Teal Swan: Why Women Like Assholes + Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

[knakoo]

40 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Chives99 Stop making excuses and approach.

Too much bullshittery on this topic. All problems are resolved in the approaching.

Maybe not all problems are resolved in the approaching. I remember a guy on RSD forum saying he did 2000 approaches, got laid twice and now felt like shit and a fucking weirdo, whereas he used to be cool before starting pick up. He also said he always felt very weird approaching, so of course that was not going to work. Usually guys get over that after a few hundreds approaches.

So clearly you also need the right mindset for it to work, like no expectations, a desire to learn and the ability to let go. You also need to learn some pick up theory and then be smart and self aware enough to learn from your mistakes. 

But yes the most important thing is to talk to girls obviously !

[Chives99]

@knakoo Theres plenty of cute single girls at my workplace which is a common place people meet their partner. I don't like the term cold approach as its just forced, if u are somewhere where you're waiting or in a relaxed environment and  and you strike up a conversation thats not forced. I'm waiting for someone to complain on here they got charged with public harassment for trying to do day approach. Thats why Leo needs his disclaimer.

Edited February 16, 2021 by Chives99

[knakoo]

50 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

@knakoo Theres plenty of cute single girls at my workplace which is a common place people meet their partner. I don't like the term cold approach as its just forced, if u are somewhere where you're waiting or in a relaxed environment and  and you strike up a conversation thats not forced. I'm waiting for someone to complain on here they got charged with public harassment for trying to do day approach. Thats why Leo needs his disclaimer.

An unattractive guy is not going to become attractive to women without getting out of his comfort zone. That's why cold approach works. The more you push your comfort zone, the more at ease and confident you become. 

If someone is hopeless with women, he is not going to attract the cute single girls at work, so he needs flirting practice. But practicing with girls at work is not a good idea !

If you can attract the cute girls at work and you are happy with your dating life, then there is no problem ! No need for pick up advice.

[Emerald]

On 2/13/2021 at 9:32 PM, Leo Gura said:

Asshole just = strong guy

From reading your responses, I'm thinking that you missed the point of the Teal Swan video. 

She states that if you put a kind man with all the masculine/dominant qualities and an asshole with all the masculine/dominant qualities next to one another, that the kind man would be preferred. 

There is no link between being an asshole and increased masculinity. The only difference is that assholes won't second-guess themselves or consider others. 

There are tons of assholes that aren't very masculine, and there are tons of kind men who are.

Like, let's take someone like Ben Shapiro... very un-masculine and very much an asshole. Then, take someone like Dwayne Johnson... very masculine and seemingly very kind. 

[Chives99]

21 minutes ago, knakoo said:

An unattractive guy is not going to become attractive to women without getting out of his comfort zone. That's why cold approach works. The more you push your comfort zone, the more at ease and confident you become. 

If someone is hopeless with women, he is not going to attract the cute single girls at work, so he needs flirting practice. But practicing with girls at work is not a good idea !

If you can attract the cute girls at work and you are happy with your dating life, then there is no problem ! No need for pick up advice.

chatting to your coworkers is social practice

[Emerald]

On 2/13/2021 at 10:11 PM, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura So females reward pure strenght more than human decency?

First off, don't think about female attraction as a reward. It's just how she feels. There's no sense of rewarding someone with affection. It's either she is attracted or she isn't. 

But I think a lot of women would prefer a dominant guy who is an asshole over a submissive guy who is a nice guy. But that women would prefer the confluence of dominance and kindness.

A lot of attraction is based on survival. And in nomadic times, if you were with a man who can't protect you and provide for you, then this leaves you and your children dead. So, the ability to be a strong protector/provider outweighs temperament in the attraction process.

But the issue with violent ruthless men is that there is a point of diminishing returns.

He who protects you and provides for you can also turn on you and beat you and murder you. So, that's when a kind temperament becomes important in the attraction process.

So, the most attractive men possess both the capacity to be kind and gentle while also possessing the ability to be a strong protector/provider... which includes the capacity to become violent and ruthless. And then also the ability to consciously choose which mode he's going into. So, self-control is also very important in attraction.

From the perspective of our wiring... if you have a man who's too submissive, it's a survival threat. If you have a man who's too dominant, it's a survival threat. Best to shop around for a guy in the Goldilocks zone.

[Phyllis Wagner]

What if every guy made it his goal to approach 1000 women? Women couldn't even walk on the streets without being harassed. Most women do not want to be approached when they are going about their day.

This whole behavior is selfish as fuck. Like you don't care about anyone but yourself and you see every women on the street as something to practice with or fuck.

This is the reason why if you tell any normal person about your great plan of approaching 1000s of strangers to get laid you get weird looks. It's common sense.

[Gesundheit]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

First off, don't think about female attraction as a reward. It's just how she feels. There's no sense of rewarding someone with affection. It's either she is attracted or she isn't.

If it's not a reward, then withholding it is a punishment at least. Think about it from the perspective of an unattractive guy that wants to have sex. He's nice and everything so he presents no threats whatsoever, but he's still unattractive. How do you fix that? Does he not deserve having sex? Should he just bite the bullet and stay a virgin forever? Or should he become aggressive and an asshole? What are you suggesting exactly? A "nice guy" cannot change overnight, it takes practice. And so here we are.

Edited February 16, 2021 by Gesundheit

[charlie cho]

@Chives99 JUST DO IT! STOP MAKING EXCUSES! JUST DO IT! AAHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD! STOP MAKING EXCUSES. TO GET THERE, DO EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING! LITERALLY EVERYTHING!

lol. luv you bro. keep at it but also chill in the process. 

[Bando]

lol I see why many of you guys have trouble finding sex let alone a decent parter you guys will play any mental gymnastics to avoid approaching women. Many of these approaches take less than 30 seconds to a minute. If you can manage to be creepy in only 1 min of meeting somebody you have a lot of limiting beliefs to overcome. 

2 hours ago, knakoo said:

Maybe not all problems are resolved in the approaching. I remember a guy on RSD forum saying he did 2000 approaches, got laid twice and now felt like shit and a fucking weirdo, whereas he used to be cool before starting pick up. 

The problem this guy has is that he's not overcoming his personal limiting beliefs as he's approaching girls, he's expecting by approaching that many girls it will magically fix his low self-esteem which is the dumbest thing you could possibly do.

[Bando]

16 minutes ago, Phyllis Wagner said:

This whole behavior is selfish as fuck. Like you don't care about anyone but yourself and you see every women on the street as something to practice with or fuck.

Nice mental gymnastics, don't comment on things you have little experience on.

[Yahya]

@Leo Gura Do you believe its possible to live without sex?

 

[Hardkill]

51 minutes ago, charlie cho said:

@Chives99 JUST DO IT! STOP MAKING EXCUSES! JUST DO IT! AAHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD! STOP MAKING EXCUSES. TO GET THERE, DO EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING! LITERALLY EVERYTHING!

lol. luv you bro. keep at it but also chill in the process. 

Even if you do it like in the Dan Cilley vids I just showed on this thread?

[Yali]

4 hours ago, Chives99 said:

at my workplace

@Chives99

Never have sex with a colleague.

Bad idea mate.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

If it's not a reward, then withholding it is a punishment at least. Think about it from the perspective of an unattractive guy that wants to have sex. He's nice and everything so he presents no threats whatsoever, but he's still unattractive. How do you fix that? Does he not deserve having sex? Should he just bite the bullet and stay a virgin forever? Or should he become aggressive and an asshole? What are you suggesting exactly? A "nice guy" cannot change overnight, it takes practice. And so here we are.

Female attraction is just what is. It isn't a reward or a punishment because women don't choose who they are or aren't attracted to. It just happens, and often for no discernible reason or quality.

It's the same way that male attraction isn't a reward or a punishment. It just happens. You don't consciously choose who you're attracted to. 

You're adding too much intention into the attraction process. You're projecting a meaning onto it that simply isn't there. Someone being attracted to you isn't a reward. Someone not being attracted to you isn't a punishment. It may feel that way to you. But it simply isn't the case. You're just projecting your feelings and value system onto the phenomenon of female attraction.

From the female perspective, it's usually just "Oh wow! I have a big crush on John. I hope he likes me too." That's all there is... just a flood of endorphins and positive emotions in relation to a particular guy.

It has nothing to do with anyone else or how they feel about her attraction to this particular John character. Everyone else is romantically neutral. 

But fear not, I'm sure you've been someone's John many times and you will be many more. But women tend not to be forthcoming with their attraction. When you like one guy in particular, it's extra hard to confess it because there is no one else like him. And if he rejects you and you have so much investment already, it's a much scarier situation than approaching someone you have no investment in.

Also, there is not such thing as deserving and not deserving. This is another projection of your worldview onto reality.

Edited February 16, 2021 by Emerald

[Gesundheit]

@Emerald Be realistic, not idealistic. That's not how the average person perceives attraction, whether they're male or female. Women project meaning onto attraction as much as men. So what do you think about that? Should women stop wearing make-up or go shopping for fashion clothes? Should women seclude diet and become fat? The picture you're painting is like men are unconscious and needy, and women are conscious and detached. But that's just not the case. Neediness and detachment are not defined by gender, and neither is consciousness.

Edited February 16, 2021 by Gesundheit

[Emerald]

7 hours ago, Chives99 said:

@knakoo I dont think i would like it if strangers were bothering me in public if I wasn't in a situation where a natural conversation would arise. If a woman was pestering me for phone numbers etc I would think she was trying  to tag team pickpocket/ rob me with a friend. Once someone was standing to close to me at a atm machine and later on down the street someone bumped into me, I hadn't realised they swiped my debit card , the person at the machine had organised this, with her friend to read my pin then get the other one to bump into me. Luckily though the atm machine wouldn't let them use it and swallowed the card up as they tried to withdraw £200.

I personally auto-filter guys who do cold approach. It tells me something about them and their priorities that don't jibe with my own.

I wouldn't listen when these guys are trying to cajole you into cold approaching women. It is very annoying.

If I were going about meeting women as a man, I would just develop some social influence and a wide social circle where I make a lot of organic social connections with many men and women.

And then, I could warm approach from within that wider social circle. 

[Preety_India]

This whole thing that men are punished if a woman is rejecting him is so ridiculous. 

In my country, it's a common occurrence for women to be murdered when they refuse a man's advances. Everyday I read about some Indian woman losing her life because she said no to a guy and he felt entitled to her affection and body as though she owes him something and if she doesn't say yes then the next thing is murder and often times such killings are justified by the murderer and some patriarchal misogynistic males. 

 

[Gesundheit]

@Preety_India Then stop demonizing pick-up, cuz it's the best solution for that problem.

"This whole thing that men are punished if a woman is rejecting him is so ridiculous."

It's not ridiculous at all, that's how most men feel, but apparently you have little compassion for men who are struggling that you deny their feelings. You are not a man, so you don't know what men struggle is like.

Edited February 16, 2021 by Gesundheit

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

From reading your responses, I'm thinking that you missed the point of the Teal Swan video. 

She states that if you put a kind man with all the masculine/dominant qualities and an asshole with all the masculine/dominant qualities next to one another, that the kind man would be preferred. 

There is no link between being an asshole and increased masculinity. The only difference is that assholes won't second-guess themselves or consider others. 

There are tons of assholes that aren't very masculine, and there are tons of kind men who are.

Like, let's take someone like Ben Shapiro... very un-masculine and very much an asshole. Then, take someone like Dwayne Johnson... very masculine and seemingly very kind. 

Ben Shapiro still could get pussy left and right.

I liked what Leo said here:

Quote

Autism is an over-abundance of logic. The worst think you can do to attract women is to be logical.

The formula for being attractive to women is to be illogical, brash, confident, emotional, charismatic, playful, and socially attuned. Autistic people suck at this.

You can be socially attuned without yet still narcissistic and breaking certain conventions selectively.

You need to break social conventions in a cool, clued-in way, rather than a clueless, uncool, awkward, nerdy, creepy way.

Think of the wild rockstar vs the awkward geek.

Autistic people are too serious, and this kills your ability to attract women. Playfulness is key.

If you look at Arnold Schwarzenegger, he is very playful, emotional, and socially attuned, but he can also kick your ass and be stoic. It's a special blend:

A guy who is good with women has to have the CAPACITY to be both a full on asshole in a masculine way. It doesn't mean that guy has to BE it.

Women can feel if a man has the capacity to be a dick, to be dangerous, to be masculine.

 If a guy is paralyzed and can't demonstrate that he has to be the capacity to be a dick, her pussy will dry quicker than a than a desert.