Daily forum log

[Preety_India]

This

Shadow Work & Emotional Healing (Inner Child Work).

Self-esteem work.

Exposure therapy.

The Sedona method, compatible with Shadow Work. 

Journaling, very important, ime.

Shamanic/Holotropic Breathing.

Psychedelics, I haven't tried them personally, but some people suggest that they have healing powers.

Practicing self-love, as in taking care of yourself and putting yourself before others.

Improving boundaries.

Improve awareness 

[Preety_India]

 

Important thread 

 

what-exactly-does-it-mean-to-confuse-the-map-for-the-territory

 

This thread though 

Other forums

 

Edited February 17, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Yay Finally. Achieved some of my goals on the forum. 

My forum presence has gradually reduced.  I feel better. More at peace.. Within 20 days I significantly controlled my cravings of being on the forum. 

Also the change of my profile picture is a good change. It's attracting less attention than before. So lucky for that.. 

My greatest fear was attracting a lot of attention. 

 

[Preety_India]

OK confined. I'm not going to be on the forum anymore. 

It's tiring. Every time I go in there, there's some fucked up nonsense going on. 

It's seriously exhausting to deal with this. 

And then someone drops some hint in personal messenger which I absolutely do not like. 

I only want to talk to my friends here in personal messenger not to some random dudes I have no knowledge about. 

I wish there was an option in personal messages to avoid strangers who drop by for casual chat. 

I don't appreciate it at all. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I just don't want this dude talking to me anymore. 

 

[Preety_India]

Since March 1,  my forum interaction has reduced by 80%. 

Great. 

I don't feel the need to constantly interact with people anymore. 

Now I can be at peace. 

Also topics don't attract my attention as much.

Now how I interact in the forum is absolutely vital.. 

I want to interact with the cream of the forum not with the crap of the forum. 

So I'll pay attention to who I talk to. 

How I talk. What I talk. If it is  even essential. 

Essential to my work?

Ill maintain a daily log of my forum interactions. 

If there are any notes on what to avoid, I'll include that. 

If there is something beneficial I'll make a note here to keep an eye on those users and those posts or threads. 

 

 

Keep a log on how you do things here. Don't be swayed by bs threads. 

this person is good at playing victim.. Everytime they are held accountable for their behavior, they go around telling everyone how they are suffering in life, how bad stuff is happening to them, a lot of exaggerated and made up bullshit, they are least bothered about what's happening in their life, they won't care even if their entire family is dead, you're dealing with a true psychopath here who has shown zero empathy time and time again, they manipulate others. They are attention seeking, when someone doesn't give them the attention they need, they flip out and start making accusations. Lots of false accusations.  This is their sadistic way of feeling better in life. Completely throw this person out and avoid this person. They are absolutely not deserving of love. Or even attention and sympathy. They try to come across as a Saint but in reality they are a textbook narcissist.  If you ever fall in their trap, the ride is going to be very rough and they will torment you incessantly and never stop being in your life, you're basically asking to be attached by an entity who is going to make your life a hell if you don't cut them out. Their victim behavior is simply an act to convince the world that they are human, in reality they are hardly phased by anything at all. It doesn't matter to them even if everyone turns up dead, they don't have an iota of empathy, they are basically soulless looking to grab some power, evil, evil, avoid, venture at your own risk, once you're trapped in this person's games, you're fucked and trapped. They will do all gymnastics to make you feel guilty and ashamed of yourself.  They have a problem that they won't fix because that problem is their source of power, they are destructive and they will destroy you in the process of self destruction. Never gonna deal with the likes of them again. 

 

 

Edited May 3, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

This

Shadow Work & Emotional Healing (Inner Child Work).

Self-esteem work.

Exposure therapy.

The Sedona method, compatible with Shadow Work. 

Journaling, very important, ime.

Shamanic/Holotropic Breathing.

Psychedelics, I haven't tried them personally, but some people suggest that they have healing powers.

Practicing self-love, as in taking care of yourself and putting yourself before others.

Improving boundaries.

Improve awareness 

 

[Preety_India]

January and February months were spent on the forum as a distraction because I was dealing with a breakup 

 

It was hard to deal with and I found solace in distracting myself on the forum. 

By mid  March I had recovered from breakup Blues. 

 

[Preety_India]

The end of March I began to socialize a bit on the forum. 

This was the last week of March in a bid to make some friends here. 

The strategy failed because the response was dull and vague. It lacked steam. 

Most people were having issues and they were simply trying to dump their issues on each other. 

It was not a pleasant experience. 

The first week of april, I had to ween off my attachment to a person here who I had been talking to a long time, almost the entire month of March beginning March 5. 

I had been dealing with paradoxical emotions during this time. I had developed an unhealthy attachment with this person and it wasn't good for me to keep carrying with that. 

Eventually it sort of smoothened out. 

 

[Preety_India]

Then it was the middle of April and I had opened a journal called House of Phrades. That was mid April. This was the best time because I was finally gathering all the elements together. 

How I was going to Shape my life. 

This continued till April 20.  I made a couple of journals and I thought my journey had finally begun 

I was still dealing with tough emotions.. 

The source of these emotions were family, relationships, the guy I was talking to here with whom I had a faint romantic attachment,  the person I had broken off with the month prior.. Etc. 

 

[Preety_India]

I had suffered severe back pain on April 20 that continued till April 25 and I couldn't make any entries here. 

I was in deep pain. Horrible pain. 

After April 25, I resumed journaling once again only to come across another disaster. 

It happened somewhere, well let me try to remember. 

 

[Preety_India]

Yes now I got it. I've the screenshot. 

I was MAD. I was in absolute fury. Mad with rage.  I was like a mad elephant. 

 

The incident happened just a day before the date of this posting. And I had been dragged to my limit. I couldn't take it anymore. 

I had to put out all of my rage,  out there. So these posts were made on April 26 under extreme emotional distress.. I couldn't calm myself. And it is understandable. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

My period here between April 24 and April 29(this year 2021, just a few days ago before writing this post ) was an absolute nightmare. 

I had to make urgent amends so I did not suffer like that again. 

That's what I did 

 

I spent the last 4 days making all sorts of amends to my image on this forum, to my profile picture, to people that I completely blocked and ignored, messages that I had to delete and block. 

Everything was done at a fast pace. 

I radically reinvent myself and make changes to my boundaries and re setup my entire forum image and presence. 

I had to take charge of the situation, I was too angry. 

I had to show my grit that I wasn't going to be mistreated and made to suffer. 

I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE. You piece of shit. 

So the past days on the forum included radical changes.  

I reformatted the way I was going to post and my focus area and methods of interaction. 

I put on full display all of my resentment built up inside of me against all the abusive nonsense I had suffered on this forum. This was a build up of 3 long years on here. It wasn't easy. I had been patient for too long. It was my time to put people on blast for what they had done to me. 

And I had taken too much. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

These past few days, maybe Leo intuitively realized that I was feeling nervous, upset and bad. 

He sort of consoled me on the forum. That was like giving water to a famished person. 

He came like a God. He made me feel confident again.. I felt better. 

He defended me. Sort of gave me a slight push. 

I felt better again. Thanks to him. He understands me like no other. He is an INTP as well. He knows fully well the struggles of being an INTP. 

We are generally misunderstood and attacked. We remain to ourselves and don't like conflicts and social bullshit. We are rarely into someone's business but we are intuitively aware of what's going on even without direct observation. 

 

[Preety_India]

Last night I had a dream and Leo came once again and told me to be calm. 

Leo was the street lamp. He was the pillar I had to rely on. 

Leo told me to cry on his shoulders in the dream. 

He told me everything was going to be okay. 

 

[Preety_India]

Then leo calmed me down. 

Patted me on my back 

He knew I was going through distress. 

He wanted me to know that this is all temporary. 

 

[Preety_India]

That's when I decided that Leo was going to show me the way out of all this

 

That he was the only one I could truly trust. 

That's what I did. 

I put Leo's border that I created long ago in my journal and changed the entire format of my journals 

 

If I was ever going to look at any person on this forum it was going to be Leo.  

His face would make me feel cheerful.. 

It was as if he was telling me to cheer up. 

And Leo is honest. He doesn't play games. That's the best part about him. 

 

[Preety_India]

And I made a final decision that if I was going to focus on anything it was going to be Leo and my work. 

His words had deeply resonated with me. 

 

[Preety_India]

And then leo had also started the actualized clips channel 

That calmed me down a lot. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm trying to calm down

 

I saw this border. Can look good in my journals.