Overcoming and letting go feeling judged by my mother

[RoerAmit]

Many times when I’m near my mom I feel judged.

I understand and see that I created this feeling in order to push me to behave  “good” and “Ok”, by her standards, and then - get love from her.

But now, I can see how it’s just an idea in my mind and most of the time I am not judged at all. Yet, I still feel it deeply in my identity, I feel like I am truly bad/not Ok.

How do I overcome it? How do I let go of it?

Good question and insights that will transform me?

Thanks guys.

[Vibroverse]

Live a meditative life. Quiet your mind as much as you can and receive the knowing from your source. 

[Preety_India]

Confront her. Let her know. 

Don't hang around her much. Simply avoid and do your own thing. 

 

[commie]

41 minutes ago, RoerAmit said:

I understand and see that I created this feeling in order to push me to behave  “good” and “Ok”, by her standards, and then - get love from her.

...

How do I overcome it? How do I let go of it?

First things first: if your mom has serious issues and abuses you, seek professional help.

If that's not the case, there may not be cause to avoid her.

Either way, you don't need to get love from anyone. If someone doesn't love you, that's on them. If you don't love yourself, that's on you. You can love yourself even though you're a rascal, just like you love others.

[Forestluv]

Now that you are ware of it, it is no longer you. You are observing it as an appearance. This awareness can help reduce the intensity. Each time you observe it, the frequency, duration and intensity may increase. I’ve had stuff that was conditioned into me that would arise every week - yet I observed it as “oh, that thing again”. At first, it took effort to let it go. Yet after a while, I stopped engaging with it and it lost it’s ‘umph’. It was like background traffic that would briefly arise and then fade away. . . . Yet other stuff was more deeply conditioned and needed some deeper awareness, release and rewiring. 

What you describe is super common between kids and their parents.