Tried to have sex, my penis didn't work

[Nahm]

@Strangeloop

The instant you stop judging people and namely yourself, your life flips on like a light switch, it feels amazing, and literally everything just clicks and magically works out for you. Every single day becomes an absolutely impossible miracle, a reality sized game of fun and creation. 

You’re literally judging, blaming, and shaming a penis...the actuality of which is infinite intelligence...and you’re pretending you’re not judging...and pretending you don’t understand why you feel, “off”. 

 

[bejapuskas]

You might not be gay, you might be bisexual, pansexual, you might have different preferences on different days, it's not like there is only gay or straight. You might also be very confused about what you are doing if it were to be your first time and you even lied about your virginity. I can imagine there was a lot of confusion going on in your head, perhaps try more times and if even that doesn't work, then consider other possibilities.

[Strangeloop]

@Nahm I don't know how not to judge, is it just the abscence of thought?

@bejapuskas Will do.

[flowboy]

I dealt with this problem when I was 16 and wanted to have my first time. I put the condom on and it was such a hassle that it got soft. Many years thereafter, the condom was always the trigger for me to lose my erection.

My doctor was cool and gave me some viagra so I could have my first time, and push past that giant pressure. Dicks don't like pressure.

 

The second time I dealt with it, I was 26 and trying to participate in a tantric group sex activity. There drugs were not allowed, but I got better advice:

Here's what you do. You forget about penetration, and commit to having a good time without it. Put all your focus on how you can make the experience more fun, regardless of penetration. Just do that and it won't matter.

But don't be surprised if you get rock hard, because you took the pressure off.

[Nahm]

@Strangeloop

No, far more simple. Not something you could ever possibly learn, understand, comprehend, conceptualized or remember. 

Care more about how you feel. 

That is enlightenment. 

[Michael569]

@Strangeloop performance anxiety. It is completely normal to be anxious especially with a girl with whom you are not sexually familiar. Don't make much of it, seriously. If you are a more introverted and caring individual this will happen to you more often than not. If you are -type of guy that sex means to you more than just busting your load than it is very likely that one night stands won't work for you. FInding a partner with whom you can have regular sex will completely remove all these mental barriers and over time the sex is only more and more enjoyable. 

 

[Nahm]

Just now, Michael569 said:

@Strangeloop performance anxiety. It is completely normal to be anxious especially with a girl with whom you are not sexually familiar. Don't make much of it, seriously. If you are a more introverted and caring individual this will happen to you more often than not. If you are -type of guy that sex means to you more than just busting your load than it is very likely that one night stands won't work for you. 

 

Rock solid advice right there. 

 

[flowboy]

@Strangeloop Some tricks that have gotten me through that kind of situation in the past:

1. I tell her that this happens sometimes with new people and not to worry about it. I take the condom off and lay down beside her. I get another condom out of the package and put it within reach. I spoon her and talk to her. After 10 minutes, the talking to each other will have taken my mind off the judgment, and the sensation of her ass cheeks pressed against my pelvis will start to make me rock hard. I rub my cock against her in that position until it's good and hard, and then I put another condom on and put it in in that position.

2. I lie on my back and have her sitting on me. I leave the condom on and have her rub her pussy on my soft dick, back and forth, while I talk to her and kiss her. I just invite her to rock back and forth, enjoying the sensation. After a while, the talking will have distracted my mind enough to get hard, and I put it in.

 

So you can try to get enlightened and rid yourself of judgment, but in my experience you can also save that for later and just distract your mind by relaxing and talking about other things, whilst remaining in an intimate position. And eventually your body will just know what to do.

Edited February 13, 2021 by flowboy

[mmKay]

@Strangeloop Plot twist : Gay / straight is a duallity.  Sexual preference is not white or black, but a wide grey spectrum. You can stick your wiener wherever you want without identifying  and attaching to any single stereotype or archetype.

You are ultimately Pansexual. But are you brave enough ?

[mmKay]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Strangeloop What kind of porn are you most turned on by?

 

 

Now you know why penguins waddle ?

God is a horny motherfucker

Edited February 13, 2021 by mmKay

[Strangeloop]

@flowboy Thank you for sharing, I will try those tricks out@Michael569 This puts things to perspective

@mmKay All I can reply is mmKay ?

[Cireeric]

@Strangeloop It can be just the anxiety and after you done it a few times you will get up/in easier. I think doggy is the easiest, if you have problems to get it in.

[Aaron p]

6 hours ago, Rilles said:

(Viagra)

Thats like a 72-hour boner, I would never. 

You may be gay, bisexual or actually straight. 

Don't just automatically assume that your gay when you have thoughts of men, or even if you do stuff with guys. Your allowed to experiment. Just cuz someone else makes labels doesent mean you have to use them. Fuck the labels, do whatever you want and identify with whatever you want. You might be a straight male who likes looking at dick. 

I think it's extremely possible for a straight guy to do stuff with another straight guy. Also I personally actually do not identify as straight gay or bisexual. I simply do what I want sexually and identify as someone who has no identity. Screw labels. Also I think it has more to do with energetic resonation anyway, regardless of gender. 

 

Lots of things can affect erectile functionality. Looking at too much hardcore porn or jerking off too much is the same as taking drugs. You need a harder hit each time, then when reality comes back it doesent hit the spot. My intuition tells me too much jerking and porn isint good.

Also depression and awakening can affects sexual activity and performance. It's not linear. Anxiety can also affect sexual drive and orientation. The mind is complex

 

Try this as a replacement for Viagra...

"Maca" under vitamins and supplements

Leo recommends it in his vitamins video years ago. 

https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-555/maca

That'll help get your dick hard. 

(You can ask Leo if it works hes the one who recommended it)

Edited February 13, 2021 by Aaron p

[TheAlchemist]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale

Check out the Kinsey scale. There is no reason to categorize sexuality in such black and white ways that we are used to in the Western world. In the field of sexology and also psychology there is a quite large consensus nowadays that sexuality is more of a spectrum than the strict categorization we have been indoctrinated with. I think this idea of the spectrum of sexuality is much more intuitive and makes much more sense.

Btw I don't think having performance anxiety has necessarily anything to do with your sexuality, it's interesting how people are jumping to that conclusion here. 

[Leo Gura]

@Strangeloop Your issue is not one of erectical dysfunction, it's one of adnormal sexual desires which you have not fully owned.

You don't need viagra to fuck a girl at your age.

Use porn to discover what genuinely turns you on and what doesn't.

[Preety_India]

 

Sexuality exists on a spectrum? 

 

[Origins]

I just love how your posts become more and more advanced every time you’re breath of fresh air @Strangeloop

[Strangeloop]

@Aaron p I actually already have bought it, just not yet have used it. I'll start using it

@Leo Gura I watched porn for too long already, it was a substitute for the real thing, I had enough of porn, it's time to go in there and get my dick wet.

@Origins Thanks, but the photo disturbs me a little... Probably because of the fear I feel of the gay sexuality in me. I was paranoid one time thinking someone came behind my back and fucked my ass. Weird stuff I know. If this something I have to conquer, so be it. But I still really prefer to stick to straight sex (if I can make it work) haha ?

[Origins]

@Strangeloop That was sarcasm, but sincerely... All the best there. 

[bejapuskas]

3 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

I watched porn for too long already, it was a substitute for the real thing, I had enough of porn, it's time to go in there and get my dick wet.

Sounds good bro. If you feel performance anxiety or some other insecurity that's ok, it doesn't really matter so much. That's how you think about that, it is nothing serious. You can get over performance anxiety by being nice to the other person and using not only your dick, Leo has good videos on that. You can watch those, even though many things are pretty easy and you can learn them just by listening to the other person.