleaser to be polite. 

You conflate two things. 

 

[Emerald]

11 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

@Emerald And that’s why Leo (and most pickup artists) say not to listen to women for attraction advice. 

Leo has far more experience in pickup than you do. Sorry, but we know who we will listen to. 

Trust me when I say I've been involved with more pick up than Leo ever has... from the receiving end.

I could have a Phd in it.

[Axiomatic]

Just now, Preety_India said:

A gentleman doesn't need to bend over backwards to be a gentleman. I have never dated a guy who bent over backwards for me. Why would I want that? I'm looking for a man, not some lame duck. 

You are conflating two things. You think that being polite is slavery. 

People are polite and kind without having to bend to anyone. I can be talking to a polite guy right now and I would more than admire that he is confident in who he is. 

Politeness is a humble quality. You don't have to be a people pleaser to be polite. 

You conflate two things. 

 

nah see women say that, but they do want to control us. they want us to text them all day everyday. thats not in my best interest 1. because i dont like doing that and 2. because they would get sick of me even tho they think thats what they want. happens EVERYTIME

They want more and more of my time, they compete for it. it makes them feel special to know that id cut off my friends for her. but thats not in my best interest. to her im being a gentleman, but thats not being a gentleman, thats bending over backward for her. to her im being an asshole for establishing boundaries and not allocating all my time to her, but im just living a balanced life.

If relationships were so easy peasy, then they wouldnt require work and self interest. theyre hard. one persons idea of what it means to be a giving partner doesnt align with the other.

I will never hurt a woman or treat her like shit on purpose, but every woman test me to see how much they can get from me, and i gotta shut that shit down. cuz they wont respect me if i play into it.

Thats what you just dont see from my side. When I say asshole, i dont mean woman beater or emotional abuser. I mean being independent. 

[Axiomatic]

12 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Trust me when I say I've been involved with more pick up than Leo ever has... from the receiving end.

I could have a Phd in it.

I'll bet my life savings that if you were at a party with my friends, you would be attracted to the loudest dude whos peacocking. you wouldnt be attracted to my friend who is passive and quiet and doesnt speak up. he never gets laid, and its really tough for him. guarantee it

 

Ive never once seen a woman whos having her attention being taken up by the loudest man stop talking to him and approach the meek quiet dude whos too shy to talk to her. never. I never once her a girl say "yeah youre a hot shot, but i wanna see what this dude in the corner has to say" 

 

you like being woo'd, you like laughing, and you like being messed with. literally every girl likes this, and these are cocky peacocking qualities. if being with a real good guy is that meaningful, most women wouldnt be concerned about the emotions within the moment

Edited February 17, 2021 by Axiomatic

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

nah see women say that, but they do want to control us. they want us to text them all day everyday. thats not in my best interest 1. because i dont like doing that and 2. because they would get sick of me even tho they think thats what they want. happens EVERYTIME

They want more and more of my time, they compete for it. it makes them feel special to know that id cut off my friends for her. but thats not in my best interest. to her im being a gentleman, but thats not being a gentleman, thats bending over backward for her. to her im being an asshole for establishing boundaries and not allocating all my time to her, but im just living a balanced life.

That's because these women are using you. Not every woman is like that. Maybe you are dating unhealthy ones. 

I never told my boyfriend to stop doing what he did. But he is still a gentleman. 

I don't like the idea of control in a relationship, be it from whatever side. I like my own space and I give him his own space. 

Date healthy people, whether men or women, is the moral of the story. 

[Emerald]

19 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

preach, anytime a woman says one thing about attraction, I see her actions do the opposite 

If you're just looking to get laid, it will certainly work fine for you to ignore what I'm saying. Go ask a pick up artist for that.

But if you should ever really want to understand a woman and have a deep connection with her, then you'd be wise to have a listen to my perspective... because I'm not just telling you useful lies that you can use to maximize your lay count... I'm telling you the truth of my experience of attraction as a woman that I've contemplated extensively upon.

And if you don't value that, then that's fine.

But I have to give you fair warning that this is the exact thing that leads me to auto-filter men out of my consideration when they don't even care about my subjective experience as a woman. It reflects a selfishness that is juvenile and unbecoming of a man. And I'm sure many women are the same.

And you may be able to get away with doing that and still get laid or have a casual girlfriend.

But please dispossess yourself of the illusion that you can ever truly satisfy a woman as a man without caring about her subjective experience of sex and relationships.

No intimacy can be had when you ignore the female sexual experience. And a great many women will strike you from their lists without you even realizing it.

[Axiomatic]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

If you're just looking to get laid, it will certainly work fine for you to ignore what I'm saying. Go ask a pick up artist for that.

But if you should ever really want to understand a woman and have a deep connection with her, then you'd be wise to have a listen to my perspective... because I'm not just telling you useful lies that you can use to maximize your lay count... I'm telling you the truth of my experience of attraction as a woman that I've contemplated extensively upon.

And if you don't value that, then that's fine.

But I have to give you fair warning that this is the exact thing that leads me to auto-filter men out of my consideration when they don't even care about my subjective experience as a woman. It reflects a selfishness that is juvenile and unbecoming of a man. And I'm sure many women are the same.

And you may be able to get away with doing that and still get laid or have a casual girlfriend.

But please dispossess yourself of the illusion that you can ever truly satisfy a woman as a man without caring about her subjective experience of sex and relationships.

No intimacy can be had when you ignore the female sexual experience. And a great many women will strike you from their lists without you even realizing it.

I value real connections, but I still wouldnt listen to you for that. And I mean absolutely no offense by it. But listening to men always makes things work for me rather than the other way. 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Axiomatic said:

I value real connections, but I still wouldnt listen to you for that. And I mean absolutely no offense by it. But listening to men always makes things work for me rather than the other way. 

I can tell you that you will never have successful relationships in life with that attitude. You've already denied a good relationship coming your way. 

 

[Axiomatic]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I can tell you that you will never have successful relationships in life with that attitude. You've already denied a good relationship coming your way. 

 

Well my romance life is going great so...sounds like a you problem! lmao. typing paragraphs about how im wrong doesnt change the fact that my actions and choices have been right for me and worked

 

and as many threads as you make, it sounds like yours is not good at all. idk what to tell ya. 

Edited February 17, 2021 by Axiomatic

[Preety_India]

Just now, Axiomatic said:

Well my romance life is going great so...sounds like a you problem! lmao 

It doesn't. And it won't. You can't have a good relationship by denying a woman her womanhood. If you have desires, she has desires too. 

What I get from your posts is that you think women should be a certain way but that's not going to happen. 

You think that you will be arrogant in a relationship and she will put up with you?