Repressed anger

[BlackMaze]

I know that i have repressed anger that maybe accumulated for most of my life. In my everyday life i'm actually calm and can control my emotions more or less but this prevents me from doing things. It's also the lockdown and many other things. I only lately noticed that it's there. How can i release this? Trying to just feel it is not enough because it's deep. I can't even feel it but i know that its there and that is strong. Just a book recomendation would be very helpful. 

Edited February 5, 2021 by BlackMaze

[Raptorsin7]

Try this.

 

Edited February 5, 2021 by Raptorsin7

[BlackMaze]

Thank you this is very interesting i will give it a try. 

 

[Nahm]

 

I did the impression, and found it wouldn’t do.

A thousand times I fooled myself, to see how you are too.

Re-press, re-press, re-press I did, until I was blue.

Alas I found ex-pression, the here & now of truth. 

 

The I that knows an I which has, see’s not what I do’s.

In truth I am the present; and past is of the who’s. 

Create I can, through the man, who gives his past his boot. 

In love I do illuminate, co-creating too. 

[Loving Radiance]

@BlackMaze  In my last shamanic retreat the facilitator showed me a way to express my repressed anger.

1. Get a non-slip mat and a thick cushion (like a meditation cushion).
2. Knee on the mat and have the cushion in front of you.
3. Bring your hands together and make one fist by interlacing the fingers.
4. Punch the cushion as fast as possible while putting force behind it. Bring your hands at least at head level if not higher when you go back up.
   1. Balance the force and speed behind your punches - there can be hurt while punching, but after the release your arms shouldn't hurt for more than a minute.

[BlackMaze]

@Nahm always cutting to the chase  thank you

The funny thing is that i know how to enter a higher state at will. I hope that this doesn't sound foolish. That said i very rarely bother to do this. Somewhere i decided that it's dangerous. The question is why don't i? I think the reason is fear. Or should i accept that really there is no controlling and just need to see it? Is there even a choice to create? Or what to create? Is the idea of embracing my ego bullshit? I don't want to be just blank. I want to have a healthy personality that has no problem creating stuff. But my ego comes along with all this baggage. 

@Loving Radiance thank you i kind of tried it but to express my anger is not really what i want. As i said i usually don't even feel it. I could feel some of it if i don't smoke for a long time.. What i want to do is to unroot it completely. Maybe the only way is to do it gradually as it shows up. 

[Nahm]

@BlackMaze

The answer is make a dreamboard. 

Hold your hand behind your head, and move it around in circles. That’s what creating with thoughts is like. You can’t actually see what’s going on. Just a vague swirl. With the dreamboard, it’s in front of you, and with every passing day life, purpose, direction and the very best of you all come into alignment. 

[BlackMaze]

@Nahm it's time to do it then! The only reason i haven't so far is because i don't want people coming to my place look at it. Should it be in front of me most of the time? Will drawing things i want to add in a notebook do? Is it ok if i do it in onenote? What i am asking is if there is a more private alternative than having everything i want to create there for all to see. 

I started drawing the things i want. I can't draw, time to learn. I will also keep a private journal to write everything i want. If i like a drawing i will put it on the wall. It's not a board but maybe it will be effective. 

Edited February 5, 2021 by BlackMaze

[Nahm]

 

16 minutes ago, BlackMaze said:

Will drawing things i want to add in a notebook do?

No. 

16 minutes ago, BlackMaze said:

Is it ok if i do it in onenote?

No. 

16 minutes ago, BlackMaze said:

it's time to do it then! The only reason i haven't so far is because i don't want people coming to my place look at it. Should it be in front of me most of the time?

What i am asking is if there is a more private alternative than having everything i want to create there for all to see

On the top right corner write “I’m consciously creating this life, not sleeping through it”. On the top left corner write “Fuck Off”. If someone has something to say about your dream, tell them to look at whichever side they want. 

[BlackMaze]

got it thanks. I guess what people have to say or what they will think is not as important as creating this life. I can't really know how effective this is unless i try it. 

[Nahm]

@BlackMaze

Nailed it. 

I’ll feel my thoughts. 

I’ll assume you also experience thoughts, and that you feel them. 

But I don’t know. 

And thus I am free. 

A thousand times I fooled my self. 

[BlackMaze]

Thank you. Now i need to find a board to buy