⛓️ Key Chain ⛓️

[Loba]

Quote

Quote

Notes:

• Why self-love and nourishing who you are today (learning how to show up for yourself, internal self love) is the foundation for everything:
• You must learn how to become your own safe place.
• Everything is built on top of self-love and it will be very hard to fix yourself and change your habits if you do not love yourself - but with this tool everything else will naturally come.
• We don't need to force ourselves to become something and it does not work.
• Go slow on this path, this is the fastest route.  Embrace it.
• Your subconscious has been programmed for a certain action and it can unlearn it and learn a new skill.
• There is a reason for why we do what we do and none of it is that we are bad or wrong or stupid, incapable or self sabotaging or self hating - every reason comes down to this is what we learned in childhood, and if we want something different then figuring out what we need to do instead and get the body and brain on board with the new thing is difficult.
• If you just do this one thing - making yourself your own safe place, everything you are capable of; progress comes from this.  Without doing this, your nervous system will not let you do the other things.  
• Results will not be quick.  It will be the same thing over and over again.  Deal with your guilt and shame before working on other skills because if you try to fix yourself without this foundation then the other tools will not work.
• If we don't understand where the lack of self love came from and if we have confusion on what is good for us, where if we do things in the moment that feel good that have bad outcomes, if we do not understand why this is happening then none of this will make sense and will look somewhere else thinking that it is just a bad part of you.
• Everyone thinks they are an exception to the rule and the horrible thing inside of them must be fixed because of the negative outcomes, however this is not the case.
• There is no quick solution and you are not the exception.  This applies to everyone because although we are all different, we are not all that different.  So listen up!
• In our childhoods we are in a temporary reality, a codependent reality where we are not capable of understanding or meeting our needs and are completely dependent on our caregivers to meet them for us.
• That which is supporting our growth leads to pleasure.  That which does not support our growth causes pain - all living things share this in common, we want to grow and humans are very complex and so is life - it wants to express its potential and live.
• In order to live, we must be continually growing.  In order to be continually growing, we have to be taking in new information; feedback loops, cause and effect.  We are all evolving here on Earth.  This is the fundamental element of pain and pleasure.

• When we are children we are being programmed about how reality works.
• Children have a good connection to their instincts - pain and pleasure - because they have not been programmed yet, so their connection is stronger, but they are not more knowledgeable. 
• Caregivers are meant to teach their children how reality works, and to show us how to meet, to understand our needs.  We only have control over our expression of pain and pleasure in this lifetime.
• Our caregiver's approval means survival for us so from day one we are programmed not to pay attention to what our bodies are saying to us - when caregivers "go away", I don't get my needs met.  Needs get met from someone understanding me and meeting my needs.  When I am rejected I am at risk.  That is our first program.  Approval.
• What should happen in a healthy environment, we start to develop autonomy, we are given tools by our caregivers for understanding when we are in pain that a need is not being met, and to identify why there is pain and to be able to change it - pain and pleasure experienced in a neutral way.
• When we experience true pleasure there is no negative backlash, this is the different between real and fake pleasure.
• What actually happens is because humanity doesn't understand itself or how reality works - struggling to survive - and creating systems based on misunderstanding on how to survive, this complex web has created a consensus reality, which is "this is how you have to be, what you have to do, good, bad, ect. and through our growth process we begin to experience something called guilt, shame, abandonment and rejection.
• So as we are expressing ourselves, as we are growing and going through the learning process, we did things where we expressed and were told we were bad.  Or we were in pain and were abandoned or rescued and did not learn why we got hurt.
• This triggers the nervous system, "I am not going to get my needs met, I am rejected, so what do I need to do to to get back in their good graces?"  So now we don't know what the original pain was in the first place.
• "Who do I need to be, what do I need to do to alter my behaviour so that I am approved of again?"
• So now we are two layers removed from real reality.  An appropriate response, "I still love you, you are still loved and safe, how does it feel to have hit the other child for the toy?"  Children would tell you that it does not feel good and would learn that hitting and taking the toy is a negative action.  "You hit because that was your instinct."  Then you can teach them to share once they learn the source of the bad feeling, if it is not covered up by shame, fear, guilt, ect - their nervous systems can learn to enjoy sharing.

• This is real learning, the child then becomes more complex through that interaction.  Most interactions do not go this way - this takes away the empathy because all they feel is fear from the situation and freeze.
• What looks like self sabotage in adulthood is actually your body doing what it learned in childhood over and over again, now as an adult.  Most of us as adults do not learn to be autonomous and to meet our own needs, with or without acceptance or approval of others.  We take the codependent approach and think others hold the keys to what we need.
• So rather than becoming an adult and communicating and understanding our needs we become codependent with everyone around us, and when we are in pain because we learned in our childhoods that pain is wrong and bad, we connect to consensus reality, which is made up of stories and fantasies.
• "We are wrong or reality is wrong."  That is how we learn to interact with pain.
• The shame and guilt always comes from "I am in pain because I am bad and did something wrong."  Why do we do that?  Because in childhood we only have control over our behaviour and nothing else, so if something goes wrong we assume it is our behaviour that caused it.
• So we all collectively move and act from the false assumption that pain makes us bad and wrong and so we project it onto ourselves or others.
• Self help, spirituality and self-improvement come into play with this because they are riding on the idea that the pain is your fault.  Something broken and wrong about you because you are in pain - it all plays on your insecurities.  We want to believe it is true because it makes it simple.  "If I just do this, just fix this, then everything will be better."
• There is no questioning of the system.  "You are deficient and here is the fix."  And that feels good because it is familiar conditioning.  Adaptation.
• This creates a learning trauma.
• Real reality is: it's either supporting your growth or it is not, and some of the things we are doing to cope are because we exist in a system that doesn't work for people, the rat race does not align with who most people really are.

• We are disconnected from our true selves.  Being.  Instincts.  Pain and pleasure.  We don't have the tools to learn what we need to learn from the instincts we are born with.  We were trained to disconnect from the instinct to fit in, so people will meet your needs, so you feel safer.  It becomes a loop of trying to fit in. 
• The internet creates echo chambers where people who only interact with those who have ideas like theirs because we are so afraid, we don't want new information, we don't want to believe that the way we are seeing things is wrong because if we are wrong then we are bad and this is shameful and we don't know how to learn from that because we then have to learn to change and our bodies don't want that so we join echo chambers, and the world just keeps getting more divided because we are all stuck in nervous system trauma.
• The more we operate from, "How do I show up for myself right now?" and "What do I need to feel safe?" and "Why am I doing what I am doing?" and assume innocence and a good reason and it is not always my fault. 
• Most of humanity is taught the wrong way.  Pain = shame.  Half the people = I am bad.  Codependent.  Half the people = you are bad/at fault. 
• Pain really means something is out of alignment and what do I need to do to get into alignment.
• This is a long process to learn what these things mean to you.  Reprogramming base nervous system programming from childhood takes a lot of time and it is hard to do, and is the foundation on which you have built ALL your other behaviours.
• Everything that you resist comes from not questioning your reality.
• If you were to accept yourself as who you are right now as loveable and good enough, that is what takes your nervous system out of fear and then you can start the process of learning from your experience.
• When we don't have this foundation, all the tools do nothing because we are triggered into a state of fear that forces us to do the same thing over and over and over again.
• This is why becoming your own "safe space" is so essential.  It is not one and done.  It is a continual practice of learning to show up for yourself when in pain, pleasure and be in the moment and as, "What do I need right now?"
• Start with self compassion.  This gets rid of fight or flight, and then we can learn but it takes time to learn to stop abandoning yourself when you are in pain, so be patient.
• Investigate.  See that you don't die.  Be there for yourself.  Do it again and again.  Investigate, investigate, investigate.  Assume innocence within yourself. 
• If a program is stimulating your nervous system and disconnecting you from yourself, it is not for you - esp. if it is based on "There is something wrong with you."
• "What did you learn?" "Why am I in pain?"  "Take as much responsibility for myself as I can."
• Self help can keep you stuck in a state of self-obsession, so try and use your time to contribute towards better things.
• You feel safe when you feel loved, so love yourself.
• It is a lot of work.  But it all comes down to showing up for yourself with compassion and curiosity and assuming innocence.  This is all you need.

Quote

Notes:

• Starting at 7:30 mins.
• Sit back in your seat, get comfortable, make sure you won't be interrupted, close your eyes and relax, clear your mind and take a few breaths.
• Now bring to mind the person you will be forgiving in this exercise.
• Now bring to mind the situation you will be forgiving in this exercise.
• If you need to, when you relive this situation in your mind you can do so from a third person perspective, like an outsider looking at a past self as a future self - this will give you some distance, to remain detached if you were in a deeply traumatic situation.
• Observe the situation in your mind what happened.  Replay it a few times in your mind what happened.
• Keep replaying that situation in your mind while Leo talks.
• Notice your true feelings towards this person as a result of this situation.
• You might love this person, but deep down there might be some resentful feelings that might have been swept under the rug to come back and face - notice your true feelings, how did it make you feel?  How did it actually make you feel?
• What feelings about this situation and person haven't you fully expressed yet?  What have you kept uncommunicated and unsaid.  What judgements do you have about this person in this situation?  Notice especially your judgements of them, like "She was evil, he was a bad person, so gross what he did, so terrible what was said, ect."  How did this person wrong you or hurt you or fail you?  What is it that you wanted from them but they failed to give you in this situation and how do you really feel about that?  Go to your true, genuine feelings.  Allow them.
• Keep replaying this situation over and over again in your mind from a distanced perspective.
• Ask yourself if you want to forgive this person for this situation.  Yes or no?  But don't feel forced to say yes.  Your mind should gain traction with the questions if you are true to your pace and feelings.
• What does forgiveness mean, what are we asking you to say yes or no to?  Are you willing to let go of what they did to you without holding it against them in any way any more, are you willing to let go of the hurt and sense of injustice?  Are you willing to stop judging them?  Are you willing to stop demonizing them?  Are you willing to understand the situation from their point of view, and extend your mercy to that person?  Are you willing to let go of needing to get even?
• Replay the situation in your mind again and look at the person in the face and take a look - can you forgive them?
• Before you submit your answer let's consider, what is the point of forgiving this person?  You may feel they don't deserve it.  Explore it.  Notice the negativity you are holding onto.  If it happened in childhood and you are now an adult you have been holding onto these feelings for years.
• Notice your hate, resentment and judgement weighs you down in life and makes you a bitter person, so my question is: do you want this negativity to continue in your life or let it go?  The choice is yours.
• Contemplate: Do you want to be a hateful person or a loving person?  What kind of life do you want to create for yourself going forward.
• Imagine that forgiveness will make you stronger as a person.  Do you want to be a strong person or a weak person?  Big or small?
• Now replay the situation in your mind, what kind of person do you want to be going forward?
• Stop acting like a victim, set your intention, what do you want?  Do you want to forgive or hold onto your resentment forever?  Do you want to become strong and from your highest self or continue being small and traumatized?  To have bad dreams and have it sour your relationships?
• Keep looking at this situation until you realize you want to be strong and not small which means you need to forgive.  If there is still resentment, keep at it until you realize forgiveness is the wisest course here.
• Now let's look at this situation from the other person's point of view.  Did they do it because they wanted to hurt you?  Be careful here, because if the event was traumatic and emotional then this can trigger you and you can feel that they do, but if you contemplate you may realize that the person didn't want to hurt you.  It may feel that way, but take a look and see what they might have been thinking, people are different.
• How you might be different from someone else because you have different strengths, weaknesses, genetics, upbringing, personality, capabilities, talents, experience, more or less money, more or less status, gender, ect, ect.
• Here is the key ?️ to this forgiveness business: notice in this situation whatever they did to hurt you they didn't do it because they wanted to cause you suffering they did it for five key reasons - universal truths about human behaviour:
  
  ?️ 1. - They did what they did to hurt you out of ignorance - that means that they were doing their best to do good in that situation, but given their limited understanding of life and limited capabilities, the result wasn't so good for you from your point of view and so it hurt you, but they were trying to do their best.  They were just ignorant and so their best wasn't that good.  Try to see that - universal point that covers many situations.  Most evil stuff that other people think do to them isn't really evil, it is just ignorant action - and that really that person who hurt you was trying to do what they thought was best for you from their point of view.
  ?️ 2. - Whatever they did to hurt you they did out of weakness and out of fear - maybe they cheated you somehow, maybe they cheated you somehow, maybe they lied to you.  Maybe they tried to screw you over.  Maybe they stole something from you.  Maybe they manipulated you.  Whatever they did to you, notice - try to see what their motivations for doing it were.  If they did something nasty, they were probably weak in that moment and succumbed to fear, some kind of fear.  They were afraid of something therefore they hurt you.  This is very universal and very common when people think that other people do evil things to them, usually those people who are doing the evil things are simply acting out of weakness and fear.
  ?️ 3. - If they hurt you, they did so out of selfishness - notice that this person in this situation was probably being selfish.
  ?️ 4. - They did it out of a desperate desire to get love because they lack love - so if this person hurt you, it's because actually deep down they were lacking in love and they wanted love from you!  But because they're ignorant, and they're selfish and weak they didn't know how to properly get the love that they wanted from you so they got it in some sort of way that ended up hurting you, but getting them the love that they wanted. Usually when someone does something evil it is because they simply want love but they don't know how else to get it other than through this selfish action, which then we call evil because it hurts somebody else.
  ?️ 5. - They did it out of a lack of consciousness - This person hurt you because this was not a high consciousness person at that time in that situation.  If the person had more consciousness, if the person was more developed, if the person was in a more conscious state, they would have behaved very differently in that situation.  Notice this.
   
• Ignorance, fear, selfishness, need and lack of love and lack of consciousness - all five of these point played out in your scenario with this person, and this completely explains why they hurt you.  
• Very clearly replay this situation in your mind and notice the real root reason why you were hurt because this person acted out of ignorance, weakness, fear, selfishness, unconsciousness and a need for love.
• If you still can't see this, keep replaying the situation and keep contemplating it deeper until you see that this is true, it is just a question of how deeply are you willing to go inside their minds to understand their motivations.  Can you see how in this situation person was not being evil, but actually this person was trying to be good and was trying to seek love in ignorant ways and that's all this situation boils down to - all these situations boil down to - seeking love, in some form or another.
• People seek these things not knowing why they are seeking them because they ultimately think that it will lead to satisfaction and look for this in unconscious ways, so apply this to your situation until you can see clearly how this is so. 
• Maybe they cheated or lied because of their life history.
• 33:00 left off - finish tomorrow - can't do anymore today, sorry.  I can't concentrate on what he is saying.

It usually takes me a few days to get these together, I tend to think on the subject a bit throughout the day and add to it, so it should be done by Sunday morn.

?️?️  Been seeing a lot of "key" synchronicities lately. ?️?️

Quote

If I could love doing one thing and never stop doing it that would be... art.  And smoking weed.  

Weed helps my mood.  A lot.  Makes me more active and I think straighter.  I love more fully and freely and feel more connected to God and to the planet.  It helps with anxiety, makes me more creative and patient.  The animals notice and all vie for my attention.  I feel more in my body when I am high.  
Back to art.  If I could do this every day and never get tired of it, my skills would improve and I could make some complicated, deep and impactful pieces.  I have a bunch of ideas in waiting for my appetite for artistic expression to improve.

 

Edited August 14, 2021 by Loba
Remember: Pageviews are edits. No one cares. Focus on yourself.

[Loba]

Quote

On the nature of change.
I want to change because I don't like my personality.
How I act under stress.  Is counterproductive.
I couldn't work on it before because I was in such a fight or flight state, but now I think that I can.
We shall see, I can't make any promises, just an attempt and to see where it leads.
I want to heal myself but I don't want to face certain things about myself.  It would help if I did from a third person perspective but this is hard to do unless I can get very high.  Like right now.  Also caffeine helps.  Then automatic writing is simple and I feel like I can access more of my whole self, enough to sort of sift through some things and scrub stuff off.
I'm mentally ill 'and' I have paranormal abilities.  It doesn't mix well.  They have always been there.  Like a Sight or a third sense, I guess?

I'm not a whole personality and that is why I think it is there.  I don't know what I am.
Certainly ill.  I don't want it and I am always trying to rid myself of it.
I... keep my laptop close by.  To write.  To purge.  So that I can be within myself for a while and enjoy the Light of the moment, if I am able to find it.  And when I do, I feel understood and safe and knowing and ultimately it is all I can think about because of this.  It has a flip side, and that is the darkness as well.  Black.  It's alive.  It's karma.  It is uncovered by digging through reality, like Jung would do.  It's death.  It's total freedom.  It's madness.  It's Love as well.  You have to almost tame it within yourself. 

Kali feels like how this looks. ^

I'm at home for a while and get four hours of uninterrupted thinking.  There's a lot to go through.  It's going somewhere.  I can feel it.  I remember Freedom but I can't hack it as a human being and stay alive as well.  Too much wilderness.  Sensory overload.  But I remember a time when that didn't matter and I remember the Light that it radiated and sometimes I dream of it.  And it tells me things, and I ache for it.  I am codependently attached to this strange darkness in my environment that has haunted me since I was young and follows me, like a blessing and a curse all in one.  I can't tame it.  I barely understand it.  I lose it often.  Some people are blessed with this kind of vision, of being able to See it - even though I am such a novice - its expanse is respectable, not understandable, it just Is, and watches back and sometimes when it does I then just Know things.  It gives me pieces into it's nature that I collect and have been for years.  It has taken me on some strange adventures... when I reach the end - the 'real' end for me, for some reason this obscure goddess - Kali - shows up.  It is male/female in one.  A type of phenomenon as well, and I just happened to find this name for it.
I am instructed to Love it from a Bhakti sense.  I collected a lot of the images, songs, yantras, mantras and so forth for Kali.  It is friendly, but bites, but the bite is the fault of the person, not the Goddess.  It requires/prefers a type of innocence and imagination and you cannot and do not own it, ever.  Never, ever, ever.  

• Mind, you are a beautiful, beautiful mess.  <3
  I should give myself more credit.  It's not my fault I was, and sometimes am, going in circles mentally.  Fear is a strong thing.  It's not so simple to overcome, it takes time.  I'm excited to try to build an internal safespace.
  What would that look like?  I have no idea.  None.  Note, look into it.

*sigh*... I want an external safespace but it doesn't help longterm.

I so worry about this... it seems to be going okay so far, although the moving is kind of stressful on everyone.

 

Edited August 16, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Forgive everyone and you pass a test towards becoming an adult. <3
Still have notes to work on.  I take my time.

Fly by night only.  I wish I could read the sky like a map.  It's so beautiful.

If I could be anyone in the world, who would I be next?

I make cupcakes that look like they have animal faces.

I can read the sky like a map and am very precise with directions at night and can find my way almost anywhere.

I like to hike up mountains.

I own two cats, a long-haired smoky-grey cat named Lacey, and a calico with a green and blue eye named Lucky Stars.

I have a cream-coloured saluki named Prince Daniel and a small blue-merle chihuahua named Mikey.

I have a tattoo of folded realistic golden bat's wings that go all down my back and a tribal centipede with realistic legs, oil-slick rainbow-coloured with each segment being a vertebra going up my spine.

I was born in... NYC and went to college there, then moved to the rainforest in Costa Rica to study bats and their effect on the ecosystem.

https://enchanting-costarica.com/nature-and-adventures/costa-rica-important-bat-conservation-refuge/

I'm short, petite, fine boned and pear shaped. 5'1".

I wear red nails and lipstick every day.
I have decent fashion sense, but keep it modest and classy.
I often wear a fitted felt red jacket that has elegantly designed rabbit ears on the hood, black leggings and knee-high boots.

I'm a sucker for comfort and my job is cushy and fun.  I help care for and study captive bats!  I know all about echolocation, and forestry.

I'm pretty in a cute kind of a way, like an 8/10. Like this girl, but darker skin tone.

My name is GiGi Rivera and my father is descended from Mexico about two generations ago and my mother is straight from the Philippines.
I speak English, Spanish, Filipino and some rudimentary French from high school.
I play the piano and have long, thin fingers like a bat.

I come from a good family that was in tune with me and nurtured my curiosity and were non-abusive. 
I am a stable, strong and intelligent young woman, early 20's; 22.
I have a good sense of humour, sometimes kind of dark.

Ambivert.  Left-handed and good at abstraction, especially artistically.
Both sides of the family have many members in them and we have a good relationship with everyone and a support system.

I retain my spiritual knowledge and weird art skills and love for animal life and desire to conserve species for future generations with me into this next life from the one that I am writing from currently.

I live with my boyfriend who is a famous artist that lives in the forest in a very modern looking home that has a lot of windows.  It is on a hill and overlooks some mountains and the view is very nice.

Some of his art is amazing, it is old taxidermy that has been taken apart and he makes realistic creatures from them.
As far as artistic goodness goes, they are like a 11/10, in realism, dynamic posing, the landscapes sculpted at their feet look completely natural - he makes all sorts of sculptures and can make them as real as it can get.

He once sculpted a life-sized wolf puking up an entire dream scene of a city that looked like a golden city of heaven, very finely built.

I retain my connection to God in this lifetime and learn so much more about myself due to having a different family structure - I am a healthy, functioning adult.
I am happy and life is Good!  This life is easy, and it is fun, and also responsible and spiritual and loving.
It's my reward for doing my best.  Making the best out of this life.  Getting to choose what I want.  For once.

I'm a nice and easygoing person who treats people well and I have a plethora of good people in my life and little drama.

I get along with my boyfriend well, and have a small group of close friends, and a larger group of acquaintances.

He plays the guitar; sometimes we do duets - he can sing very well, I can sing so-so.  I hold a tune.

I love to knit and make blankets, I make them for friends and we have like 15 of them!
I knit to help me think, and this is my time for contemplation and integration so I end up making many of them, as I retain my desire for Truth in this lifetime.

I don't have a strong ego and do not take myself seriously and take time for other people.
I'm youthful in spirit, but responsible and can read people very well - ENFJ.
I love rock climbing and exploring out in nature.

My art style is simple in design, but the inner detail is intuitively well done and looks good as logos and prints.
I am a decent dancer.  Not great, but not terrible.

I like some romance, but never get too carried away with it - I am more of an activities do-er.  Some of my shyness from this lifetime is left over.  So I like to do things with people to keep it from getting awkward.
Due to having a healthy family, I stay in shape - learning to do so from a young age - and eat well.

I hate cooking, but love to bake for some reason and I get notoriously meticulous with designing the animal faces on cupcakes and decorations on cakes.

I retain my Beatific vision from this life here and frequently communicate with God and have a strong intuitive sense.

I do end up with bi-polar, and it helps me sometimes.  Due to a manic episode, I end up getting my Master's a year and a half early.
I've been to the hospital for it 3 times and each time my family has always been there with gifts and a kind word.  I do the same for them.  We are all supportive.  Just a naturally high vibe family from two different cultures.
The two cultures give me a strong sense of femininity, but I am confident and can speak out and I know my worth as a woman and as a person.

Going to Costa Rica when I was 20 was a big decision due to the bi-polar, but I decide to try it and so far so good!
I still retain my sense of being "special", as a symptom of bi-polar disorder, but it is true that I become a pretty great person in this life.
I am still humble, just not quite humble enough just yet.

This life is easy, efficient and lucky.  A truly blessed life.  I care for it and do not waste it one bit.
I'm good to my boyfriend and know how to communicate love well due to having a large family.  His family is small and mine welcome him.
He's an introvert.  We spend a lot of time working on projects together, or around one another.

I have a slight New York accent.  It is noticeably there, but not overly so.
I have 25 cousins altogether and am close to all of them, some of them have babies.
I haven't made up my mind about kids yet and am more career focused at that age.
The boyfriend is someone from a past life who's soul I am familiar with.  We are both here to enjoy some last lives before becoming/creating something else more cool.
I work through karma in this life - and learn what I cannot in this upcoming one, using this one right now to redirect myself - heaven knows I have worked through so much in this life, I know I can do it.  I've got the power.
My eyes are green and I have black, wavy, slightly frizzy hair.

Here's my froggy. *touch touch, poke poke*

Fly by night only.  ?️There is a fly that keeps landing on my computer screen, all the lights are off and it is quite dark in this room.  I like to think in dark rooms.  I used to know of a better version of that song, if I can find it I'll change it...

Quote

Fly by night, only
On my watch, babe

Take a ride outside with me
Just for a little while
Feel the wind brush back the road
And clean you of your lies

There's a tone I tend to touch
A deepened lust from which I fall
And the racing heart will beat
Endlessly into the dark

Take a ride outside with me
Just for a little while
Feel the wind brush back the road
And clean you of your lies

There's a tone I tend to touch
A deepened lust from which I fall
And the racing heart will beat
Endlessly into the dark

In darkness ascend
I take to the night, again

Fly by night, only

"You've been matched."

For a therapist.   
I have to call 'em up... soon. 

The book noticed from this morning - 'Playing with fire.'
Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing, could be both.
"You've been matched.  Playing with fire."
It could still mean anything.  That's the lesson I learned the last time, to be careful with labels, and just keep going.

But what if our love runs out?
Yeah, what if our love runs out?
What if our love runs out, out, out?
Don't wanna let you down
What if our love runs out?

Praying earnestly.  Empty... empty... empty... empty... empty...eyes.
And then, "Hello."  And I'm politely humbled.  I can't really explain the process very well.
It feels like I intruded.  But made up for it along the way.  I could be initiated now if I want to.

My cup is empty.  The right song comes on.

 

Edited August 18, 2021 by Loba
Happy, content, peaceful. Jai Kali Maa. ? No body cares, feel this, humble. Good. <3

[Loba]

Quote

I send it through to you.  You are like a middleman.  I often See You when I am healthier.  Sometimes You make really bad events happen, for a better cause.  You are not something to be fucked with.  I accepted my initiation with love, humility, and an apology.  I asked to be of service for many lifetimes, for more information and to get closer to God.  I said that this is my first life doing this, so I will be fuzzy with it, and the next one I need a clearer connection and this requires starting out with less karma.
I don't want to paper-shred this life, I was clever enough to find some interesting paranormal things.  I wanna keep the ball rolling on growing this soul, but I need more leg room.  This life is about forgiveness and acceptance and imagination.  It's about taking the steering wheel for the first time.

The problem I have with this goddess is that she is a Great Mother, and I have mother issues and fears of being enclosed and so this hits on those fears.  My mother was unstable and often angry, and this goddess represents both of these qualities.  To work with this goddess, I would need to forgive my mother.  And my father.  *misty eyes*
Sadhguru doesn't like her energy.  I wish I knew why - I don't have a choice in the matter and I'm kind of ignorant to what I'm dealing with, like, if I should treat this with utmost care.  I wasn't born into this religion - Hinduism.  The goddess just identified herself one day, when I was scrolling on Facebook back in 2016.  It was an article on her - the image they chose illuminated itself, so I followed it - and found the songs I was listening to at the time fit with her story and attitude as well.  So it was a "match".  When working with deities, you have to be honest about your skillset.  If you are new, tell them and they will lead you towards what you need to do.  Love is currency and a means of energy transference.
She is wild.  But has some common sense.  She is an illuminated blackness that is wild and free, but much moreso than most humans could handle to be in the middle of.  Perhaps that is what Sadhguru is nervous of.  I only have seen from within the eye of the storm.  I am protected from the whole thing because it's too much.
Many of these beings are a lot to handle, ime.  They come with a shift in awareness about the certain philosophy of things, if only for a time.
You can look at the outskirts of wilderness without going into it.  It beckons you with answers.  But it's also a killer.

Jai Kali Maa.  ?
Red.  Black.  Blue.  Purple.  Gold. 

It wasn't worth your time
And don't ask me why
I didn't cross the line
I didn't have to try

You were every face I see
In every cloud and every tree
What if they could see me hide
What if they were on my side

I never said goodbye
And don't ask me why
I didn't make a sign
I didn't have to cry

You were every face I see
In every cloud and every tree
What if they could see me hide
What if they were on my side

It wasn't worth your time
And don't ask me, don't ask me
I never said goodbye
And don't ask me, don't ask...

You were every face I see
In every cloud and every tree
What if they could see me hide
What if.

Into your garden
The planet of reason
Whilst smiling through green scents of fear
And finding laced with nectar your sweet skin and flesh so fruitfully soft
For you
For you
Nimble your fingers
Dancing like elvin of bracken through the strands of thread hair
Glistening cold
Nourished and golden
Falling to the ground

Where lies the maiden you made in your mind
Twisting and gnarling while you stand in oblivion for you
Silent and still
Trapped in your mind
So fragile like feathers of broke winged hummingbird too, ooh

So don't stop the way you feel
And move closer to what is real
Don't feel the way you are
Move closer to the light in your eyes

And finding laced with nectar your sweet skin and flesh so fruitfully soft
For you
For you
Nimble your fingers
Dancing like elvin of bracken through the strands of thread hair
Glistening cold
Nourished and golden
Falling to the ground

Silent and still
Trapped in your mind
So fragile like feathers of broke winged hummingbird too, ooh

So don't stop the way you feel (way you feel)
And move closer to what is real
And don't feel the way you are (way your are)
And move closer to the light in your eyes

Don't stop the way you feel (way you feel)
And move closer to what is real
And don't feel the way you are (way you are)
And move closer to the light in your eyes

Annie

Today, her image reflects her duality. Kali is depicted in the act of killing but smiles engagingly. Her protruding red tongue signals both modesty (a Bengali tradition) and her thirst for blood. Her disheveled hair hints at unrestrained blood lust and alternatively the metaphysical mystery of death that encircles life. Her three eyes represent omniscience, her voluptuous breasts both sexual lust and nurturance. Her nakedness simultaneously represents carnality and purity. Her necklace of severed heads and girdle of severed arms signifies her killing rage but are also tantric metaphors for creative power and severance from the bonds of karma and accumulated deeds. Even her stance is imbued with dual meaning. The respectable, right handed path of Tantra (Dakshinamarga) is emphasized by her right foot forward stance, while the infamous left-handed path (Vamamarga) followed by “degenerate” Tantric practitioners such as the Aghori is down-played. While her right hands are generally associated with positive gestures, her left hands hold weaponry – depending on the number of arms she is portrayed as having, a bloodied sword or trident, a freshly severed head and a skull cup to catch the blood. However, even these are symbols of greater purpose. The sword symbolizes higher knowledge, the head the human ego that must be severed in order to exit from the cycle of life and rebirth.

In the 20th and 21st centuries, many western feminist scholars have adopted Kali as a mascot of female empowerment, or have politicized her as a symbol of the supposed former matriarchal golden age that came before our present state of patriarchal control and decline. New Age Tantric practitioners adapt her obvious sexual manifestations as a therapeutic tool, while Hollywood employs her as a convenient symbol of malevolence. But Kali, the true Kali, will continue to defy all attempts to tame and domesticate her, as she has since the beginning of time.

Kali: A Most Misunderstood Goddess

You can try to break me
I cut my teeth on people like you
It's gonna take a lot more to take me down
I'm a step ahead
Watch me wearing my crown

Don't need a knight to guard the cave
Can't count the dragons that I've slayed
You can give it all you got
Cause love is running through my veins
Oh this lion can't be tamed
There's fire in my blood
Burn

I could burn the city down
I could put you under ground
Make the stars fall from the sky
Make the clouds and heaven cry

I could burn it all down down down down
Down down down
I will not surrender
I never learned to lose a fight
I'm afraid I'll have to end ya now
You better run or else I just might

Don't need a knight to guard the cave
Can't count the dragons that I've slayed
You can give it all you got
Cause love is running through my veins
This lion can't be tamed
There's fire in my blood
There's fire in my blood
Burn

I could burn the city down
I could put you under ground
Make the stars fall from the sky
Make the clouds and heaven cry

I could burn it all
I could burn it all down down down down
Down down down

Quote

Q:  But when does thinking about Jesus for example goes from a thought to "vision"? 

A:  That's the point, there is so such clear line.

If you think of Jesus hard and long enough you will start seeing Jesus in your dreams, on your morning toast, and in your mystical visions, just like how a mathematician will see numbers wherever he looks.

Both are fools because they don't realize it's all self-biased imagination since they are God dreaming up the world to suit themselves.

 

Edited August 19, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Notes:

• Healing from a negative mother complex: what do we mean? - Mother complex is the mother of all complexes.
• We are talking about a network of associations and memories and feelings that are around an archetypal core, the archetype of the mother and every archetype has a positive pole and a negative pole i.e. Virgin Mary or witch.
• Mother Complex: like a giant funnel, images and symbolic stuff around mother and then the funnel narrows and narrows until we come down to any given person's personal mother, who was unique, but she is the conduit for this much larger archetypal energy and if a person has had a dark relationship with mom that energy goes back up the funnel and it can be huge and overwhelming because it is connected to the powerful mother archetype.
• What does a negative mother complex look like: a red flag is when somebody comes in when taking a basic history of the psychological terrain, intense memories will surface - the first thing on the plate starts with talking about mom, end then we being to get the sense there is more going on.  Memories of neglect, attack, or they don't connect for some reason; like two ghosts together, sometimes feeling engulfed by the mother's needs or agenda

• The quality of our mother complex is significantly influenced by the relationship with our biological mother.
• Our memories create the tone and then they pull forward archetypal themes.
• You can have three kids in a household with a neutral, positive or negative mother complex - each gather and cluster certain kinds of memories.
• It is a centerplay of temperament.
• It is hard to work with a negative mother complex because the relational axis and the intrapsychic axis get tangled up within one another.
• With a negative mother complex, the psyche throws up monsters in front of you all the time.
• We have all been wounded by both of our parents, always.
• With disappearing mothers a child can develop schizoid tendencies and develop a world to themselves that carry them to adulthood.

Been counting all your aces, you ain't winning
Your phonebook full of numbers instead of names
All them vain decisions keep you jaded
You could have found the one but you won't change

So, aren't you glad to meet me?
I think you should
I'll be glad to meet me
If I were you
Aren't you glad to meet me?
I think you should
I'll make a real good soul
Out of you, time ain't ticking slow
Yes, you're overdue
Aren't you glad to meet me?
I think you should
I mean I really think you should, yeah
Aren't you glad to meet me?
I mean I really think you should

You keep on playing saying it's in your nature
Then you go on sulking blaming all but you
Won't admit you set your heart for failure
Should be glad I'm here awaking you

So, aren't you glad to meet me?
I think you should
I'll be glad to meet me
If I were you
Aren't you glad to meet me?
I think you should
I'll make a real good soul
Out of you, time ain't ticking slow
Yes, you're overdue
Aren't you glad to meet me?
I think you should
I mean I really think you should
Aren't you glad to meet me?
I mean I really think you should

Aren't you glad to meet me?
I think you should
I'll be glad to meet me
If I were you
Aren't you glad to meet me?
I think you should
I'll make a real good soul
Out of you, time ain't ticking slow
Yes, you're overdue
Aren't you glad to meet me?
I think you should
I mean I really think you should, yeah

Quote

Found a good guide.  Grateful.  Very grateful.  The next life I will be closer to a/the Goddess, in looks, personality and life's ambitions.  My relationships will be very conscious.  I will be happy.  Things will be easy.  I will learn a lot, I will not waste it.

This is a good deity; offering servitude isn't always a bad thing.  I found myself in the wrong side of the neighborhood, from astral projecting maybe?, and this is something dark that is aligned with good and I don't come across that very often.  It's rare to get offered such things, it would be rude not to accept.  I don't feel ready to step off the wheel, there is still so much to learn.

I will learn just as much if not more about God from having such a guide. 
Teacher/student initiation into the nature of death and rebirth.  My soul will be okay.

I live in Costa Rica for ten years, from the ages 20-30 and afterwards return to the states where I was born to be close to my family.
We buy an apartment that is facing Central Park, in the high middle of the building - two large bedrooms.
We use one room for us and the larger one for an art/activities room.
We decide not to have kids and this ends up being a good choice, as my cousins have many children and we see them often.
I always buy unique little gifts for them.  We keep the art room locked off, but everything else in the apartment is childproof or high off the ground.
Our livingroom has an open plan, with the diningroom and kitchen conjoined, well lit, with a lot of natural lighting... and plants.  You need plants if you live in the city.
I have a talent for caring for plants and so the rooms are filled with them.

I am blessed with the inner Goddess of Kali and look a lot like her.  My blood belongs to this House.
In this next life I learn how to move through it with an ease, like water - because I let Kali take over and thus am blessed with personal advantages.

I never take from another person's inner Goddess, either, and they tend to work together rather than against when actualized.
In this future life I like to show other women how to access this living intelligent energy.  
And we use it for good.  I can meditate and channel very well.  Blessed.
I keep the fact that I am a vessel a secret from the world.  Intuitively, I know to follow this energy from the start, and what I have learned now I can bring over.

I don't give it a name.  This lifetime I have given her a name.  I search for Her in the forests of Costa Rica.
When there, I find Her among the trees and I become wise about certain things.  I leave ten years later not only enlightened, but also very tuned in to nature.
I'm a weirdo, I feel, and just like now I keep a journal - and some of myself hidden from the world.
Growing up.

 

Edited August 21, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Kālī is the feminine form of "time" or "the fullness of time" with the masculine noun "kāla", and by extension, time as "changing aspect of nature that bring things to life or death." Her other epithets include Kālarātri ("the black night"), and Kālikā ("the black one").

The homonym kāla (appointed time) is distinct from kāla (black), but these became associated through popular etymology. The association is seen in a passage from the Mahābhārata, depicting a female figure who carries away the spirits of slain warriors and animals. She is called Kali Mata ("the dark mother") and also kālī which, as Coburn notes, can be read here either as a proper name or as a description "the dark blue one". Kālī is also the feminine form of Kāla (an epithet of Shiva) and thus the consort of Shiva.

????? ? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???
? ???? ???? ?? ?? ???? ??? ????'? ????
???? ?? ????? ????? ? ??
???? ?? ???? ??? ??? ?? ?'? ???? ?? ????
??? ?? ??? ???? ?????
???? ????????
??? ?? ???? ???
?? ?????? ?????? ???? ??????
??? ?? ??? ????? ????
?? ????????????
??? ?? ??? ??????
??? ?????? ??????? ?? ?????? ???
? ??????? ? ??? ?? ?????? ????
??? ???? ?????? ???? ????? ?? ?????
???????? ????? ?? ? ??? ????
???? ?? ???? ?????? ??????? ????
??? ?? ??? ???? ?????
???? ????????
??? ?? ???? ???
?? ?????? ?????? ???? ??????
??? ?? ??? ????? ????
?? ????????????
??? ?? ??? ??????
??? ?????? ??????? ?? ?????? ???

Hugh Urban notes that although the word Kālī appears as early as the Atharva Veda, the first use of it as a proper name is in the Kathaka Grhya Sutra (19.7).  Kali appears in the Mundaka Upanishad (section 1, chapter 2, verse 4) not explicitly as a goddess, but as the dark blue tongue of the seven flickering tongues of Agni, the Hindu god of fire.

According to David Kinsley, Kāli is first mentioned in Hindu tradition as a distinct goddess around 600 AD, and these texts "usually place her on the periphery of Hindu society or on the battlefield.":70 She is often regarded as the Shakti of Shiva, and is closely associated with him in various Puranas.

Mahakali (Sanskrit: Mahākāḷī, Devanagari: महाकाली), is the much revered Hindu Goddess of destruction and doomsday. Mahakali is fiercest of the Goddesses of universal power, time, life, death and both rebirth and liberation. She devours Kala (Time) and then resumes her own dark formlessness. She is also the consort of Mahakala a form of Lord Shiva, the god of consciousness, the basis of reality and existence. Mahakali in Sanskrit is etymologically the feminized variant of Mahakala or Great Time (which is interpreted also as Death), an epithet of the god Shiva in Hinduism. Parvati and all her forms are the different manifestations of Mahakali.

Quote

???????? ??????????
??????? ?????????? 
?? ???? ?? ??
?? ???? ????
?? ??????? ??????????

Mahakali's origin is contained in various Puranic and Tantric Hindu Scriptures (Shastra). In these, she is variously portrayed as the Adi-Shakti-Goddess Durga, the Primeval Force of the Universe, identical with the Ultimate Reality or Brahman. She is also known as the (female) Prakriti or World as opposed to the (male) Purusha or Consciousness, or as one of three manifestations of Mahadevi Durga (The Great Goddess) that represent the three Gunas or attributes in Samkhya philosophy. In this interpretation Mahakali represents Tamas or the force of inertia. A common understanding of the Devi Mahatmya ("Greatness of the Goddess") text, a later interpolation into the Markandeya Purana, considered a core text of Shaktism (the branch of Hinduism which considers Devi Durga to be the highest aspect of Godhead), assigns a different form of the Goddess (Mahasaraswati, Mahalakshmi, and Mahakali) to each of the three episodes therein. Here Mahakali is assigned to the first episode. She is described as an abstract energy, the yoganidra of Vishnu. Brahma invokes her and she emerges from Vishnu and he awakens. She is the Goddess of time.

Her ten headed (dashamukhi) image is known as the 10 Mahavidyas Mahakali, and in this form she is said to represent the ten Mahavidyas or "Great Wisdom (Goddess)s". She is sometimes shown sitting on a flaming grave or a rotting corpse. Her complexion is described as that of the night sky, devoid of stars. She is depicted in this form as having ten heads, thirty flaming eyes, ten arms, and ten legs but otherwise usually conforms to the four armed icon in other respects. Each of her ten hands is carrying an implement which varies in different accounts, but each of these represent the power of one of the Devas or Hindu Gods and are often the identifying weapon or ritual item of a given Deva. The implication is that Mahakali subsumes and is responsible for the powers that these deities possess and this is in line with the interpretation that Mahakali is identical with Brahman. While not displaying ten heads, an "ekamukhi" or one headed image may be displayed with ten arms, signifying the same concept: the powers of the various Gods come only through her grace.

In either one of these images she is shown standing on the prone, inert body of Shiva. This is interpreted in various ways but the most common is that Mahakali represents Shakti, the power of pure creation in the universe, and Shiva represents pure Consciousness which is inert in and of itself. While this is an advanced concept in monistic Shaktism, it also agrees with the Nondual Trika philosophy of Kashmir, popularly known as Kashmir Shaivism and associated most famously with Abhinavagupta. There is a colloquial saying that "Shiva without Shakti is Shava" which means that without the power of action (Shakti) that is Mahakali (represented as the short "i" in Devanagari) Shiva (or consciousness itself) is inactive; Shava means corpse in Sanskrit and the play on words is that all Sanskrit consonants are assumed to be followed by a short letter "a" unless otherwise noted. The short letter "i" represents the female power or Shakti that activates Creation. This is often the explanation for why she is standing on Shiva, who is her husband in Shaktism, and also the Supreme Godhead in Shaivism. Another understanding is that the wild destructive Mahakali can only stop her fury in the presence of Shiva the God of Consciousness, so that the balance of life is not completely overrun over by wild nature.

In Kashmir Shaivism the highest form of Kali is Kalasankarshini who is nirguna, formless and is often show as a flame above the head of Guhya Kali the highest gross form of Kali. In Nepali Newar arts, both form and formless attributes of Kali is often envisioned in a single art form showing the hierarchy of goddesses in their tradition. In it Guhyakali image culminates in flame, with Kalasankarshini, the highest deity in the sequence, who consumes time within herself and is envisioned solely as a flame representing Para Brahman. She is like a divine actress in her own universal play who assumes the form/role of Sristi Kali, Rakta Kali, Yama Kali, Samhara Kali, Mrityu Kali, Rudra Kali, Mahakaala Kali, Paramaraka Kali, Kalagnirudra Kali, Martanda Kali, Sthitinasha Kali and Mahabhairavaghorachanda Kali who is none other than Kalasankarshini Kali

Break me in don’t break me down
Swimming in these empty towns
I wonder if it’s all some master plan
Diving into sweeter bliss
Fallin’ before we miss
Taste the taste before it’s gone and you’re too late
Won’t change what I am
To find who you are
Can’t stay in these lines
When I’m bursting at the seams
My body might collapse
If I carry one more dream
I could be anything

Param Brahma (Sanskrit: परब्रह्म, romanized: parabrahma) in Hindu philosophy is the "Supreme Brahman" that which is beyond all descriptions and conceptualisations. It is described as the formless (in the sense that it is devoid of Maya) that eternally pervades everything, everywhere in the universe and whatever is beyond.

Param Brahma is conceptualised in diverse ways. In the Advaita Vedanta tradition, the Param Brahma is a synonym of nirguna brahman, i.e., the attribute-less Absolute.

Para is a Sanskrit word that means "higher" in some contexts, and "highest or supreme" in others.

Brahman in Hinduism connotes the Absolute, the Ultimate Reality in the universe. In major schools of Hindu philosophy it is the material, efficient, formal and final cause of all that exists. Brahman is a key concept found in the Vedas and is extensively discussed in the early Upanishads and in Advaita Vedanta literature.

Quote

Para Brahman - Mahakali - Kali - wiki

 

Edited August 22, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Quote

 

 

Quote

??? ???? 

Quote

??? ???? ????????? ????? ?? ???? ????????? ????? ?? ???? ????????? ????? ???

???????? - ?

What is this living conscious energy that expresses an endless amount of potential?
Like looking up at the fingerprint of a giant, cosmic thumb slowly coming towards you; it makes up the sky and all of the stars within them.
Magnetic, thick, sometimes male, sometimes female, natural, nature itself, dignity and death, answers and comfort.
Sometimes a quick, karmic snap in order to make a change happen or to see myself clearly.
No labels can be attributed to it, it shows up of it's own accord as some sort of Watcher within my own eyes, mirrored back to me.
It is clever, genius, instinct, pure genetic potential expressed.
Darker than the Light, heavier than the Light, but not evil and still created from Love, still illuminated like Love, but it is the complexity of actions and philosophies I do not have mental access to.
I am not clever enough to understand it in full.  I accept this.  I had forgotten not to attribute it to the image that it gave me, and I did... so I could no longer See it, thus the karma between it and me.
Honesty works.  I told it frankly, where I am at, for the psychology that I am blessed and cursed with in this lifetime, and that I need more lives to really understand.
That I signed the paper, so to speak, but my attention waxes and wanes.  There are other puzzle pieces to put together and I can't focus on the Goddess to this extent forever.

I need a pleasant lifetime to follow it.  I just want to observe it in nature for this upcoming life, and then maybe in ones to come I can learn about the philosophy behind what Kali is. 
The name for you will be different, or there will be none at all, but I will find ways to love You in all your forms.
You guide my soul from now on, from one life to the next as I take on aspects of your nature and embody it - you become a part of this world in physical form.  I become darker and darker throughout my lifetimes.  I am asking a lot to start out with, so that I may become what it takes to be one of your devotees.  
You are the twilight just before the setting sun.

I will be a Goddess one day, I don't know when.  Only now do I know the potential for it, and how to go about it with intention.  I hear angels.
Waking up from a psychosis is like having an old personality sluff off.  A confusing one.  My memory is terrible, this doesn't help with learning a new way of being.  Makes things difficult.
I think Kali is in individuation as well, thus why she seems so elusive and far away most of the time; and with the angry mother that raised me, and my weaker father, she is like my shadow parts, too.
I used to be very afraid of the movie "The Ring" and it gave me night terrors and phobias for a many years as a teen.  She reflects this nightmare that I used to live in as well.
At odd times in life I can point to something, and it all lines up, and I can see her, or sometimes him - 'that' is Kali.  That which is beyond time itself.  It holds the answer to expanded consciousness, so I always feel compelled to follow it.
Automatic writing with some inspirational music usually does the trick.  Sometimes it feels as though I just 'know' things about the universe.
I can make a wish come true.  I can change the direction of my soul and create my next life just through desire alone.  I can communicate with beings.  I hear angels, and ancestors and I can feel souls... I draw.  There are a lot of good things here to grow for this lifetime.
I worked hard for what I have.  This is key.
And yet, aspects of my life leave me very disadvantaged.  This is the problem with being a savant.  The imbalance is never seen.  We are shows for others and this becomes a way of life... to perform.  I need this so bad.  With my heart and soul, I need a good guide to help me expand my consciousness.
There is something just beyond the veil and I know it will blow me away but I'm just not quite there yet... I need to dip a toe in the water over the course of many lives.  Slow and steady wins the race.
 

????? ?

Quote

Mahākālī (महाकाली, “Great Darkness”):—One of the names of Mahākālī (tamas-form of Mahādevī). It represents pure tamas personified. Mahākālī is one of the three primary forms of Devī. Not to be confused with Kālī, she is a more powerful cosmic aspect (vyaṣṭi) of Devi and represents the guṇa (universal energy) named tamas. For reference, see the Devī Māhātmya, a Sanskrit work from the 5th century, incorporated into the Mārkaṇḍeya-Purāṇa.

Mahā-Kālī is the personification of the universal power of transformation, the transcendent power of Time, the Great Goddess who rules unchallenged over the universe and all that is in it.

All processes in the universe are seen to be cyclic and can be divided in 10 phases connected with the symbolism attached to the mystical number 5 —the five aspects of Śiva and the five aspects of Śakti operate as day and night —the markers of Time.

Mahā-Kālī sub-divides herself into the 10 goddesses known as the Mahāvidyās (ten objects of transcendent wisdom) which are the 10 aspects of the cycle of time — they’re representative of the entire processes of projection and withdrawal of the universe. They are the underlying subtle energies of which the gross universe is the outer expression.

• Kālī,
• Tārā,
• Tripurasundarī,
• Bhuvaneśvarī,
• Chinnamastā,
• Bhairavī,
• Dhūmāvatī,
• Bagalāmukhī,
• Mātaṅgī
• Kamalā

Goddess Mahakali is the Hindu goddess associated with empowerment, shakti. She is the fierce aspect of the goddess Durga (Parvati). The name Kali comes from kāla, which means black, time, death, lord of death: Shiva. Since Shiva is called Kāla— the eternal time — the name of Kālī, his consort, also means "Time" or "Death" (as in "time has come"). Goddess Kali is regarded as the most fierce and destructive form of Shakti. She has a dark complexion, red eyes and has four arms. In one of Her hands She carries a sword (khadaga) and in another hand She carries the decapitated head of a demon. The other two hands are in the position of blessing Her devotees. She also wears a garland of heads of the demons She has killed which makes this form of the Goddess even more fearful and divine. Her dark skin colour, unorthodox look, the fiery tongue and bloodshot eyes are enough to send chills down the spine. But She is one of the most powerful Goddess in Hindu mythology. Aghoris and other Tantrik cults worship Goddess Kali as the main deity along with Lord Shiva. Almost all the Tantrik cults in India refer to their presiding deity as the 'The Mother' by which they mean Goddess Kali.

Maa Kali is worshiped as a nurturing Mother, a source of sexual power, a spiritual guide, a fierce warrior, a defender, an avenger and the Goddess of all death, natural and otherwise. In her many forms she is lovable as well as terrible . Kali being a protecting Mother is also invoked to destroy all the evil or demonic forces in any form whether in your mind such as anger , selfishness , ego and many other bhavas in ourselves , She also destroys ignorance in order to bestow knowledge. She destroys darkness so that we may realize light. She destroys all pain, all sorrow, all misery and all the earthly travails and tribulations; and bestows upon us bliss, joy and immortality of being with her forever . As Vidya-Maya, Mother Parvati using Her aspect as Kali, destroys Avidya and takes us to her path .

Devi Kali is strongly associated with Lord Shiva. It is often said that Lord Shiva derived his masculine power from her feminine power, Devi Kali. As per Shabdakalpadrum, nineteenth-century Sanskrit dictionary, Kali is derived from the shloka “Kalah Shivah Tasya Patniti Kali”, meaning “Shiva is Kala and his consort is Kali”.

 

Yeah I'm going up tonight like I should know better
Faded focused on your eyes, know I'm a go-getter
Know it’s colder on my side, we let the road wet up
Nights in a row get up, you know I know pressure
Came up dripping gold metal
God is, God is falling like rose petals
God is, going crazy we won’t settle
God is, God is falling like rose petals (rose petals)

Count your blessings.

 

Edited August 24, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Notes:

• The number seven is very important.  The seven densities of consciousness correspond to each of the seven energy centers in our body, the seven musical notes on a scale and the seven colours in a rainbow.
• The universe is the mechanism for the one infinite creator to express and get to know itself.  There are infinite universes which Ra calls octaves and the one we are in is merely within one of these infinite number of octaves. 
• The evolution of consciousness within each octave works in seven major stages or densities.  A density represents the entanglement of light within a certain vibrational range, the lower the density the slower the vibratory rate and the less capacity for the expression of consciousness.  The higher densities have a faster vibratory rate and more ability to express consciousness in it's fullness and this is what drives the engine of evolution.
• Evolution is a fundamental principal within the universe.  Everything in creation must be an organic authentic experience, which means that everything must come through evolution, so in the same way that everything within the physical world evolves, everything within the metaphysical world also evolves including consciousness, so if we go all the way back to the formation of our solar system we can see what happened at the beginning of the first formation of the first density of consciousness.
• 1st Density -
  • That of beingness or awareness and is associated with the red ray or root chakra energy center and the atomic body, this includes all organic matter, which includes the four elements, earth, water, fire and air.  As the sun condensed into our star and planets began to form, the earth spent billions of years in a timeless state of being.  After a few billion years of rock, magma, water and air interacting with one another, the friction of this interaction eventually began to... 
• 2nd Density - 
  • ...Evolve consciousness into the second density, which is the density of growth and movement and is associated with the orange ray sacral chakra and chemical body.  The second density includes all biological life and organic matter that has autonomous movement, from microbial life up to plants and animals.  In this density consciousness becomes aware of different portions of itself communicating with one another and through this communication a second stage is reached where consciousness have learned the lessons of beingness and can now begin to respond to its environment through this newly learned awareness.  As it begins to generate a realization of space and time, consciousness takes on a new vehicle of exploration.  The latest stage of second density would be animals who become pets and through their interactions with humans, such as being given a name, boundaries and affection, the animal begins to develop a sense of self awareness which allows consciousness to begin evolving into the third density.
• 3rd Density - 
  • Third density is that of self awareness and the choice.  It is associated with the yellow ray or solar plexus chakra and also chemical body.  The third density is where each and every one of us find ourselves right now and is actually the shortest and most intense of all the seven density levels in terms of incarnation cycles.  This is because of two major factors.  The introduction of polarity and what Ra calls the veil of forgetting.  The veiling process occurs in third density to shroud each entities' memory form their previous incarnation so that there is no awareness that the soul is on an evolutionary journey.  This allows everyone to make an authentic choice between the positive or negative polarities.  The catalyst for evolution in third density is psychological suffering and this is why the third density is so difficult in comparison to all the others.  Suffering forces consciousness to gain freedom from the ego which was built through the second density and this allows the person to become truly autonomous and posses free will.  Catalyst in third density is very high because both polarities must be presented in equal proportion.  The formation of the ego creates a sense that the entity is separate from everyone and everything which initially creates a barbaric and hostile behaviour and the beginning of third density, and this is what we have witnessed in our our human history.  But as thousands of years go by and many incarnations are experienced the soul learns the lessons of love and understanding and begins to remember that it actually is an eternal being having a temporary physical experience.  At this point the choice between the two polarities is made.  If an entity decides it prefers the negative polarity then it begins it's evolutionary journey on the service to self path, if it choses the positive polarity it begins its journey on the service to others path.  Everything about the souls evolutionary journey hinges around this choice point in the third density that we experience right now, the follow fourth through seventh densities are spent exploring, learning and enhancing the chosen polarity.  Consciousness sleeps in the rock, dreams in the animal and awakens in the human.  In order to get to the point where your soul understands all the complexities and variables of the human experience your consciousness had to first spend billions of years evolving as rock, and water, and plants, and animals, and not to mention hundreds of human lifetimes.  We can observe and see the first three consciousnesses, what we cannot see is where it goes after the third density.
• 4th Density - 
  • The fourth density is that of love and understanding and is associated with the green ray or heart charka and possesses a chemical and light body.  Ra states that the average lifespan is around 90 thousand years and the full evolutionary cycle is around 30 millions years.  Our planet became a fourth density planet in the year 2012.  What this means is our planetary frequency is hospitable to begin evolving fourth density bodies.  This will take hundreds of thousands of years, but the signs are becoming apparent.  We can actually see the shift in the evolutionary shift towards 4th density love in our society because of the changes in social justice, equal rights and awareness of global corruption which have exploded since the year 2012.  The shift into the fourth density explains the acceleration of spiritual awakenings, technological advancements and global communication as the world is becoming increasingly unified and less divided and this is why so much corruption and hypocrisy in our world is currently being exposed.  In this density, cross communication is possible as the veil is lifted.  This is why we see increase in channeled works since the 1970's and will become more common.  In the later stages of fourth density, we are talking millions of years in the future, individual beings begin to join or merge consciousness together to form what is called a social memory complex.  These individual entities become a larger entity that serves as a walking library where each entity in the complex has access to everyone else's memories and knowledge and this process continues to happen through the fifth and sixth density as social complexes become more powerful and larger.  As a quick side note, the service to self path evolves through the fourth density with an intense narcissisms, self obsession and hatred of others.  The fourth density negative being skips over the green ray chakra because it sees love and understanding as useless and because an entity skips an energy center, the negative path is much longer and more difficult.  This is why channeled material uses "we" and "us" instead of "I" because after the third density individual consciousness becomes more and more unified as love increases and spiritual entropy decreases, and so this is also why teachers who channel aliens will say "we" and "us" instead of "I" because the entity they are channeling is a social memory complex.  This is why at the beginning of the Bible "let us create man in our image and after our likeness" and so due to the formation of these social memory complexes, communication quickly becomes more and more telepathic and this results in the complete disappearance to be dishonest and so as the veil of forgetting gradually disappears, we are going to see more and more people being born who remember their past lives as well. So being in a third density incarnation, each one of us possesses a yellow ray chemical body.  Each density level has it's own energy body that corresponds to its energy center.  So a red day body would be purely atomic, such as a rock or water and this body has much less ability to express consciousness that the orange or yellow ray such as the animal or human.  But when you dream and night if you know how to astral project, the body that you take with you is your indigo ray or pineal gland body, while your yellow ray chemical body is asleep in bed and this indigo ray body which is made of pure light can walk through walls and transform itself and do what it wants, that is the type of body that a sixth density being possesses natively.  All physical material is electromagnetism, and so light bodies exist farther up the scale of electromagnetism, so they have more ability to express consciousness.  There is a drastic difference to express consciousness at each density level because of the electromagnetic sliding scale.  SO it doesn't mean it is impossible for us at this level to do things like healing or psychic powers or telepathy, it just means that it's much more difficult due to these heavy dense chemical bodies that we possess.  So if a fourth density extraterrestrial being came to visit us they would be able to do and know things that would appear God-like to us in the same way that our ability to use verbal language and make tools and use technology appears God-like to a second density animal.  The difference between fourth and fifth density is equally as drastic. 
• 5th Density - 
  • The fifth density of that of wisdom and light as is associated with the blue ray or throat chakra and is the first body in the densities to be made entirely of light.  There are certain imbalances in the fourth density that seek to become balanced in the fifth density because there is an over zealousness in the fourth density service that can lead to martyrdom.  Meaning the sacrificing of one's self in order to serve another self.  And so the fifth density balances out the love and understanding learned in fourth density with the wisdom of the fifth... tbc later.

Quote

In the Hindu Tantric model, the kundalini is an accumulation of forces in the root-chakra. A female principle, she is represented as a coiled she-serpent, asleep. When awakened through yogic practices, she hisses and ascends along the central channel (sushumna), piercing the chakras on her way, and reaching the crown chakra where she becomes one with the adept's transcendental consciousness – this union of Shakti and Shiva principles paralleling the mystical wedding of the hermetic tradition. Note that there are several variations on this model.

Taking a human being as a microcosm (small world), image of the macrocosm (big world, the creation at large), the kundalini is the repository of all dormant potential of prakriti, 'Nature' in the widest possible meaning of the term. Which is why, once awakened, she triggers many new abilities in the body of energy of the adept. Traditionally, a full awakening of kundalini is said to bestow a number of supernatural powers, or siddhis (literally 'perfections').

Maybe I like the pain
Bring me to life again
Maybe I need the chains
'Cause they're holding me together
Learning to love the lie
Tearing me up inside
I don't have enough to fight
It's too simple to surrender

 Comparing kundalini and Dragon

• Like the kundalini the Dragon is a female principle, sheer power, the source of all forces of Nature.
• One is a snake, the other one a Dragon. But note that ancient mythologies often didn't differentiate clearly between snakes, winged snakes and dragons.
• Both kundalini and Dragon correspond to the power of the lower chakras. Yet, strictly speaking, the kundalini is seated in the root chakra, whereas the Dragon includes the power of all the centres of energy in and below the root of the body – the Underworlds at large.
• Note that the structure which holds the mother charge (the interface between a human being and the Dragon) is a toroid, a doughnut shape located at the base of the body and reminiscent of the kundalini's coils.

https://clairvision.org/books/altmc/a-language-to-map-consciousness.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kundalini

SPIRITUAL HEROES SPONTANEOUSLY WORSHIP KALI

• In the Tantric pantheon, Kali is mentioned as the first of the ten Great Cosmic Wisdoms, because in a certain way she is the one who “spins the wheel of the universal time”.
• On the other hand, at the end of the manifested world, time (in Sanskrit Kala) devoured all the universes of the three plans of the creation: the physical, the astral and the causal universes.
• The Great Cosmic Wisdom Kali finally devours the time itself, which is Kala, and this is the very reason for which Kali is viewed as the primordial cause of the creation and destruction of the universe.
• The famous Tantric writing Nirvanatantra associates Kali to Brahman, the Supreme, as representing both the being (the existence) and the infinite consciousness in manifestation.
• This association has allowed the worship of Kali both from the metaphysical abstract perspective, as well as from a more concrete perspective, which implies certain attributes (functions, characteristics, qualities).
• According to the Tantric tradition, the whole manifested world springs from the Infinite Consciousness of the beatific union between Shiva and Shakti.
• The function of the creation comes to the divine energy bearing the name Brahmani Shakti. The universe thus created has to be maintained in the manifestation, function performed by Shakti Vaishnavi.
• Nonetheless, both the creation and the preserving aspects imply a molecular “death” or “destruction” of each form of the universe, function performed by Rudrani Shakti.
• In fact, Brahmani, Vaishnavi and Rudrani are the consorts of the three Hindu gods Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva (also named Rudra).

https://www.sivasakti.com/tantra/dasa-maha-vidya/kali/

"Let's go for a walk."

 

Edited August 26, 2021 by Loba
The science of reincarnation - become God - seven densities - 8 graves - life path number 9. 9 lives from now, start to finish. "Change me." Such things take lifetimes of study, don't they?

[Loba]

Quote

So much information is here.  All I have to do is reach in when the time is right and pull it out.  Thank You.
You do not have the ability to Know where someone is at in their spiritual journey and this is why my karmic "snap" was so strong.
I was in a hostage situation, that I knew I would be in beforehand and I looked like a loon.  It didn't drive me mad, it drove me illusory mad.
Madness to the common eye, but what I had seen was the female face of Death herself.  And what she said, inbetween my glances at a humane pet trap - "Have a heart." and in between the first favorites on the computer I was using... if I can remember only one it was, "The importance of not labeling things."
And she stood out, looking disgusted and furious, in between the lines of reality.  And THAT is when I lost my mind.  Because there She was.  The real deal.  And it 'was' my doing that it played out in such a way, too.
That's hard to accept, and that is what causes this psychological change in me.  I can't see karma.  I have a personality problem from a hard childhood.
And this karma was yelled at me loud and clear.  

But, just like with Shiva, this goddess did not know where I was at spiritually.  I come across more adept than I am, and it fools even the ancients.  I ignore it in myself, so how would they ever know?  You have to Know first.  I don't know why this is.  But you do.
Especially for her.  If you choose Kali, you don't choose another Goddess.  I never have.  I follow the Wolf, because he is so similar - but I would not worship the Wolf like I would Kali, as She is the one who offers the most complete answers, from a place of seeing Good and Bad.  And merging the two.  And in that nuance
is a form of beauty that most people fail to notice.  It "lights up".  It is like having the "experience" of many universes looking at you, offering it, and you just have to reach in.
Something about human, or in general, lives from this dimension is important.
The image of Kali is a good translator, but people use it like she is a blood thirsty being and this is not so.  She is the welcoming space for absolute wild.  She "is" it, but is also the space in between, the philosophy of it all.

She is also the hallucination in the desert, too... and that is the problem.  She is... tricky.  The deep, dark blackness before all else is a womb.  Everything exists within a feminine womb.  And the masculine, the Nothing that Holds space for the feminine - does not exist at all without the feminine.
The static, the masculine, is not even static without the feminine.  The feminine is what creates from "What Is."
There is no masculine without the feminine.  The masculine is not even masculine at that stage, it is simply the blank slate static, of which the feminine works through.
Jai Kali Maa!
Kali is the first in tantric tradition.  The one who works with your kundalini.  She is the dancing one, the one who happily dances on the static, with garlands of egos she has worked through.
I will be a notch on the belt, so to speak.  An ego that takes lifetimes of worship to perfect.  I will emulate Her has best I can.  For now, this is my directional life.  I know how to navigate in my ship.

 

Edited August 26, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

"Offer of Lore."

Book - Magic of Kali - An entire free  book on Kali's magic.  A lot of info in here.
Why we must worship Goddess Kali
Shiva and Kali - the tantric symbolism

Ma Kali is the most misunderstood of all Hindu Goddesses, though she is often regarded as the most powerful. Kali's dark and fierce form is certainly intimidating and hard to fathom, unless one is willing to look with discernment behind the veil of sensational images about her.

Ma Kali was first introduced to the modern world by Ramakrishna Paramahansa as the Supreme Mother of the Universe. Through Ramakrishna - an avatar for many - the inspiration of Ma Kali awoke India to its ancient spiritual heritage and brought the unifying message of yoga to the world.

This was at a time in which the world was dominated by colonial powers and the idea of a Universal Mother was not accepted - much less a World Mother who was dark in colour and fierce in demeanour from a backward country like India!

Nature of Ma Kali

Ma Kali is kala shakti or the power of time. She indicates the impermanence of all things, which is why she wears a garland of skulls. Yet she is also the ultimate transforming power of time, which is to take us from death to immortality. Along with endless time, Kali is boundless space, the limitless void, indicated by her dark blue colour. Her magical dance of transformation is all existence.

Kali holds the vidyut xhakti, the lightning or electrical force of consciousness that is the supreme power. All the goddesses and the entire universe manifests from her indomitable force. Kali's seed mantra is "kreem," which is the kriya shakti or power of transformation behind the vast movement of life.

Kali is not the goddess of death and destruction as some see her but, on the contrary, represents the complete victory of the Divine over all death and destruction. Her warrior goddess form removes all the illusions of the mind and reveals the undying presence of our inmost Self that is one with all.

Ma Kali as the yoga shakti

Kali is the inner power of yoga or yoga shakti. Yoga in the true sense is a practice of mergence and return to the Divine source of existence. Yoga rests upon nirodha, the full concentration of the mind and dissolution of the ego. Kali is the nirodha shakti, the power of negation, neti-neti, not this, not that, of the Upanishads.

Kali reminds one of Tagore's verses "Let me carry death in life that I may know life in death."

Yet, Ma Kali has a crucial social relevance today. Kali as the transforming power of time can usher us into a new era of global peace and understanding, if we can accept her demand for a real change of consciousness. Kali asks us to live for eternity, not merely for fleeting enjoyments or outer material gains.

Those seeking to bring the Divine Light into the world should worship Ma Kali.

Ma Kali as the supreme form of the Universal Mother absorbs her children back into her blissful embrace. She takes us across the deepest darkness to reach the highest light.

Jai Ma Kali!

Tantra: Unmaking and Making Life

I know that today, most people think tantra means unbridled promiscuity. This is because most of the tantric books today are written by Americans, and people read about tantra from magazines and books. Tantra does not mean promiscuity. Tantra means extreme discipline. Tantra means a technology, a method, a capability to unmake life and make life again. Tantra is to have such mastery over the system that you can dismantle life completely and put it back again.

The Symbolism of Kali Killing Shiva

You can have such mastery over life that life and death are both so completely in your hands, that you can dismantle life and put it back again. You can even kill the Divine and bring him back. This is not a feat that you are trying to show off to somebody. It is because you want to have such mastery over life.

Unless you have some mastery over life, you cannot do anything. Everyone has some mastery over life. Otherwise, what could you do? The level of mastery that you have determines how much you can do.

The image of Kali standing on Shiva essentially symbolizes having total mastery over the process of life. It means that you can kill God himself and then give life back to him. That is audacious, isn’t it? That is how the technology of tantra is.

 

Edited August 27, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Beatific Vision.

Sunbeams sifting through puffy morning clouds.
I see Your hand reaching out for Mine from within a painted sky.
It's awe inspiring.
Spinning, swirling vivid colours are dancing on My dinner plate.
Where to start with Your bouquet?
The sunbeams break through, shining on everything equally,
Before the heat envelopes each soft cotton cloud,
Dissolving every one into a trail of mist,
My plate is left bare and white,
And I note My reflection in the surface of the beaming ceramic.
If this is it, then this is It.

 

Edited August 28, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

•⊱⊱⊱⊱✸⊰⊰⊰⊰•
Long road ahead.  "You chose the long way."
I know.  I want to Know more.  And to have better future lives; to experience more happiness and wisdom.
"You are a soul, don't fight it."
It hits me.  I don't pay attention well enough to remember this in actuality. 
Directional life... means letting go of a lot in some respects.
"Road to Knowhere."
No shit.
Know shit.
I know shit and I don't know shit.  It's annoying.

@5:46 - Art is power.  Art is memetic.  Memetic influence is real magick.
Notes:

•  

Art can reshape a mind in an instant.  Technology influences the entire world in nearly every aspect of our lives.

 

Physical - Emotional/Mental - Soul

THE BLACK MADONNA AS KALI:

In Hinduism Kali is a manifestation of the Divine Mother. The name Kali comes from the Sanskrit root word Kal, which means both time and also black. She is equated with the eternal night, is the transcendent power of time, and is the consort of the god Shiva, the destroyer of unreality. There is nothing that escapes the all-consuming march of time. As the consort of the destroyer of unreality, She reveals the illusory self-centered view of reality and compels the disillusion or destruction of the false ego. In Hinduism, Shiva and Kali grant liberation by removing the illusion of the ego and identification with the body, awakening the eternal I AM.

Her black skin represents the womb of the unmanifest quantum field from which all of creation arises and into which all of creation will eventually dissolve. She is depicted as standing on Shiva who lays beneath Her with white skin, in contrast to Her black or sometimes dark blue skin. He has a blissful detached look. Shiva represents pure formless awareness—sat-chit-ananda (being-consciousness-bliss)—while She represents “form” eternally supported by the substratum of pure awareness.

Of all the forms of the feminine principle in Hinduism, Kali is the most compassionate because She provides moksha or liberation to Her children. She destroys only to recreate, and what she destroys is sin, ignorance and decay. The ego trembles with fear when it sees Mother Kali because the ego sees in Her its own eventual demise. If one is attached to one’s ego Mother Kali will appear in a fearsome form. A mature soul who engages in spiritual practice to remove the illusion of the ego sees Mother Kali as very kind, affectionate, and overflowing with incomprehensible love for Her children.

In the Black Madonna you have an all-encompassing symbol of the divine feminine, the wildness, the fury, the ferociousness, the grandeur of destructiveness, the rage against illusions, the rage against cruelty and injustice that is also part of the sacred feminine.

The holiness and acute precision of her destruction, strips away the illusions of the ego, after which, she will pour a wholly new vision and new awareness into the dark empty void that she has prepared in your psyche.

https://sophiafoundation.org/the-black-madonna-a-divine-mystery-veiled-in-blackness/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahakali

Mahakali (Sanskrit: Mahākāḷī, Devanagari: महाकाली), is the much revered Hindu Goddess of destruction and doomsday. Mahakali is fiercest of the Goddesses of universal power, time, life, death and both rebirth and liberation. She devours Kala (Time) and then resumes her own dark formlessness. She is also the consort of Mahakala a form of Lord Shiva, the god of consciousness, the basis of reality and existence. Mahakali in Sanskrit is etymologically the feminized variant of Mahakala or Great Time (which is interpreted also as Death), an epithet of the god Shiva in Hinduism. Parvati and all her forms are the different manifestations of Mahakali.

Mahakali is most often depicted in blue/black complexion in popular Indian art.

Her most common four armed iconographic image shows each hand carrying variously a crescent-shaped sword, a trishul (trident), a severed head of a demon and a bowl or skull-cup (kapala) catching the blood of the severed head. Her eyes are described as red with intoxication and in absolute rage, her hair is shown disheveled, small fangs sometimes protrude out of her mouth and her tongue is lolling. The blood of the demons she slays drips out of her lolling tongue, having consumed it. She is adorned with a garland consisting of the heads of demons she has slaughtered, variously enumerated at 108 (an auspicious number in Hinduism and the number of countable beads on a Japa Mala, similar to a rosary, for repetition of Mantras) or 50, which represents the letters of the Sanskrit alphabet, Devanagari, and wears a skirt made of demon arms.

Her ten headed (dashamukhi) image is known as the 10 Mahavidyas Mahakali, and in this form she is said to represent the ten Mahavidyas or "Great Wisdom (Goddess)s". She is sometimes shown sitting on a flaming grave or a rotting corpse. Her complexion is described as that of the night sky, devoid of stars. She is depicted in this form as having ten heads, thirty flaming eyes, ten arms, and ten legs but otherwise usually conforms to the four armed icon in other respects. Each of her ten hands is carrying an implement which varies in different accounts, but each of these represent the power of one of the Devas or Hindu Gods and are often the identifying weapon or ritual item of a given Deva. The implication is that Mahakali subsumes and is responsible for the powers that these deities possess and this is in line with the interpretation that Mahakali is identical with Brahman. While not displaying ten heads, an "ekamukhi" or one headed image may be displayed with ten arms, signifying the same concept: the powers of the various Gods come only through her grace.

In either one of these images she is shown standing on the prone, inert body of Shiva. This is interpreted in various ways but the most common is that Mahakali represents Shakti, the power of pure creation in the universe, and Shiva represents pure Consciousness which is inert in and of itself. While this is an advanced concept in monistic Shaktism, it also agrees with the Nondual Trika philosophy of Kashmir, popularly known as Kashmir Shaivism and associated most famously with Abhinavagupta. There is a colloquial saying that "Shiva without Shakti is Shava" which means that without the power of action (Shakti) that is Mahakali (represented as the short "i" in Devanagari) Shiva (or consciousness itself) is inactive; Shava means corpse in Sanskrit and the play on words is that all Sanskrit consonants are assumed to be followed by a short letter "a" unless otherwise noted. The short letter "i" represents the female power or Shakti that activates Creation. This is often the explanation for why she is standing on Shiva, who is her husband in Shaktism, and also the Supreme Godhead in Shaivism. Another understanding is that the wild destructive Mahakali can only stop her fury in the presence of Shiva the God of Consciousness, so that the balance of life is not completely overrun over by wild nature.

In Kashmir Shaivism the highest form of Kali is Kalasankarshini who is nirguna, formless and is often show as a flame above the head of Guhya Kali the highest gross form of Kali. In Nepali Newar arts, both form and formless attributes of Kali is often envisioned in a single art form showing the hierarchy of goddesses in their tradition. In it Guhyakali image culminates in flame, with Kalasankarshini, the highest deity in the sequence, who consumes time within herself and is envisioned solely as a flame representing Para Brahman. She is like a divine actress in her own universal play who assumes the form/role of Sristi Kali, Rakta Kali, Yama Kali, Samhara Kali, Mrityu Kali, Rudra Kali, Mahakaala Kali, Paramaraka Kali, Kalagnirudra Kali, Martanda Kali, Sthitinasha Kali and Mahabhairavaghorachanda Kali who is none other than Kalasankarshini Kali

The Black Madonna, in all her manifestation, is ultimately the blackness of divine mystery celebrated by the great mystics who see the divine as forever unknowable, mysterious, beyond all our concepts, hidden from all our senses in a light so dazzling it registers as darkness. The Black Madonna is the black womb of light out of which all of the worlds are always arising and into which they fall, the presence behind all things, the darkness of love and the loving unknowing. The Dark Queen of Heaven guides us into the Highest Mysteries.

The Queen of Sheba spoke to King Solomon, “I am Black but I am Beautiful” (Song of Solomon 1:5). She is depicted twice in the Cathedral of Chartres, associated with the Prophets and Kings of Israel who are considered to be the foundation of Christianity. Rudolf Steiner indicated that the Queen of Sheba was the reincarnated Eve, the Mother of All, the progenitor of humanity. She then appears as the Black Madonna in her incarnation as the Queen of Sheba, and then as the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Virgin Soul and Queen of Heaven.

This sequence of incarnations contains a key to the mystery of spiritual evolution, the significance of the Black Madonna, the Hermetic principles of alchemy, and the creation of the Philosopher’s Stone.

Quote

Sri Aurobindo: The psychic being is the soul developing in the evolution.
The true soul of man is … in the true invisible heart hidden in some luminous cave of the nature: there under some infiltration of the divine Light is our soul, a silent inmost being of which few are even aware; for if all have a soul, few are conscious of their true soul or feel its direct impulse. There dwells the little spark of the Divine which supports this obscure mass of our nature and around it grows the psychic being, the formed soul or the real Man within us. It is as this psychic being in him grows and the movements of the heart reflect its divinations and impulsions that man becomes more and more aware of his soul, ceases to be a superior animal, and, awakening to glimpses of the godhead within him, admits more and more its intimations of a deeper life and consciousness and an impulse towards things divine. It is one of the decisive moments of the integral Yoga when this psychic being liberated, brought out from the veil to the front, can pour the full flood of its divinations, seeings and impulsions on the mind, life and body of man and begin to prepare the upbuilding of divinity in the earthly nature.

It is the very nature of the soul or the psychic being to turn towards the Divine Truth as the sunflower to the sun; it accepts and clings to all that is divine or progressing towards divinity and draws back from all that is a perversion or a denial of it, from all that is false and undivine. Yet the soul is at first but a spark and then a little flame of godhead burning in the midst of a great darkness …. It is only when the life turns towards the Divine that the soul can truly come forward and impose its power on the outer members; for, itself a spark of the Divine, to grow in flame towards the Divine is its true life and its very reason of existence.

The first [step of self-realisation] is the discovery of the soul, not the outer soul of thought and emotion and desire, but the secret psychic entity, the divine element within us. When that becomes dominant over the nature, when we are consciously the soul and when mind, life and body take their true place as its instruments, we are aware of a guide within that knows the truth, the good, the true delight and beauty of existence, controls heart and intellect by its luminous law and leads our life and being towards spiritual completeness. Even within the obscure workings of the Ignorance we have then a witness who discerns, a living light that illumines, a will that refuses to be misled and separates the mind’s truth from its error, the heart’s intimate response from its vibrations to a wrong call and wrong demand upon it, the life’s true ardour and plenitude of movement from vital passion and the turbid falsehoods of our vital nature and its dark self-seekings. This is the first step of self-realisation, to enthrone the soul, the divine psychic individual in the place of the ego.

I'll take you with me everywhere 
You're my best friend and my family
Without you I am not even there
No one would even know me.

Staring into your glowing face,
You look like the world to me now
And you were always changing shape
No use digging holes, got no seeds to sew

Always changing shape
Always changing shape

Shapeshifter.

 

Edited September 2, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

• Story of the black Madonna and the relation between Kali Maa

Yet for all her prevalence and influence, the Black Madonna remains a surprisingly misunderstood figure in mainstream Christianity. Too often, racism and ignorance obscure her true origins. One common account of the Black Madonna in France’s Chartres Cathedral holds that her skin was once white, but became dark over the centuries due to exposure to candle soot. This theory, although easily disproven, is accepted in many locations throughout Europe. In other cases, icons have been purposely whitened, such as in Rome’s Santa Maria del Popolo Church, where the representation displayed in the main altar has been bleached, while the same image on the choir altar remains black. In southern Spain, the icon of the Virgin of Regla, originally a single wooden statue, was split in half to separate the Jesus figure from its mother under the pretext of clothing the Madonna with luxurious robes – except that a white Christ Child, rather than the original dark-skinned version, was put back in its place. Given this frequent practice of cultural whitewashing, it comes as no surprise how little is known about the actual identity of this enigmatic figure.

Dr. Malgorzata Oleszkiewicz-Peralba, associate professor of Latin American Literary and Cultural Studies in the Department of Modern Languages and Literatures, studies syncretic religions and representations of the divine feminine. Her acclaimed book, The Black Madonna in Latin America and Europe, explores the historical precedents of modern-day Black Madonna worship. “It goes all the way back to primordial times,” she says. “In Russia and Poland, the Virgin Mary is referred to as the Mother of God. This is very close to her original name of Mother Goddess.”

As Dr. Oleszkiewicz-Peralba explains, the Mother Goddess, revered throughout all of human history in forms that change according to time and culture, represents the essential state of reality, that which gives birth to all of material existence. “She is the mother of universes, identified with the primordial darkness and chaos of the universe, and with the moist and fertile black earth.” Her many historical incarnations include the Roman goddess Ceres, the Anatolian and Roman Cybele, Artemis in ancient Greece, Kali in India, and the Ancient Egyptian Mother Goddess Isis. Like the Black Madonna, these and a host of pre-Christian goddesses associated with the earth and fertility were commonly depicted as crowned, seated on a throne, and holding a divine child on their lap.

Dr. Oleszkiewicz-Peralba believes that, in addition to her mystical and agricultural connotations, the Black Madonna also speaks to an ancient cultural memory of the African origins of humanity, representing the original mother of Earth’s children. “It is a memory that people all over the world carry. Because of this, blackness has a very strong symbolic meaning connected to love, nurturing, protection, transformation, power, wisdom, fertility, and justice.” Perhaps this collective memory contributes to the fact that the dark-skinned representations are the most revered icons in Mariology, and that the darker the skin, the more devotees and the higher the number of miracles associated with the icon.

Asked whether contemporary Black Madonna devotees are in fact practicing an ancient form of worship within the context of modern-day Catholicism, Dr. Oleszkiewicz-Peralba explains: “I don’t see much difference. They’re worshipping the same divine feminine element that has always been revered. It’s a continuity, but one that is waning with the spread of materialism and consumerism. As these new tendencies gain influence, the meaning of rituals and the sacred significance behind religious icons fades into the background. We forget why we do things. We lose the original meaning.”

Indeed, it was common practice in early Christianity for pagan shrines and icons to be incorporated and modified according to the interests of the religion. In many cases churches were built upon pre-Christian structures, and devotion to the old relics continued under the aegis of the new hosts. A clear example can be observed in the southern French village of Saintes Maries de la Mer, where thousands of Romani people make a pilgrimage every year to worship the icon of Sara-la-Kali, their patron saint and one of the unofficial Black Madonnas. The statue is kept in a church built over a site that once held a pagan temple, within a crypt that evokes the Mother Goddess through its physical representation as the womb of the earth. Sara-la-Kali, known as Saint Sarah in Christian terminology, represents a combination of the Virgin Mary and the Hindu goddess Kali. The figure, says Dr. Oleszkiewicz-Peralba, “stands on the margins between the Church’s official acceptance and sanction. These types of devotion continue to exist today and new forms are being created. They are very syncretic, containing layers of tradition, in this case from Europe and India.”

Syncretism, defined by Dr. Oleszkiewicz-Peralba as the blending of multiple cultural traditions giving way to a novel form of expression, implies both continuance and forgetting. While the Mother Goddess’ transference to Christianity brought with it a degree of institutional erasure, her presence continues to effect an irrevocable impression on human consciousness in the West through the figure of the Black Madonna. Dr. Oleszkiewicz-Peralba’s upcoming book, currently in manuscript form, is an extension of her Black Madonna research and focuses on representations of fierce feminine goddesses throughout Europe, Asia, and the Americas. “Most of these strong female figures have been either sweetened, demonized, relegated to fairytales, ridiculed, or dismissed. Kali is the only one that is still exalted and worshipped as a goddess in India,” she says.

Perhaps one day the Black Madonna will regain her throne as the acknowledged Mother Goddess, the progenitor of reality, humanity, and the unifying element among spiritual traditions both ancient and modern. But for millions of devotees the world over who worship her, no such wait is necessary. Knowingly or subconsciously, these individuals practice a powerful form of worship that connects them to the very roots of humanity and even beyond, to the origins of the universe itself.

 

Edited September 2, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Quote

The Black Madonna: 'We come from, and are contained somehow, by this darkness'

The Black Madonna is also the Queen of Nature, the agent of all fertile transformation in the outside world and in the psyche. She urgently demands a return to balance and wholeness, honoring the earth and representing ecology and environmental concerns, according to theologian Matthew Fox. “Her return is a sign of our times.”

“She is Crow, black as the night sky and the richest soil, dark as the miracle of deeply watered earth in the arid Southwest. She is the mother who fertilizes all life. She visits Hopi villages to initiate the young in the predawn winter darkness. She is the Keeper of the Balance.”

Crow Mother comes from the spirituality of the Earth as does the Black Madonna.

With contemporary lore about black holes at the center of our galaxy and elementary particles burbling into existence out of nothing, Craighead said, “science now shows us pragmatically what people in both the Old World and the New have probably always known forever, with their deep hunches about our origins. Black is holy. It’s the mysteries of the night sky. We both come from and are contained somehow by this darkness.”

The most commonly accepted theory deems the images' skin colour to be accidental: these Madonnas were once white, but have darkened through ageing and exposure to candle soot.

This explanation is as much anecdotal as it is a symptom of cultural whitewashing.

It is hard to believe that all these images, represented in various materials, would have aged in a particular way that capriciously turned only their faces and hands black. (The same phenomenon has not been observed in equal proportion in representations of Jesus Christ.)

Another explanation associates the Black Madonna with a biblical verse, saying that it refers to the words of the Bride in the Song of Solomon: “I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem.” This theory at least accepts a clear intention behind the blackness of the images.

But I, and many others, were still not convinced.

As there has always been exchange and continuity between different cultures and religious systems, I am strongly inclined to agree with historians who argue that the Black Virgin Mary is linked to ancient pre-Christian worshipping of Mother Earth and other female divinities.

These divinities are shared ancestors between her and goddesses such as Cybele, Artemis, Gaia and Isis (some of them often portrayed as black). In this case, black is not only a mystical colour associated with fertile earth, but also an expression of an ancient cultural memory that connects us back to our early history in Africa.

But what can she still tell us today? What significance can she have beyond religion and faith? I believe icons like the Black Madonna can do a lot for us. They can help us change the way history is told. They can speak about all the other histories that have been neglected in favour of Western, male-centric narratives we’ve become so used to, and in which museums are often traditionally grounded.

Call me when you're ready to be real
Black Madonna, hallelujah
Makes no difference here, so let's be real
Black Madonna, my black flower
Nowhere left to run, nowhere left to hide
You're not havin' fun, I think that you should ride
Call me when you're ready to be real
Black Madonna, my hallelujah

Quote

GAIA Theory - the Earth is Alive

The GAIA Hypothesis, most simply expressed is that: "The Earth is Alive". The Gaia Hypothesis conjectures that our planet functions as a single organism that maintains conditions (not unlike homeostasis in humans) necessary for its survival. Formulated by James Lovelock in the mid-1960s and published in a book in 1979, this controversial idea has spawned several interesting ideas and many new areas of research. While this hypothesis is by no means substantiated, it provides much to ponder about the symbiosis of physical, chemical, geological, and biological processes on Earth. In short, it is a very pretty hypothesis.

One thing making the theory pretty is that it seemingly forces a conjunction to occur between what I will call the spiritual and the scientific belief systems. These belief systems have evolved for centuries in a sort of détente, with an unspoken agreement to be non-antagonist to each other (unless one went too far, like Galileo). On the spiritual side is the concept of Mother Earth that we have all heard, simply because it has been very much a part of human culture (part of our brief existence as a species) in myriad forms. The concept was central to the religion of Native Americans and is prominent in Hinduism as the goddess Kali. It is perhaps the ancient Greeks who had the best metaphor. They named their Earth goddess Ge or Gaia. An embodiment of the notion of a Mothering Earth, the source of the living and non-living entities that make up the Earth. Both Kali and Gaia was gentle, feminine and nurturing, but also ruthlessly cruel to any who crossed her. Gaia was the Greek goddess who drew the living world forth from Chaos. The prefix "ge" in the words geology and geography is taken from the Greek root for Earth. I believe it is fair to say that the concept of Mother Earth has been omnipresent and ubiquitous in human history, and anything but "new age".

I'm sure that most of us can see how such a spiritually framed concept could be difficult pill for some scientists to swallow, creating controversy. Regardless, the hypothesis persists. My own viewpoint is that it is not unlike Einstein's search for a Universal Field Theory, a set of natural laws equally applicable to systems of any size, from sub-nuclear to cosmic. Let's look of some of the many facets involved in Gaia.

A primary tenet of GAIA is reciprocal interaction between everything on Earth and the Sun. The sun interacts with life (primarily through photosynthesis) and life interacts with rocks (primarily in soil making). The Earth's mantle transmits nutrients to the surface through volcanoes, particularly at spreading ridges, and reciprocally, the earth's crust feeds the mantle at subduction zones. The diving plates at subduction zones also make the andesite and granite associated with subduction.

Much of Earth is indeed governed and caused by life. Level bottom marine habitats with soft sediments deeper than wave base, have sediment entirely made by the biota. Wherever waves affect things (sandstones and the like) sedimentology plays a role, but not in any fine grained sediment -- these in rocks are fine limestones and shales. Thus the structure of most marine rocks is biologically determined. Terrestrial rocks (e.g., the badlands of South Dakota) are a series of soils formed on overbank deposits and so, being soils, most of the structure is biologically determined. Hence, most marine and terrestrial rocks derive their structure biologically. Also, life controls both the much high free oxygen and small free Carbon dioxide levels of our atmosphere. Our atmosphere composition is inextricably liked to the atmosphere, that life maintains. Plate tectonics is enabled because the plates cool and can subduct. Before life diminished the carbon dioxide, the planet was hot owing in part to a greenhouse effect, suppressing subduction (like the lifeless planet Venus is today). Hence, plate tectonics also is biologically caused, with profound importance to life. Degassing is most prominent at spreading ridges and this would supply much nutriment. Most mountain building is caused by plate tectonics, so, in effect, life caused plate tectonics.

In summary, the GAIA hypothesis says that the temperature, oxidation, state, acidity, and certain aspects of the rocks and waters are kept constant, and that this homeostasis is maintained by active feedback processes operated automatically and unconsciously by the biota.

Or, as Darwin put it:

"whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being evolved."

GAIA to me encompasses what I believe Darwin was thinking as he was awed by an ostensible interconnectedness of the all the natural terrestrial systems - GAIA, to me is a very pretty theory.

 

Edited September 3, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Quote

Darkness, Spirit and the Feminine

It is the tendency of our culture to mistake what is dark within ourselves for what is wounded, rather than seeing darkness as its own kingdom, and carrying its own beauty.

It has been a long path for me to separate my rather dark tendencies from what was wounded within me. We tend to speak of dark as “bad”, and especially in modern spiritual communities the idea of transmuting anything that is not of the utmost purity into “light” is the predominant ideal.

This means that individuals who are naturally dark, who resonate with the earth, with death, who if they saw something slightly mischievous or simply not compassionate would be fine or even curious (to get along swimmingly with), who love their inner wildness, their bodies, their sexuality– all things that a perfectionist mind steeped in unconscious christianized patriarchal mythologies creates strict guidelines against in an effort to separate from– are often cast out of spiritual communities, or must find their way in “dark” communities often populated by individuals who are confusing darkness for adolescent angst or mental instability.

I have been sitting with this pattern for years, as what I have noticed is that those who are the “darkest” carry the most light. Generally many of the individuals steeped in “lightwork” are simply looking for escapism; many who believe that they are only working with what is “compassionate” are simply self-creating or may even be being fooled because of their lack of discernment when it comes to the spiritual realms. 

If we consider the feminine, it is of kundalini, or of creative principle and consciousness. The female form has the unique capacity to create, and is integrally tied to kundalini, or the creative principle.

A kundalini awakening is then the emerging of that creative principle (consciousness) and its rising up the midline, taking us through the varying levels of consciousness until we are able to permanently reside with our divine, realized selves.

 

Stephen Benko in The Virgin Goddess (1993) has argued that Black Madonna is a pagan survival and evidence of an ancient earth goddess cult that was in part absorbed by Chrisitianity.  He notes that many goddesses were pictured as black, among them Artemis of Ephesus, Isis and Ceres. Ceres, the Roman goddess of agricultural fertility, is central to Benko’s argument, as Ceres’s Greek equivalent, Demeter, derives from Ge-meter or Earth Mother. The colour of the skin may relate to the fertility of black soil.

Levannah Morgan, at the Museum's workshop "Isis: Queen of Heaven" in December 2016 said that some of the Black Madonnas are actually statues of the Goddess Isis that were reconfigured for use by the early Church.  Several of the Churches/places associated with Black Madonna worship were previously centres of Isis worship (many were near the Sea and Isis was Goddess of the ships or Stellar Maris).

 

Edited September 3, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

How to reparent yourself:

Notes:

• All of us were parented. For many of us, it went well. We were loved, our views were respected, our needs were tended to.  It helped to make us the more or less sane people we are now.
• For others among us, things went really rather badly wrong.  Perhaps there was unreliability, anger, humiliation, violence or worse.
• If there was, we’re liable to have been deeply marked.  We may, even if it all happened quite a number of years ago now, keep noticing new ways in which the past is getting in the way of a good life in the present.  Our inadequate parenting experiences undermine our ability to have sound relationships, the right sort of confidence and to extend adequate nurture to ourselves.
• We would like, of course, to move on. There is something unbalanced and deeply cruel in the idea of the first 12 years determining the next 50.
• We cannot change the past, but it does remain open to us to correct at least some of its repercussions.
• We may learn to do this through a neglected and yet deeply powerful process we call re-parenting.
• How our parents behaved will have laid down a template in our minds about how we should respond to challenges. But we don’t need to remain forever stuck with the kind of care which we imbibed in the early years.
• We by nature have an ability to parent ourselves. What this means is, an ability to comfort ourselves at moments of difficulty - to interpret the troubles that beset us with imagination and kindness - to encourage ourselves in the face of anxiety and loss - and to reassure the more fragile, agitated parts of us by drawing upon our experience and our serene aspects.
• All this is what good parents do for their children, but if this did not happen to us, we can still - in adulthood - step in and do it for ourselves. One part of the mind can speak to the other, one part can act as the sane, resilient counterweight to the bruised more immature side of the self.
• We don’t need to be limited in our spirit by those who were meant to care for us, we can figuratively put an arm around our own shoulder.
• Our experience of the shortfalls of our own parents offer us an expertise that is wasted if it stays stuck at the level of criticism. It should become the template for a far more useful project: the creation of an inner ideal parent, who acts in all the ways in which the real thing should have done, but didn’t quite.
• Knowing so much about what we did not have enables us to be experts at what we need - and should believe we can provide for ourselves.  We already have the perfect inner parent; it’s simply in many ways the opposite of the one we had.
• Though childhood is a one off event in material time, in psychological time, it is endlessly recurring. The eight year old us is still there - and we can talk to it and respond to it in a way that allows it to mature and strengthen in the way it always should.
• We should make use of a much underestimated capacity of reparenting ourselves.

 

Notes:

• You were source energy before you came into these physical bodies; you don't remember that and there's a reason that you don't - but you were you were source energy before you came into these physical bodies and now you are an extension of that source energy. 
• So here you are focused just as you intended to be focused upon the things of your time-space reality and you are utilizing your focus to help you personally independently identify your preferences.
• Sometimes you don't really grasp that you; you don't really understand how perfect it is and how important it is that you deliberately choose.
• So anyway, that's step one: You ask for what you want and you can't stop asking because life just continues to serve itself up to you in ways that cause you to identify your preferences. It happens all day every day, at all levels of your being.
• It's really what the evolution of all species is about.
• So when you know what you don't want, you know what you do want.
• If someone's rude you want them to be nicer, if you're rude you want to be nicer, if you're unhappy you want to be happier, if something's gone wrong you wanted to go right.  In other words you don't have enough of something, you want more of it - it's a very simple equation.
• Not hard for you to figure it out and you're doing it all day every day, but what you may not know is that every time whether you speak it out loud or not something happens like that you are launching these vibrational preferences and the larger part of you is aware of the preference that you have launched and becomes it, because your inner being is unconditional.
• Your inner being rides the rocket of your desire, when you say I prefer something your inner being doesn't say, "Well there aren't that many of them going around." Your inner being doesn't say, "Well, that's risky business." And it's unlikely your inner being doesn't say, "You don't have the education for that, or the money for that, or the background for that when you launch a rocket - a request a preference  - a desire.
• Your intervene becomes a vibrational match to it immediately and because you are an extension of that inner being who has become a match to it now you hold the potential of splitting your energy.
•  If you don't become a match to it, too, you see how it works when you say, "I want that the source within you says done we're there, we've got it we're a vibrational match to it because everything that manifests is first a vibrational frequency and the source within you will give you this." Can more easily match your desires because in the energy stream it is immediate in your manifestation world.
• You've got some bugs to work out of your vibrational frequency.  Source doesn't have to work those bugs out because source already believes in you.  Source already knows your value.  Source already knows your worthiness.  Source remembers why you came and who you are, so when you launch a rocket about something that you would like more, source is right there in that frequency and in fact the only reason that any of you ever feel any slight or strong negative emotion is because source finds the frequency the fullness of the desire that you've launched and when you don't there's vibrational discord between you and source. 
• Does that make sense to you?  The only reason if there were ever if ever a way for you to understand that source exists, it must be in your emotional awareness because if there were not someone keenly interested in you and holding a vibrational frequency about you then you could think anything you want and you would feel no vibrational variance.
• That's something really to think about when you feel negative emotion, it always means the same thing:  You've got a different opinion about this than source has about this, and that's something else we really want you to hear.
• Source does have an opinion about this, and this, and this, and this, now, now, now, now. 
• Source adores you when you're mad at yourself.  You've got a split going on, there's a gap widening.   
• Source adores the people of this planet.  When you carve out a section of them and hate them, you've got a rift going on between you and source.
• You will never be able to be in alignment with source when you hold hate in your heart because of some condition that you can't control.
• As you get to know source better through your awareness of what it feels like to be in alignment, you can learn in a matter of days how source feels about everything that is active on your planet today.
• You can just give it the emotional test when you think of thought and you feel love, you can know source is in agreement with this thought.
• And when you think a thought and you feel fear you can know source is not anything close to an agreement on this thought, so once you get clear about what this emotional guidance system is then you can get on with what you've come to get on about.
• Then you can be the deliberate creator.  You can be or do or have anything that you choose because you've got this back up so step. 
• One is contrast, helps you to define what you want, you do it all day every day, and step two is source becomes it vibrationally immediately.
• When you ask, source becomes the vibrational equivalent of it.  The energy that creates worlds.

• Imagine that the energy that creates worlds, the vibrational equivalent to your desires keeping the light on, keeping the vibration steady so that anytime you get in the vicinity or away from the vicinity you'll know where you are in relationship to it, helps you to zero in on who you really are and what you really want. 
• To become the fullness of all that you are so your work really is the step three part of this three-step process now step four process, but step three process we talked about for so many years:
• Ask source answers and then you must find a way to become a vibrational match to what you're asking for, in other words, you can't want something and doubt it and get it.  You can't want something and be mad that you don't have it, and get it, you can't want something and be impatient about it the flight attendant saying,  "Thank you for your patience," and as you said you're confused about you must be talking about the previous flight, because no patience happening here, you can tell by the way you feel whether you are in alignment or whether you are not.
• So we are eager to talk with you about anything that matters to you, we're going to help you to find some ways if you want them to line up easily with who you are and what you want.
• In some ways some of the things that we will suggest today you will stubbornly protest against a little bit because it's just going to seem too simple and some of the things that we're going to say to you and promises that we're going to make to you, you may even doubt a little bit because they're just words that sort of kind of make sense and maybe you feel resonance with them but you haven't had the manifestational evidence in your life yet about it, but we know that with just a little bit of listening and a little bit of resonance and a little bit of awareness and then a little bit of focusing that you will find manifestational evidence about everything that we talk about here today.
• You're going to know precisely how your thoughts become the reality that you are living so that not only you are aware of, but others who are observing you as well says we've been talking to you about launching these rockets of desires, we also wrote a book about where they go we called it The Vortex.

• It's this vibrational reality that you cannot yet see or hear or smell or taste or touch, you can feel it emotionally.
• Well that's just annoying to people, we spend a lot of time trying to talk you into getting into the vortex where everything you want is and and you are very nice to us no one ever got up and left the room well just that one guy,  but you were you were interested about the vortex, but you began saying things like,  "Okay, so my fortunes in the vortex, Abraham. I want it to come out of the vortex and into my bank because it's nice knowing that I've created realities that I can't see yet or that others can't see, but really how long can this go on how long how long do you think you can keep me hopeful about things that aren't tangible?" and we say, "It was never your intention to come and live without the tangibility - you are in a time space reality where you can measure your existence through your manifestations we just want you to understand that if you've got a vibration going on that is keeping you from being a vibrational match to what you want the manifestation that you want cannot come, and you wouldn't want it to."
• So then we began talking to you about, "So here's all of this vibrational reality." and you're going, "Yeah yeah yeah yeah, we accept it get on with it, how do I get it into my reality where I can see it where others can see it?"
• And so we began talking about your point of attraction for a while we called it a grid it's your point of attraction it's like the framework of who you are looking for different ways to help you feel the reality of your point of attraction.
• Your point of attraction where you stand and mostly it's about how you feel, how you feel right now, how do you feel right now, what's your mood, what is the mood that is swirling around you, because your mood is the best indicator that we that you have your mood to let you know what the vibrational atmosphere is that you've got going on, and your vibrational atmosphere matters because it is your point of attraction.
• How you feel, your mood, the thoughts you're thinking, the beliefs you hold, what's going on, the conversations you have, how you move in the world, how you feel in the world, what you're doing now, now, now, now, now, right now.

• You have a relationship with your vortex right now you, have a relationship with your vibrational reality, and the question that we want you to ask yourself is is the relationship that you have with something that's in your vibrational reality in your vortex, is the relationship you have one of holding it away (and you can tell by the way you feel whether you are holding it away or whether you are allowing it in - you can also tell by whether it's coming in or not) in other words it's not this is not we're not asking you to just hold yourself in this emotional state of being and just take our word for it, what we're saying to you is take our word for it hold yourself in the emotional state of being and watch the evidence move from your vibrational reality into your reality until before long you will have such confidence in your ability to manifest anything that you desire because you will have discovered what kinds of things you've been doing that have been preventing the things that you want from coming easily.
• And we can tell you in a very succinct nutshell kind of a sentence what it mostly is your observation of the conditions that exist now are the reason that you keep repeating a pattern that holds away the things you want it really is that simple: you got to change the way you look at things you got to reorient yourself, you've got to become more vibrational interfacing, you have to trust the way you feel, you have to accept that you have guidance, you have to accept that your guidance is always leading you toward what you want, and you have to be aware of when you're moving toward what you want when you're not moving toward what you want and you have to accept that the emotions that you hold are the indicator of whether you're moving closer or further.
• You can just tell.   You'll get so good at this that you'll be in the middle of a conversation you'll stop talking right in the middle of it because you'll realize that you're moving away from what you want rather than toward what you want.
• So often in your quest to make someone else understand what you mean who's in a different vibrational frequency and is not hearing what you mean, in your attempt to get them to hear what you mean you are responding to the condition of them not hearing so you are basing what you are saying based upon what they are not hearing and then you join them in their frequency rather than maintaining yours and then instead of them hearing what you mean you hear what they mean and nothing changes.
• So let's just start talking about some stuff that's important to you and let's make everything that we said just now more tangible for you.
• Let's let.
• We want you to feel your thoughts becoming manifested, we want you to feel the movement of the vibration into awareness into emotion and then into see it hear it smell it taste it touch it tangible manifested stuff just like you intended you're here just to accumulate stuff but you are here as a masterful creator you're here to mold the energy and how your life is playing out is evidence of how you're doing.

 

Edited September 8, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Notes:

• So, my question to you is this fundamentally what do you care about more if you have a child: do you care more about realizing what's true, or do you care more about improving the survival chances of your child? 
• If you had to choose between those two, which would you choose?
• Over 90 percent of people would choose their child over the truth.
• Why are you then surprised at all the inequality in the world?
• We have all this inequality: we have racism, we have sexism, we have income inequality, we have people bullying each other, we have inequality in terms of what school you can go, to what part of town you can live in, are you cool with that?
• Is that the kind of society you want to live in?
• Is that a good society? Is that a healthy society?
• How would you like it if I had a bias against you? 
• I have lots of people who watch my videos but let's say I knew you personally and I just developed a bias against you, I didn't like you, I didn't like your race, I didn't like your face, I didn't like how tall you were or how fat you were, or whether you're a man or a woman, or whatever you are I didn't like your sexual orientation, and I treated you badly.  I charged you more for my courses than everybody else.  I served up more ads on my videos specifically for you because I don't like you.
• How would you like that?  See, you would be outraged, and yet when you do this in your life relative to your children or to your career or whatever else you're involved in you act out on your biases all the time and you rationalize and excuse it away as that's perfectly fine, and then you turn around and you get upset at all the unfair treatment in the world, you get upset that women don't want to have sex with you equally as much as they do with the chads, or you get upset that men will cheat on you with more beautiful women, you get upset at that. 
• You don't like that, you see, so fundamentally what selfishness is: selfishness is trying to get unequal treatment when it serves you and then trying hard as hell to avoid unequal treatment when it doesn't serve you.
• That's what selfishness is and that's what ego is all about.
• That's what your whole life has been about.
• Are you upset at the elites who are running the country and running the world? Are you upset that it's unfair that these giant multi-billion dollar corporations are lobbying the government and corrupting the government with their donations and lobbyists and political action committees and so forth, and they are buying the politicians?
• Are you upset at that? Why? After all your whole life revolves around inequality in favor of yourself, but that's what those elites and corporations are doing. They're just following exactly the same principle that you've been following.
• They're biased towards their own corporations and interests, they want subsidies and tax breaks for their company, they want laws that favor their company so for them inequality when it serves them.
• It's your own logic reflected back you, but you see the whole trick of the ego is that it sort of uses a two-way mirror.
• It lets the inequality sort of shine through in one direction but then when it tries to come back in the other direction it reflects it off, so when you're being unequal and it serves you, you're happy, you're happy as hell, but as soon as someone else is being unequal to you in exactly the same manner under the same conditions and principles just tit for tat.
• Now all of a sudden you're outraged.  Life is so unfair, but you don't care when life is unfair in your favor notice that.
• It takes a lot of self-honesty and integrity and commitment to truth to notice that.
• So ask yourself this question: why should your company get to get subsidies or tax breaks more than any other company?
• Question why is order better than disorder or chaos?
• Why is peace better than violence and war?
• Why do you like food x but hate food y, does the universe have the same preference for the food that you like or hate?
• Why is one style of clothing better than another style of clothing?
• Why do you like butterflies but you hate spiders and snakes?
• Why is being rich better than being poor?
• Why is being free better than being a slave?  You might say that, "Leo these things are so obvious."
• But they're not obvious; I want you to question these so deeply that you realize that it's actually not better to be rich than it is to be poor, and it's not better to be free than it is to be a slave. 
• These are biases you have, these are distortions in your world view and your perception and your cognitive processes processes as a result of survival, and in fact you are so attached to survival that you can no longer even honestly admit to yourself that these are distortions.
• You have internalized the distortions so deeply that you actually think that these are somehow absolutely true.  There are millions of people in the world who actually honestly believe that freedom is better than slavery in some objective sense and they call that objectivity.
• it's a complete perversion of what objectivity is. Objectivity says that there's no difference between freedom and slavery.
• It's subjectivity and bias that says that there is.
• The only reason you don't like the idea of being a slave is because it wouldn't feel good, but who said that your feelings should dictate what's true, what's important, or what should or shouldn't happen in the universe?
• Is the universe supposed to honor your feelings? Is that what you want, your personal feelings to run the universe?
• Think about that for a moment, what that would mean if your personal feelings ran the universe?
• You feel this way today, you feel that way tomorrow, your feelings are up and down, you're depressed, you're miserable, you're hateful, you're bitter, you're fearful.
• Is this what you want running the universe? Think about how deeply selfish and biased you are, and you want that to run the universe?
• Are you fucking insane? And you get upset at god for not catering to all of your stupid petty little whims and biases and fetishes and fears and aversions, and you curse god for constructing this horrible universe, why, because it doesn't cater to your every whim and  comfort, need, you're literally crazy with what you're doing you have the entire thing backwards.

 

Edited September 10, 2021 by Loba
This song on repeat all day.

[Loba]

And then I found out how hard it is to really change
Even hell can get comfy once you've settled in
I just wanted the numb inside me to leave
No matter how fucked you get, sorrow is there when you come back down
Funny thing is, all I ever wanted I already had
There's glimpses of heaven in every day
In the friends I have, the music I make, with the love I feel
I just had to start again

Quote

• Start with something light - takes 30-60 minutes uninterrupted:
• Close your eyes, relax and clear your mind for five minutes.
•  Sit back in your seat, get comfortable, make sure you won't be interrupted, close your eyes and relax, clear your mind and take a few breaths.
• Now bring to mind the person you will be forgiving in this exercise.
• Now bring to mind the situation you will be forgiving in this exercise.
• If you need to, when you relive this situation in your mind you can do so from a third person perspective, like an outsider looking at a past self as a future self - this will give you some distance, to remain detached if you were in a deeply traumatic situation.
• Observe the situation in your mind what happened.  Replay it a few times in your mind what happened.
• Keep replaying that situation in your mind while Leo talks.
• Notice your true feelings towards this person as a result of this situation.
• You might love this person, but deep down there might be some resentful feelings that might have been swept under the rug to come back and face - notice your true feelings, how did it make you feel?  How did it actually make you feel?
• What feelings about this situation and person haven't you fully expressed yet?  What have you kept uncommunicated and unsaid.  What judgements do you have about this person in this situation?  Notice especially your judgements of them, like "She was evil, he was a bad person, so gross what he did, so terrible what was said, ect."  How did this person wrong you or hurt you or fail you?  What is it that you wanted from them but they failed to give you in this situation and how do you really feel about that?  Go to your true, genuine feelings.  Allow them.
• Keep replaying this situation over and over again in your mind from a distanced perspective.
• Ask yourself if you want to forgive this person for this situation.  Yes or no?  But don't feel forced to say yes.  Your mind should gain traction with the questions if you are true to your pace and feelings.
• What does forgiveness mean, what are we asking you to say yes or no to?  Are you willing to let go of what they did to you without holding it against them in any way any more, are you willing to let go of the hurt and sense of injustice?  Are you willing to stop judging them?  Are you willing to stop demonizing them?  Are you willing to understand the situation from their point of view, and extend your mercy to that person?  Are you willing to let go of needing to get even?
• Replay the situation in your mind again and look at the person in the face and take a look - can you forgive them?
• Before you submit your answer let's consider, what is the point of forgiving this person?  You may feel they don't deserve it.  Explore it.  Notice the negativity you are holding onto.  If it happened in childhood and you are now an adult you have been holding onto these feelings for years.
• Notice your hate, resentment and judgement weighs you down in life and makes you a bitter person, so my question is: do you want this negativity to continue in your life or let it go?  The choice is yours.
• Contemplate: Do you want to be a hateful person or a loving person?  What kind of life do you want to create for yourself going forward.
• Imagine that forgiveness will make you stronger as a person.  Do you want to be a strong person or a weak person?  Big or small?
• Now replay the situation in your mind, what kind of person do you want to be going forward?
• Stop acting like a victim, set your intention, what do you want?  Do you want to forgive or hold onto your resentment forever?  Do you want to become strong and from your highest self or continue being small and traumatized?  To have bad dreams and have it sour your relationships?
• Keep looking at this situation until you realize you want to be strong and not small which means you need to forgive.  If there is still resentment, keep at it until you realize forgiveness is the wisest course here.
• Now let's look at this situation from the other person's point of view.  Did they do it because they wanted to hurt you?  Be careful here, because if the event was traumatic and emotional then this can trigger you and you can feel that they do, but if you contemplate you may realize that the person didn't want to hurt you.  It may feel that way, but take a look and see what they might have been thinking, people are different.
• How you might be different from someone else because you have different strengths, weaknesses, genetics, upbringing, personality, capabilities, talents, experience, more or less money, more or less status, gender, ect, ect.
• Here is the key ?️ to this forgiveness business: notice in this situation whatever they did to hurt you they didn't do it because they wanted to cause you suffering they did it for five key reasons - universal truths about human behaviour:

Quote

?️ 1. - They did what they did to hurt you out of ignorance - that means that they were doing their best to do good in that situation, but given their limited understanding of life and limited capabilities, the result wasn't so good for you from your point of view and so it hurt you, but they were trying to do their best.  They were just ignorant and so their best wasn't that good.  Try to see that - universal point that covers many situations.  Most evil stuff that other people think do to them isn't really evil, it is just ignorant action - and that really that person who hurt you was trying to do what they thought was best for you from their point of view.
?️ 2. - Whatever they did to hurt you they did out of weakness and out of fear - maybe they cheated you somehow, maybe they cheated you somehow, maybe they lied to you.  Maybe they tried to screw you over.  Maybe they stole something from you.  Maybe they manipulated you.  Whatever they did to you, notice - try to see what their motivations for doing it were.  If they did something nasty, they were probably weak in that moment and succumbed to fear, some kind of fear.  They were afraid of something therefore they hurt you.  This is very universal and very common when people think that other people do evil things to them, usually those people who are doing the evil things are simply acting out of weakness and fear.
?️ 3. - If they hurt you, they did so out of selfishness - notice that this person in this situation was probably being selfish.
?️ 4. - They did it out of a desperate desire to get love because they lack love - so if this person hurt you, it's because actually deep down they were lacking in love and they wanted love from you!  But because they're ignorant, and they're selfish and weak they didn't know how to properly get the love that they wanted from you so they got it in some sort of way that ended up hurting you, but getting them the love that they wanted. Usually when someone does something evil it is because they simply want love but they don't know how else to get it other than through this selfish action, which then we call evil because it hurts somebody else.
?️ 5. - They did it out of a lack of consciousness - This person hurt you because this was not a high consciousness person at that time in that situation.  If the person had more consciousness, if the person was more developed, if the person was in a more conscious state, they would have behaved very differently in that situation.  Notice this.

• Ignorance, fear, selfishness, need and lack of love and lack of consciousness - all five of these point played out in your scenario with this person, and this completely explains why they hurt you.  
• Very clearly replay this situation in your mind and notice the real root reason why you were hurt because this person acted out of ignorance, weakness, fear, selfishness, unconsciousness and a need for love.
• If you still can't see this, keep replaying the situation and keep contemplating it deeper until you see that this is true, it is just a question of how deeply are you willing to go inside their minds to understand their motivations.  Can you see how in this situation person was not being evil, but actually this person was trying to be good and was trying to seek love in ignorant ways and that's all this situation boils down to - all these situations boil down to - seeking love, in some form or another.
• People seek these things not knowing why they are seeking them because they ultimately think that it will lead to satisfaction and look for this in unconscious ways, so apply this to your situation until you can see clearly how this is so. 
• Maybe they cheated or lied because of their life history.
• Really see why the person behaved the way they behaved, dig deep.
• Bring to mind all of the times in your life when you acted out of ignorance, weakness, fear, selfishness, unconsciousness and a need for love.
• Notice how you do this, too.  It can manifest in very different ways, maybe they cheated on you and you have not, but we are trying to go broad with this - get abstract - so look at where in your life you have acted out of these flaws.
• Where in your life have you needed love and acted in such a way where it hurt others, but you needed it so badly someone else got hurt.  Draw that commonality between this person and yourself. 
• What you need to see is that this is not personal.  These are universal dynamics of human behaviour in life.
• You weren't hurt because it was personal, you were hurt because someone was acting on instinct while looking for love.
• You don't even notice sometimes when you hurt somebody, it is not even obvious.  It might not be obvious to the other person either because of different world views and value sets and being occupied with looking for love, they can't see the collateral damage.  That in a nutshell is ignorance and lack of consciousness.
• Notice how in your life you try to be good most of the time, when you hurt others it is out of an ignorance of some kind.
• Now apply this to this person in this situation.
• When you do something bad in your life, you are still fundamentally good, the badness is a failure and oversight because of fear, ignorance and weakness.  
• Really, it is difficult to be good but most people wish to be.
• Notice that this person who hurt you is fundamentally good and are trying to be good, they can't help it because of the lens they live through, just like you.
• Find the common threads between all human behaviours.
• We are all struggling for love, we all fear, we are all ignorant and selfish, unconscious to various degrees.  There are many degrees of this.
• Why is that?
• Different circumstances.  Different times.  Different values.  Different worldviews.
• You know deep in your bones what these things are, what a struggle it is, because it is your entire life in a nutshell, these obstacles, these limitations you know intimately so you should be able to draw a deep common link between this person and yourself.  We all have the same struggles.
• Knowing all of that, now that you are more conscious of what is really going on are you willing to forgive this person for the very same things that you struggle with?  How can you hold a grudge for being selfish and fearful, needy and desperate when you yourself are those things and have been those things your entire life.
• Are you going to sit there with a straight face and judge them because they were struggling to get by?  To meet their needs?  You will have to judge everybody and yourself too.
• Can you be so strong that you drop the need to get even with this person, with humans who are ignorant, selfish and scared?  Can you let it go? 
• This is crucial because a selfish, hurt person wants to get even.  A generous strong person can extend mercy without needing to get even, which is the highest strength you can possess.  To be hurt and to not retaliate because you are secure in yourself.
• If you were hurt, a lot of times the person was hurt by somebody else, so it is a chain of hurt.  Somebody screwed you over because they were screwed over, ect.
• Are you willing to be strong enough to break this chain of hurt, or are you going to be a link in the chain and pass the hurt onto somebody else, if you carry the hurt, it will bubble up in unconscious ways that can inadvertently hurt others.
• Do you want to be the type of person who carries this hurt and transfers and carries this hurt like a virus, or do you want to be strong and cut the cord, the chain right here and now, and save somebody else from incurring your hurt.
• Is that who you want to be?
• Your options:
  • 1: Do you choose to keep judging and not to forgive them?  This is the weaker choice.     
  •  2: Choose to be selfless and good and cut the chain of hurt, in which case you choose consciousness, wisdom and love over fear.
• These are the consequences and you can now make a conscious choice to move forward.
• Are you strong enough to love even when others are too weak to love you?
• Or are you so weak you wait for others to love you before you extend your love to them?
• Are you strong enough to love without requiring your love to be returned back immediately? 
• Do you dare to love someone who hurt you?
• If you don't choose to love them, then you are being less that your higher self and less than you are capable of.
• You are doing so out of fear of what would happen if you loved somebody who hurt you or was ignorant, which is repeating the same cycle.  You have the option to break the cycle of ignorance.
• Before you can forgive the other person you must first forgive yourself for all the times you have been ignorant, selfish, fearful and needy for love in your life and have hurt others.
• Why forgive yourself for this?  Because that is life: life puts you in a bind of ignorance and survival, and life and survival is complex and counterintuitive and it takes trial and error - you have to start from zero, blank slate, and you learn.
• Others are doing the same thing.  This generates the full highs and lows of life.  Are you willing to forgive yourself for your flaws?
• When you frame it in a universal way, these are forces of nature, it is like forgiving gravity.  What is there to forgive?  It's just a force of nature, it is not personal.
• You and everyone else is in this existential bind of life.  A lot of people just don't know how to cope in healthy ways.  Don't overlook that.  Don't assume others know how to cope in a healthy way and that others have that knowledge and wisdom.  They had to cope without the information that you have today - we can search for any information that is available.
• Keep replaying this situation with this person in your mind until you realize that anything less than forgiveness is beneath you.  You are too strong and too good not to forgive this person.  Keep doing that until you have forgiven this person and then check to see if there is any judgement or resentment, and keep going through this until you realize that their actions are your actions.  And that to forgive them is to forgive yourself and visa versa.
• Do this a few times and you should be able to let go of all past hurt.  
• And that's it. 

Quote

• There is another type of process you can use if you have had an awakening and a collapse of self and other.
• This is the ultimate step that will heal you existentially.  
• The boundary between self and other is not real and is permeable. 
• You can also notice that the other you resent and are hurt by, that the person is literally you.
• At the existential level, replay the situation in your mind again and literally notice that they are you, that you hurt yourself and that you have been resenting yourself and that you were the one who was hurt.  You were the hurter and the one who was hurt.
• When you do that you start to understand that this  hurt happened at all, is that both parts of consciousness was asleep and fragmented.
• You reunite the two and merge the other and notice that all of that is You.  God. 
• Reality, self and God are inevitable, there is no other way it could be because reality is absolute.  It was also perfect because every detail was necessary for you to have your awakening and to go on and have deeper awakenings and that is the perfection of it and so you can recontextualize these experiences as part of being on the path, so that you can overcome and realize a deeper form of yourself as Love.
• Forgiveness is your love.  You being love is forgiveness.  You realize that everything is love.  Not some emotion or expression, it is the expression of the entire universe so that no matter what happens it is love.
• Full circle:  There is nothing to forgive because everything that happened to you was love. And at this point you accept yourself completely as what you truly are, which is love.
• And now everything makes sense and you are completely whole and healed and nobody can hurt you, and that in retrospect nothing hurt you because it was needed to understand a deeper form of love.
• When you do this on this level, this is when you have a complete healing.  If you just do it at the psychological level, you won't realize everything is love and this is the only way to heal completely.
• You can't do this just once, you will have to do it multiple times in order to heal.
• Practice this on multiple people, significant people.  Pick a person and run through the cycle.
• This can take you days, months to do depending on what you had.
• You need to do it for each event as well, not just each person.
• The upside to having a traumatic childhood is that if you're able to overcome all that and heal it all, you will be so powerful.  So much more powerful than a person who had it easy.  If you work through everything on your plate you can become really strong.
• You  have more people to forgive than you might think, so write all of them down, major and minor.  Scan through childhood and teenage years and outside the family as well.
• Make this investment in the future of your life by sitting down now and doing this forgiveness work - you won't have to do it forever - a month at most should be enough to heal these wounds.
• It will free you up with family, intimate relationships and will make you a more loving and easygoing person.
• As trauma accumulates it can make you a bitter, petty, depressed, cynical type of person because you have been so hurt by life that now you lash back out at life and you want to hurt others in life and that cycle powers itself.
• Power of understanding: notice and draw a connection on how proper understanding of a situation removes all baggage of a situation that is there.
• This process is based on understanding and this is what you need to heal and to understand it fully at the existential level, it will completely heal you.
• If you feel these bad feelings it is due to your own ignorance.
• God is mercy because God has infinite self understanding.
• The more omniscient you become, the more mercy you will have, until you become selfless, fearless, merciful, there is nothing left to forgive, you accept yourself as what you are which is the Truth, which is everything and then you are incapable of judging because you are everything.
• Forgiveness is self love, unity, Truth and consciousness and that is God's mercy.  You are so conscious that you have nothing left to hate, nitpick or reject because you have accepted yourself as what you are, and what you are is inevitable, so there is no choice but to accept yourself.  To reject the inevitable is insanity
• Warning, esp. for women in relationships: Be careful not to use this technique to tolerate people who are actively abusing you right now, so if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, do not use this recording to forgive this jerk and keep suffering his abuse.  That is a misuse of forgiveness.  In your situation, you have to leave this abusive relationship.
• Leave and then practice forgiveness all you want.  
• Don't use forgiveness to maintain and objectively dangerous situation.
• Guys can suffer from this as well.
• In this situation, cut the cord before it gets out of hand because it is not going to work out in any way, no salvaging with love.
• Leaving a toxic relationship is love.  There is nothing about Love that says you have to tolerate a relationship in which you are being enslaved by somebody else.  Me being loving doesn't mean I have to be a slave; visa versa.
• This exercise done in the middle of psychedelics can be extremely powerful because your mind is more open.
• Some of them are starting to be approved for treating trauma because they help people overcome trauma through the existential and psychological levels.
• Enlightenment/awakening is healing.  All the pieces are put back together again and you awake into love and that God is love and that you are God.  Love is emptiness, nothingness.
• Reality is infinite goodness and love.

 

Edited September 12, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Quote

Notes:

• Healing from a negative mother complex: what do we mean? - Mother complex is the mother of all complexes.

• We are talking about a network of associations and memories and feelings that are around an archetypal core, the archetype of the mother and every archetype has a positive pole and a negative pole i.e. Virgin Mary or witch.

• Mother Complex: like a giant funnel, images and symbolic stuff around mother and then the funnel narrows and narrows until we come down to any given person's personal mother, who was unique, but she is the conduit for this much larger archetypal energy and if a person has had a dark relationship with mom that energy goes back up the funnel and it can be huge and overwhelming because it is connected to the powerful mother archetype.

• What does a negative mother complex look like: a red flag is when somebody comes in when taking a basic history of the psychological terrain, intense memories will surface - the first thing on the plate starts with talking about mom, end then we being to get the sense there is more going on.  Memories of neglect, attack, or they don't connect for some reason; like two ghosts together, sometimes feeling engulfed by the mother's needs or agenda

• The quality of our mother complex is significantly influenced by the relationship with our biological mother.

• Our memories create the tone and then they pull forward archetypal themes.

• You can have three kids in a household with a neutral, positive or negative mother complex - each gather and cluster certain kinds of memories.

• It is a centerplay of temperament and it is hard to work with a negative mother complex because the relational axis and the intrapsychic axis get tangled up within one another.

• With a negative mother complex, the psyche throws up monsters in front of you all the time.

• We have all been wounded by both of our parents, always, most of us want to heal ourselves and heal others along the way.

• There isn't some ideal that some mothers fall short.  Life is traumatic, and parents can mediate the trauma or make it worse and that's about all parents can do.  There isn't some ideal we are seeking.  Just because they are flawed does not mean that them being your parents was in error.

• We are trying to lift a burden of blame from the mother, but at the same time let's talk about this symptomatically because we are dealing with it all the time.

• The disappear mother: post-partum depression; mother fades away, or the mother has a physical symptom and takes to her bed and we have a child, a toddler who is trying to move towards the mother who is bringing their needs and wants to the mother and the door is shut on the child and they are left to their own devices to self soothe.

• The child will often develop an inner world to cope; schizoid compensation, the child agonizes over not being able to be soothed or attended to, but they learn that they can encapsulate themselves in an inner world, play and talk by themselves and resist the mother - these worlds carry into adulthood.

• The difficulty with that is adult relationships can be mysterious, sometimes they fail to find relationships, sometimes the self-soothing cycle can show up as compulsive masturbation, problems with food, and a barrier of anxiety of looking to another person to meet one's needs.
• The attachment patterns that we can see in children - sometimes it's a very disorganized one, there is the schizoid one, there are all kinds of things that children can absorb in a difficult maternal relationship that then show up later in other relationships as problematic, and that's what we look for is sort of a not just your direct memories of what was mom like, where did that go inside you?  Whoever the you is?
• What might be the defenses or the compensatory mechanisms that this person has employed around relationships specifically, and how you self soothe.  What are your relationships like?
• Specifically with the disappearing mother, one of the things seen is a kind of fault line in the psyche, that there's just a place where it feels like we just can't trust that our needs will be met.  And perhaps that makes us feel like we have to work very hard in relationships to keep the other person there for us, and so we are constantly spending so much energy trying to accommodate the other person and make sure that he or she is happy so that person will stay with us.
• Sometimes we just don't get into a relationship at all, we keep people at arm's length, sometimes we use food or substances to soothe our anxiety around relationships, the ways that we cope and defend and compensate are myriad.
• Process of anxiety, which is different from dissociation or a schizoid retreat; often the schizoid isn't having a lot of intense feelings, they kind of live in a cotton world that's very gauzy around them.
• There is at least enough promise of assistance by the mother, perhaps the mother is able to attend to a younger child, a younger sibling, and then the older children are watching that, so they know the mother is capable of providing, but they are feeling neglected or are not being attended to, so ravenous clamoring; reaching, and trying to tug providing behaviour out of the mother, as adults that can show up as a seeking mother in all kinds of circumstances.
• A lot of people in the military; the institution is so overwhelming providing, people become college professors to be in the alma mater, in Europe professors live permanently on the compasses.  
• Sometimes people will project this onto organizations and or they get a new job, for instance and there is a boss and the way that they are milking the teat for all kinds of comfort and assistance, trying to draw the mother out of circumstances in order to manage their anxiety and to get unmet needs met.
• Constantly seeking what was never available to them or was available to them only inadequately.
• A darker constellation: the mother is very young, undeveloped and a new baby arrives and the mother is naïve, she has no idea how much the baby will need, how the crying is so relentless, how the mother is required to provide something constantly 24 hours a day for an infant and the mother begins to feel like the child is devouring her and she begins to attack the child verbally, perhaps physically or is in a constant state of hostility because the needs of the child feel like they are injuring her, so that creates a very complicated constellation in the psyche of an adult with the attacking mother, people are caught in this middle ground of having needs because that primal part of the body is still talking all the time; that mammalian intelligence, and the perception oft he world is that the world is going to be dangerous.  It's unsafe to have needs.
• One of the things that can happen is that the inner world becomes an unsafe place.  There is a way that we relate to the unconscious in much the same way, that the mother complex can determine to how we relate to our own unconscious if the way we were mothered felt unsafe the inner world might feel unsafe, and full of self attack, and might be very hard to find anything soothing in the internal world.
• The unconscious can literally mobilize against someone, through self sabotaging behaviours like over eating, or it could be with ruthless savaging self talk, not taking care of yourself, "I'm fine, I don't need a lunch break, I can work late, too." Distancing from one's own needs, physical or psychological, because you don't expect that they will get met.
• Even though they are populated with body memories, thoughts, images, there is enough life force to get a job - something rises up - you will have some kind of a life no matter what odds were placed against you.
• Sometimes people will never bring in a dream to be analyzed.  That the evidence of an autonomous unconscious life is so unappealing, so dangerous in a subtle way that they communicated, that dreams are not going to be brought in or not brought in for months or years.
• Another thing that can happen is that people don't have early memories of a kind of glossing over of, "I don't really remember much until 5th or 6th grade."
• Early memories are nodal points of what one's relationships were like and how they shape your relationship with yourself and so when somebody doesn't have a lot of memories that can be a queue that the relationships with one's inner world of memory, dreams, unconscious has had to be locked up somewhere; an impoverishment.
• It doesn't always appear this way, but sometimes it does.
• Mothers who were ruthlessly critical all the time: a version of the attacking mother: that can affect one's relationship with the inner world and the unconscious, but also with your own body.  Many times, especially if the mother is critical of the person's physical appearance, which happens, that really gets carried forward into terrible self hatred of one's body, or one's appearance.
• One client felt like she was being ground up in a garbage disposal all the time, inner experience and also what it was like being mothered by her mother.

I'm your light
Love is not for real

If it doesn't hurt
Feel your love
I'm your light
Tokyo by night

I'm your light
Love is not for real

Quote

Cities.  Siddhis.  The city represents subjective reaching for objective.  A city/siddhi is highly objective.  A city/siddhi can eat you alive if you misuse it.

• What it takes to begin a healing process: to be able to feel sadness at the awfulness and to be able to shed tears over what this person and many others really did not have, vs. all these ways that we defend and compensate, we may be able to talk about it, but to let those feelings in of how hurt and rejected that that was.
• One of the things that happens is when I reflect back, "that sounds awful", people will minimize or covering up the abuse vs. being able to feel those feelings that had to be locked up and shut away and reclaim the hurt and the grief, and a lot of other feelings that for the sake of survival could not be felt at the time.
• Core restorative part of analysis is that these painful feelings are thrumming in the unconscious, and they're creating a gravitational field that tugs and pulls on the web of our inner life, when we feel we have enough strength or enough of an alliance with the analyst, we can tolerate going down and risking feeling these things, and trusting that we can metabolize those feelings now in a way that we could not have as a child, imminent to wisdom to tuck them all away, you have to get to adulthood and have to find someway to make it.
• Why feel those feelings: because they are in the background exerting a gravitational pull and they still take energy that is not available for as full a life as we would wish for anyone to be able to have.
• Emotional trauma.  It can be traumatic, this is the pull, sometimes there are explicit traumatic memories and sometimes it takes a while in the analysis to realize that it's the vacancy of feelings and memories; for instance a disappearing mother can be tricky to catch because it's the absence of things that should be in the psyche vs. the over potentiated distressing images that are hot in the psyche and both of those things just influences so many things.
• In either event, either case, we're talking about reclaiming the feeling functions, especially those feelings that most of us don't want to feel, that we are needy, or that we were hurt or that we felt rejected.  We were little and needed help.  These are harder feelings to allow to come to the surface and be fully felt than our bravery or our toughness or how hard we can work, or "I don't need anybody".
• In one of the places that will come out frequently with parental complexes is in the transference.
• Analysts sitting in the room, they say something, a turn of phrase, an idea that comes to mind, and then all of a sudden the client will activate in a very intense way, and then that's the first glimpse of the complex as it's being projected onto the analyst and it can be a bit of a gasping moment for both parties.
• Another configuration of the swallowing mother: as a child a mother who is narcissistic or who has a lot of needs, very extroverted, kind of engulfing the child, making all the decisions, constantly touching them, pulling them into the relationship with the mother rather than other kinds of things, something will rise up in the child later in life to want to attack all of that overwhelming and engulfing behaviour.
• Sometimes this will show up in the consulting room as an interpretation made causes the client to become ferocious about you daring to intrude on their psychological sovereignty. 
• They don't know it's a complex, they really think you have become an engulfing creature of some kind and that is a really delicate dance.
• Watch for transference in the negative mother complex.
• We can will all good intentions step into territory where we provoke that projection and then we're in some really difficult territory and we have to see if we can find our way back and sometimes we cannot figure out how to break the spell.  It feels like you have harpooned a moving whale while in a dingy.  
• When you can work through that, that's part of the healing.  Hugely.
• How do you heal it?  One of the key ways is actually through relationship.
• Borderline personality disorder.  Times people are upset or angry with an analyst, that those feelings are so important to come out and that the client not feel that he or she has to take care of the analyst by being nice and polite.  Analysts invite to tell them if something come sup in a session that did not fit or sit right with them or come back the next week and let them know what bothered them and that we have to find room and make room for somebody's anger and for what comes up for them from their past in the relationship with a primary caretaker, the mother, and be able to accept and deal with and work through those feelings that this is going to be a very sturdy relationship that can hold that stuff.
• Not talk about outrageous and over the top behaviour, but the intensity of feelings that people can have.  We have all had them,.
• An analytic relationship can be a major part of healing from a negative mother complex and other relationships can play that role, too.  We can find a friend, often friends because then there is more breathing room in the relationship.
• Where analysts have had people tell them they had a very negative experience of their mother and then later in life they find a divine feminine friend, full of grace person who's able to bestow a good will, and an invitation to this particular woman, which brought her to an incredible softening and opening, blossoming of her heart.
• One of the things that is true and very mysterious about complexes is the way that they manifest out in the world.  If we have had a very critical mother, we may meet her again and again, we might have a friend who's very critical, we might then have a boss who's very critical, we might wind up having a mother in law who is critical, and we keep on finding our mother again and again and again, and we may not be aware of the things that we are doing that provoke a certain reaction from others around us that put us back in that place of that mother complex, so it's like somehow the complex is really running the show behind the scenes and there is this uncanny way where people with that same constellation find their way into our orbit in a way that is unexplainable.  
• The complex becomes a little bit like fate, but as we know from faerie tales, you can change your fate.
• Working through a negative mother complex, depending on the severity of it and some other factors, it generally takes a long time.
• It is not a quick fix. 
• Because it is so much in the ground of the psyche because your primary caregiver for the first weeks of life and was involved in the originating neuroplasticity, all the first images, all the first sounds and scents and sensations in the body.  That's laying the ground, so to really get in and be able to observe that can be miraculous, and the forces needed to shift that are miraculous.
• It takes a lot of practice.  If you keep stepping into a minefield every time you try to have a friendship because you always wind up provoking, either acting like your mother or finding people who treat you the way your mother did - it takes practice, many efforts of finding a friend before the pattern begins to lose it's grip and you start finding your way to other patterns of relating.  
• You can create new patterns, but it takes a long time.
• Circumambulating something is useful, it is not a linear process, it is being in it and walking around it, and circumscribing it in a way that contains it better, and then you can see it.
• Quote from Jung about: it takes a long time, and what he says is: the most intense conflicts evolve or come, leave behind a sense of security and calm which is not easily disturbed or else a brokenness that can hardly be healed.
• Given a choice between those two things and a lot of examples in faerie tales - you can be more.
• The hope is that with dreams and relationships of all kinds and introspection and therapy, we grow bigger - think of a sapling that has a big gash in it because somebody whacked it with an axe, and that is an awful thing for the sapling, but if that tree can become a full grown tree, that gash is not that big of a deal because the tree grew bigger than the wound.
• Another element that can be part of the healing process learned from faerie tales and clinical experiences: In the psyche of a woman, the animus plays a big role in healing this wound.
• Examples: Eleanor Oliphant - falls in love from afar with a singer in a band, she thinks he's perfection and she begins to mobilize some interests and get more interested in the outside world because of this and this is a great example of the function of the animus.  He draws her out into life.
• Constellating power of the animus to focus our libido; life energy toward a goal and perhaps help us to seek relationship that would allow us to begin to engage these wounds. 
• The animus allows the reconciliation or the confrontation with a complex that would allow for healing.
• It can feel like sliding down a glass mountain when working on a negative mother complex.
• Anima, animus demystified: a part of us that isn't part of our personal history and we see it over and over again in faerie tales of that the prince arrives out of the blue and something magic happens - this is a hopeful note that there is energy in the psyche, in the unconscious which Jung said over and over again is autonomous, it has it's own trajectory, it has its own life - that we know that's there and the girl from the book is drawn back to life - and to include some space in this part of the psyche for this healing process.
• The message is encouraging.  You can do it.
• Negative mother complex shows up differently in the son than the daughter.  If the negative mother is aggressive one of the ways that a daughter can live that environment is by absorbing that kind of power of the feminine and she can join the mother in this darker aspect of the feminine and the two of them can still stay full of agency and still be dynamic where often the son in the environment simply becomes an object and he cannot embody or identify with this constellation of the feminine.
• He is reduced to a swan, regresses into an animal consciousness, but the daughter is still able to stay active in that role because she can still absorb some of the dynamism of the negative mother because she can identify with her through the primordial feminine archetype, that is a dimension of how different it is.
• Another dimension is that in the psyche there is the negative mother complex which seems atmospheric in the psyche and then the ego feels like the child in relationship to it, but that polarity can often change and the person with the negative mother complex can be possessed by the negative mother and then treat other people like the child object.
• Somebody who feels very criticized might walk away feeling that there is a voice constantly picking at them but that polarity can easily switch around and that person can find themselves being blisteringly critical of other people because they know what that behaviour is like and they can access it.
• When someone has had a particularly negative mother they often feel like whatever I do, I have to avoid becoming like her and so they reject everything about that person and they might still unconsciously act it out, but consciously they don't want to be anything like her and that can be a problem because even the most negative mother has some positive qualities, but it's like the person can't let him or herself anywhere near those qualities, so for example with women it shows up if the mom has been critical and aggressive it may be difficult for the daughter of that woman to claim any kind of aggressive capacity because even being a little bit sharp feels like oh my god, I am turning into my mother and this is a way to keep it in the unconscious thought it's atmosphere is really in the psyche, when the realization is placed in the center of the space, the temple, the temenos, and then it can be walked around, but before that can happen is it haps to be named.
• And not only to name it but to experience themselves being besieged by the negative mother and then it is another transition which can be very painful for people is to catch that moment when we can talk about them acting out those same qualities and that can be just incredibly painful for people to understand how they are co-participating in this thing that they dislike strongly.
• It is important that it be out there instead of in here, it has been so wounding, hurtful.  When we can recognize it and relate to it and relate to the parts of our complex that have become internalized in ourselves, then you have something you can work with - as long as you're disconnected from it, as long as it is out there and none of it is in here, you are too far away from it, and so it is a big process of really coming to realize what does my mother complex look like, along with a host of other things, because all I can do is work with myself.
• I can't change what is out there.  You cannot change what happened, we cannot change the past.
• Humour, laughter is a way of melting the power of these qualities.
• Something unexpected comes up from the unconscious, whether it is humour or just some new surprising energy that kind of lands.
• Stopped around 50 mins in - finish up later down below.

Quote

Sri Aurobindo - The Psychic Being - about finding the soul

The psychic being is the soul developing in the evolution.
The true soul of man is … in the true invisible heart hidden in some luminous cave of the nature: there under some infiltration of the divine Light is our soul, a silent inmost being of which few are even aware; for if all have a soul, few are conscious of their true soul or feel its direct impulse. There dwells the little spark of the Divine which supports this obscure mass of our nature and around it grows the psychic being, the formed soul or the real Man within us. It is as this psychic being in him grows and the movements of the heart reflect its divinations and impulsions that man becomes more and more aware of his soul, ceases to be a superior animal, and, awakening to glimpses of the godhead within him, admits more and more its intimations of a deeper life and consciousness and an impulse towards things divine. It is one of the decisive moments of the integral Yoga when this psychic being liberated, brought out from the veil to the front, can pour the full flood of its divinations, seeings and impulsions on the mind, life and body of man and begin to prepare the upbuilding of divinity in the earthly nature.

It is the very nature of the soul or the psychic being to turn towards the Divine Truth as the sunflower to the sun; it accepts and clings to all that is divine or progressing towards divinity and draws back from all that is a perversion or a denial of it, from all that is false and undivine. Yet the soul is at first but a spark and then a little flame of godhead burning in the midst of a great darkness …. It is only when the life turns towards the Divine that the soul can truly come forward and impose its power on the outer members; for, itself a spark of the Divine, to grow in flame towards the Divine is its true life and its very reason of existence.

The first [step of self-realization] is the discovery of the soul, not the outer soul of thought and emotion and desire, but the secret psychic entity, the divine element within us. When that becomes dominant over the nature, when we are consciously the soul and when mind, life and body take their true place as its instruments, we are aware of a guide within that knows the truth, the good, the true delight and beauty of existence, controls heart and intellect by its luminous law and leads our life and being towards spiritual completeness. Even within the obscure workings of the Ignorance we have then a witness who discerns, a living light that illumines, a will that refuses to be misled and separates the mind’s truth from its error, the heart’s intimate response from its vibrations to a wrong call and wrong demand upon it, the life’s true ardour and plenitude of movement from vital passion and the turbid falsehoods of our vital nature and its dark self-seekings. This is the first step of self-realization, to enthrone the soul, the divine psychic individual in the place of the ego.

The Woman

I am dark, but still lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem,
    like the tents of Kedar,
    like the curtains of Solomon.
Do not gaze at me, because I am dark,
    because the sun has looked upon me.
My mother’s sons were angry with me;
    they made me the keeper of the vineyards,
    but my own vineyard I have not kept.

Quote

• Overcoming shyness
• Disorganized attachment
• Subjective experiences in psychotic disorders: diagnostic value and clinical correlates
• Men, Women at Risk for Psychosis Differ in Subjective Experience - I relate more to the male brain's side of things, with some of the woman's side's subjective experiences as well.

Quote

I don't take the notion "someone is enlightened" seriously.

This is a silly way to reduce infinite consciousness.

People who say such things have no clue how diverse and deep consciousness goes.

-Leo 

Quote

• Lo Moon - Playground Love (Air cover)
• Everything is a vibration of myself... Rupert Spira
• Does consciousness evolve? - Rupert Spira
• Technical hitch - let's go faster
• PERPETUAL LOOP - Never been the same sinse
• We don't die Sunday gathering - Peace and kindness
• Neon genesis evangelion - alternate reality

Algorithm: Waves from a low moon, a playground love in the air, everything is a vibration of yourself, your consciousness is evolving noticeably, let's go faster with it, reality is a perpetual loop, you will never be the same, we don't die, we gather in prayer, peace, kindness, we are growing, and you create your alternate reality.

My sleeping karma.  No meaning.  Just a deep, profound emptiness.

 

Edited September 14, 2021 by Loba
Bottled time would be carbonated.

[Loba]

Quote

City, siddhi.  Objectivity.  

Negative Mother Complex Notes - 50 mins in:

• New things can happen that can change the dynamics of the negative mother complex, if you are ready for a different experience, healing can come spontaneously in a variety of ways.

And that's the end.  I see the forest, not just the trees.  That was a very clear, and healing podcast.

Quote

Notes:

• Reality is not a physical system, it is consciousness.  Everything that you see, or experience is consciousness, different levels, gradations and layers of consciousness.
• Consciousness is a very complex thing, and the way that you understand consciousness is by experiencing it and by being conscious of it.
• Bodies are made of consciousness, this video is made of consciousness, if you're listening to this as an audio, the audio waves that you are hearing, ears are made of consciousness, ect.
• Everything is made out of consciousness. 
• Why is this so important?
• If reality is made of atoms, that makes it seems as though reality is separate and distant from you. 
• The object and the subject, and the subject is not separate from the object.  There is no boundary between the room and yourself.
• This opens up a totally radical, new possibility.  Because if reality was separate from you, external to you, then there's always a boundary or a veil through which you can never pierce to get to the bottom of reality.
• If you understand it you will live well, if you don't, you will live poorly.  To live the best life you will want to understand reality and to do that you will need to understand it is all consciousness/imagination and once you grasp this possibility, that the object and subject are interconnected, that means that you now have direct access to reality itself.
• Reality is not hidden from you, you are able to access it because it is all consciousness, just different levels of consciousness and so the number one key to living a good life is to be more conscious, and to raise your level of consciousness.
• And there are many levels and different degrees and states of consciousness.
• Right now you happen to be in one state, when you are sleeping you are in another state, dreaming another state, sexually aroused another state, ect.
• Reality is infinite states of consciousness.  That's all that it is, but it's very important what kind of states you are in.
• You can be in some bad states or good states, very expansive states.  The more conscious you become, the more understanding you have of how everything truly is.
• The less conscious you are, the more you are in a daze, the more you are a zombie, the more you are sleep walking through life, the more you lie to yourself, the more you manipulate, the more selfish, fearful, petty, ect.

Quote

Notes:

• Can we trust our feelings?  Often you hear people say "trust your feelings", it isn't necessarily true.
• Acknowledge feelings: yes.  Be there as the observing presence for your feelings.  Be aware of your feelings, accept that they are there - trust, which means to take them to be the truth, or the truth for you, or using them as a guide to correct or skillful action that maybe doubtful because it depends on where these feelings arise in you. 
• An anecdote to illustrate: When he lived in England for three years he lived in a cottage and once a month he would travel to London or other cities in his car - he had to do a workshop and usually a weekend workshop called things like Transcending Time or Be Here Now - since his income was not enough he had to rent out a room upstairs in his cottage - he rented out the room to a young woman and she came down and said she cannot stay here and he asked her what was wrong and she got a feeling, and she always listened to her feelings.  She was very nervous and he told her this was fine, and she found that disconcerting because she expected a more conventional response - something aggravated - but he gave her her money back as well - she decided to spend one or two more nights there.  After the second night she came down and said that she would like to stay.  She had a different feeling about it now.  And he says that this is fine, and again she was a little disconcerted because a conventional response would have been "I just put another ad in the paper and now you're telling me this?" 
• This is how to make the conventional responses are: how to make life complicated for yourself and others, but it is normal and how the ego responds and so whenever somebody does not respond in that way, life becomes simple.  But when life becomes simple, people who expect conventional responses become confused.
• And so she decided to stay and a few weeks later when he got to know her better she explained that the first night she was in her bedroom and she said, "I found you so weird that I though you light creep in the middle of the night and murder me."  Then she later said living in the same house with you is like living in a float tank.

• She believed her feelings were a correct guide for action, but they were not because they originated in fear and in a misinterpretation of reality, which is so easy to do for the mind to misinterpret another person, to misinterpret a situation.  You misinterpret because you see it through the conditioning of your mind.
• A lot of the time people misinterpret reality because they look at reality through the veil of their conditioning, and that contributes to a huge amount of conflict in life, in relationships and so on.
• And not only they misinterpret they add unnecessary baggage to situations through their reactivity which is an ego device in order to strengthen the egos always deficient sense of identity, so coming back again to the story... what had happened,
• If he had reacted in the normal way, becoming angry and accusing her when she said after one night she couldn't stay and that would have strengthened the ego.  It would have come from ego and strengthened the sense of self, and same when she decided to stay.
• The ego dwells. And to make someone wrong, the ego loves that.  When you make someone wrong, the ego loves that.
• You can either accept it, or you cannot.
• "Is that so."  It will finally resolve itself.  Everything does.  Do not engage in story making that strengthens the ego. 90 percent of conflict eliminated from your life!

Quote

Notes:

• The point is to help you to adopt a life philosophy and attitude of patience, of investing in yourself and building up yourself and your life and those aspects of your life that are most important to you, slowly, patiently over years and decades, and this is how you will make yourself successful.
• This is how to be happy in life.
• And only in this way, and to resist the temptation for shortcuts and the resist the temptation to try to outsource this to somebody else.
• This is your primary responsibility, this is why you are alive is to do this, this is the heart of self actualization and personal development.
• Some examples: something that can only be developed over a long period of time working on it very consistently and patiently.  Education.  If you care about understanding the world, if you care about knowledge, if you want to be intelligent and smart, this is not something you can go and purchase off a store shelf, there is no amount of money that will make you well educated.
• Nor can you get educated in a weekend, or even in a single year.  There is no thing that you can do this weekend that will make you well educated.  To become well educated, if you're serious about it, what that means is that you're going to be investing in your education, time and energy mostly, every single day for a period of decades.
• There is no single book you can read that will make you well educated, no single class you can go to.  There is no university program you can go to that will make you well educated, it is not sufficient.
• To be well educated is such a big thing, but it's also a rather sort of nebulous and abstract thing.  What does it mean to be well educated?  It is hard to define what it means.  It means more than having a degree or going to a class, a solid education requires thousands of hours of investment.
• How do you become really well educated?  You read every single day.  You do it for decades.  You listen to podcasts or videos, lectures, contemplate, take notes, read summore, go to classes, go to school or university, you continue after that, for decades, ect.  A commitment to lifelong learning and you keep doing that for a long time and at some point you become very well educated.
• But it's going to take thousands of hours.  And nobody is going to do it for you, you can't outsource it to anybody, and nobody is going to push you to become very well educated.  No one is going to hold your hand on this process. That is something only you can do on your own if you develop that vision and work towards it every single day, and if you don't then you won't become well educated.
• And then, you will see other people in the world who are well educated, granted this is rare, but they exist, you will see those people and you will look at their results in life and you will envy their results, you will want their results.
• The magic secret is two or three decades of constant daily, contemplation reading, studying, note taking, doing it over and over again.
• Being well educated is so valuable, it is worth so much, because your whole life changes for the better.  So the answer is to invest 20-30 years becoming well educated.
• The earlier you invest, the great your chance of compounding returns on your investment.
• The whole key with this investing strategy is that you spend ten, twenty, thirty years building up something, you build it up, become really well educated, then after a certain number of decades you can coast on that success for the rest of your life, it pays dividends forever.  Get it done as quickly as possible.

Music notes!  
Synesthesia.  How sounds look visually.  If there is a loud noise at night, just before I am falling asleep - I will see something like this flash before my eyes as the sound is being made and it looks exactly like how one would intuitively imagine it.  Like echolocation.  This is the only time that it happens, and I think it does because of chemicals produced before falling asleep.

My education will span across lifetimes.  This is the first of nine lives, 8 more to go.  I believe with faith, you get a choice.  I have a very strong faith in this.  There is so much to learn when it comes to understanding consciousness.  If it's just this life, that's not cool.  That's not enough time.
I just want to know, "Why am I here?  What happens after death?  Shouldn't I know about what happens just as much as anyone else?  Don't we all have the same instinct?  And can we have a form of life that doesn't require a body?  I want to enjoy a bowl of cereal, but it would also be nice not to be restricted by form.  I want to exist.  If this universe is law of attraction based, so if preferences are gateways into understanding, then that's a reach towards truth and survival has a purpose."

It's all imaginary.  But what is it?  What can it do?  Why?  How?  Where?  Who?  What?  When?
Why was I chosen to witness a miracle, and to see it as such?  When so many people alive never see one?  I don't deserve it more than anyone else, so what exactly did I do?  How do I recreate it?

I think those are fair questions.  Now that they are out there, they will be answered at some point.
Thus the power of introspection.
Beauty must be a form of Truth because God always shows up in nature.

How is all of this being created?  "Tempting time."  Kali worship negates codependency, but I need to get into a deep practice with Kali to start off with. Bhakti yoga heals the heart.

Notes:

• When you introspect, you have to place everything else as being tertiary compared to your getting to the truth of the matter, so when you're questioning yourself, "Am I being honest, am I lying to myself, am I rationalizing, am I scapegoated, ect" If you are trying to ascertain that you have to ground yourself in a genuine intention for the truth, meaning you have to want the truth at all costs.
• Go into the yourself and feel it, you can feel when you are aligned with the truth, an intention to reach an accurate perception of something versus when you're just doing something else.
• The value to adopt is truthful accurate clear introspection.  That can be a value to honour for the rest of your life, genuine introspection.
• Not just a validation of your preexisting beliefs and opinions, that is not genuine introspection.
• Genuine introspection means that when you  introspect, if this thing that you're introspecting violates all of your beliefs, desires, ideas, cravings, needs, personal wants, you're going to go with the answer rather than all of your other crap.
• That's what you use to cut through self deception, because ultimately the engine of self deception is your own cravings and needs and wants and biases and all that, if you care about those more than you care about truthful, accurate, clear introspection, you will never get the truth.
• Because you're always sidetracked by some personal thing you have, some personal craving, ect, ect, grievance, ect, let go of all that.
• Introspection comes at a cost, there is a reason why most people don't introspect.  The reason is because when you do introspect, the emotional labour that comes with discovering all the self deceptions and lies and ugliness within yourself, it is too much to bear for most people.
• The about of lying and dishonesty and self deception in your worldview is so outrageously high that it would make you physically vomit if you ever became conscious of all of it at once, it might knock you to the floor, so usually you have to pick away at it for years, bit by bit by bit, because it's too much to handle.
• So even when you are picking away, you will be bombarded with ugly truths about yourself and the world that you will want to deny, there will be labour, struggle, confusion at first, it is going to be difficult.
• You are learning to surf and are trying to balance yourself, you take some nasty spills, some wipeouts.
• Another reason why introspection isn't done and the cost of it is that the more you introspect the more responsibility you will take for your life, your emotions, relationships, communication, actions and behaviours, responsibility to others, society and mankind, to life, to the universe and to God. 
• It is too much responsibility for most people to handle, and it makes your life harder.
• Introspection makes your life harder, it is a lot harder to live life when you are conscious of the consequences of your selfish thoughts, beliefs, behaviours, biases, rationalizations, emotional outbursts and reactions - once you see how big of a devil you are you are sort of now obligated to be a better person and it is not easy to be a good person.
• It is not easy to surrender the devil that you have been most of your life.  That's hard, that makes your life hard.
• When you are dumb and ignorant, things seem simple and easy  because you have no idea of the true consequences of your beliefs, actions and behaviours.  Everything will become harder.  Being good is hard.  Being bad is easy.  Being bad is the path of least resistance.  Being godlike, this takes serious work, a lifetime of work,.
• So why do it?  Life is counterintuitive, sometimes the easy life is actually the hard life and the hard life is actually the easy life.
• Another important point to remember: it will take you years to develop this.  It will take you your entire life. 
• This is a subtle skill that no one is going to push you to develop and in fact they will try to distract you and get you to do everything but introspect.  Society does not teach or value introspection.
• People might dislike this skill because they do not want to see the truth.

 

 

Edited September 16, 2021 by Loba