Do you think this girl was right to block me?

[Hardkill]

Hey guys, so recently I've been trying to hit up girls on Facebook to at least have kind of practice in my conversation and seduction skills with women in some safe way without risking getting COVID. So lately I hit up this one girl on Facebook who I first became acquainted with during my 3rd third year as an undergraduate at UCLA and this is how it went: 

Me: hey xxxxx. Idk if u remember me, but I believe that u went to UCLA to study as a math major. We met when I was a junior and u were a         sophmore. 

In any case, I just wanted to say hi.

Her: Hey there! That does sound like me lol

Me: So, have u been an airplane pilot for a while?

Her: I've been flying for 7 years, but getting paid to do it for about 4. What have you been up to?

Me: Oh right on. So, you've been practicing it for a while.

I am in grad school studying for my degree in education.

Btw, do u always take part in the mile high clubs? 

 

After I sent that last message to her she blocked me. I don't totally get it. I mean, I thought that I made a funny sexual joke. What's your take on this guys?

 

 

 

 

 

[Emerald]

If you PM'd her, she probably was like "Uh oh. Here's another guy sliding into my DMs. I guess I'll tolerate it for a bit if he isn't weird about it."

This is something that happens relatively often where guys will PM on Facebook if they're interested, so I'm sure that she's had precedent for it.

So, when you went to a sexual place, it probably just confirmed her suspicions and she shut the conversation down there. 

Basically, it's not a great idea to begin with to try to make connections that way. But if you do, you definitely don't want to bring it to somewhere sexual, even as a joke. That's an in-person thing. 

[Ananta]

27 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Btw, do u always take part in the mile high clubs? 

 

Yeah, this was too much.

[Chew211]

What Emerald said, and also the jarring shattering of congruence. 

You started the conversation like a normal chat, and then suddenly try to make it sexual/humourous in a dirty way. 

I make dirty jokes with girls too, but either they are friends or I've already done the didily with them-- and also, in person, not over text. 

[Chew211]

3 minutes ago, Ananta said:

Yeah, this was too much.

And an incorrect usage of "mile high club"-- it's something that you become a member of after doing it once. It's not something always occuring that you join in on, like an orgy. 

[Roy]

Let's go slightly meta on this, even asking "was this girl right to block me?" is a partial failure on your part because you are asking the question with bias. Within your own questioning you're implying as if the girl already knows you're a great guy who isn't a pervert, which you very likely aren't you just meant to joke around.

Look at it from her perspective though, would you consider blocking that person? That might give you your answer. Adjust your behavior accordingly.

[Abdelghafar]

2 minutes ago, Roy said:

Let's go slightly meta on this, even asking "was this girl right to block me?" is a partial failure on your part because you are asking the question with bias. Within your own questioning you're implying as if the girl already knows you're a great guy who isn't a pervert

Wise words.

[Preety_India]

Lol. You ruined everything. Why be sexual right away? 

You can't really be sexual in text, since you don't see their facial expressions. 

You have to be friends with a person. Get to know them. 

A lot of women don't take sexual cues or hints as a good sign. 

We as women are extremely sensitive to it because we've been sensitized to any sexual hints since a young age. 

A woman can sense a man's sexual energy right off the bat. 

I can sense in text if a man is "that type" even when he is not saying that sexual. That's what women among themselves think of it. We think of it as "that type" which basically means "a guy only looking for sex aka fuckboy" 

Such guys are extremely unattractive to most women. We have been honed at a young age to screen out any signs and signals of men who fall in the category of "that type" 

That's basically the first screening stage. Most women want to make sure right away that they are not  dealing with "that type" either in the capacity of a friend or lover/love interest. 

So when we see a guy approaching in any manner, physical or text, especially if he is a stranger, all our senses are hyper corrected and tuned to immediately catch any signs of "that."

Its like a huge red siren inside the head that keeps rotating when the guy is talking, and with the first hint, the siren lights up and starts sounding and we go BLOCK. it's an instant visceral reaction to anything that threatens our sexual security. 

The priorities of women's general needs are such 

• Sexual safety 
• Not an ax murdering type 
• Basic needs like financial and home. 
• Caring, love and affection 
• Kind and sweet 
• Entertaining and humorous 
• Responsible, honest, and trustworthy and "can make it happen" 
• The "right guy" crown 

Sexual safety is one of the biggest priorities for a woman and she will do a lot of hard checking to ensure that this part is not messed up.. 

She doesn't want to be taken advantage of, get pumped dumped, used for lay count,or raped, or be used as a sex toy etc. She doesn't want to lose that which she holds dear - that sliver of dignity that she carries with her all her life. 

That's the philosophy underneath a woman's strong reaction to anything that threatens her sliver of sexual safety. 

So she will have sex only and only when she realizes the guy is totally safe at least for the first and second item on the checklist. 

You've to be able to cross this barrier before she can even think about talking to you. 

Even if she doesn't block you, she will keep a watchful eye. Her eyes will be darting around like a scanner to keep collecting more clues in that direction and make the final call "this is it, I knew it, not this guy." 

So you have to keep in mind that while wanting to date a woman first create sexual safety for her. 

 

[At awe]

Of course. People block for different reasons. I think that it’s important NOT to assume that it would happen next time also?

[Hardkill]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

If you PM'd her, she probably was like "Uh oh. Here's another guy sliding into my DMs. I guess I'll tolerate it for a bit if he isn't weird about it."

This is something that happens relatively often where guys will PM on Facebook if they're interested, so I'm sure that she's had precedent for it.

So, when you went to a sexual place, it probably just confirmed her suspicions and she shut the conversation down there. 

Basically, it's not a great idea to begin with to try to make connections that way. But if you do, you definitely don't want to bring it to somewhere sexual, even as a joke. That's an in-person thing. 

 

1 hour ago, Ananta said:

Yeah, this was too much.

 

1 hour ago, Chew211 said:

What Emerald said, and also the jarring shattering of congruence. 

You started the conversation like a normal chat, and then suddenly try to make it sexual/humourous in a dirty way. 

I make dirty jokes with girls too, but either they are friends or I've already done the didily with them-- and also, in person, not over text. 

Okay, I see what you guys are saying, but I still don't totally get it. Why is it only okay with girls you are friends with or have already done the didily with them? Also, How come it's okay when comedians on stage or on camera make all kinds of crude sexual jokes to a massive audience of people who are all complete strangers to them? I at least met the girl who blocked me on Facebook and she remembered as a decent looking guy who is cool. 

As for congruence, I thought that women aren't logical and get stimulated by emotional inspirations. Even Leo said that girls are turned on by dumb playful words you say than by logical typical words.

Yeah, it still doesn't make sense to me yet.

Edited February 5, 2021 by Hardkill

[Hardkill]

27 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Lol. You ruined everything. Why be sexual right away? 

You can't really be sexual in text, since you don't see their facial expressions. 

You have to be friends with a person. Get to know them. 

A lot of women don't take sexual cues or hints as a good sign. 

We as women are extremely sensitive to it because we've been sensitized to any sexual hints since a young age. 

A woman can sense a man's sexual energy right off the bat. 

I can sense in text if a man is "that type" even when he is not saying that sexual. That's what women among themselves think of it. We think of it as "that type" which basically means "a guy only looking for sex aka fuckboy" 

Such guys are extremely unattractive to most women. We have been honed at a young age to screen out any signs and signals of men who fall in the category of "that type" 

That's basically the first screening stage. Most women want to make sure right away that they are not  dealing with "that type" either in the capacity of a friend or lover/love interest. 

So when we see a guy approaching in any manner, physical or text, especially if he is a stranger, all our senses are hyper corrected and tuned to immediately catch any signs of "that."

Its like a huge red siren inside the head that keeps rotating when the guy is talking, and with the first hint, the siren lights up and starts sounding and we go BLOCK. it's an instant visceral reaction to anything that threatens our sexual security. 

The priorities of women's general needs are such 

• Sexual safety 
• Not an ax murdering type 
• Basic needs like financial and home. 
• Caring, love and affection 
• Kind and sweet 
• Entertaining and humorous 
• Responsible, honest, and trustworthy and "can make it happen" 
• The "right guy" crown 

Sexual safety is one of the biggest priorities for a woman and she will do a lot of hard checking to ensure that this part is not messed up.. 

She doesn't want to be taken advantage of, get pumped dumped, used for lay count,or raped, or be used as a sex toy etc. She doesn't want to lose that which she holds dear - that sliver of dignity that she carries with her all her life. 

That's the philosophy underneath a woman's strong reaction to anything that threatens her sliver of sexual safety. 

So she will have sex only and only when she realizes the guy is totally safe at least for the first and second item on the checklist. 

You've to be able to cross this barrier before she can even think about talking to you. 

Even if she doesn't block you, she will keep a watchful eye. Her eyes will be darting around like a scanner to keep collecting more clues in that direction and make the final call "this is it, I knew it, not this guy." 

So you have to keep in mind that while wanting to date a woman first create sexual safety for her. 

 

I see what you're saying, but the problem with doing everything that you are suggesting would put me in the friend zone. Even Leo has said that you have to start out sexual right away with any girl you're trying to seduce so that she immediately perceives you as a sexual alpha male and not some nice guy who gives of the needy vibe of "I hope she likes me."

 

36 minutes ago, Roy said:

Let's go slightly meta on this, even asking "was this girl right to block me?" is a partial failure on your part because you are asking the question with bias. Within your own questioning you're implying as if the girl already knows you're a great guy who isn't a pervert, which you very likely aren't you just meant to joke around.

Look at it from her perspective though, would you consider blocking that person? That might give you your answer. Adjust your behavior accordingly.

No, I honestly wouldn't have blocked myself if I were her, in my opinion.

 

[Preety_India]

15 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Okay, I see what you guys are saying, but I still don't totally get it. Why is it only okay with girls you are friends with or have already done the didily with them?

Because in such situations the woman feels more sexually safe around the man. 

 

Quote

Also, How come it's okay when comedians on stage or on camera make all kinds of crude sexual jokes to a massive audience of people who are all complete strangers to them?

This is because they're talking to a crowd of men and women. They are not in an intimate conversation with one woman.

If the crowd was totally empty and there was only one woman sitting there alone in a big hall and the comedian started sexual jokes, she would be visibly uncomfortable and get up and leave. 

Quote

I at least met the girl who blocked me on Facebook and she remembered as a decent looking guy who is cool. Still doesn't make sense to me yet

That doesn't matter. That was long ago and she won't think much of it. She wants to know who you're today. 

Edited February 5, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

 I see what you're saying, but the problem with doing everything that you are suggesting would put me in the friend zone. Even Leo has said that you have to start out sexual right away with any girl you're trying to seduce so that she immediately perceives you as a sexual alpha male and not some nice guy who gives of the needy vibe of "I hope she likes me."

You've mistaken what Leo says. 

Leo tells you to first look at the girl. See if she is interested and (whatever) and then get sexy with her. Not before building interest. 

You simply cannot walk up to a girl and start sexual without having studied her at first. 

Sometimes it could go horribly wrong you know. 

 

[Hardkill]

26 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Because in such situations the woman feels more sexually safe around the man. 

I get the safety, but I thought that if you play it too safe then she won't be excited. She will see you as a boring guy who has no balls.

26 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

This is because they're talking to a crowd of men and women. They are not in an intimate conversation with one woman.

If the crowd was totally empty and there was only one woman sitting there alone in a big hall and the comedian started sexual jokes, she would be visibly uncomfortable and get up and leave. 

Hmm, okay I think I understand this. I wonder if others on here would agree with this. Not trying to argue. Just trying to get a consensus.

26 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

That doesn't matter. That was long ago and she won't think much of it. She wants to know who you're today. 

Yeah, I guess you're right.

 

20 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You've mistaken what Leo says. 

Leo tells you to first look at the girl. See if she is interested and (whatever) and then get sexy with her. Not before building interest. 

You simply cannot walk up to a girl and start sexual without having studied her at first. 

Sometimes it could go horribly wrong you know. 

 

Well, I've tried researching and reading up on everything I can on how to read for the right cues and I've even tried practicing on hundreds of women IRL (which is way more than most men would even dare try) and I've even tried practicing on countless on all kinds of online dating sites and apps. It's struggle for me to truly understand it. I even received so much coaching from various dating coaches to help me out and almost all of them had let me down. For over a decade, I've given virtually everything I got to try to understand women and improve my skills on how to attract and yet I still feel so inadequate and a lot of times hopeless. 

 

 

 

Edited February 5, 2021 by Hardkill

[Leo Gura]

@Hardkill Look, bro, you can't build sexual attraction via text. Not a good use of your time.

If she is not already sexually attracted to you, no sneaky magic line will make her.

When you go sexual too soon in the pickup you end up looking like a creep.

When you flirt with her, make it more innocent and cute rather than sexual. Then it won't come off as creepy. But still, don't fool yourself that some magic of words will make her want you.

You need to build attraction face to face.

And when they reject you, don't care about it. You will get rejected A LOT. And sometimes HARD.

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

I get the safety, but I thought that if you play it too safe then she won't be excited. She will see you as a boring guy who has no balls.

At least play safe in the initial phase. You can try a bit of flirting after you have gained her confidence. 

But you can't be flirty is she isn't ready for it. Try to be a good friend first 

Then check if she gives you attention and looks at you or sends you hints that she really likes you. 

If she likes you, you can start flirting. 

If she hasn't made up her mind and if you start flirting, she will see you as needy and not talk. 

The key is to keep a proper balance between boring and flirty. 

Don't be too boring after she has shown interest.

Dont be too flirty before she has shown interest.

Keep balance. Play safe. 

 

[Hardkill]

41 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Hardkill Look, bro, you can't build sexual attraction via text. Not a good use of your time.

If she is not already sexually attracted to you, no sneaky magic line will make her.

When you go sexual too soon in the pickup you end up looking like a creep.

When you flirt with her, make it more innocent and cute rather than sexual. Then it won't come off as creepy. But still, don't fool yourself that some magic of words will make her want you.

You need to build attraction face to face.

And when they reject you, don't care about it. You will get rejected A LOT. And sometimes HARD.

Yeah, I know that there's no magic or magic lines that make any women want to sleep with you. However, I still a lot of times don't get how or when get sexual or more sexual with women. Make it more innocent and cute how without getting into the friend zone?

I thought that sexual attraction can be built up through text, like how women get turned on by reading those erotic books. 

I know I will get rejected a lot and I have already been reject by countless more women, certainly WAY WAY than most men ever have within each of their entire lives. Some of the rejections were indeed HARD. That's why even after all of the therapy I've gotten and trying different ways to cope with all of the rejection I've gotten I still feel like my ego has been scarred for life and I may never be the same again. 

Edited February 5, 2021 by Hardkill

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Hardkill said:

I thought that sexual attraction can be built up through text, like how women get turned on by reading those erotic books. 

For her to be that sexually comfortable with you, you will need to establish a bond?

Did you establish a bond? 

 

[Hardkill]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

For her to be that sexually comfortable with you, you will need to establish a bond?

Did you establish a bond? 

 

I don't know. I really am not sure. I am not trying to troll.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Hardkill said:

I don't know. I really am not sure. I am not trying to troll.

Try to create a bond without flirting or escalation. Just talk a lot, have conversations. Get the ball rolling. 

Once the person is put to ease and enjoys your company, make your moves and try with mild flirting to see the reaction and reception. 

If the person showed interest, then escalate.