How important is indicators of interest by women?

[StarStruck]

Women don't usually scan for sexual objects like men do. I asked a girl and they said during the day they are busy with their own hot girl stuff (most of the time) and they don't value scan even when they are in the market for a bf. She said during nightlife or things like that they would scan for guys they like but during shopping/during the day she said they didn't do that.

At the moment there is a lockdown, and the only way to approach them ladies is in the supermarket or on the street. I do get some eye contact from some of them but most of them are just busy with their hot girl shit.

The reason why I opened this thread is to understand the female mindset. Do their brain just work different? Do they think "I'm a hot girl, so I don't need to value scan the environment, the high quality confident men will find me"?

If you are ok looking dude and you act like hot girls, you are not getting a partner. Girls are privileged in this way but I do understand the male/female dynamic. Basically good looking/confident/high status men present themselves to the girls and girls pick from the options that are present (sniper approach), while men have to do a more shotgun approach and approach multiple girls until he finds the ones that are interested.

For the PUA on this forum, do look for indicators of interests? Are these any value for you?

What I noticed is that it is important to project your -non-verbal - high positive energy onto the girl. If she accepts your energy projection (non-verbally or not), it is peanuts after that.  Energy game is so important.

Edited February 9, 2021 by StarStruck

[Hello from Russia]

No, actually they are constantly scanning for it, even if they are not single. It just happens in a subconscious and in an irrational way, they are not deliberately thinking about. Hence this is why they give you such an answer.

In reality, they will look at you and estimate how good of a man you are in 2-3 seconds and then subconsciously decide to get attracted or not.

It doesn't mean that nothing can be changed after this 2-3 seconds, though, it's just about the rapidness of how they will typically judge you. That is why emotional state and your body language matters so much, this is like their #1 source for the analysis.

We do the same exact stuff as men, that's why in women's version of PUA they put so much emphasis on this body projection stuff as well (how they project their beauty and presence on us)

Edited February 9, 2021 by Hello from Russia

[StarStruck]

16 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

No, actually they are constantly scanning for it, even if they are not single. It just happens in a subconscious and in an irrational way, they are not deliberately thinking about. Hence this is why they give you such an answer.

In reality, they will look at you and estimate how good of a man you are in 2-3 seconds and then subconsciously decide to get attracted or not.

It doesn't mean that nothing can be changed after this 2-3 seconds, though, it's just about the rapidness of how they will typically judge you. That is why emotional state and your body language matters so much, this is like their #1 source for the analysis.

We do the same exact stuff as men, that's why in women's version of PUA they put so much emphasis on this body projection stuff as well (how they project their beauty and presence on us)

I didn't know that and I didn't know that women don't know that about themselves. 

When I'm depressed I never get attention but if I meditated or did something to pump up my mood I get a lot of attention from women. 

This is the insight I got: It is like they don't look at my physical appearence. My physical appearance doesn't change in a day. For example yesterday I was depressed and girls weren't seeing me. Today I was pumped up and I got eye contact and smiles. 

Currently not even doing pickup. I'm focused on myself but I did one approach. Unfortunately I broke my state very quickly and I got nervous and she picked that up through the law of state transference. I just excused myself and I left without even trying to get her number. State control is so important. The fucked up part is this: emotions / states can't be controlled. Only way to control a state is by infusing it with mindfulness. 

[Hello from Russia]

@StarStruck Yup, women and everyone, really, is attracted to people in a higher state of consciousness because you're perceived as more powerful and able survival-wise. Presence is an epic charisma boost, so is projecting a lot of warmth or power

You can actually learn to control your state and induce emotions in yourself, it's a learnable skill

[StarStruck]

34 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

@StarStruck Yup, women and everyone, really, is attracted to people in a higher state of consciousness because you're perceived as more powerful and able survival-wise. Presence is an epic charisma boost, so is projecting a lot of warmth or power

You can actually learn to control your state and induce emotions in yourself, it's a learnable skill

Levelling up in SpiralDynamics doesn't provide pussy but levelling up in the levels of consciousness (David Hawkins) does.

[Emerald]

It is a bit different from the female perspective a bit. Women have it too. But it's kind of like how men and women both have nipples... but how male nipples don't develop or function.

Women have the capacity to scan for potential male partners that way, but it doesn't give us the same indicators of attractiveness.

But I have definitely scanned an environment for attractive/compatible looking guys before. That's how I used to size up who I might be interested in (from elementary up through high school). 

And I'm sure that, if I were single and in a social environment and looking for a partner, I might do the same thing.

But generally, there is a sexually neutral feel to most people. A good looking guy might read to me as romantically neutral as a not so good looking guy. 

The element that really attracts me to someone is chemistry. It's the impact that their personality has on me. And this can't really be "gamed". It just has to happen. The control is out of my hands. There is a passive quality to it. It either happens or doesn't.

So, it's uncommon for me to be really attracted to a guy in a deep way. And it isn't really worth pursuing if there isn't that magnetic chemistry element.

But the scanning for attractive guys thing goes on in the background too. It's just that that type of attraction isn't very magnetic, and will probably feel to women as being irrelevant and neutral. 

[StarStruck]

@Emerald a lot of women tell me that. They just let it "happen". They don't do or think about it which I find fascinating. The chemistry element just doesn't happen though. From the female perspective it might seem that way.

Inner state of the male can be developed. If the guy is chaotic, insecure, and not confident, most women will reject him. Girls want to feel comfortable. And if the guy is not comfortable, the woman won't feel comfortable.

At this moment I'm not even busy with pick-up or getting a gf. I'm too busy with myself and therapy. I'm raising my consciousness/mood, my general vibe is raising, and I noticed that girls love the positive vibes; I'm not trying anything. I'm basically being myself and just walking by. Women just pick it up.

 

[Emerald]

10 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

@Emerald a lot of women tell me that. They just let it "happen". They don't do or think about it which I find fascinating. The chemistry element just doesn't happen though. From the female perspective it might seem that way.

Inner state of the male can be developed. If the guy is chaotic, insecure, and not confident, most women will reject him. Girls want to feel comfortable. And if the guy is not comfortable, the woman won't feel comfortable.

At this moment I'm not even busy with pick-up or getting a gf. I'm too busy with myself and therapy. I'm raising my consciousness/mood, my general vibe is raising, and I noticed that girls love the positive vibes; I'm not trying anything. I'm basically being myself and just walking by. Women just pick it up.

For me, it has always just happened.

I'm usually the one to seek my partner, not the other way around. I generally prefer reserved men who don't wear their sexuality on their sleeves. And I like to be the one that subtly seduces them.

It's usually the case that I end up in a social situation where I see a guy often... like work or school or something. Then, over the course of a few months of platonic interaction, I may (or may not) develop those feelings that usually spring up randomly when I think about him at home or in my own space. And then I wonder if he likes me or whether or not something might happen. 

And one very key factor in the attraction process is that there is that ambiguity where I genuinely don't know if he's into me or not. This gives time for tension to build. It's a really slow cooker of an experience where I get to wonder what's on his mind and if I'm special to him.

And from my perspective, a guy approaching me specifically for dating purposes is a red flag in and of itself because he likely does that to lots of women. This means I'm definitely not special to him, and that's a turn off. And also, it doesn't give me any sense of platonic ambiguity and steals the sexual tension that can ONLY build over time.

So, there's a kind of boring feeling about the straight-forward and fast method that cold approach is... as it just doesn't give enough time for the fermentation of my desire to happen. 

[StarStruck]

@Emerald very interesting. For women bonding is very important. As a guy if you can't bond with people because of trauma or a deficiency you are pretty much fucked. Most incels are stuck because of this I think.

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

@Emerald very interesting. For women bonding is very important. As a guy if you can't bond with people because of trauma or a deficiency you are pretty much fucked. Most incels are stuck because of this I think.

That mindset is untrue and unhealthy. The vast majority of people will be able to bond with others. The only hard and fast barrier to bonding would be something like sociopathy where a person is physiologically unable to feel their emotions.

But Incels are mostly just a group of otherwise normal guys with very intense self-esteem and body image issues... and a tendency to resent women for their perceived deficiencies. And this resentment comes from the false assumption that no woman will ever care about them. And because they get into a group together, they add fuel to the fire of each other's self-hatred. 

And it is only their mindsets that makes them feel as though they can't bond with others. So, what it takes is a bit of face-to-face socialization, some mindset fixes, and personal development.