The Man Who Can't Be Moved.

[PretentiousHuman]

Help me on how to move on from a girl that didn't like me in the first place. I already have a girlfriend. I love my girlfriend but it seems that the girl I have crush with cannot be off my mind. Thanks for any help!

[PretentiousHuman]

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[Emerald]

On 10/8/2016 at 0:15 PM, PretentiousHuman said:

Help me on how to move on from a girl that didn't like me in the first place. I already have a girlfriend. I love my girlfriend but it seems that the girl I have crush with cannot be off my mind. Thanks for any help!

If you consider that every desire roots from a deeper desire to feel positive emotions or avoid negative emotions, ask yourself which emotion you are after that keeps you attached to this other girl. Do you feel like it would say something about your personal worth? Or do you feel like you'll be able to feel some novel way from achieving the desired relationship to this girl. Then, as you become aware of what you want, you can start to see how external circumstances can't bring you the emotional fulfillment that you're seeking from this girl. No external circumstance has an inherent emotional value and emotions are internally created. So, you can allow yourself to feel that way without the aid of external circumstances going the way you want them to.

[PretentiousHuman]

@Emerald Wilkins Wow, I haven't thought of that before. Yes maybe my mind is just wanting to use the girl as a way to amplify my egoic self. I'm very happy with my current girlfriend and I'm blessed to have her. I'm just attached to this girl and could't find a better way to move on. I will ponder to your great reply and will be contemplating on that. Thank you very much! You have a great day! ?

[Nathalie]

@PretentiousHuman

The most often the ego plays a big role in this kind of situation:

it tells you how wunderful it would be, right?

It shows you so many great situations and how fun it would be..

It perfectly knows how you will like it..

And finally, as a good movie, the show stops in the best moment.. So you want more of it

Till you've reached enough awareness witch will lead you to the deepest reason,

maybe a first step solution could be, to think how it would be after the date with her, I mean every detail, going back home, to your girlfriend, the thoughts you will have afterwards when you're alone again.. Will you try to hide it? Will you meet again? where?

I would do this each time a dream comes up instead of trying to avoid it and finally I would change a little the dream:

I would imagine meeting her in a café and telling her that you really like her and so on.. and at the end explaining her why you will not do it..

 

Don't know if it really makes sense, it just helped me once I needed it..

 

Edited October 11, 2016 by MartineF

[PretentiousHuman]

@MartineF

I vividly imagined what you've just described like I am watching a movie. Lol 

Yes, I kind of becoming aware now that this desires of me with this girl was more of my ego.

I never met her in person but we attended the same college, as I have seen her a lot. 

Maybe, that I have created an image or personality of her that in reality was so much different than what she actually is.

I think that's the ego. Hehe

I love my girlfriend. Even more so now.

But flashes of memories from the past can sometimes put you off the road where you really want to be. 

I really appreciate your time! Thank you very much! 

[PretentiousHuman]

@blazed

Thank you for your time. 

I get what you're saying. Our relationship was in on and off. But I think we're getting stronger. Someone adviced me of that too before.

I will take into consideration everything that you've said here.

Thanks man!