How to stop adding additional layers to the ego?

[Endangered-EGO]

I have the issue, that during the day I often instead of not-manipulating thoughts and ego I just add another ego-layer on top of it. Which seems to be counterproductive but might be just an other step in that journey. It goes like this: thought --> recognising thought (in head) --> spiritual thought --> switching awareness --> spiritual thought --> forgetting it --> repeating it
Here is an example:
"Oh shit I forgot to make a payment"-thought  --> recognising the thought and fear --> "oh I shouldn't resist that thought"-thought --> focusing on sight (instead of thought-space in the head) --> "what do I do now?"

One thing that helped once, was contemplating free will and differentiating between "random thoughts" and "controlled thoughts" which is obviously an illusory duality, and realised they were just thoughts. That insight gave me some kind of liberation, but the spiral seems to never end. There are all the types of identification possible. The ego -The spiritual ego- the perceiver of sensation - the switcher/controller of awareness and more - the allower of ego etc.

I'm sure there are many more I am not aware of. 

So what's the solution to that, just observing what happens until it doesn't feel like "I" am doing that anymore?


The only time there is no real identification is when I fear "death". The fear of death seems to make everything happen on it's own including movement of the body.

I am going to contemplate language, and I want to try to consciously induce layers to the ego, for the sake of seeing that every layer is a layer.


 

[Mason Riggle]

Recognize that 'you', the experiencer of your experience, doesn't 'do' anything other than 'experience your experience', and it's always doing that without ever trying to.   You are 'being you' automatically, in every moment.  

'Trying to be yourself' and 'trying not to be yourself' are the same thing.. they are both 'what you are doing', which is 'being you', and you're always doing that, without ever trying. 

Edited February 5, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[WelcometoReality]

@Endangered-EGO You're starting to become aware of your thoughts and that can feel overwhelming but it's a step in the right direction. Thoughts can come at any time and no need to put so much attention to them. Maybe a mindfulness practice where you hone in on your other sensations could be helpful. 

[Endangered-EGO]

@Mason Riggle so being mindful of how I am adding additional layers into the ego. Won't that lead to me identifying with the recognizer of it?  

I guess I just need to be mindfull that the adding layers just is the same ego as the first layer which never stops.

@WelcometoReality yes, but mindfullness made me add an additional layer in the first place ^^ mindful of mindfulness might be the answer.

[PureRogueQ]

You are doing it anyway, when it comes to thoughts, feelings, actions. what you can do is recognise that it is true, it is there without judgement or anything really, if you will try to work trough it you will just create more story out of what is arising. It is good place to start, but it is just one dimension 

of your experience. 

 

[Endangered-EGO]

@PureRogueQ How? do-nothing meditation? Working with shinzen young's recognition of intention seems to stop the creation of additional layers.

[PureRogueQ]

11 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

@PureRogueQ How? do-nothing meditation? Working with shinzen young's recognition of intention seems to stop the creation of additional layers.

You do not need to mediate, just like you are now, do you need to mediate to see what is going on in your experience now? 

[Nahm]

@Endangered-EGO

There are absolutely no layers. No one has ever experienced an ego.  The “layers” and “ego” are content of thought. Call “bamboozled!” and move on to what works. 

The direct experience of appearing thoughts is that of one ‘finite’ thought at a time. Thought A, then thought B, and so on. 

Thought A has no comprehensive relationship whatsoever to thought B.

In unknowingly imposing or assuming a relation, we become “the knower”, aka, the sleeper. That apparent separate self (“knower”)  seems to fill that gap. The actuality of that “gap” is actual you. (Awareness, consciousness, infinite being, etc)

I would leave the thought paradigm, and move to the focus paradigm. The point of meditation is the quieting of the monkey mind, and experiencing life as you, not as a monkey. There is a pluthera of concentration and focus ever available, and it’s realized as the chatter quiets. 

All of the thinking about the meditation is still the veil of the knower. Looking to thought to resolve thought is like looking to a butcher to help you be vegan. It won’t be found there. In returning focus to breathing from your stomach, or trying different meditations to feel and or release emotion is more efficient. I would not recommend the Do Nothing practice until monkey mind is quieted, awareness is directly experienced, and emotional equanimity is established. 

[Endangered-EGO]

@Nahm Yes the inbetween thought practice is really helpful, however, there is possible identification with the stopper of thoughts, the intention or the act of stopping thought and the switcher of awareness. Which is also imo a layer. Maybe I should just focus on the inbetween switch and not the switch. the after the stop and not the stop.

[Nahm]

@Endangered-EGO

Stopper of thoughts? 

[VeganAwake]

7 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

yes, but mindfullness made me add an additional layer in the first place ^^ mindful of mindfulness might be the answer.

But the layers aren't real, that's the illusory self that can be seen through ❤

[WelcometoReality]

11 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

@WelcometoReality yes, but mindfullness made me add an additional layer in the first place ^^ mindful of mindfulness might be the answer.

Yeah it might be worth investigating. ?

[Endangered-EGO]

10 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Endangered-EGO

Stopper of thoughts? 

Stopping thoughts seems to be a conscious controlled action for me. Which I know is as illusory because nothing is controlling anything

 

9 hours ago, VeganAwake said:

But the layers aren't real, that's the illusory self that can be seen through ❤

I know, I am often fooled into the illusion of controlling and acting. Basically an identified part of me is fighting the not-identified part. Random thoughts are in opposition to controled thoughts. Of course that's illusory. 

[VeganAwake]

3 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

Stopping thoughts seems to be a conscious controlled action for me. Which I know is as illusory because nothing is controlling anything

 

I know, I am often fooled into the illusion of controlling and acting. Basically an identified part of me is fighting the not-identified part. Random thoughts are in opposition to controled thoughts. Of course that's illusory. 

The separate sense of self would expect there to be a grand firework show upon awakening because that's what it thinks must happen, but It can also actually be quite ordinary.

It's a disentangling from the socially conditioned Matrix of mind known as 'ME' ❤

[Mason Riggle]

@Endangered-EGO you can't stop 'being how you are' because you're not doing it. 'You' are something that is happening, not something that 'does things'. 

Can you stop growing your hair? No, because you aren't doing that. Your hair is growing. 

 

Can you 'change your thoughts'? No, because you aren't thinking your thoughts. Your thoughts are thinking.

[Endangered-EGO]

52 minutes ago, VeganAwake said:

The separate sense of self would expect there to be a grand firework show upon awakening because that's what it thinks must happen, but It can also actually be quite ordinary.

It's a disentangling from the socially conditioned Matrix of mind known as 'ME' ❤

I know that, and I agree with that, the realisation of the awakening you mentioned was ordinary and grounded without firework for me. Unfortunately not permanent, because I am fooled into being the actor often again. I think I am just going to laugh next time I realise I feel like the actor, I don't know what else "I" could do haha.

[Mason Riggle]

Nothing/Everything can only seem like 'something' by pretending it's not what it is. 

[VeganAwake]

35 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

I know that, and I agree with that, the realisation of the awakening you mentioned was ordinary and grounded without firework for me. Unfortunately not permanent, because I am fooled into being the actor often again. I think I am just going to laugh next time I realise I feel like the actor, I don't know what else "I" could do haha.

?

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players"

- William Shakespeare