Is the desire to be alone an indication I want enlightenment?

[Chives99]

Everything about ego is just annoying me, its all the social obligations I have to perform towards family, friends, coworkers. All the stupid meaningless small talk         " how are you"   "shit weather we're having"  "hows the wife". enlightenment teachers say you cant surrender to truth voluntarily it comes when you are fed up of life and are no longer attached to it.  I can't be arsed with a relationship I saw how miserable it made my friends who were constantly on the phone arguing with their partners, noone is happy yet they can't stand to be alone.  Everyone just seems so fake and it annoys me its like who are you kidding with your fake politeness and pleasantries, the schmoozing , the roles they play, their rules. All of its just bullshit and I hate that I have to partake in it when its all a lie like any  of it matters.

Edited February 11, 2021 by Chives99

[blackchair]

maybe you are just introvert? 

[Chives99]

7 minutes ago, blackchair said:

maybe you are just introvert? 

its more than that peoples social games are annoying because of how fake it is, how can people stand bullshitting themselves?

Edited February 11, 2021 by Chives99

[Mason Riggle]

@Chives99 have you checked out Leo's video series on Spiral Dynamics?   Sounds like 'moving up the spiral' to me. 

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

Yes, to me it sounds like you are ready to awaken. You're starting to see through the facade of the Ego... not only your Ego, but also that of the (imagined) Egos around you. You're starting to see that the Emperor has no clothes.

Don't get me wrong, you might still have to invest a lot of time, work and suffering before you finally reach the "breaking point" at which you recognize what is; but the seed has been planted and is just waiting to pop and grow into a magnificient flower -- which has been its destiny all along!

I wish you all the best, my friend. The road can be tough at times, but the destination is worth every single second of the struggle.

Edited February 11, 2021 by Bazooka Jesus

[Nahm]

24 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

Everything about ego is just annoying me, its all the social obligations I have to perform towards family, friends, coworkers. All the stupid meaningless small talk         " how are you"   "shit weather we're having"  "hows the wife". enlightenment teachers say you cant surrender to truth voluntarily it comes when you are fed up of life and are no longer attached to it.  I can't be arsed with a relationship I saw how miserable it made my friends who were constantly on the phone arguing with their partners, noone is happy yet they can't stand to be alone.  Everyone just seems so fake and it annoys me its like who are you kidding with your fake politeness and pleasantries, the schmoozing , the roles they play, their rules. All of its just bullshit and I hate that I have to partake in it when its all a lie like any  of it matters.

“Ego” is the illusion of a subject object relationship, which is only transpiring in thoughts, and is none of the ‘objects’ or ‘people’ it is being credited to.  

[Gesundheit]

@Chives99 Everything is an indication that you want enlightenment, not just this particular desire, because enlightenment is the ultimate desire for the human being.

Your behavior could be due to various reasons, including:

• Self-haterd & judgement of others.
• High consciousness narrative brainwashing.
• Mild levels of autism.
• Certain personality disorders.

[Chives99]

@Gesundheit  I'm just not getting anything out of socialising , its not making me happy because no one is acting real,

[Preety_India]

@Chives99 I empathize with you. If you are sick of people being selfish or fake, that's not a personality disorder

You're generally higher than others and that's why you can see their fakery. You're insightful and so you can easily see through the crap

The only thing you can do here is to withdraw from the crowd that doesn't resonate with your inner core, only focus on yourself and your deeper needs, and try to fulfill yourself in meaningful ways in Solitude. 

 

[knakoo]

"If you don't even know how to be happy, don't have such goals as realisation (enlightenment). They are very far away from you. If you are capable of going through this world joyfully, then you could talk about going beyond. If you are not even able to go through this joyfully, taking about beyond, is no good." Sadhguru

[Gesundheit]

56 minutes ago, Chives99 said:

@Gesundheit  I'm just not getting anything out of socialising , its not making me happy because no one is acting real,

There seems to be different layers to what you're experiencing.

On one level, you don't like how others are acting fake, from your pov, which is basically resistance to how reality is.

On another level, you judge them negatively for being fake, again from your pov, which could be something that you picked up unconsciously from non-duality or from somewhere else.

On another level, you don't think you're getting any value out of social interactions, but maybe there is value that you're not seeing.

On another level, maybe everything I said above is false and you simply prefer being alone for no particular reason. In this case, you're probably nitpicking reasons to dislike people.

On another level, if you really don't like people, then why are you telling us that? We're people after all, and this is probably a fake conversation. Are you looking for reassurance and confirmation from us? What is the value you're anticipating to receive from this thread?

Idk, I can go deeper with this inquiry if you want to, but I'm just guessing here and you know yourself better. So you probably should be the one doing the it.

[Mason Riggle]

Enlightenment can be very counterintuitive.  Desiring enlightenment only moves you further from it. 

Everything is always (already) exactly as it should be.  

“Whether we like it or not, change comes, and the greater the resistance, the greater the pain. Buddhism perceives the beauty of change, for life is like music in this: if any note or phrase is held for longer than its appointed time, the melody is lost. Thus Buddhism may be summed up in two phrases: “Let go!” and “Walk on!” Drop the craving for self, for permanence, for particular circumstances, and go straight ahead with the movement of life.”  — Alan W. Watts

[VeganAwake]

Yes and the grace for the entire situation comes from understanding that nobody really had a choice. Like Leo says "Awareness alone is Curative."

We are born into a conditioned Society and essentially molded to fit and for survival purposes.

The idea that there is something wrong with this is also a form of conditioning. There's nothing really right or wrong with anything just a thought about it.

In one part of the world a certain behavior may be encouraged... and in another part it may be discouraged... it's just a big game.

The beginning of Liberation can feel like you're more trapped than ever.

Keep looking into this and exploring who feels like they're trapped.

❤

[nistake]

If you have the desire to be alone, then do so. Spend time in solitude, meditate, contemplate, write a journal. Don't disconnect yourself completely from others though, so tend to your necessary social obligations, but be alone as much as you can.

Eventually it's gonna come full circle and you'll realize that disconnecting yourself is not the ultimate solution either. Anyway, don't worry about that right now. Do what your intuition tells you.

[Chives99]

6 minutes ago, nistake said:

If you have the desire to be alone, then do so. Spend time in solitude, meditate, contemplate, write a journal. Don't disconnect yourself completely from others though, so tend to your necessary social obligations, but be alone as much as you can.

Eventually it's gonna come full circle and you'll realize that disconnecting yourself is not the ultimate solution either. Anyway, don't worry about that right now. Do what your intuition tells you.

I still have my family around and a job, If i  spend more time with people though than is necessary I just feel like im just stuck in a stupid game

Edited February 11, 2021 by Chives99

[Mason Riggle]

@Chives99 I can absolutely relate to what you're experiencing. It's a lot like being the only sober person at a bar full of wasted people. It's not that much fun. Seek out other sober people. 

Edited February 11, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[nistake]

@Chives99 I know it can be frustrating. I also went through this phase. Do your practises, be patient and trust the process. I'm sure it'll all be resolved in time.

Edited February 11, 2021 by nistake

[gettoefl]

meditation is the journey from lonely to alone to all one

namely it is onerous at first but becomes more and more blissful as it removes the veils of conditioning

[Chives99]

7 hours ago, Mason Riggle said:

@Chives99 I can absolutely relate to what you're experiencing. It's a lot like being the only sober person at a bar full of wasted people. It's not that much fun. Seek out other sober people. 

Yes I've seen Adyashanti too

[Moksha]

Do you see the human in you, and in the people you interact with?

Do you see the Being in you, and in the people you interact with?

Finding the Being in yourself is the first step toward realizing the Being in everyone else. When that happens, it is magical. Humans become humorous, with all of our idiosyncrasies. Beings become beloved, because they are us. 

What we see in others is, to a large extent, what we see in ourselves.