Teal Swan: Why Women Like Assholes + Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

@Preety_India Then stop demonizing pick-up, cuz it's the best solution for that problem.

That's not the solution. And I've no problem with pickup. 

What needs to change is your disgusting entitled mentality that you think you are punished if a woman rejects. 

A woman will love the man she wants to love. It's her choice and you can't decide her life. Get over it. 

 

[Emerald]

4 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

@Emerald Be realistic, not idealistic. That's not how the average person perceives attraction, whether they're male or female. Women project meaning onto attraction as much as men. So what do you think about that? Should women stop wearing make-up or go shopping for fashion clothes? Should women seclude diet and become fat? The picture you're painting is like men are unconscious and needy, and women are conscious and detached. But that's just not the case. Neediness and detachment are not defined by gender, and so is consciousness.

I am being very realistic with you by helping you see underneath your projections.

A woman being attracted to someone is not a reward. A woman being unattracted to someone is not a punishment. It just is what it is. Women don't even consciously control it. It just happens or it doesn't.

Also, I didn't say much of anything about men at all in my last post. I was saying how you're projecting your feelings and worldview onto female attraction.

I never said anything about men other than that neither men nor women are punishing people or rewarding people with their attractions. Attraction is just a phenomenon that either happens or doesn't.

But honestly, most of what you posted makes no sense in response to what I wrote. It's almost as though you're responding to something else entirely.

Yes... all people project meaning onto attraction. But not everyone projects the punishment and reward dichotomy onto attraction like you have.

And even if someone does project punishment/reward onto attraction, it doesn't mean that projection is an accurate representation of reality as it is. You can project anything onto attraction dynamics... and it doesn't mean that it's true.

And projecting the punishment/reward dichotomy leads to an incorrect, fatalistic, and ineffective worldview around attraction.

And furthermore, it makes a person seem desperate and entitled because the idea becomes... if a man's been "good" enough then he should "deserve" sex. And if women don't give him what he's "earned" by being "good", then women are a bunch of selfish people for not bestowing him with his rightfully "earned" sex.

And not only is this a selfish mindset, it's also very lacking in social awareness, needy, and unattractive. 

So, it would be in your best interest to dispossess yourself of that punishment/reward illusion that you're projecting onto attraction dynamics. That's what I'm trying to help you with.

[knakoo]

9 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I personally auto-filter guys who do cold approach. It tells me something about them and their priorities that don't jibe with my own.

If a guy overwhelming with peace, joy and love approaches you in a friendly way, of course you are going to respond positively. But of course these guys are rare.

On the other hand, if a shy and genuine guy approaches you and give you a sincere compliment, you may appreciate it or simply feel compassion. 

It's strange if you have only had "very annoying" interactions from a cold approach.

 

[Axiomatic]

11 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

@Preety_India Then stop demonizing pick-up, cuz it's the best solution for that problem.

"This whole thing that men are punished if a woman is rejecting him is so ridiculous."

It's not ridiculous at all, that's how most men feel, but apparently you have little compassion for men who are struggling that you deny their feelings. You are not a man, so you don't know what men struggle is like.

she is insecure and is using her issues with pick up as a projection of her own issues 

[w4read]

@Leo Gura Would you say level of development has something to say when it comes to attraction for women? For example would a woman at stage orange be more attracted to this asshole type of behavior then for example a stage green type of woman?

[Gesundheit]

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

That's not the solution.

Then what's the solution? Be realistic with your answer.

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

What needs to change is your disgusting entitled mentality that you think you are punished if a woman rejects.

That's not my attitude, you're being carried away. I'm talking about men in general. That is how it works. If a man does not get sex, he will feel bad and then will act bad. It's just reality. And the crime proves this point. If men did not feel bad, none of them would become violent and criminal. And since we don't want to deny the reality of how they feel, we should find practical solutions and support them instead of demonizing them.

@Emerald I don't need you to teach me on projection. Just stop your teacher nonsense for once and talk like an equal.

Edited February 16, 2021 by Gesundheit

[Emerald]

7 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Ben Shapiro still could get pussy left and right.

So could any other guy on the planet. 

But my point was that Ben Shapiro isn't masculine and he's an asshole in comparison to a Dwayne Johnson type who is masculine but seems very kind.

My point was that masculinity and being an asshole aren't inherently linked. 

[Preety_India]

11 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

@Preety_India Then stop demonizing pick-up, cuz it's the best solution for that problem.

"This whole thing that men are punished if a woman is rejecting him is so ridiculous."

It's not ridiculous at all, that's how most men feel, but apparently you have little compassion for men who are struggling that you deny their feelings. You are not a man, so you don't know what men struggle is like.

So a man has the right to kill a woman just because he is struggling or just because she doesn't have compassion for his struggles. 

Where do you get all these ideas from? From Indian culture? 

It's because of this disgusting mentality that women in my country die everyday at the hands of the men in my country. 

This same mentality. 

 

[StarStruck]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

So could any other guy on the planet. 

But my point was that Ben Shapiro isn't masculine and he's an asshole in comparison to a Dwayne Johnson type who is masculine but seems very kind.

My point was that masculinity and being an asshole aren't inherently linked. 

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

 

Agreed.

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit said:

 

@Emerald I don't need you to teach me on projection. Just stop your teacher nonsense for once and talk like an equal.

Suit yourself.

But you'd be wise to realize that you're projecting all kinds of falsehood onto female attraction and that your self-esteem and romantic prospects are suffering for it.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Gesundheit said:

That's not my attitude, you're being carried away. I'm talking about men in general. That is how it works. If a man does not get sex, he will feel bad and then will act bad. It's just reality. And the crime proves this point. If men did not feel bad, none of them would become violent and criminal.

No. Men in other countries don't kill women. Not the way they do in India. Stop defending criminals and crimes. There is no justification for crime unless it's an act of self defense or domestic abuse. 

You need to change your mentality or leave women alone. 

 

[Gesundheit]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

So a man has the right to kill a woman just because he is struggling or just because she doesn't have compassion for his struggles. 

When did I ever say that? I'm just explaining the root cause behind crime so that you can see how pick-up is by far the best alternative and solution.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Gesundheit said:

When did I ever say that? I'm just explaining the root cause behind crime so that you can see how pick-up is by far the best alternative and solution.

Crime happens because of a criminal entitled sociopathic mindset. Don't justify it. There is no other reason for crime than a person feeling entitled to take someone's life and there is no justification for such entitlement. 

Your views are downright dangerous. 

 

[Gesundheit]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

But you'd be wise to realize that you're projecting all kinds of falsehood onto female attraction and that your self-esteem and romantic prospects are suffering for it.

Can't pull the brakes on your inner teacher, eh?

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Crime happens because of a criminal entitled sociopathic mindset.

What is left to be said after that? You don't show the least bit of compassion for criminals, which btw is exactly what creates more crime.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Gesundheit said:

Can't pull the brakes on your inner teacher, eh?

What is left to be said after that? You don't show the least bit of compassion for criminals, which btw is exactly what creates more crime.

And you don't show any compassion for the dead. That's the mentality that perpetuates crime and domination. 

[Emerald]

22 minutes ago, knakoo said:

If a guy overwhelming with peace, joy and love approaches you in a friendly way, of course you are going to respond positively. But of course these guys are rare.

On the other hand, if a shy and genuine guy approaches you and give you a sincere compliment, you may appreciate it or simply feel compassion. 

It's strange if you have only had "very annoying" interactions from a cold approach.

It's mostly that, for romantic prospects, it takes several months of platonic interaction for an attraction to arise for me. 

I don't really respond well with cold approach because attraction is a very slow burn for me. And there is no guarantee of that, even if I do spend a lot of time around a guy.

So, even though I understand that this isn't very actionable from the male perspective, the element of organically growing warm bonds is very important to the attraction process. In order for an attraction to be potent enough to really want it, there has to be that build up and slow bonding process without expectation of romance.

But generally, if a guy is into pick-up, it takes away what's interesting to me about the process. It's the idea that he has feelings for me in particular. So, if a guy is approaching me... it stands to reason he's doing that with any girl he finds relatively attractive.

So, the specialness, ambiguity, and organic development of relationship is off the table if a guy approaches me.

That's really the reason for the filtering. But beyond that, there's the perk of getting to know someone over time and seeing how they are when they're not trying to make a good impression upon you. So, I wouldn't give cold approachers my time in that way, when I can build up warm bonds with men who exist within my social circles and frequent stomping grounds.

Edited February 16, 2021 by Emerald

[knakoo]

3 hours ago, Phyllis Wagner said:

What if every guy made it his goal to approach 1000 women? Women couldn't even walk on the streets without being harassed. Most women do not want to be approached when they are going about their day.

This whole behavior is selfish as fuck. Like you don't care about anyone but yourself and you see every women on the street as something to practice with or fuck.

This is the reason why if you tell any normal person about your great plan of approaching 1000s of strangers to get laid you get weird looks. It's common sense.

When you do approaches you can have the mindset of giving value. Like if I see a cute girl who seems to be in a bad mood, I will just want to cheer her up and make her smile/laugh. I am interested in building beautiful connections with girls. If the girl is super cool and the connection amazing, but she is not single, then we can end up friends.

Also if you want to have sex with a girl it doesn't mean you are only thinking about yourself. Girls love sex too you know !

If pick up became so popular that women were getting approached all the time, yeah that would not be sustainable. But that is very very unlikely to happen. 

Edited February 16, 2021 by knakoo

[Gesundheit]

Just now, Preety_India said:

And you don't show any compassion for the dead. That's the mentality that perpetuates crime and domination. 

Huh? I want to decrease crime by promoting pick-up because it's the closest realistic thing to a win-win situation. If that's not compassion, I don't know what is.

Most male crime against women is a backlash against the lack of intimacy. If we increase the intimacy, the backlash will be diminished. That's what I'm advocating.

[Hardkill]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

It's mostly that, for romantic prospects, it takes several months of platonic interaction for an attraction to arise. 

I don't really respond well with cold approach because attraction is a very slow burn for me. And there is no guarantee of that, even if I do spend a lot of time around a guy.

So, even though I understand that this isn't very actionable from the male perspective, the element of organically growing warm bonds in very important to the attraction process. In order for an attraction to be potent enough to really want it, there has to be that build up and slow bonding process without expectation of romance.

But generally, if a guy is into pick-up, it takes away what's interesting to me about the process. It's the idea that he has feelings for me in particular. So, if a guy is approaching me... it stands to reason he's doing that with any girl he finds relatively attractive.

So, the specialness, ambiguity, and organic development of relationship is off the table if a guy approaches me.

That's really the reason for the filtering. But beyond that, there's the perk of getting to know someone over time and seeing how they are when they're not trying to make a good impression upon you. So, I wouldn't give cold approachers my time in that way, when I can build up warm bonds with men who exist within my social circles and frequent stomping grounds.

So, are you totally against cold approaching? Do you think it's bad or are you just not into guys who cold approach you?

[Preety_India]

Just now, Gesundheit said:

Huh? I want to decrease crime by promoting pick-up because it's the closest realistic thing to a win-win situation. If that's not compassion, I don't know what is.

Most male crime against women is a backlash against the lack of intimacy. If we increase the intimacy, the backlash will be diminished. That's what I'm advocating.

That's your projection and bias 

Men get rejected all around the world. But they don't go on killing women. It's called cultural values. In a culture where men are taught that they are above women and any woman who is trying to stand up is attacked the way you're attacking me, it's difficult for men to see women as humans and do whatever savagery they want to do with them. 

Nobody stops you from pickup other than you yourself. But don't use the rejection in pickup as a justification for the murder of a woman. 

By doing that, women are only going to be more fearful of men and reject men even more.. 

If you don't understand women, why bother to love them. 

A woman needs safety as the first condition in a relationship. When she doesn't feel safe she won't date. 

Increasing crimes against women make them feel unsafe and your attitude of defending criminals also makes them unsafe. 

With such attitude you only make the problem worse not better.. 

Women in western countries feel relatively safer as compared to women in India.

I don't even feel safe walking on the road by my house. But never felt like that in America. Huge difference. 

Don't tell me about western culture and apply the same bullshit logic to a patriarchal system of India where women are treated worse than slaves 

Your mentality fits right into the terrible Indian dynamic.. 

If there is no safety or respect for women, forget dating and pickup. 

I don't wish to end up dead or raped.