Teal Swan: Why Women Like Assholes + Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

[Preety_India]

@Gesundheit I can confidently say that because of screening I was easily able to get rid of toxic friends from my life, the friends I pick now are much healthier and better suited to my personality and thanks to screening I also found a good bf  

So yes screening works but I won't say 100% or absolutely. But it gives some measure of protection. 

 

[Parththakkar12]

Moral of the story - Women are attracted to a certain kind of 'personality'. A 'personality' is a choice. It is a set of behaviors, especially for men.

This one was especially difficult for me to figure out because up until this point, I thought that a 'personality' is who you fundamentally are, it is your sense of self, it's something inherent to you. It wasn't clear to me, what 'personality' meant up until this point. This makes it clear why PUAs get away with what they get away with. This is why a fake 'strong personality' can get you laid with relatively shallow women.

[Karmadhi]

@BornToBoil That is not what Leo was referring to. He was referring to legit being a ruthless detached  dick. Go tell people that guys should be detached from the girl and see how they respond. "You must do everything for love and treat her like a queen" will be their response.

[BornToBoil]

@Karmadhi but being ruthless detached dick could only work for hookups which don't really contribute to the survival value of most men. I think that for most people forming a healthy long term relationship will benefit their survival the most and being ruthless detached dick doesn't really help. 

It's actually the same with girls. You can be a complete bitch if all you care about are one night stands and attracting drunk guys in clubs.

[Karmadhi]

@BornToBoil According to Leo girls like a guy to be ruthless killer guy. I was replying to him. Maybe you disagree and i respect your opinion.

[BornToBoil]

@Karmadhi @Karmadhi I am not arguing about wether girls like ruthless killer guys or not.

I was arguing with you saying that being a ruthless killer guy somehow benefits your survival value. I don't think it's the case, therefore I don't think that your argument about society punishing guys for things that increase their survival value is valid. 

But whatever, I just wanted to talk tbh

[intotheblack]

1 hour ago, Gesundheit said:

Yeah, assuming he's seriously interested in a relationship, but what if he isn't? How do you screen that one out? Maybe he's just lying to have sex, and then dump you. Maybe he's scheming in order to get something else, like money. Maybe he's a chronic liar. Such people are hard to detect, ime.

It’s a tricky one, and it is easy to fall for people if you like them! It’s happened to me before that I got used or fell for someone then they cut me off.  But I have also hurt people. not in the way of lying and using them for sex, but I thought I liked them at first but then I changed my mind and they started to repulse me.. (mostly always because they suddenly became clingy)  I think that genuinely happens sometimes lol.   
But regarding like knowing if someone is a liar etc, that’s why you should try and keep them at an emotional distance in the beginning and keep testing them.  Maybe sex will happen but as long as you aren’t too emotionally invested it will be easier to move on if things turn sour.  

But I dunno though, all I know is that I used to be an anxious/avoidant attachment type, so I would attract the same.

Now I’m more secure with an anxious/avoidant shadow that comes up in certain situations which I’m still working on.

I think an important tester is finding out the relationship that the prospective partner has with their parents.  You can learn a lot from that! Most people turn out like their parents/attract someone like their parents.  (That continues through each generation until someone awakens to break the cycle) 

Edited February 14, 2021 by intotheblack

[Origins]

@Preety_India your boundaries, sense of self, confidence, insights and level of understanding have improved tremendously over the past few weeks well done! I am truly gobsmacked with the progress you’ve made! You keep firm on your resolve there in weeding people out you’re doing a great job! ?

[Preety_India]

@Origins  thank you so much for your encouragement and support. 

Without people like you, it's not possible for people like me to make the progress that I made.  You are a part of the bigger soul family  

Thank you for being there. 

[Origins]

@Preety_IndiaTouché . You’re coming along wonderfully!

[Preety_India]

@Origins thank you  love reading your journal insights. 

 

[Hardkill]

I wonder if you guys think that women are sexually attracted to men in the military and law enforcement or men who are fire fighters, EMT guys, or any kind of professional rescuer. They all exhibit significant levels of bravery, mental and physical strength, confidence, aggression, pride, discipline, drive for success, and leadership qualities. Those are all attractive inner and outer masculine traits. Also, most of them have a real strong sense of honor, justice, structure/order, commitment, and respect for others. All of those characteristics are truly what women want and need in a man for a long term partner. What are your thoughts on this?

[aurum]

4 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

I wonder if you guys think that women are sexually attracted to men in the military and law enforcement or men who are fire fighters, EMT guys, or any kind of professional rescuer. They all exhibit significant levels of bravery, mental and physical strength, confidence, aggression, pride, discipline, drive for success, and leadership qualities. Those are all attractive inner and outer masculine traits. Also, most of them have a real strong sense of honor, justice, structure/order, commitment, and respect for others. All of those characteristics are truly what women want and need in a man for a long term partner. What are your thoughts on this?

Sure, women can be attracted to those kind of guys. And they might really appreciate that in a relationship.

But if we're talking about quantity of one night stands, I'll put my money on your stereotypical club promoter / bartender / frat boy any day.

I think it's important to acknowledge the difference, because then it means as a guy you have to make a choice. What really matters to me? Is having sex with the most number of girls really what's most important? If being a fulfilled, higher consciousness person means I don't get laid as much with random girls, am I okay with that? Do I want quantity, or do I want quality?

The universe is always testing our wisdom .

And of course it's not a black or white. Maybe a little club promoter / fuck boy phase meets your needs for awhile. It might also teach your valuable lessons. So it really depends on the person and where they are at.

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura I do not see girls being told to do stuff that hinders their survival value. Being nice kind caring and sweet is rewarded by society. Meanwhile the stuff that raises my survival value is criticized and demonized.

Women's survival is already threatened in many ways that you are too naive and self-biased to comprehend.

Sweet and nice women are used and abused all the time, and have been for thousands of years. But you wouln't care anything about that, would you?

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Seems a bit fucked up to me even though it makes logical sense.

Of course survival is always hypocritical.

Survival for me but not for thee. I gain value, you lose value. That's the game of survival.

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No wonder guys these days are so sexless and confused when the society narrative goes against their survival value while it does not for women.

You definitely have to ignore certain narratives and build yourself into a strong man.

There is a narrative that makes men meek if they adhere to it too closely. It is a fine balancing act. Don't treat women too nicely. But also don't abuse, control, or oppress them.

Be masculine without being toxicly masculine.

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura

42 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Women's survival is already threatened in many ways that you are too naive and self-biased to comprehend.

Sweet and nice women are used and abused all the time, and have been for thousands of years. But you don't care anything about that, would you?

Of course i care about it, but i did not think of it. Just normally it seemed like they get extra points by society for being in line with what makes them attractive to guys behavior wise. I did not know all the counter intuitive stuff like the thing you mentioned. If i did i would not watch your content, you are wiser, older than me. I am just a kid

[Leo Gura]

53 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Just normally it seemed like they get extra points by society for being in line with what makes them attractive to guys behavior wise.

They get objectified by society to please men. Women constantly have to feel bad for not meeting society's unrealistic beauty standards.

You only get those extra points if you are exceptionally beautiful, which like 10% of women are. The rest are not.

How would you feel if society gave you extra points, but only if your dick was 10 inch or longer? Otherwise you'd be made to feel like trash? And we would re-measure your dick every time you left the house.

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura I  am talking about behavior here not looks. I am not saying how ruthlessly guys get treated for being short for example because i did not want to go to the looks department.

I was saying behavior that makes females attractive to males is rewarded by society and it is aligned with the social standards while behavior that makes males attractive to females  is not often rewarded and it is considered ruthless, dickish etc.

So this whole conversation is strictly about behavior. And yes an average looking girl can be very successful with guys if her behavior is on point. Some of the girls with the most guys that liked her that i have seen with my own eyes were not that attractive physical wise.

Edited February 15, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Leo Gura]

9 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura I  am talking about behavior here not looks.

That's an arbitrary distinction you make for your convenience.

Survival does not make such silly distinctions.

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I was saying behavior that makes females attractive to males is rewarded by society and it is aligned with the social standards while behavior that makes males attractive to females  is not often rewarded and it is considered ruthless, dickish etc.

Society massively rewards aggressive, dickish, and downright sociopathic behavior in men. The world's richest and most powerful men are basically sociopaths and narcissists and they get the most and best vagina. And it has always been this way.

But of course such men disregard all social norms and SJW narratives. They often disregard laws too.

The reason why women are attracted to dickish behavior is because it's ruthlessly effective for survival. The woman needs a dick on her side precisely so she can be kind and sweet and innocent. She is like a king controlling an army of pawns to fight on his behalf while keeping his hands clean.

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So this whole conversation is strictly about behavior.

No it isn't. This is a conversation about survival value.

[Yahya]

I have a question. How can I have sex and find sex when my parents are not allowing me due to religious religions and I can't find any girl because I am terrible at attracting?

Edited February 15, 2021 by Yahya

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura You are right about everything, but there is 1 thing i am confused about. By reward i did not mean tangible results, i meant how people perceive and think of you. If people in general think of you as a ruthless narcissist they will not be okay with it. Just look at the social outrage when Trump said his "grab them by the p... stuff".

I am talking about you being valued, respected not despised.