Could you help me transcend redpill thinking?

[assx95]

So, I was in a long-distance relationship with a woman who treated me like shit. I let her treat me like that, cause I was too blind in love with her. Call it fantasy, love whatever. When i told her about how I felt bad because of her. She was in denial and told me to stay away from her.  I deleted her number and unfollowed her on Insta. I've never been taken seriously by women. It always ends up in a mess when I tell them how I feel. 

I started liking this another girl, i was simply texting, and she calls me rude. She pulled away. I was like- Tf just happened? It's been three days, I haven't texted her, nor seen her stories or liked her post. After this many years, I have learnt, that if a woman pulls away, let her go. It will always be worse when i try to convince her or tell her I am sorry. It has never worked. I know from experience. 

So, the fairy tale idea of the one girl who will truly love me, is kinda dead. I hate to play these mind games. I am growing more detached, which is far better than super needy like i was. I'll never look at women like angels anymore. I won't make generalizations cause I don't want to demean anyone here. The games we play while being in survival mode. I feel like romantic attraction is kinda shallow. I can see through my own attraction as well- I don't see beyond looks: The visuals. 

Help me understand, how can there be a true relationship, when both sexes will always be attracted to attractive people of the opposite gender, and sometimes, even cheat?  

 

 

[Preety_India]

True love is only when both love each other for who they are. Even if people call it fantasy, that's because they aren't able to have that emotional growth beyond which they would actually appreciate some human for being a human outside of these myriad ways of judging a body male or female. 

It's not fantasy. I have seen a disabled woman living with her husband in my apartment and there is nothing great about their looks. They just love each other in the most organic wholesome way. It's a pretty sight to see people who love each other without judgement and great understanding and maturity.. 

We play childish games when we are emotionally immature and don't realize that life is so much more than looks or anything superficial.. 

When I feel like a guy is liking me for my looks, I feel frustrated because I know everyday he will only discuss my looks and the pressure to keep up with these expectations. 

True love has a lot of understanding and maturity in it and don't let people gaslight and tell you that it doesn't exist because it does. 

You radiate authenticity and let a person that you truly love them for who they are and maybe one day even you will find someone who loves you for who you are. 

And yes, Please don't believe Red Pill. It's against deep human conscious form of love, acceptance and connection. 

 

Edited February 8, 2021 by Preety_India

[kras]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

True love is only when both love each other for who they are. Even if people call it fantasy, that's because they aren't able to have that emotional growth beyond which they would actually appreciate some human for being a human outside of these myriad ways of judging a body male or female. 

It's not fantasy. I have seen a disabled woman living with her husband in my apartment and there is nothing great about their looks. They just love each other in the most organic wholesome way. It's a pretty sight to see people who love each other without judgement and great understanding and maturity.. 

We play childish games when we are emotionally immature and don't realize that life is so much more than looks or anything superficial.. 

When I feel like a guy is liking me for my looks, I feel frustrated because I know everyday he will only discuss my looks and the pressure to keep up with these expectations. 

True love has a lot of understanding and maturity in it and don't let people gaslight and tell you that it doesn't exist because it does. 

You radiate authenticity and let a person that you truly love them for who they are and maybe one day even you will find someone who loves you for who you are. 

And yes, Please don't believe Red Pill. It's against deep human conscious form of love, acceptance and connection. 

 

I think that you really live in a dreamland.

But maybe i am just seeing the world through lens which doesn't allow me to see what you are saying.

Have you been in a relationship which you are describing? 

 

Edited February 8, 2021 by kras

[Dancer]

5 minutes ago, kras said:

Ok what if i really like some girl as a person, i mean she has 10/10 personality but i am not attracted to her sexually. 

The idea of me having sex with her just disgusting me. What should i do?  

You should allow yourself to see your inner beauty.

Requires some work. Letting go of many beliefs. Closely examine yourself in the mirror will get you here.

[kras]

4 minutes ago, Dancer said:

You should allow yourself to see your inner beauty.

Requires some work. Letting go of many beliefs. Closely examine yourself in the mirror will get you here.

I see the inner beauty, thats way i say 10/10 personality

[Dancer]

Just now, kras said:

I see the inner beauty, thats way i say 10/10 personality

Why do you have to be attracted to her sexually?

[Preety_India]

25 minutes ago, kras said:

I think that you really live in a dreamland.

But maybe i am just seeing the world through lens which doesn't allow me to see what you are saying.

Have you been in a relationship which you are describing? 

 

We both are looking at the world through different lenses. 

Okay? 

[kras]

7 minutes ago, Dancer said:

Why do you have to be attracted to her sexually?

I am just speaking hypothetically but the thread is about romantic relationship. Ofcourse i could be friend with that kind of person

[kras]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

We both are looking at the world through different lenses. 

Okay? 

Have you been in a relationship which you are describing? 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, kras said:

Have you been in a relationship which you are describing? 

 

Yes currently I'm after being in a lot of those pathetic red pill type of abusive relationships. Finally found a man who loves me for me. 

It's no dreamland. You just have to try harder and then by grace you get what you are looking for. 

 

[kras]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Yes currently I'm after being in a lot of those pathetic red pill type of abusive relationships. Finally found a man who loves me for me. 

It's no dreamland. You just have to try harder and then by grace you get what you are looking for. 

 

Glad for you

[Preety_India]

Just now, kras said:

Glad for you

Thank you. 

[Globalcollective]

3 hours ago, assx95 said:

So, I was in a long-distance relationship with a woman who treated me like shit. I let her treat me like that, cause I was too blind in love with her. Call it fantasy, love whatever. When i told her about how I felt bad because of her. She was in denial and told me to stay away from her.  I deleted her number and unfollowed her on Insta. I've never been taken seriously by women. It always ends up in a mess when I tell them how I feel. 

I started liking this another girl, i was simply texting, and she calls me rude. She pulled away. I was like- Tf just happened? It's been three days, I haven't texted her, nor seen her stories or liked her post. After this many years, I have learnt, that if a woman pulls away, let her go. It will always be worse when i try to convince her or tell her I am sorry. It has never worked. I know from experience. 

So, the fairy tale idea of the one girl who will truly love me, is kinda dead. I hate to play these mind games. I am growing more detached, which is far better than super needy like i was. I'll never look at women like angels anymore. I won't make generalizations cause I don't want to demean anyone here. The games we play while being in survival mode. I feel like romantic attraction is kinda shallow. I can see through my own attraction as well- I don't see beyond looks: The visuals. 

Help me understand, how can there be a true relationship, when both sexes will always be attracted to attractive people of the opposite gender, and sometimes, even cheat?  

 

 

To cut to the chase there is only one relationship you need to be concerned about and that is the relationship with yourself. you don't find true love you are true love, so if thats the case, look into yourself and you will find everything you could ever need. Then if you do decide to have a relationship from there on in, it will be based on true love from within and you will be able to connect with them on a way deeper level not based on selfish survival needs. Ideally you hold out until you meet someone who also at least understands this. problem solved. Don't make this any more complicated than it needs be. red pill is created by the ego mind and is lost in the darkness. PM me if you want me to go into detail

 

[Leo Gura]

@assx95 

1) Sounds like you are way too needy.

2) Two girls is nothing. Statistically insignificant. Go find more and better. Not all girls are like that.

Cure your neediness, become a strong attractive man, and you will find many sweet girls who will love you and bend over backwards for you.

I've never had a problem finding loving girls. That's like the least problem with girls. If the girls you're with are unloving you got something weird going on. You are probably attracting that kind.

[Leo Gura]

@d0ornokey Check how you are finding these girls. If you are attracting unloving girls, there's something weird in your way of attracting them. Diversify your source and be mindful of how you're rejecting loving girls. You can also develop screening questions to screen out unloving girls.

SCREEN your girls before you sleep with them! Say NO to girls who don't fit your standards. Have high standards. Cure your neediness. Set boundaries.

[Evil Raccoon]

59 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Say NO to girls who don't fit your standards. Have high standards.

Dude jerks off to random hoes on Pornhub then talks about having "high standards".

[Preety_India]

 

They reject loving girls. But get attracted to unloving girls. 

 

[Emerald]

14 hours ago, assx95 said:

So, I was in a long-distance relationship with a woman who treated me like shit. I let her treat me like that, cause I was too blind in love with her. Call it fantasy, love whatever. When i told her about how I felt bad because of her. She was in denial and told me to stay away from her.  I deleted her number and unfollowed her on Insta. I've never been taken seriously by women. It always ends up in a mess when I tell them how I feel. 

I started liking this another girl, i was simply texting, and she calls me rude. She pulled away. I was like- Tf just happened? It's been three days, I haven't texted her, nor seen her stories or liked her post. After this many years, I have learnt, that if a woman pulls away, let her go. It will always be worse when i try to convince her or tell her I am sorry. It has never worked. I know from experience. 

So, the fairy tale idea of the one girl who will truly love me, is kinda dead. I hate to play these mind games. I am growing more detached, which is far better than super needy like i was. I'll never look at women like angels anymore. I won't make generalizations cause I don't want to demean anyone here. The games we play while being in survival mode. I feel like romantic attraction is kinda shallow. I can see through my own attraction as well- I don't see beyond looks: The visuals. 

Help me understand, how can there be a true relationship, when both sexes will always be attracted to attractive people of the opposite gender, and sometimes, even cheat?  

Women are all people capable of both positive and negative behaviors. 

It seems like you've had a couple experiences with immature women. So, I recommend finding someone that is more mature. 

Also, we can tend to attract people who mirror our own issues in some way. So, also look internally to see if there is something that has lead you to become attracted to these women or to have weak boundaries that allow others to step over them.

[Origins]

@assx95

16 hours ago, assx95 said:

I can see through my own attraction as well- I don't see beyond looks: The visuals. 

Bro start right there, you should read @Preety_India's post about being objectified like that it feels fucking horrible when its turned against them (https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/61072-i-dont-wish-to-be-attractive-to-men/). Becoming "more attractive" etc should be a liberating explorative experience that isn't solely or nearly at all bound by the perceptions of the opposite sex.

I only search for depth (so you can just imagine how many people not just women I screen out based on this). Sex is a part of that of course but its purely a layer of a multiplicity of geometric layers.

Remove all behaviours that you have which may indirectly lead you to objectify women like that. Sure make a girl know that she's pretty if she wants that, but its like not even in the ballpark of what it means to be interacting with a woman. She's just a dude without a dick, a hole instead and different hormones. Seek soul connections.

At the moment it sounds like you're soulless in your view of women, so start with yourself and what kind of relationship with reality you have on a soul level then incrementally move out from there on a value based level, etc.

Edited February 9, 2021 by Origins

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Evil Raccoon said:

Dude jerks off to random hoes on Pornhub then talks about having "high standards".

The higher your standards the more jerking off you'll be doing