Teal Swan: Why Women Like Assholes + Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India how do you screen people? I see that phrase used quite often here, but I don't really understand what you should do to "screen" someone.

[Preety_India]

@BornToBoil keep a mental note of everything a person says or does. 

Keep a set criteria or standard or boundaries or examples of good behaviors in your mind. 

Keep a regular track of their behavior. Ask them questions, their values and beliefs on different topics. You get an overall idea of theirs mentality in general. 

For example if I have to screen a guy right now, I might want to know his dating history, why his relationships failed. Next I'll tell him that I'm busy and see how he responds. Does he respect my boundaries or does he go on pressuring me to talk? 

I can ask him questions about his job. If I find out that he is lying about his job, or ex gfs then he has already failed my screening test.  

Then I can screen for compatibility if he passes basic tests. I'll see if I get along with him. I will discuss love, sex, politics, religion, life health. See if I can see healthy compatibility on a variety of topics.  

For example if he says "all women are evil ", I should immediately drop him, because that mentality is not healthy for me. 

For example if he talks about porn or some creepy sexual thing, and if I'm not ready for such a discussion, but if he continues pressing me on it, it's red flag that he is not being respectful. 

So I could screen a guy on many factors like 

• ability to be honest 
• Weird sexual behavior (present or not present )
• Sexual compatibility (in terms of preferences )
• General mentality or attitude 
• Attitude towards work (goal oriented or lazy )
• Dating history -any abnormality? Cheating behavior in the past?
• Any criminal record
• Attitude towards women 
• Behavior in his own family. How does he treat his family members, brothers, sisters?
• Signs of fuck boy? Signs of womanizer or player?
• Attitude towards relationships monogamy or polygamous?
• Attitude to spirituality -open minded or materialistic paradigm?
• Attitude to success, education, life purpose, money, creativity, passion 

 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India ok, I see. How do you ask all of that without turning a date into an exam? How do you make it feel natural? 

Also, how soon after meeting a person should I ask important questions like these? I guess the first date isn't exactly the best timing, but I also wouldn't want to waste too much time on a wrong person.

[Preety_India]

30 minutes ago, BornToBoil said:

@Preety_India ok, I see. How do you ask all of that without turning a date into an exam? How do you make it feel natural? 

Also, how soon after meeting a person should I ask important questions like these? I guess the first date isn't exactly the best timing, but I also wouldn't want to waste too much time on a wrong person.

Yes this is a bit tricky. 

The first date is surely not the right to ask questions. Just simply observe the person's behavior on the first date. 

One way to make it feel light hearted and not make it sound like an exam (or an interrogation ) is to be playful with your conversation, maybe I'll look at a poster of a supermodel at a restaurant, ask him about what he thinks about her looks, then slowly get deeper into the topic about women, he will keep blabbing on and on, meanwhile he won't know that I'm actually screening him to know his attitude on women. So start a random topic and slowly lead the conversation in different directions and drop hints here and there for the person to pick, like I could steer the conversation from the supermodel to how she must be facing safety issues in her industry and then how he responds to women's safety issues. There is always a temptation to continue a conversation once you pick up a lead. 

Go on a couple of dates with the same person. See their behaviour.  Invite them home. See how they act when nobody is watching. 

Chat regularly. Chat a ton with that person. Usually chatting easily helps you with screening a person because within a conversation the person always gives clues to their behavior and general mentality. 

Ask polarizing questions but in a polite way. Start off like "I read this article in the newspaper that says monogamous  relationships are bullshit! What do you think about it?"  this way it won't sound like an exam but just a casual discussion yet keep it polarizing. Like if I said to him "my friend said to me, that men are so obsessed with looks " this will trigger him a bit because it's polarizing or a bit like a challenge, his ego will jump to defend, that is a great chance of watching his ego in its full glory and immediately make mental notes about all his attitudes  

I've found that you only need a needle trigger, just a tiny bit, and all the truth comes out in copious amounts.  

Most people aren't intelligent enough to detect your ploy and subtle exams. 

But never do it on the first date. Blend it nicely within everyday casual conversations and keep it light, sometimes be funny about it 

Sometimes I tend to agree with the guy if he says "all women are evil "just so that he gets comfortable and drops his guard and goes on and on with his bullshit and I let him have his time with his neurosis and I calmly listen before I drop my bomb on him and storm off from the place. 

It takes some manipulation and tact and tactics.  You have to be clever around screening people and not let them know directly that you are doing it. You keep maintaining mental notes  

Finally you make your decision to continue dating or drop. 

Be playful with the person. 

Being playful = play a fool 

@BornToBoil you're welcome. 

Edited February 14, 2021 by Preety_India

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India thank you, that was extremely useful

[Gesundheit]

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Yes this is a bit tricky. 

The first date is surely not the right to ask questions. Just simply observe the person's behavior on the first date. 

One way to make it feel light hearted and not make it sound like an exam (or an interrogation ) is to be playful with your conversation, maybe I'll look at a poster of a supermodel at a restaurant, ask him about what he thinks about her looks, then slowly get deeper into the topic about women, he will keep blabbing on and on, meanwhile he won't know that I'm actually screening him to know his attitude on women. So start a random topic and slowly lead the conversation in different directions and drop hints here and there for the person to pick, like I could steer the conversation from the supermodel to how she must be facing safety issues in her industry and then how he responds to women's safety issues. There is always a temptation to continue a conversation once you pick up a lead. 

Go on a couple of dates with the same person. See their behaviour.  Invite them home. See how they act when nobody is watching. 

Chat regularly. Chat a ton with that person. Usually chatting easily helps you with screening a person because within a conversation the person always gives clues to their behavior and general mentality. 

Ask polarizing questions but in a polite way. Start off like "I read this article in the newspaper that says monogamous  relationships are bullshit! What do you think about it?"  this way it won't sound like an exam but just a casual discussion yet keep it polarizing. Like if I said to him "my friend said to me, that men are so obsessed with looks " this will trigger him a bit because it's polarizing or a bit like a challenge, his ego will jump to defend, that is a great chance of watching his ego in its full glory and immediately make mental notes about all his attitudes  

I've found that you only need a needle trigger, just a tiny bit, and all the truth comes out in copious amounts.  

Most people aren't intelligent enough to detect your ploy and subtle exams. 

But never do it on the first date. Blend it nicely within everyday casual conversations and keep it light, sometimes be funny about it 

Sometimes I tend to agree with the guy if he says "all women are evil "just so that he gets comfortable and drops his guard and goes on and on with his bullshit and I let him have his time with his neurosis and I calmly listen before I drop my bomb on him and storm off from the place. 

It takes some manipulation and tact and tactics.  You have to be clever around screening people and not let them know directly that you are doing it. You keep maintaining mental notes  

Finally you make your decision to continue dating or drop. 

Be playful with the person. 

Being playful = play a fool 

Plot twist; the guy is playing fool too. I mean, he's making you feel like you're the one in control, when in fact, he's just lying. What do you do? How do you screen that one out?

[BornToBoil]

@Gesundheit why would you go on a date and just answer every question, even seemingly unimportant (like what do you think about the photo of that model) with lies? 

[Preety_India]

22 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Plot twist; the guy is playing fool too. I mean, he's making you feel like you're the one in control, when in fact, he's just lying. What do you do? How do you screen that one out?

I think a person who is seriously interested in pursuing a relationship wouldn't want to play out. And why would he want to waste his time in trolling me just to lose a potential relationship? 

I don't think that I ever came across a guy who was simply playing fool and trolling just for the sake of it. That would be way too childish for a grown man to do. Most men are serious on dates, they are even nervous because they are always hoping they won't be rejected. 

If a guy is lying like you said, I think the territory gets very tricky. 

But the real question is  how long can a person be manipulative and hiding their true self? It usually comes out within a few weeks because most people get tired of wearing a mask. 

Let's say a guy tells me that he is strictly monogamous with me, but he is lying about it, I might believe him at first. Let's say we're sitting in a car, and he keeps his phone on his seat while he is searching for something else in the back of the car, I can simply pick his phone and see his messages to other women and know that he was lying to me. 

The thing is  a person's true nature and character don't stay hidden for long no matter how much they pretend to be what they are not. 

There are always subconscious clues lying around that if you look closely enough, you'll pick on them. No person can play a character forever. 

So maybe he can play me for a fool for 2 weeks but in my general observation, real things begin to pour out sooner or later 

One example I can give of my ex boyfriend. He did not tell me in the beginning that he had a jail record. At least not for a month. But eventually during a conversation he blurted out his jail experience. The next thing he asked me was "I hope you're not googling this. " Sure I was googling his name already while he was on the phone with me. 

And sure enough. I discovered his domestic violence record with his ex. He came up with numerous excuses. I was neck deep in the relationship so I let it go at the time. Eventually I broke up with him and learned my lesson to not ignore red flags anymore. 

The thing is if you are trying to seek the truth about a person, you'll eventually find it one way or another, all you need is the readiness to find the truth. 

As far as I know, men do lie sometimes, but in my fair experience, it was my own unwillingness to screen harder which was a bigger problem than the guy lying. 

Also if you as a girl ask a guy to be completely honest, they stop lying and say the truth. 

So it was my carelessness and easily trusting nature more problematic than his lies. 

Screening is quite simple and easy, but it should be done with proper devotion.  Screening is much better in the beginning and not useful if you're neck deep in a relationship, because then you begin to excuse and justify that person's lies because you begin to love them hard. 

 

 

@BornToBoil sorry you got tagged 

Edited February 14, 2021 by Preety_India

[BornToBoil]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Also if you as a girl ask a guy to be completely honest, they stop lying and say the truth. 

What about girls?

[Preety_India]

Just now, BornToBoil said:

What about girls?

I think this applies to both gender. If you're dealing with a guy or a girl who is not honest with you in the first couple dates, then that person is not worth hanging around. 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Preety_India how appropriate is it to ask about a person's past in general? What if they are not comfortable with sharing something.

Also, does it necessarily mean that they are a bad person if they hid something from you?

I once was a friend with one girl who had attacked her school friend (who was a girl) and got persecuted in court for that (she didn't get any jail time, but had to do social work, like working in a soup kitchen as a punishment). And it didn't come until like two months of us knowing each other. I obviously didn't ask her if by any chance she had commited any crimes, and she also didn't want to mention it because she was afraid I would stop being friends with her or judge her for that.

However, it was like two years ago and since then and she has changed a lot.

What if I faced the same situation and we were not friends but were dating each other? Do you think I should have left her? 

 

Edited February 14, 2021 by BornToBoil

[Preety_India]

15 minutes ago, BornToBoil said:

@Preety_India how appropriate is it to ask about a person's past i  general? What if they are not comfortable with sharing something.

Also, does it necessarily mean that they are a bad person if they hid something from you?

I once was a friend with one girl who had attacked her school friend (who was a girl) and got persecuted in court for that (she didn't get any jail time, but had to do social work, like working in a soup kitchen as a punishment). And it didn't come until like two months of us knowing each other. I obviously didn't ask her if by any chance she had commited any crimes, and she also didn't want to mention it because she was afraid I would stop being friends with her or judge her for that.

However, it was like two years ago and since then and she has changed a lot.

What if I faced the same situation and we were not friends but were dating each other? Do you think I should have left her? 

 

This is a personal preference. To judge or not to judge is up to you. If the person has done something little, it's easy to let go. But then the question arises, "how much more are they hiding if they are hiding this?"

I understand their insecurity of being judged or losing you, but at the same time, they need to understand your insecurity of not being able  to trust a liar. 

So it goes both ways. The think you need to consider is "who is losing here?" You or her. If you're going to be losing something, by not knowing something, then you better know it, at the risk of shaming or judging her. Because your life is important, her security is not. In fact she has a greater burden to prove that she is not a risk to anyone's life. Judging her is only a little risk, but losing your life over someone who might secretly have violent tendencies is such a big risk. Why would you take such a big risk, only because that person is not comfortable talking about it? This is dating and not playing video game where the person is not comfortable playing the opponent. Dating is a game of life. 

If a potential date tells me that he is uncomfortable with something, I would at least want to know if it's something small,  insignificant or something big. If it's something big, I clearly have the right to know. Maybe not right in the moment, but at least at some point. 

Open communication is a hallmark of a good relationship.  If a man is uncomfortable opening up to me, it's sure sign that he doesn't trust me enough and that already puts the relationship on a shaky ground, it is already headed for tons of doubts and cognitive biases. Such a relationship is no good for either party. 

As far as I know, I was completely honest with my ex boyfriend and did not hide anything at all because I fully trusted him. 

It's not even a relationship if you can't fully trust. It's simply two people having sex and living together for company. A real relationship is very deep and there are deep confessions. 

When it comes to friendship, she doesn't have much an obligation to tell you the truth because expectations are far less in a friendship. So it's okay for her to keep her things to herself. 

 

Edited February 14, 2021 by Preety_India

[BornToBoil]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

When it comes to friendship, she doesn't have much an obligation to tell you the truth because expectations are far less in a relationship. So it's okay for her to keep her things to herself. 

Yeah, I know, I just used it as a hypothetical example.

I think you are right. It's important to fully trust each other in a relationship.

[knakoo]

So I can see many of you have not watched the video. For people who prefer this is her blog post on the topic :

 

"A woman isn’t unattracted to a man because he’s nice.  What is actually happening is that she is unattracted to him because he lacks other traits that most women are not only attracted to, but actually need 

in order to feel good in a relationship.  We could call these ‘masculine traits’.  And the guys that are usually labeled ‘nice guys’ by society and that identify with that label, tend to lack these traits. Therefore, due to both attraction to and need for these traits, most women feel ‘forced’ to be with men who have those traits, even if it comes with a side dish of other undesirable character traits.  “Nice Guys” tend to be passive, submissive, inactive and retreating.  They tend to follow instead of lead, they can be codependent and insecure. They are usually always agreeable to the degree that they lack boundaries and a sense of what is actually good or safe.  They tend to feel energetically small and therefore unable to protect and contain a woman.
To the opposite, men who are masculine tend to take the leadership role, they are protective. They have direction in life. They are creative.  They are strong.  They provide. They have good social skills.  They have drive. They are encouraging.  They possess charisma and confidence.  They have high energy levels.  They take positive ownership of the woman in their life. They take action.  They provide containment for the feminine.  In other words, it has nothing to do with whether a guy is nice.  Saying that a woman doesn’t want you because you are nice is a way for men to avoid looking at the actual issue… the traits they are currently not exhibiting that women need in order to feel good.  And guess what? A man could actually possess those traits and be a nice guy at the same time and a woman would actually prefer that guy.
So… why would a woman choose an asshole with those traits over a nice guy without them?

Let’s just look at biology first.  Keep in mind during this explanation that we are in a physical body and awakening is not about transcending the physical, it is about integrating it.  This means what I’m about to share with you is not something that needs to be ‘fixed’ in women.  Physically, for women attraction is about matching up with a person who will protect you, produce healthy offspring and provide for you and those offspring.  The man is your ticket to survival.  No matter how much the modern world has changed things, this is still the truth today for women on a physical level.  A vulnerable male, leaves a woman in a position to feel like she has to ‘do it all herself’ or ‘fend for herself’.  This means, a male who lacks masculine traits inevitably makes a woman feel like she is all alone… maybe with a friendly sidekick or servant.  But it causes her to feel like all the pressure is on her. 

Also, for a woman, fear is woven into her biology.  It is the baseline experience of her life whether she is consciously aware of it or not.  It is something she lives with (like a prey animal) day in and day out.  And when women have people that they care about, like a partner and like children, this fear simply grows.  If you want to understand more about this, watch my video titled: What Every Man needs To Know About Women.  At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how nice a guy is if he can’t provide a woman with the feeling that she is ‘contained’, she will feel exposed to the world and therefore like there is nothing between herself and all the various threats in the world.

On top of this, most of the masculine traits such as confidence, are strongly connected to testosterone.  Higher testosterone means a woman will be more physically attracted to you, especially when she is ovulating.

At all of the different levels of reality, masculine and feminine is different.  It’s a different energy.  That energy takes on different expressions and manifestations. And polarities need one another!  Masculine energy has the tendency to call feminine energy into its full power and vice versa.  It feels good and natural for a woman to be in a state of feminine energy and expression.  But when a man lacks masculine qualities, it causes a flip of polarity between men and women.  A flip in polarity is to blame for so many relationship issues between men and woman today.  A flip in polarity tends to disable a woman from being in her feminine energy when she wants to be.  

When a man is trained to be “nice” by his parents or modern society, he is not actually being trained to be nice.  That’s a smokescreen.  In fact, he’s usually being trained to get rid of his natural power.  He’s usually being trained to get rid of his masculinity.  When a man begins to act passive, submissive, inactive and retreating, when he makes it a habit to follow instead of lead, becomes codependent or insecure or agreeable to the degree that he lacks boundaries and a sense of what is actually good or safe, he is unable to take positive ownership of a woman.  He cannot provide containment.  He does not create security.  He tends to not be very responsible.  Therefore, a woman compensates by becoming masculine.  The tissues of her body begin to armor and become like metal instead of be soft and receptive.  She becomes stressed because all the pressure goes onto her.  She has to take the leadership role.  She has to defend herself.  She becomes controlling and feels totally exposed to the world.  When this polarity is flipped, it’s terrible for both men and woman.  But women end up in pain physically, mentally and emotionally.

I’ve been talking a lot about the fact that if a man lacks certain masculine traits, he is unable to contain and positively own a woman.  A woman actually wants to feel owned.  She just doesn’t want to feel controlled.  But as far as an asshole is concerned, many women would rather choose to feel owned and controlled over feeling like she has to fend for herself but is free.  Not many women like the idea of being “stray”.  To truly own something is to see it as part of yourself.  If you see something as part of yourself, it becomes impossible to hurt that thing without hurting yourself.  You cannot usurp its free will without harming yourself.  Therefore, in true ownership, which is for something to be a part of you and therefore to belong to you, the best interests of that other thing is of the utmost concern. This makes a woman feel safe and secure.  To understand more about this, you can watch my video titled: Own people! (How to Take Ownership of Your Relationships)! 

Containment is not a limitation.  It is a safe space in which something can exist or occur.  When it comes to containment, the best way to think of this is like a clam shell and a pearl.  The pearl feels safe when it is contained in a clam shell.  The masculine serves as that clam shell that enables a woman to be soft, open and receptive.  Imagine removing that protective shell… the woman would immediately contract, go rigid and into a state of defense.  It is a coping mechanism rather than a natural feel-good state of being.  Very few women can live in this state.  Which is why they would choose an asshole who can provide ownership and containment over a nice guy who can’t.  The ones who do it, tend to turn angry, resentful, chronically stressed and bitter.  And those who choose to be in the flipped polarity role in relationships, usually have significant trauma around being controlled (especially by a man), which is why they swung the pendulum to the opposite extreme.

Our subconscious definition of love comes from our childhood home.  This means, for some women who had assholes for daddies, they are wired to feel more loved in an environment with an asshole.  What’s more than that, we all have unresolved trauma and we keep seeking out situations that mirror that unresolved trauma so as to resolve it.  This means that if a girl had an asshole for a daddy and deep down she always wanted to ‘reform him’ and feel loved by him and win him over, she will subconsciously find a man who behaves like him (also an asshole) in the subconscious hope that if he is reformed and if she is able to win him over and if he does become loving, she has just healed her daddy wound.  This attraction stuff is quite complicated.  So, if you want to understand more about this, watch two of my videos, titled: Why You Keep Attracting the ‘Wrong’ Person in Relationships.  And Attraction (Why You’re Attracted to The People You’re Attracted To).

There is a dynamic in some women (especially those with low self-esteem) where an asshole who is aloof and un-committal, triggers her feeling of not being good enough.  This automatically puts her into the position of desperately wanting to be good enough.  She then begins to ‘chase’ the man, trying to get him to want her and to commit to her.  There is an element of challenge in winning a guy over.  But the challenge isn’t the real reason women do it.  They do it because they are desperate for the self-esteem and confidence that comes as a result of it being confirmed that they are not only good enough, but wanted and special.  Suddenly, it feels like if the guy who is acting like you are not good enough doesn’t decide he wants you; you really aren’t good enough.  And if a man who is an asshole will morph into an affectionate, good man and a good dad for you and you alone, it makes a woman feel even better about herself.  This dynamic only appeals to women who have low self-esteem, are thrill seeking (which is extremely rare) or who themselves have commitment issues.  If you are a woman who desperately needs to feel special (especially if that need comes from a childhood wound) you’re at high risk for falling into this dynamic.  Again, this adult life dynamic is ultimately created by early childhood dynamics.

Some women adapted in their life by becoming codependent.  One of the sadder dynamics of codependency is that a person has so much shame that they believe they aren’t good enough to be with someone who is functional and desirable and good.  Therefore, they get into relationships with dysfunctional individuals and place themselves in the “fixer” role.  In this position, they can focus on the dysfunction of their partner rather than their own.  Also, they can always be in the position of the good guy by comparison and thus avoid their own shame.  Some women choose assholes so that they can “fix” them.  Or “love them anyway” because it makes them the saint and therefore, feel good about themselves by comparison.  It also serves as an externalized way of fixing and loving the part of themselves that they feel is unlovable.

A lot of women find assholes to be more honest and straightforward.  There is a lot of talk in the female world that nice guys only complain about women liking assholes because they are mad that being friendly doesn’t get them laid… meaning that nice guys might just be every bit as much of an asshole, but a manipulative, covert one.  Many women see it as an act.  A way of bribing her to give him what he wants.  And to be totally honest, there are definitely some dangerous, sociopathic men who will use this tactic and then pull a bait and switch.  And women who have experienced it, have spread the warning around.

So there you have it.  Female behavior is not simply irrational.  There are legitimate reasons for it.  But the key to a woman’s heart and even the way into her panties is not about becoming a jerk."

Edited February 14, 2021 by knakoo

[Gesundheit]

@Preety_India Yeah, assuming he's seriously interested in a relationship, but what if he isn't? How do you screen that one out? Maybe he's just lying to have sex, and then dump you. Maybe he's scheming in order to get something else, like money. Maybe he's a chronic liar. Such people are hard to detect, ime.

Then, assuming he's passed every test, and now you trust him. What if he changes and starts treating you badly? This is common for people who get into relationships and get married. Relationships after marriage are not the same as before marriage. This is still mild change. He could change radically and become abusive. Or even worse, what if he becomes a drunken violent idiot?

Of course, not all of the extremely bad possibilities is likely to happen, but the question is: How would screening prevent any of them? Perhaps I'm asking: What is the value of screening on the long term?

Edited February 14, 2021 by Gesundheit

[ilja]

This really isn't worth this much elaboration. Theorizing about it is what will keep you from getting women.

Edited February 14, 2021 by ilja

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura I do not see girls being told to do stuff that hinders their survival value. Being nice kind caring and sweet is rewarded by society. Meanwhile the stuff that raises my survival value is criticized and demonized.

Seems a bit fucked up to me even though it makes logical sense. 

No wonder guys these days are so sexless and confused when the society narrative goes against their survival value while it does not for women.

[BornToBoil]

@Karmadhi being strong, being a leader and being confident is also rewarded by society a lot

[Preety_India]

19 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

@Preety_India Yeah, assuming he's seriously interested in a relationship, but what if he isn't? How do you screen that one out? Maybe he's just lying to have sex, and then dump you. Maybe he's scheming in order to get something else, like money. Maybe he's a chronic liar. Such people are hard to detect, ime.

Then, assuming he's passed every test, and now you trust him. What if he changes and starts treating you badly? This is common for people who get into relationships and get married. Relationships after marriage are not the same as before marriage. This is still mild change. He could change radically and become abusive. Or even worse, what if he becomes a drunken violent idiot?

Of course, not all of the extremely bad possibilities is likely to happen, but the question is: How would screening prevent any of them? Perhaps I'm asking: What is the value of screening on the long term?

Screening will not completely protect you from a bad relationship. It's not a fool proof measure. 

However it's useful to remove the obvious ones. At least there is short term protection from abuse as long as you keep screening.. 

Once you have screened strictly, your chances of getting a bad partner are reduced at least by 70%.  Getting a bad guy despite hard screening will be a matter of bad luck and there is no way to adjust for bad luck. 

However if you don't screen then almost every relationship you get into can be easily abusive. This happens with many people including me. They just don't know at all about screening so they end up with all kinds of bad people.. Because in all honesty, as a woman I can say most men who approach women confidently do not have good intentions. If I had said yes to all the guys who approached me,  I might ended up raped or dead by now. Men take it very lightly, they are not fully aware of the safety risks that women face in dating. The more men approach her, the more risk, statistically at least one man out of those men can turn out to be extremely dangerous.  So initial screening is absolutely essential to at least weed out guys who are a potential threat. 

Women are not crazy to simply reject guys. They keep rejecting rejecting rejecting till they finally find a guy who is safe enough to date. 

So screening might not help absolutely because people can change over time, but it can significantly reduce chances of getting scammed, cheated or ruined by fuckboys. 

 

[Gesundheit]

@Preety_India Fair enough. Thanks for the explanation.