I can't remember the trip, why - 16g Liberty Cap

[steenadrianmr]

Back in september/october I tripped on shrooms a lot. I took a week off from work so that I could go pick mushrooms. Liberty Caps, psilocybe semilanceata.

My whole supply of shrooms that were supposed to last a whole year lasted through mid-october. I tripped a lot and I experienced my first ''ego death'', that's what my friends call it anyways. You can read about it in one of my earlier threads.

Anyways, the last 16 dried grams of 'caps are looking at me, daring me to take them all. So I did.

Long story short; I was tripping with 4 people, 3 of them have taken the same shroom, but in 1-2g doses. I thought we had been tripping for half an hour, but they say we've been tripping for 6 hours and I cannot remember the first 5 hours. I know that 16 dried grams is a nonsensical, stupid, idiotic dose, so please save me the scolding.

This is what I wrote FOR MYSELF, copy paste. This is not a full trip report, but rather a weak description of what I experienced.

I remember there being a whole lot of snacks and pre-rolled joints on the table that S and the guy I cannot remember the name of had rolled. I'll call him Bob Kåre Karl Anton Gustavo Juarez Maxim. We were looking forward to tripping. We had this big jug that we would fill with water. There was also a strainer so that we could filter out the mushrooms. I remember me being last and a little bit late with drinking the tea. This being because I struggled with getting all of the mushrooms out of the jug (a bit unsure how I did it), but also because I had to drink three cups filled with foul-tasting, grimy, sandy, slimy tea. I don't sip it either, I make sure to chug it. After each cup I filled my mouth with sjokoskruer, the smash-like snack. I probably shouldn't have chugged it all in the 2-3 minute time period I did, because 16 dried grams is a fuckton of shrooms. According to the internet a heroic dose of Norwegian-picked liberty caps is 3.6 dried grams, meaning I did almost four and a half times that. I did pay the price though as I would soon figure out.

 

After getting the liquid down I just sat there in the couch with the rest of the gang. Bob didn't drink anything as he was driving home later that night. I could feel an eerie feeling in me and a body-load (heavyness) that I have never experienced before. I always get that tingly, funny, heavy feeling in my stomach when I drink shrooms, but here I felt like a rock. I thought that perhaps this would be out of my control, which is something that I wanted, but not to the degree that I got.

 

I cannot remember anything from the trip other than a few flashbacks of scenery and nightmarish entities mocking me. As always when I am going through a difficult psychedelic experience I am yelling ''I cannot see! I can't see!''

 

When coming down I thought that half an hour, two hours at max had passed by. According to the others we had been there for 5-6 hours. The only thing I can remember was suddenly hearing voices ''name, are you okay?'', ''name, are you good?'' and such. I cannot remember if this was when I was coming down or if this was during the trip, but one thing that is bad for business when tripping is having another friend of yours have a bad trip so I tried my best to formulate that I am good, but having a really fucking terrible experience. I can't fully remember what I said, but they were alright.

 

When I came down I remember lying tired as shit in the couch, my heart pounding out of my chest and me feeling like a fucking spartan warrior that had just defeated a Greek god or something. I tried getting them to understand that I was feeling good by throwing jokes. They seemed pleased that I began to come back.

Afternote: I believe this was after the part where I came down and laid down in the couch, but I remember I had this sudden explosive urge to take a piss. I ran with the force of a hundred horses while doing the liberty-cap wobble to the bathroom thinking I had pissed myself while feeling mighty embarrassed in front of the whole gang. I later heard that I wasn't the only one thinking that as my friend J had the same experience. We found out later we hadn't actually pissed ourself.

 

Visuals: The only thing that I can remember is the part that truly terrified me. There was this blue landscape with bloodshot eyes everywhere. I cannot accurately remember what I experienced. I am able to recall seeing a face. A person who's eyes were made of the light-reflective material found on signposts along most roads. He had a beard. The person I saw was never there, meaning in the ''objective world''. I also recall an evil, malicious and horrifying face that mocked me by doing weird grimaces. Eyes inward, mouth doing a weird thing while being in my personal space.

As we had taken mushrooms as opposed to LSD or 2c-b, whenever I tried closing my eyes the entity was still there as mushrooms still presents visuals with closed eyes so I had no opportunity to look away.

I can also remember my field of vision being expanded to 360 degrees. I could see through my eyelids (I have NO clue if that is what happened, but shrooms man)

I don't know if this is true to the experience or if it is something that I falsely ''remembered'' afterwards OR if I had experienced it in another trip this season, but I recall witnessing a paradox or something that was physically impossible. I experienced something that should not be able to experienced, or happen would be a better word as whatever I experience is indeed able to be experienced per definition.

 

A friend of mine told me today that my brain or body shut down during the trip and that I am lucky that it did. What is your opinion? Why can't I remember the trip except the last part? I am hoping for a better explanation than ''you did too much''.

I am sorry for the poor quality of post, but this is something that has been popping up in my mind since the experience and I am looking for a quick answer.

 

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day!

[BipolarGrowth]

It seems there’s a clear line with probably nearly every psychoactive substance where you black out/lose memory/experience nothing you can recall. I actually had this happen the other day with concentrated THC/dabs. I’ve found the sometimes give a psychedelic effect, so I always do way more in a specific session than the typical user while I also have a much lower tolerance. I probably did a dose 4-5x the regular dose for someone, and I felt a body load which I never felt before on just THC. Within 10 minutes I completely blacked out. I wasn’t asleep as my friend said the next day that I was up for quite a while. I guess the lesson is, less is sometimes more. 

[steenadrianmr]

@BipolarGrowth  I've never had that happen to me, and I have smoked a whole lot. I've had my ex pass out on my brownies a couple of times though

[Carl-Richard]

I partially blacked out on the peak of two of my LSD trips. They weren't even that high of a dose (but I was mixing it with weed). Seems to be a normal thing when your self starts to disintegrate. You enter these highly energetic states which are too semantically dense for your mind to retain in your memory.

Edited February 10, 2021 by Carl-Richard

[cetus]

3 hours ago, steenadrianmr said:

A person who's eyes were made of the light-reflective material found on signposts along most road.

You looked into your own eyes. 

[steenadrianmr]

@Carl-Richard Do you know of a practice that lets me access these memories, or are there no memories to access?

The others involved told me that I was sitting really still in the couch we first drank the tea in during the trip, but also that I followed them upstairs where we listened to music. They told me that they invited me out on the porch for a smoke which I rarely ever say no to, but this time I did. Because I was too heavy I said. I cannot remember this.

 

[Carl-Richard]

9 hours ago, steenadrianmr said:

@Carl-Richard Do you know of a practice that lets me access these memories, or are there no memories to access?

They're not there. You were given a 16 GB file but you only had 1MB storage. Btw, hallaisen ??

Edited February 10, 2021 by Carl-Richard

[steenadrianmr]

@Carl-Richard Beautiful