Gained more sexual experience but still didn't have sex

[Strangeloop]

So I'm with this girl. She's nice. I escalate with her. We make out, I take my top off, I take her top off, we are both half naked, we grind on each other while making out.

But I noticed my dick was not as hard as I want it to be. That's one thing. Another thing is after she told me that she doesn't want to get used and "burned" like she did from a previous relationship we stopped kissing, grinding etc. 

After we finished the movie and she went home. 

Now I just feel pain in my groin area just below the belly button. And my stomach doesn't work right.

My mouth feels like vomiting... So I don't know...

Maybe I'm just gay or there's more to it than that.

It's like I'm still a virgin and I lied about my virginity. She already had sex with someone else.

It just doesn't feel sexy at all with her, maybe for a short time, but after awhile it gets boring.

I read somewhere that if my dick isn't working properly (not being hard enough) that means I have some psychological issues. That it's mental problems I have that are stopping me from having a strong erection.

Also, after she told me she doesn't want to get burned. I saw these images in my mind's eye about Lgbtq posts I saw on facebook of a male couple getting married. I asked God on why he is showing me these pictures, He didn't reply.

I just feel shaky and a bit hopeless at the moment. 

Can anyone explain on why this is happening to me?

[SamC]

3 minutes ago, Strangeloop said:

Also, after she told me she doesn't want to get burned. I saw these images in my mind's eye about Lgbtq posts I saw on facebook of a male couple getting married. I asked God on why he is showing me these pictures, He didn't reply.

What's the worst part about being gay?

[Strangeloop]

@SamC Probably getting fucked in the asshole and having the obligation to suck a dick. Atleast that's how I imagine it, I never done it though.

[Osaid]

Maybe go no-fap for a week and see what happens, should really boost your libido

15 minutes ago, Strangeloop said:

that means I have some psychological issues. That it's mental problems I have that are stopping me from having a strong erection.

Yeah apparently being really nervous or stressed can make it hard to get it up

Other than that, idk. Idk about the body pain either.

Edited February 5, 2021 by Osaid

[Strangeloop]

@Osaid Well it happend to me in teenage years also, I had to check it out by doctors back then. It's somehow connected with my ballsack, maybe it twisted again while I was grinding so if the pain continues I will call a doctor.

[Osaid]

2 minutes ago, Strangeloop said:

Well it happend to me in teenage years also, I had to check it out by doctors back then. It's somehow connected with my ballsack, maybe it twisted again while I was grinding so if the pain continues I will call a doctor.

Hmm... did you eat a lot before it?

I have had experiences where I edged for a long time and felt some pain near the stomach after, in the same spot you describe. Also, staying aroused for a long time can make you feel sick, just because it raises your body temperature for so long. At least that's what I've noticed in my experience.

Maybe seeing a doctor is a good idea, if it is something your doctor told you about before.

[Strangeloop]

@Osaid Well I ate quite a bit today but it was like 1.5 hours before the grinding bit. 

[Osaid]

4 minutes ago, Strangeloop said:

Well I ate quite a bit today but it was like 1.5 hours before the grinding bit.

Yeah idk then

I'm not a doctor, but it is useful to remember that the pelvic region is activated in orgasm and that arousal can really amp up your heart rate and temperature. I also noticed that I completely lose my appetite when aroused, which may be why your stomach isn't "working right".

Here's a potentially useful article: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324488#causes-of-cramps-in-both-sexes

[SamC]

58 minutes ago, Strangeloop said:

@SamC Probably getting fucked in the asshole and having the obligation to suck a dick. Atleast that's how I imagine it, I never done it though.

@Strangeloop How much anxiety, fear and shame would you feel in a situation where you found yourself wanting to do this?

Rate on a scale from 1-10

[DIDego]

Before i got my driving licence, i had to learn a bunch of mysterious unknown stuff, it took time in every area before got enough skill overall, how to drive and enjoy the ride fully, comes with practice. Trial and error. I have driving a lot of different cars, some for many years and some 1 day. 

[Leo Gura]

@Strangeloop Do you jerk off to porn of hot women?

If not, then you gay.

[ItsNick]

@Strangeloop It's no problem if you're gay (or bisexual or asexual).

I understand it's probably difficult for you now because "being straight" has been part of your identity for so long.

 

Try to explore your sexuality. What turns you on? What do you jerk off to? What people you see on the street turn you on? Any childhood memories that can give a hint?

 

Either way there's no problem. Your job is to discover who you are. And then be you.

[Hello from Russia]

I had problems with erection too with my first time(-s). From what I know many people have it during their first times and it's totally normal. The anxiety you have is totally normal too, It should go away fairly quickly after you start having sex

[AtheisticNonduality]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Strangeloop Do you jerk off to porn of hot women?

If not, then you gay.

No, jerking off to internet porn girls = gay. Jerking off to hot women in real life = sophisticated.

2 hours ago, modmyth said:

I'm pretty sure there are at least a few gay tops who do neither (they sound fun to be with though). And then the guys who receive bjs/ give dick but don't identify as gay/ bisexual.

Your interests are interesting.

[Leo Gura]

@AtheisticNonduality Whatever helps you sleep at night.

[mmKay]

3 hours ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

No, jerking off to internet porn girls = gay. Jerking off to hot women in real life = sophisticated.

Your interests are interesting.

Tell that to Louis CK

 

 

 

Edited February 6, 2021 by mmKay

[Origins]

@Leo Gura I never jerk off to porn. I don’t even watch porn. I jerk off to one woman only, it increases the likelihood of my own monogamy, decreases if I don’t. But that’s not the only reason why I do it of course otherwise I’d have no interest in her. She’s an amazing woman needless to say.

Porn is just... meh.... has been for a few years now.
 

@Strangeloop test your sexual boundaries find what works self awareness throughout as always.

Edited February 6, 2021 by Origins

[Nahm]

@Strangeloop

Sometimes signs & symptoms point to conditioning in unusual ways. Generations prior often misidentified by using sexual preference. When confronted with the reality not all preferences fit inside the black & white lens of misidentification, sometimes anger, guilt, shame, and the like are projected offensively, reaction-ally defending being ‘right’, about the misidentification. Don’t hold out for this to make sense. It won’t ever make any sense. It just seems to be what happens sometimes.

Spot the suffering they bear in holding onto to being ‘right’. Let that suffering be between their conditions held & the unconditional love they are. 

Work on your own reception with unconditional love in letting conditions go. Spot conditions you’re holding. Like something’s wrong, and you need hope. Or that something is happening to you, or that there would be a reason. 

Without letting those conditions upon unconditional love go, the next generation will talk shit about our conditioning. 

While we’re at it though, apparently the old timers would propose ‘why something is wrong’ questions to unconditional love, and expect conditioned answers to somehow come, from unconditional love. This also will not make sense, so don’t hold out. I’ve also heard holding these tensions led to a lot of money being made from erectile medications. I wouldn’t know anything about that. Love you, wish you the best! 

 

[Origins]

@Nahm Unconditional love is so tough. I’m there with it some days perfectly and others battling my own attachment style, I’m getting better and better at it though. You’ve just gotta maintain focus on self awareness as being the end game goal to the finish line there. Good comment.

[Strangeloop]

@SamC 10 meaning very anxious, fearful.

@Leo Gura Well, I usually watch straight porn, but I see myself looking more at the guy more than the girl... And that means *drumroll* I'm gay.....