Daily forum log

[Preety_India]

Keeping a track of my activities 

 

[Preety_India]

Reporting in at 10.00

Just browsed the forum. 

Made an important entry 

 

Will be focusing on conscious forum use

Posted a topic in Society section and let's see how it goes. 

The post in Actualization section turned into a bummer. 

Going to post lesser and lesser on this forum now. I found that much learning doesn't come through posting questions. 

I agree a lot with @electroBeam about the use of the forum. I also expressed this same sentiment in another one of my threads in the self actualization section.

There are other psychedelic communities which are way more useful. 

This forum is also clogged by a lot of right wing shit. 

Will minimize my activity here. 

Only use it for logging journals and self awareness exercises. 

 

Edited February 12, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Today I saw a post on the forum that I really liked a lot. 

 

how to go Meta morality? what are your perspective about morality? for example I develop a framework of Meta morality that is based on chrstianity faith. 

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”

— Exodus 20:3

 

he understandood he is God but the situation he is in makes it impossible because bestality can't be God, the mind can't be God but idol.

saying I am God only makes consciousness to ego. consciousness can't be materialise, which ultimately turns it to the devil, Worshipping devil is sin. because man isn't consciousness but matter too. man is a microcosm being. man contains a mixture identity. 

 

2. “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.”

— Exodus 20:8

 

respecting oneself and God. Worshipping God on the sabbath day. 

 

3. “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

 

— Exodus 20:12

 

he understandood mother and father aren't only of flesh but evey living being of earth are his mother in soul and his father in sprit. 

realized not only physical mother and father but the breath of holy sprit in evey human soul is his mother. and the image of God sprit found on every human being is his father. 

 

4. “Thou shalt not kill.”

— Exodus 20:13

 

not only physical killing but people's ego as well, thier identity. 

 

5. “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

— Exodus 20:14

 

adultery in this stage isn't only of sleeping in flesh but also fornication with soul too. avoiding living from the ego.

 

6. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.”

— Exodus 20:16

 

being clean in every aspect of life and obeying God law's in every directions of life. not bearing false witness weather at work or in every part of our life. 

Edited Monday at 06:46 PM by Conscious life
missing passage

 

 

 

Edited February 12, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Logged into the forum 48 min ago. 

Signed in at 4.40 

Feels better. I'm able to control my forum activity now. Good on keeping track. I am finally getting good with it.. 

No more useless distraction and scattered brain.. Laser focus from now on. 

I never knew I would be retreating back into my shell. But here I am. Once again back to Square One. 

After realizing everything is shit 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Reporting. 

Logged in 55 mins ago 11 am. 

Read a bunch of thread. Responded to my thread andanother one. 

Restricted my activity in this login. 

Will taper off my activity slowly. 

 

Tabular index

 

Edited February 13, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I found this thread on the forum useful 

 

how-to-raise-my-vibration

 

[Preety_India]

Participated on the forum a little bit (trying to control my urge to participate) and then I'm glad I stumbled on a few good responses. 

 

These ones were really good and reflect my mentality. 

It's getting sort of annoying how the word asshole is constantly used when this question is brought up. When I think of an asshole I think of a guy that is downright disrespectful, abusive, shaming and a liar. Naive girls that get walked over will fall for these guys sometimes. Just because you are outgoing, self confident, a little edgy and not a people pleaser doesn't mean you're an asshole. 

 

Edited February 14, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

This thread in particular has many good responses that match my insights. 

Teal Swan why women like assholes why women aren't attracted to nice guys

 

  2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Lyubov Yeah, but girls do love themselves a proper asshole.

I noticed young women will go through a phase where they will date a few asshole/manipulative guys and then either a) repeat this a million times and become more and more neurotic b) learn from it and start choosing better partners. I've also seen guys including myself who were assholes and got laid because of it but upon self reflection realized that is not the person I want to be and grow from it. A lot of people go through these phases when they are young. 

It's getting sort of annoying how the word asshole is constantly used when this question is brought up. When I think of an asshole I think of a guy that is downright disrespectful, abusive, shaming and a liar. Naive girls that get walked over will fall for these guys sometimes. Just because you are outgoing, self confident, a little edgy and not a people pleaser doesn't mean you're an asshole. 

There are more distinctions to be made when it comes to masculine character though over physical beauty I would say. Women get better at smelling out healthy masculinity over toxic. The asshole who was having some luck is masculine for sure but it's sort of a neurotic version of it. Masculine anything will always be attractive to women but the more they are able to tell what kind a man is (if they are wise enough to learn) they will gravitate away from those they know are toxic for the sake of their heart, unless they are trapped in that cycle of associating abuse with romance. 

 

  1 hour ago, Hardkill said:

That's why in all seriousness, I believe that women truly want a man who is more like a true hero or a savior. Someone who neither a "nice guy" or a bad guy, but is a good man who is able to lead and protect his woman (or women), his children, and everyone within his community who depend on him. Someone who is an inspirational ally to good and a nightmarish danger to evil. 

 

 

Lyubov wrote 

"asshole" and "nice guy" are just sort of catch all caricature phrases used mainly by the masses that haven't contemplated the dynamics as deeply so they are a little helpful when talking generally but aren't always clear representations. The nice guy will act sweet and like a total suck up and pathetic push over and then throw a fit when he doesn't get what he desires because to him he was "being nice" so he deserves it.

 

 

The asshole will come off a little stage red. Do whatever to get what he wants without showing weakness and this includes manipulating and abusing. He will lead but his means of leading is toxic like a dictator or through creating some sort of wound cycle the girl has. The asshole will get some romance/sex because he has the general qualities down for masculine/feminine attraction but it will often times be with women with low self esteem and that are naive. There are plenty of women out there like this though so the asshole can stay an asshole if he so desires to or until his girl wises up and breaks his heart in return.  

 

Edited just now by Lyubov

Hardkill's response. 

That's why in all seriousness, I believe that women truly want a man who is more like a true hero or a savior. Someone who neither a "nice guy" or a bad guy, but is a good man who is able to lead and protect his woman (or women), his children, and everyone within his community who depend on him. Someone who is an inspirational ally to good and a nightmarish danger to evil. 

 

 

 

Edited February 14, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

My response. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

My responses. 

Teal-swan-why-women-like-assholes-why-women-arent-attracted-to-nice-guys

 

28 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I think the word asshole doesn't do justice. It's not a correct representation from my point of view. For example I am attracted to dominant males but I'm not attracted to assholes. 

Just yesterday I rejected a guy who was being very demanding, domineering and a perfect asshole. Because domination means he can carry his own stuff, he can do his own thing and it also means someone responsible like a patriarch for the family.. Like a man who leads you.. 

But asshole in my mind is a guy who is downright disrespectful, has no regard for boundaries, acts stupid, toxic, no humility, abusive, uncaring, irresponsible. 

These qualities represent a toxic dominating male, not the healthy dominating male. 

So this assumption that women look for something toxic is wrong unless the woman is not finding anything wrong with the man mistreating her, which means she herself is toxic. 

I dated guys in the past who turned out to be assholes but I didn't carry a meter machine to detect that. They were quite pleasant in the beginning. But as time went, they became quite aggressive and uncaring and then downright abusive. 

So a lot of the time, a woman is simply confused because these men appear very pleasant and polite and thoughtful in the beginning and then the mask begins to fall off. It's their  dating strategy to appear protective to win a woman, they hide their true selves and are very manipulative.. 

And the other distinction is about calling someone an asshole simply by appearance..a guy being punky and edgy, having strong biceps and a self absorbed should not automatically mean that he is an asshole. 

I went through a phase where I didn't know men very well and I didn't bother to screen hard enough because I was naive and I had no idea that you have to screen, I thought people simply fall in love, I dated these asshole manipulative guys out of pure fantasy and naivete. But as soon as I saw how abusive they were, that's where I became aware of the word "game" and the Predatory nature of some men, I became more aware of how manipulative men mask emotions and intent, that's where I gradually began to learn about red flags and gained the maturity to avoid men who were like that. 

Most women who fall for such men do not do it out of random attraction (unless they are very low conscious and are completely fine with abuse) but they fall for such men because they are in the  learning phase, they don't know better, they are simply oblivious and unaware of abusive or toxic dynamics. As soon as they learn more about relationships or begin to research more on abuse, they gain the maturity and confidence to drop such relationships from their lives and get better at detecting red flags. Then they start choosing better partners 

This in no way means that women like or choose assholes. No. They are simply going through a phase in life (especially when they are starting out) and they usually grow out of it after some harsh reality checks. It's just a phase. 

A woman will eventually break up with an asshole once she realizes how it's impacting her. A lot of people go through these phases when they are young. 

And the distinction between a lying, shaming, gaslighting, manipulative, abusive guy (who should be appropriately called an asshole) and an outgoing, edgy, punky, self confident, a bit arrogant is important here. Guys who are arrogant and self confident or a bit obnoxious aren't necessarily assholes. They simply give out vice but they could be good at heart, helpful and kind. They simply have a certain cocky style which could be making them feel better about themselves. 

A woman (at least myself in this regard) is looking for a productive, confident, protective, someone who is neither lame (the nice guy types because they can't protect my future children from getting raped, so I don't want their monk nature) nor the bad guy prototype (abusive, disrespectful, yes asshole) but a man who is both strong, protective and also a respectful golden heart, who is able to lead and protect his woman (me), his children, and everyone else around him who look up to him. Who is protective of those who are good. And stands up against bullies and makes bad people go away. 

So yes women like good men. Men mistake a woman's need for strength and protection to automatically mean "asshole" behavior. 

A man against bad men/evil things  is not an asshole but a fighter.

In essence a woman wants a Benevolent fighter. 

 

 

11 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Btw I've met tons of guys who hit on me that were so called "Nice" but creepy. 

Men aren't aware of this phenomenon. I call it the "Nice but creepy" guys. 

All nice guys who appear nice aren't necessarily nice. The creepy side begins to show after 2-3 conversations. 

Like 2 years ago a guy in America who was simply being friendly and protective of me. Extremely protective. Gave me his number in case I needed any help because I was being bullied by a bunch. I relied on him. I didn't talk to him for 6 months. I had almost forgotten him. One day he sent me a message that he liked me and wanted to marry me. I kinda changed the subject. After that he got very sexual in a very weird way. I immediately blocked him. 

That's where I learned that some guys who act nice and are generally called nice have a hidden creepy side that suddenly comes up after the girl has trusted the guy for long. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Today I read a wonderful post on the forum that instantly uplifted me. Felt better. 

 

your boundaries, sense of self, confidence, insights and level of understanding have improved tremendously over the past few weeks well done! I am truly gobsmacked with the progress you’ve made! You keep firm on your resolve there in weeding people out you’re doing a great job! ?

Edited February 14, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Control control control. Just don't go on the forum..

Avoid this temptation. Please. 

Next time I login to the forum. 

Take a deep breath. 

Write about a dream instead. This will take away the focus. 

The forum is making me negative. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Try to get away from all those triggering threads. 

They are all materialistic 

Not suited for me. 

This forum has a lot of stage Orange that is not suitable for my core values. 

I shouldn't invest too much in it.. 

Stop emotionally investing. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Thoughts on love and relationships

1.Love is a balancing act between the fear of heartbreak and living what’s arguable the greatest experience available to a human being. Worry too much about heartbreak and you risk losing the spell. Lean mindlessly to the experience and you risk losing not your heart but also your sense of self in the process.

2.The moment you enter a relationship for logical reasons alone you rob yourself of the irrational and emotional spark that makes love, love. It’s not enough to be with a person who looks good on paper, as sometimes what you really want differs greatly from society’s definition of the ideal. Be a slave to the list and you will likely only be happy in theory.

 

5.At the end of the day, love is an experience better lived and appreciated when you let go of control. Much like a memorable party, one may have all the ingredients for love and not find it, and just as easily have none of them and stumble into the most unforgettable experience ever.

 

 

Edited February 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm not going to participate much in the dating section of the forum because I don't find the threads useful anymore. 

I'm going to focus on any thread in that section that appears more aligned to my personal consciousness.  

Rest I can simply ignore. 

I don't think the thread should have been locked or at least should have been locked after a bunch of replies. 

It's a Testament to how the website is run, more conscious approaches to dating are suppressed. 

At this point why should I even care about pickup 

It makes me lose some brain cells. 

One thing I noticed is how polarized opinions aren't welcome even in the slightest. 

Do people realize that it dumbs down critical thinking?

Why are the men on the forum so addicted to attracting women

 

Edited February 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

People will have different opinions and thoughts and approaches. I should learn how to not give a fuck about them. Learn to keep peace. Learn to make peace with yourself and the world. Yes a lot of things in this world are "antithetical" and that's how it will always be. 

So after the thread was locked someone came to me and wrote something that I really resonated with -

That’s why You see so many of these posts. It’s about goal or achievement at that point. Somewhat older guy knows that if you first learned how to treat a woman right, you don’t have to chase them. They run to you.I don’t think these posts will ever disappear . I don’t like them either, accepting helps. Like weather

Yes I agree with this. As men grow older they will realize that the key to attracting a woman lies in treating her well. Then women will come to them. If you're going to be a jerk, no matter how attractive you are, women are repulsed.  It's just what it is. Men end up alone not realizing a basic truth.  

Also sometimes I feel like I'm not well received on the forum. It could be because I'm a woman and an Indian woman on top of that.  There will always be an inferior connotation attached to being a woman of color from a third world country. I know this because I feel it. Funny how people would react offline is the same way they would react online. 

I'm so used to this by now that I don't let it bother me anymore. I also understand why the website is the way it is in terms of money. It's a one stop destination for despo ones. 

But once again this is just a reflection of low consciousness in society. Why am I surprised?

I'm at most peace when I'm with myself and no other. It's where I can honor myself better. Social games make me sick in the stomach. I just was never that type. I never tried to fit in or leaned into that "group think "or "peer" psychology.  I was always a lone wolf. If someone admired me I was okay with it. I do get admirers every now and then. But I don't let it go to my head. One of my biggest turn offs is hostile behaviour. I've never understood why. It's mind boggling. Ive always been sweet normal docile polite gentle person around people. 

But being routinely subjected to hostility has made me a bit "distanced " and cold now.  I'm not that sweet anymore as I used to be. I'm like "why even bother?"

I mean the reason why I am polite is not to gain validation. Although narcissists always tend to think this way, the push pull mechanism, where if you're polite to them, they instantly take it as a sign of ass licking or looking for validation and kinda treat you bad or withdraw. And when you are aloof, they tend to respect you more because you aren't being needy, it's kinda unusual because they don't reward kindness but rather reward coldness, and sometimes outright arrogance and bitch behavior.  

Ive often noticed this with men that when I'm rude to them, they come begging   Haha.. Funny how that works. Because these men have low self esteem. Men with high self esteem expect decency and politeness and get put off by rudeness. 

At the end of the day, I think everything works out for the good. If my energy, which is very loving, doesn't blend with someone, it's all good, I'm kinda dodging the bullet, why would I be happy with fake and miserable people anyway. 

I tend to get along well with people who are not into social games and ego welping, who are their true natural self, who are naturally kind and intuitive and patient and decent. I always do well with such people because they resonate most with my energy than any other 

 

I imagine myself talking to an international class of people, and then walking far away to a bonfire under the night sky and sitting alone and asking myself"this is it, I'm better off with social anxiety. I peeked outside of my shell. I thought I would be welcome with open arms and open hearts. But whatddya know? I'm the same whore once again. The same person back to square one. It's the same cycle of social games that I always hated and tried to escape growing up, same old, same old. But  at least I  have myself. "

 

 

Edited February 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

At this point even if someone tried to talk me out of things, it would be seriously futile.. 

I'm become my old version once again. 

The original self.. Within me I feel like I lived a 1000 lives.. 

Social acceptance is such a struggle and not even worth a dime tbh.  

In the end its You and only you. 

Call me miserable for hating society. But my hate stays.. I never think too much about people.  I get fed up with social politics. 

It looks like low level base desire chimpery nonsense to me. 

I always liked the higher order. Where people are about unity and acceptance and sharing.. 

One thing that shields me from people's annoyances is having a soulmate. 

Being with someone is a great fortress.. 

They shield you from petty nonsense. 

Sometimes when I look at people, it seems like they are having an orgy and I could care less. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Why self pity is a solace?

In a weird way, self pity can function as good therapy for the soul. Being cynical helps. 

Pitying myself ends the need to look any further. It's like stress relief. You come to a point of closure,  a sad acceptance. 

Self pity kinda grounds me.  Because then I can enjoy being miserable instead of complaining or resisting. It brings an unusual sense of calm and peace more in a sense like "fuck you "... 

self pity is especially useful when things are overwhelming. You can be by yourself and take relief in your own misery. You don't have to worry anymore about how others are judging you because you are doing that job yourself. It's like liberation. Liberating yourself from the need to be perfect.  This takes a huge weight off your shoulders. 

It lowers expectations from people. You don't feel as much hurt by what people say anymore because you have already pitied yourself and put  yourself in the corner  you simply accept things for what they are. 

You no longer feel the need to be coddled.  You have simply surrendered and given up on things. It's a source of satisfaction. 

It's like not wanting to turn around and simply saying "why do you even care about me? Just leave me to myself. " it eliminates the need to look for love or acceptance by others and simply tells you to accept the nature of things. 

When we fight back hard our energies are in a constant state of stress. 

 

Self pity is also a subtle form of defiance. 

Because sometimes I'm tired of being sweet sweet sweet, even though I'm genuinely sweet, I never fake sweetness, so if I'm sweet to someone, it comes from sincerity. 

But there are times when being sweet can be tiring especially when something that I want to say is polarizing.. I don't adhere to "better safe than sorry"

I blurt it out. There is no point in having tact.  I simply drop the bomb. This is where people see the fiery side of me, which they are least expecting, because they are thinking of me as some sweet innocent lame ass licking kind of girl. But that I'm not. I'm defiant. They don't see me that way

I'm like a chameleon 

 I tend to reflexively change my reaction and response depending on the person I'm dealing with. 

So if a person is friendly with me, then I'm friendly with them. And if I'm nice to a person, and if they don't reciprocate the same, my tone drastically changes from sweet to cold. 

I tend to modulate my response depending upon the cues I get. This is an effective survival strategy. 

Edited February 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Self pity helps me with being closer to myself. It helps in  shutting the world out and bring back all the focus only to  the self. 

Why should anyone feel sorry for me?

I can do that job myself?

 

[Preety_India]

Note to self 

When you are logging into the forum, be aware of the time. 

Reporting 4. 000

Also be conscious of  your use

Edited February 15, 2021 by Preety_India