Teal Swan: Why Women Like Assholes + Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

[RendHeaven]

4 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

Yet another reason why a man should never listen to a woman for dating advice

I would replace "dating advice" with "attraction advice."

In general, listen to women. It's noble. Just filter out their attraction advice.

Dating advice imo is broad. It includes stuff like boyfriend-girlfriend dynamics. LISTEN TO THEM ON THIS. Their relationship advice is valid.

It's specifically attraction advice where they are clueless. Attraction is different from boyfriend-girlfriend dynamics. Very critical distinction.

[Axiomatic]

Just now, RendHeaven said:

I would replace "dating advice" with "attraction advice."

In general, listen to women. It's noble. Just filter out their attraction advice.

Dating advice imo is broad. It includes stuff like boyfriend-girlfriend dynamics. LISTEN TO THEM ON THIS. Their relationship advice is valid.

It's specifically attraction advice where they are clueless. Attraction is different from boyfriend-girlfriend dynamics. Very critical distinction.

fair enough 

[Superfluo]

34 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

And if you could draw a square circle, that would be nice too.

It's not so unlikely. There are people like that.

[Axiomatic]

1 minute ago, Etherial Cat said:

The survival game is not static. It follows the rules of evolution and societal needs.

Nowadays, "rewarding" sociopathic male behavior is a foolish choice. I can't fathom how I am supposed to be attracted to an asshole when survival commands that we transition into stage Green, which requires more feminine energy.

Actually, both my survival and the one of my offspring would depend on the Masculine's ability to reintegrate it. So it precisely goes against the past female agenda which use to select only the "sharp knife alpha".

take it from a guy, its still very much like that. My friend is very stage green, but hes always naturally been "alpha". he dominates a room naturally, and despite his attempts at growing his empathy and condemning his old asshole ways, hes still very much that in nature. And women love him for it. 

Sure hes not textbook dangerous, but girls still hate that they love him. Because he just knows how to get under their skin. 

[Superfluo]

@Etherial Cat

That's from a logical standpoint. When instinctual, biological survival will make itself feel heard, you won't think about the transition to stage Green or some abstract concepts. As pretty much everyone on the planet.

[Chives99]

4 hours ago, Yali said:

@Chives99

Never have sex with a colleague.

Bad idea mate.

[Value]

Interesting discussion.

To me it seems like there are different nisches you can have as a guy for attracting girls, not all involves being an asshole. But they all involve being powerful in some way.

Russell Brand has a lot of success with ladies, but he ain't an asshole from what I can see.

[knakoo]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

And if you could draw a square circle, that would be nice too.

There is a huge link.

It's much easier to be masculine when you are a narcissist and sociopath. Confidence and assertiveness are harder when you have high empathy for people.

Being an asshole actually makes a guy more attractive to women. Women reward sociopathic behavior in men because they need to for survival.

Not second-guessing yourself and considering others is precisely what women reward. You may logically deny it, but in practice you will reward it by opening your legs for it.

There is a lot of truth to this. I would agree that there are much more very attractive and masculine assholes than non assholes.

But would you not agree that the ultimate catch for a healthy woman is a guy who has it all, including very masculine and emphatic (ultimately spiritually awake, feeling deep love for everyone). If you take that exceptional guy, being an asshole is not going to make him more attractive. 

Do you think that if you had no empathy you would be more attractive to healthy and spiritually inclined women ?

Edited February 16, 2021 by knakoo

[Axiomatic]

11 minutes ago, knakoo said:

There is a lot of truth to this. I would agree that there are much more very attractive and masculine assholes than non assholes.

But would you not agree that the ultimate catch for a healthy woman is a guy who has it all, including very masculine and emphatic (ultimately spiritually awake, feeling deep love for everyone). If you take that exceptional guy, being an asshole is not going to make him more attractive. 

Do you think that if you had no empathy you would be more attractive to healthy and spiritually inclined women ?

my mom has been with a man very much like this for the past decade, but she had to be married to my asshole dad for 17 years to realize that what she wants is an empathetic man. 

problem is most men aint got 15-20 years to wait

Edited February 16, 2021 by Axiomatic

[Chives99]

4 minutes ago, Axiomatic said:

my mom has been with a man very much like this for the past decade, but she had to be married to my asshole dad for 17 years to realize that what she wants is an empathetic man. 

problem is most men aint got 15-20 years to wait

You can avoid this by avoiding women that play all the guys off against each other, you know exactly the ones im talking about

[Etherial Cat]

On 15/02/2021 at 5:09 PM, RendHeaven said:

@Etherial Cat Do you think you can describe the connection you desire?

I can try, sure.

It's a connection on the existential level, which includes room for transcendence. Instead of being wired towards the usual ego game dynamic, the relationship is wired towards Truth and Love come what may.

Most relationships I've seen are rather superficial because none is doing proper self-actualization work. 

Often, they aren't necessarily compatible on a deeper energetic level. As a consequence, there is a lot of work to be done in order to "maintain" the thing going, because the reality is that these people got together because they want something from each other. 

Also, both play roles with themselves and with each other.

The connection I'm talking about is wired toward authenticity, knowledge of self, wisdom and thus just allows for deeper intimacy. There is little overlay between both individual.

[Chives99]

@Leo Gura that seems incredibly anti spiritual behaving like that, being an arsehole isnt authentic to me

[Leo Gura]

@Chives99 I'm not telling you how to behave. Just telling you how attraction works.

[Leo Gura]

36 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

https://vaillant.blog/2018/05/23/one-thousand-and-one-nights-with-teal/

Here is your giant asshole

Not buying it.

Show me all the men she's slept with in her life. Then let's talk.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Not second-guessing yourself and considering others is precisely what women reward. You may logically deny it, but in practice you will reward it by opening your legs for it.

Being attracted to the masculine is like being attracted to a very sharp knife. The sharper you want it, the more likely it is to cut you. And the reason you're attracted to it in the first place is because a sharp knife is good at slitting throats. Just don't he surprised when it turns on you. What comes around goes around.

An optimally attractive man is like a very fierce lion with an expertly skilled lion tamer.

If a man's lion is not fierce, he is not attractive. He is weak and submissive.

If a man's lion tamer is not skilled and he lets his lion run amok, he is not attractive. He is dangerous and/or creepy.

And both of these men are bad for female survival and are unattractive as a result. The only reason why assholes are successful is because they can hide that they're assholes before women can recognize how unskilled their lion tamer is. And it can be easy to be carried away into silly fantasy that an asshole will learn to tame his lion.

A strong-willed man who has the capacity for violence but the self-control to wield it justly and responsibility, is very attractive. Everything else won't allow for true feminine surrender... because surrender requires safety and trust. And you can never be safe with a man who locks his lion in a cage... nor can you be safe with a man who has a shitty lion tamer.

[Axiomatic]

thread is quite hilarious 

[Leo Gura]

19 minutes ago, Emerald said:

An optimally attractive man is like a very fierce lion with an expertly skilled lion tamer.

Agreed

Quote

If a man's lion is not fierce, he is not attractive. He is weak and submissive.

Yes

Quote

If a man's lion tamer is not skilled and he lets his lion run amok, he is not attractive. He is dangerous and/or creepy.

Disagree. The lion run amok is still highly attractive. Although dangerous. And creepiness cuts across both categories. Weak and submissive men are some of the biggest creepers.

Quote

The only reason why assholes are successful is because they can hide that they're assholes before women can recognize how unskilled their lion tamer is. And it can be easy to be carried away into silly fantasy that an asshole will learn to tame his lion.

This puts too much blame on the asshole. The deeper truth which women do not want to admit is that they are turned on by assholes.

Assholes aren't hiding that they're assholes. They are openly assholes and that's what turns you on.

Women are attracted to strong men. Strong men tend to be assholes, which is what helps them be strong. The end.

If I was willing to be more of an asshole, I would get laid 3x as much. That is the reality of how this works. The rest is fluffy words that make you feel good about yourself.

[knakoo]

35 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

https://vaillant.blog/2018/05/23/one-thousand-and-one-nights-with-teal/

Here is your giant asshole

Why a giant asshole ?

[Abdelghafar]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The deeper truth which women do not want to admit is that they at turned on by assholes.

Assholes aren't hiding that they're assholes. They are openly assholes and that's what turns you on.

Generally speaking, does this work outside of romantic relationships too? e.g. friendships? @Leo Gura

[Leo Gura]

Attraction is a short-term thing. It's not about long-term sustainability.

What you are attracted to has nothing to do with what is best for you in the long-term.