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[Loba]

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• God's laughing all the time.
• When we are liberated we realize that we are hearing our own laughter, so fear and sadness - the ego is a joke - the punchline - that we were afraid of nothing because we are nothing.
• At that level of the dream we are everything and the source of everything and we do not die and we were never born and we are masters of this whole dream.

• We forgotten and had come into some victim consciousness that is false.
• When you are free from that, there is no greater joy.
• The cosmos is a beautiful work of art; history, present now, to see all the time in the eternal now.
• The world is a flower in God's garden and we are the gardener of that beautiful flower and we are going to give birth to a new flower on the tree of life, a new world.

• With even more beauty than you could have ever imagined, it will fill you with great joy, peace and creative energy like never before.
• Laughter, humour and seeing the joke in everything is an essential benefit coming from elevated consciousness.

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Notes:

• The skill in which your art is handled is the principle factor.
• Something happens when art takes on a religious ritual.  It comes "alive" and can bring a deity into contact with humanity.
• It is hard to abstract and visualize something that has no form or to visualize an energy that is unembodied.  From early times, it was necessary to present nearly all important truths of life symbolically.  Books, sculptures, paintings, carvings of all kinds, retablos and icons that have sacred value. 
• Art from early times represented something that came from nature - a power - pure life in it's essence is invisible - we know what it does but do not know what it is, so when we begin to study life we have to do it by examining living things.  
• We are not able to understand the substance of energy, but we can estimate it's consequences, that all living things are supported by one basic life principle and has many appearances, it has as many forms and appearances as forms and appearances exist in nature.
• It is not only represented by picture, it is represented by sound or colour, by mathematical formulas and astronomical observations and a complex group of chemicals and electronic symbols.
• This principle, separated from almost all living things is almost impossible to define. The only way we can define it is to reveal it through it's own works.  
• Ancient man knew all creation was a revelation of one principle: therefore in order to make a diagram or picture of it, something has to be found that can be equated with everything that exists.  This symbol has to be inclusive enough to  reveal the diversity of the divine power and at the same time sufficiently integrated to realize that the ultimate power is One.
• All religions and philosophies have behind the visible the concept of an invisible government, one that controls all things - because by it's nature it has everything needed for absolute leadership.
• All of this philosophy as created what could be termed as religious art.
• The sacred imagery of God from different cultures is of interest to the mystic, psychologist, the anthropologist and the metaphysician and the symbolist.  These images tell us something.  They tell us of man's eternal search for realities.
• An Indian's perspective: if you want to represent life you must make a cluster of living things to represent it, but there are more living things and virtues than can be depicted so it will never be an accurate representation of life's diversity.
• Language is a way of transforming images into words and can go on and on, and never could we have enough words or symbols to record everything, what life is. 
• The universe is an archetypal figure, a pattern.
•  

Not a fan of the lyrics, but the chorus is so good I can muster through it.  Totally sounds like angels.

• How do people create this imagery?  Artists, particularly in the early period of the Gothic art period created an entire language of symbolic attributes by means of which it would be possible to distinguish the degrees of sanctity or divinity present in the various representations that they made.
• This is also the only way we can represent the various virtues and vices of humanity.
• Ancient man viewed deity as parent and therefore all of life was a family and gradually the mother takes the supreme position, especially in Chinese families - in Egypt the mother was the symbol for procreation and fertility of God - in Japan mercy was a female God, of the eternal, of everlastingness.
• The child's heart has been lost, but never disproved - if children is the kingdom of God.  The world of fantasy, and never disproved.  The world of make believe is love.
• The voice of Native Americans gave them a death song.
• Watched the whole thing but not enough time to write up notes on it.  I do feel a sense of validation and inspiration as well, though!

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Notes:

• Angels exist.  They are a symbol of man's connected consciousness and are the highest vibrational guide.  
• They exist in all dimensions, also called light bodies because their vibration is the closest vibrational frequency to that of Source energy or God energy.
• They are the least dense, and often may come across as light, the reason is that light is the very first manifestation into the physical dimension, and therefore the least physically manifested thing, which show up as pure light.
• They do not necessarily have wings.  The wings which you have associated with angels are more of a metaphor, because during the Judeo-Christian era, which is when the true symbol of angels arose.
• Messages used to be sent via birds over long distances and so the people of that time saw wings as a representative of a messenger of a message.  So angels come across with that image because they are a spiritual messenger.  They carry messages from Source, so it is a symbolic image just like demons are a symbolic image.
• Because of the Christian influence, still prevalent today, the image of an angel with wings is still something which speaks to most of humanity so they can show up that way, but they also can and will show up in whatever other image will be best received by you.
• When upper dimension extraterrestrial life forms appear to human kind, they often come across as beings of light and thus are often seen as angels.  Many of the historical run ins with people and angels are actually extraterrestrial encounters.
• Pleadians are a culprit for this misinterpretation - however the goal of the angel and the extraterrestrial, which exists in a higher dimensional reality is one and the same.  The goal of the angel and the higher dimensional reality extraterrestrials is to connect you to your Source energy, your higher Self by closing the vibrational gap between where you are and want to be to guide you towards your own alignment.
• Fallen angels are a representation of man's own fear of separation, disapproval, of exile and being cast our or of sin - therefore they're more like a demon thought form than an angel thought form.  For this reason fallen angels are not actually considered angels.
• Like demons, angels must be invited to become a part of your subjective reality and to become a part of your conscious awareness.  They're invited my your desire and by your awareness and focus on them.
• They may choose to collapse their wave form and show up in an overt way as an archetypal angel such as an archangel or they may show up with no identity at all.  
• Some angels come across with no gender and no name because they want to pull you closer to the idea of non separateness and of oneness.
• They may show up as a dead loved one.  Like any tulpa, their interaction with the person is not the same across all people.  They may communicate with you through sensations like the feeling of total love and acceptance, the feeling of safety, or they may come across with scents or sounds like those trumpets you hear and associate with heaven.
• They may feed the energy of compulsion, meaning that you may feel super compelled by one of them to go and pick up a book off of a shelf, if you have been asking a question and the answer could be in that book.
• Or they may communicate with you via their very favorite modality of discourse which is signs, that which if you are less connected you see as coincidences.  
• One of these most common coincidences you'll find with angelic beings is that they make you convalesce with signs such as the number 11.  You may always see the number 11:11 on the clock.  That's because they number 11 is the number which is associated with angels.  Because it carries the very frequency of spirituality, intuition, inspiration and most of all light.
• That's why it is referred to in numerology circles as the light bearer.
• Even though every single person alive has their attention and their devotion, regardless of what you're doing, you must ask for their active help in your life because of the law of freewill.  
• When you came into this physical dimension you chose to become two points of perspective.  You are the perspective of your higher self.
• You are also the perspective of your individual physical existence and as such you have the free will of focus.
• You get to pay attention to whatever it is you want to pay attention to and thus your subjective reality will become the exact match, the physical match, of that focus, so if you choose not to focus on the presence of angels, they cannot show up in your objective reality.  Unless you choose to consciously focus on and invite this angelic presence into your life, they can't be a part of your reality.
• If you choose to focus on angelic presences and invite them into your life, they must become a part of your subjective reality.
• They cannot impose themselves on your reality.  
• Because signs are their most fluent form of discourse, perhaps the easiest way to communicate with angelic life forms is to ask for help or an answer and then let go.
• If you keep your eyes open, and allow the answer to show up in the form of a sign, then it will.
• Example: You could ask a question and then be driving later that day and a song will come on and the lyrics to that song will pertain to the asked question. 
• Angels do not look for worship.  That idea comes from man's feeling of worthlessness.  What they are looking for is invitation.  They, like us are simply another aspect of Source energy and thriving in your physical life is a benefit to all that is, including angels.
• Their purpose, joy and expansion is served by participating in our lives on a daily basis.  Their expansion is served by guiding us.  They anticipate and wait to be called into our life and to help us toward our own expansion and our desires.
• Nothing is trivial to an angel, if you allow them into your life by asking them to open up your focus in order to receive them they will make themselves known to you.  
• It is a beautiful and sweet experience.

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Notes: 

• The idea is that Thoth is associated by linguistic clues to be relative to YHVW.
• The tetragrammaton or four character acronym Yah-hey vah-hey being presented as Yahweh, has a hidden delay or minor feminine characteristic as noted by the Zohar.
• The hay is a formation of both Dalit and Yud and can be pronounced as 'D' as in the letters D Y with this knowledge in hand.
• This comes to form the word Yehudi or Jew.
• The elaboration concludes that the stretching forth of the hand which is a pun between Yad and Yud - Yad being had can be referential to this word within order.
• Scriptural references: it is stated in Hosea 13:4 - "I am YHVW, your God from the land of Egypt." 
• Conceptually these statements support Yehudi to be verbally referential to deity, or the Egyptian God Thoth.
• In the grand scheme of things it appears to almost be a revelation from an antiquated deity of knowledge and wisdom associated with magical practice.
• Such a relationship is proven can tie the older Kabbalistic practice to Iceane mysteries further into the later development of the Corpus Hermeticum or with a imaginative stretches pretty much all Greco Egyptian mysticism studies of the natural world and their derivatives.
• If it were true, it's kind of a big deal.  
• Thoth and practical mystism are already considered derivatives of the Emerald Tablets attributed to him, the Corpus Hermeticum itself or magic as an ancient means of studying the nature of things.

I could write of the broken tables upturned, broken china
in my insides broken windows…
And I could write of a wrinkled letter
posted stabbing folded
yesteryear, holding on…

But would it serve you?  How could it serve you?

 

Edited July 2, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

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Notes:

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Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.
     And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
     When love beckons to you, follow him,
     Though his ways are hard and steep.
     And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
     Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
     And when he speaks to you believe in him,
     Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

     For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
     Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
     So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
     Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself
     He threshes you to make your naked.
     He sifts you to free you from your husks.
     He grinds you to whiteness.
     He kneads you until you are pliant;
     And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

     All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

     But if in your heart you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
     Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
     Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
     Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
     Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
     For love is sufficient unto love.

     When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
     And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

     Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
     But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
     To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
     To know the pain of too much tenderness.
     To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
     And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
     To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
     To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
     To return home at eventide with gratitude;
     And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

•  
• What does it mean when we are on one side and then we cross over to another and then perhaps cross back over again.
• The term comes from separating straw and detritus from the barnyard and the house.  A boundary.
• Another threshold state is when you have just woken up - you are not quite awake and not quite asleep - can you carry the dream content across the threshold, sometimes this is difficult - the dream world dissolves away, out of your grasp.
• What do we have to cultivate in order to carry from the inside to the outside - what strengths and abilities do we need to have?
• There are many myths where a character has to go down into the underworld.
• You can't look back once the threshold door opens.  We can't bring it back just as it was from the underworld, there is some translation and a shift that happens as we cross into waking life and visa versa.
• Some myths about faeries involve falling asleep on the forest floor and thinking you've been given a gift of money or something like that only to find dirt in your pockets, lol!

Lovely sounding album.  It makes me so happy to write up something detailed and get an accurate suggestion.

• We have to sacrifice ego and consciousness in a self annihilation to take a journey into sacred space, the deep unconscious.  Faerie realms.
• The myth of Inanna had a serious of thresholds to reach her sister, each time she would have to lose an accoutrement, so when she passed through she surrendered naked.
• But you don't have to surrender everything.
• Jung's cultivation of active imagination: to be asleep and awake at the same time.
• To live in the threshold, if you were to go too fully into your unconsciousness you would lose your objectivity within the subconscious dreamstate and lose it's potency.  
• To live in the liminal space, which Jung also called the transcended function, this place where the conscious an unconscious mind are in dialogue, which happens in the threshold.  
• The place may be the ego becomes more of a supplicant, doesn't disappear but acknowledges relationship with something larger.
• The removal of the clothing of Inanna, she doesn't become unconscious, she does have to dispossess herself of something and perhaps even the defenses to be naked in the myth so that all the tiny nuances of change in the cave can be registered by the wholeness of her psyche.  
• You have to maintain some consciousness at the same time that you are willing to sacrifice this consciousness and go in consciously to the "faerie realm", don't make noise, don't clatter about, hide behind some rocks or some shit, lol, observe carefully.
• Stay focused on your task of going to the Goddess of the Underworld with your request, and remember to be mindful and respectful and shed a lot of our usual states of mind and defenses and stay conscious.
• Inanna went through seven gates, and in each gate she had to let go of an item of clothing.  It is the experience of crossing over that demands of us this relinquishing.  A sacrifice of all these parts of who we think we are that have to be given up so that we go in naked or undefended.
• Liminality: a movement from one attitude or orientation to another and there is this concept of liminality that's been brought into Jungian thought, it was originally a concept that was developed in anthropology - the rights of passage - comes from Latin for threshold.  It means the in-between space of initiation rights. 
• Preliminal state - in the normal world -  then you are in a threshold experience where you are neither what you were before but you're not the new thing, either and that is the liminal space.
• Then you cross over into the world of the initiated and then you're once again in a fixed form, but in this liminal space thing are a little bit fluid.  One thing can become another and nothing is pinned down and is similar to when Winnicott's transitional space.  

My song of crossing.

A robin has been hanging out with me, he knows I will give him blueberries.  I can whistle and he listens and responds.

• We know this is the space of the symbolic where we can access symbolic attitude, where we can understand that things are not literal, that they move and flow into one another - that they can be both one thing and another at the same time.
• Analysis is another threshold experience.
• The symbol itself is the threshold because the symbol is the visible representation behind which exists a larger, mysterious reality - but some part of that unseen reality passes through the symbol and the ego is able to have some relationship to it or to be influenced by at least some derivative of it, so every symbol in a sense is that little strip of wood around the door that allows passage, but maintains it's structure so that the inside and the outside are differentiated. 
• Wardrobe in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.  Looks like an ordinary wardrobe with fur coats and mothballs, but it is a space where one thing becomes another completely and it allows passage into a very different way of being.
• At some other level it is unknown and remains in that other world where it both beckons us and yet refuses to be just turned into something concrete like a stoplight.
• The difference between the willing threshold and unwilling threshold - do you go willingly or get dragged across? 
• Puberty is an unwilling threshold at this primordial instincts drag us through this radicle change and on the other side biologically we were considered reproductively viable adults.
• Curiosity draws us through a transition for something that we hope for, that we submit to an extended threshold experience feeling that we will come through by choice into some other world or condition.
• Some things happen to us that create a change, a change in state, that this is a threshold that you have to cross, whether it is because mother nature has so degreed, and how in so many cultures some of these changes are celebrated and heralded or marked in some way by initiation rights or other kinds of ritual and ceremony of the passage into adulthood, and something like death, which is the final threshold that for most of us, we are unwilling.
• Patients in an active dying process, in hospice work there is a differentiation between the progressive illness and then the body is actively shutting down and death is imminent and then that moment after when the body, the brain has stopped - it a marked threshold, the active dying process that is very powerful.
• It is powerful to be in the presence of, beautiful, horrifying, unstoppable, dark and terrible that cannot be avoided.
• The opposite of it is birth.  Another incredible threshold.  There is a sense of something crossing over from another realm.
• There is a passage but there is also that state change where all of a sudden it's different.  "The arrival."  "The other side."
• Compared to the process and tipping point of now it is different.  
• The work of personal growth and life is climbing a mountain, you keep taking step after step for all these years, and then perhaps through a process like analysis and a kind of willingness and trudging onward and work, you get to the top.
• And then one more step puts you on the other side to seeing things differently, having a different sense of self.
• A subtle but substantial change as well as the marked change of crossing over either into life through birth or crossing from life into death, but that we know something has shifted definitively and we may be having to take lots of steps down the other side of the mountain - it is a different landscape on the other side.  Something irrevocable has happened.
• Finding the language to claim the thing that we have entered into is also part of an analytic process or process of self knowledge.  "I have become different in some fashion and I have to hunt around for a way to describe that to my self so that I can have a conscious relationship to it."

• Broken thresholds: all of us, we live in homes and if you open the front door to your home, there's sometimes a metal plate or wooden plate at the bottom and some kind of sealing process around the door so when the door is closed it is air tight, or weather tight.
• So the threshold is meant to be robust so there is a clean demarcation.
• But if it is not effective, water will seep in and damage the floor of the winter weather will blow in and make the heating system inefficient.
• Example: psychosis, material from the unconscious begins to invade, crawl sin under the threshold which is not well sealed and people begin to have strange moods and feelings of terror and strange thoughts which are not related to reality that they're in.  That can be a broken threshold.
• In a more benign way, Freud's list of defenses are broken thresholds.  For instance that I am sitting over here and that there is a reality that's in the room and in order to cross the threshold and embrace reality I am caught in the broken threshold by denying what is actually going on and refusing to make the transition into admitting that something is true to myself.
• They can lock us in the threshold, when we are locked in a defense against reality, in a middle place where we can't make movement or repetition compulsion is a kind of broken threshold one cannot quite find the other side of.
• Addiction is a broken threshold..  "I cannot find a way to move and I am constantly cycling in a middle space."
• Being in the in between place can be fertile when talking about a before as liminality and have it enriched by a symbolic attitude and is something that we seek out when going into analysis or active imagination.
• We can also get stuck there in an unhealthy way.
• The distinction is that the liminal space when it works for us is a space of preparation for some kind of threshold experience, like the caterpillar in preparation when it starts to change to become a butterfly.
• Sci Fi can be profound and reference all kinds of archetypal things.
• Dead space - Anne McCaffery's books - dragons could go in between different worlds and in between them was nothingness - there was simply nothing and they were cold and some of the trips were short, but in one book there was a very long one.  There might be no crossing of the threshold.
•  Being stuck in a cycle where there are endless possibilities can seem lovely but is in fact, deadening.  
• There is the sacrifice that is required of leaving the old state, leaving childhood for adulthood, leaving home, leaving an addiction, a state of denial.  All kinds of things which require giving something up in order to cross the threshold.  
• We don't always know what we are going to find on the other side of the threshold, there are not always guarantees that you are going to be happy.
• One of the qualities of threshold experience is they can be intense and euphoric.
• The liminal part of the right, there is an altered state of consciousness that is cultivated.  It can happen in little ways in analysis or active imagination.  It is a special state where normal rules don't apply and that can be heavy and when we use substances that's what we are cultivating in a superficial way, but doesn't lead to a location on the other side of the door.
• One steps into the threshold and just keeps spinning in the space, which of course then becomes corrosive.
• Thresholds are by nature have a dissolving process, and then re-coagulating in a different attitude or even just casually.
• Lying is a broken threshold, a way in which one is standing in a middle place, spinning ideas and words that deprive somebody of landing into a concrete position and traps both people in a liminal space in an unhealthy way.
• The caterpillar has to go into a solution so that it can take a position as a butterfly, refusing to leave the middle place of dissolving then becomes toxic.  Becomes it's own process that's destructive.
• A lot of the practices of religion over eons are designed to make sure that people don't stay stuck in these liminal spaces.  That you will have a crossing over the threshold from childhood to adulthood, to some sort of initiatory right.

• Roman Cathodic: confirmation, healing, service, matrimony, etc. - so that the liminal space is closed down in an appropriate way and threshold is crossed from an unmarried to married state for example.
• Stalks of wheat, grains are embedded in the grasses are carried into the threshing room, over the threshold and they are laid down and walked upon or acted upon in some fashion to break away the chaff and to reveal what is valuable and then the grains are then removed, brought out of the threshold and are then subject to some other process, but they are considered what is valuable.  So to be threshed on the other side of the portal and to emerge differently, is inherent in the idea of the threshold.
• Many poets use the idea/metaphor of the threshing floor.
• It's a transition into a higher state, a state of becoming which may require some amount of aggression or violence but is in the service of individuation, of a assimilating something from the other side into awareness and into experiential awareness that changes us, makes us different and makes us more.
• Guardians of the gate:  Some of these mythical thresholds have watchmen, gates of Hell had a three headed dog, there are gatekeepers and doormen that sometimes appear as innocuous figures but turn out to have secret powers.  There are gargoyles, cathedrals.
• Janus is the God of doorways/gateways and passages and beginnings and endings.
• In the ancient and modern world, what is outside can contain what is dangerous, whether it is dangerous weather or whether it is dangerous creatures or people, and that to let someone into our hearts and lives and psyche - it is reasonable for them to be evaluated or to demonstrate something that gives us a sense that it will be beneficial to us or welcome for them to pass through - so the threshold becomes a place of testing and evaluating, perhaps even trial in an initiatic way.
• Are you ready to enter the sacred space or the new state, and to encounter in yourself you have the strength to have this encounter and if you don't know the magic word or the formula then clearly you are not ready or worthy.
• The desire to move into the other space is strong enough one then returns to the outer world and submits willfully to some form of educative or refining process, and the returns to see if they can answer the riddles or any number of things to achieve what is desired.
• But some things cannot be stolen, some things can only be gained through attainting a certain level, and sometimes those who seek to breach the threshold without having attainted it find that what is discovered is undecipherable because the preparation to be fit allows one to understand what is in the inner room.
• A lot of rituals focus on preparation for the crossing of the threshold so that you can receive what is on the other side in order to be present.
• The preparation is to ensure the would be crosser over, or initiate has sufficient ego strength and that has a direct parallel with therapy and psychanalysis that before you engage the other side, the unconscious, especially the deep unconscious you have to have enough ego strength to engage it and that is shown by your ability to prepare, to give Cerberus who guards the gate of Hell, you throw him three loaves of bread and that keeps him busy eating so you can cross through.
• All these things that show "Yes, I am prepared, I am grounded.  I have done my homework."
• With increasing interest in psychedelics, a lot of people are just taking them, but in traditional cultures where they are used there is a lot of preparation before you cross the threshold into that experience -
• Crossing over without preparation gets people into a lot of difficulty with themselves and all kinds of mental disorders versus the guardians of the elders of the tribe, special diets, rites and rituals so that you have a container in your self and in the community that will help you through the experience and to disregard and disrespect the power of the unconscious has consequences.

• Different traditions around the world have different thresholds, for some you have to step over them or you could kill a family member, for others you have to sprinkle holy water on the doorways and for some a vampire can be deterred with garlic or two shake hands or kiss across a threshold - one carries a bride across a threshold as well as a ritual.
• Once we cross a threshold we cannot uncross it and how we assimilate it will be another whole process.

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By the moonlight we arise with a waking
Knees not shaking, sharp and a shaping art
In the dawns rays, a dim breaking
Truth ablaze in perfect phase
Over, taking it for the taking
For what's not bought is what’s not made
No, we will not take it, another lie we will not take it
The future it’ll be much better
Those in chains will be unfettered
And the lights they’ll be shining above the tree line
There’s no defeat when we join each other here
I heard it through the walls of the station
Steel and stone could not confine us
Beyond above the boundaries of a nation
Still no stone could quite confine us
By the moonlight we arise with a waking
Knees not shaking, sharp and a shaping art
In the dawns rays, a dim breaking
Truth ablaze in perfect phase
I heard it through the walls of the station
Steel and stone could not confine us
Beyond above the bounds of a nation
Steel and stone could not confine us

Elephant Revival - The Obvious

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A collage of mine and a dead robin's egg I found in the yard this morning,  It's an offering for Grandmother Earth - you have your human mother and then the one who came before - I was thinking of covid, and how humans interfere with nature too much.  I was thinking of what I would want to bring for a second chance manifested in a new world, a new society and how that would feel to me and went with Red Riding Hood, as well as The REDress project in mind thematically.  I question if the recipe for the human psyche needs to be redone...
I put this on imgur and people got the wrong idea.  It's hard to remember, most people are gross.  Ultimately, people will do whatever it takes online to make pure things terrible.  The more time I spend online, the more I realize that I can use this spot to write things out, and I have a good vision for it, but everywhere else I should keep my presence as limited as possible.
My goal is individuation.  
I should try to have less expectations of other people and realize that they just won't understand.  And ultimately, that should be okay.  I'm not sure which would be more mortifying, being understood or not.  At least with misunderstanding, you can leave, but with understanding you're stuck there.  And then they know why, too...
I need to work on being more social.  IRL I am very amicable.  At the hospital people really liked having me as a roommate.  I like to be helpful.  Being there for a month restored my faith in humanity.  That people online are nothing like people in the real world.  That a "nuthouse" is more sane than the underbelly of humanity's collective dark side.
Life is Earth's recipe.  Passed down from one generation to the next, we lost something.  Who knew that something was so integral, that in runs through everything and that life is mysterious and magical and full of the best illusions?
Feed the Light.

Made for a friend in the hospital but I never found the right time to give it to them.  If we ever meet again, I will.
They gave me a sense of being okay with myself.  Very observational person...
People like that are rare.  Hope she is doing well.  <3

Edited July 2, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

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Notes:

tbc

finished the ones above.

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Notes:  stopped 3 mins in.

• A collection of trees is called a stand.
• Trees are the foundation of forests but they are much more than what you see.

• Underground there is this other world, a world of infinite biological pathways that connect trees and allow them to communicate and allow the forest to behave as though it is a single organism, a sort of intelligence.
• Under the dirt is white mycelium networks and under that the red and yellow mineral horizons.  The pallet of the roots and soil is the foundation of the forest.
• One pine seedling root can transmit carbon to another pine seeding root.

Quote

Look at this poor boy
All dressed up in white
Now how can he smile
With a face of all eyes

He wonders the night
Through smears and words snide
Spinning round and round
His precious mind
Like dizzy neon lights

Can anybody find out
Any other way
It's choking up his throat now
And dripping out his mouth
Like liquefied dying sparks
Like burning butterflies
These creatures are vampires
They're killing by the night
They're falling from the dead trees

To silhouette your life
He sees this white face
Brains lit grey and cold
Trees grows in their throats

And crystals ignored
His cellophane mask has filled with red smoke
Look through the holes in his eyes
And see his red righteous soul
Can anybody find out
Any other way
It's choking up his throat now
And dripping out his mouth

These creatures are vampires
They're killing by the night
They're hanging in the dead trees
Like burning butterflies

I wonder how much time is left before the world catches on fire?  Literally, figuratively.  How will it be?  Will it be swift, an unforeseen circumstance or something that we all collectively cognitively avoided but knew about for decades?  Maybe a bit of both?
Maybe... it doesn't matter, since I have the prima materia, I can make anything for the next world.  The fruit of perfection, imagination.
But I don't know what I want to make...  I thought about it when I was doing my Bible speedrun in the psych ward.  I want to be something invisible to humans, able to change into different experiences, but can enjoy everything Earth has to offer and I want to dance through the streets.  I wrote it down.  Something tells me that an interesting thing will happen if I follow a divine scripture.  It saved me from some bad people who held me hostage at the hospital in May.  They brought a gun... I wish...
That it did not happen because I don't think that what they were upset about was who I am.
It felt like I was going to be a victim in a hate crime... and I thought, "I am too ordinary for this.  If this is what happens, if this is how people spend their time... then no wonder the world looks like this.  I worried initially that I had done something wrong, but my lack of presence let me know the truth.  So, I really thought I would be shot, and that followed me for some time. and... 
I felt like a coward.
And...
There was a lack of development.
How on earth are people brave?  I just don't know.  It feels like a surreal dream now.
So I followed the Bible to see if I was guilty.  I genuinely did not know if my life was worthless... and I was saved.  I was right...!  About what I had been talking about.  That what you carry imaginatively within you is the key to the next heaven.  This place is just parking.  Just so I could learn this.  I want to get back into it.  I used holy water as well.  On my lips, my third eye, my heart, my hands and feet.
I have all my stuff, my equipment needed for this project.  I still need to organize it a bit.
This tree in the yard... some people as well... they are incarnations - bits and pieces of someone I should know.  And this whole life is a preparation for that.  It is so symbolic that I just can't word it right without sounding... wrong.
But every time I am away from it, something tells me that I was right.  I just... I found it too soon.

There are a few things I could make, but I must do so with the people who are ill in mind.  The next Earth is something much different, if you grow in the right way, the forest tells me this.  And no one listens... so maybe, I think, it's just up to my heart.  But I'm a no body.  So why me?  How?
I ran face forward into it when I thought I would die.  Every time.  I think I am wrong, and then... it just... it's just there. 
Shunyamurti is right.  Once you become aware of what this prophecy is - it's inescapable.  The moment I speak like this, spiral dynamics and what it has done to categorize people will set in with many of you.  There is something there... that I can almost describe.  But I just can't yet.  I think I just have to live it and that's the best that I can do.  Imagination is the Truth... so... what happens to those who don't believe?

 

People can you hear me?
There is a message that I'm sending out
I've got the answers to all your problems
And tonight I'll be singing it loud
Just surrender yourself to the rhythm
Put your hands up in the sky
Feel the energy deep inside your system
And leave this world behind

 Title:  "Leave' em a vague explanation."

Quote

My name was written down from a foundation
Despite our faithlessness you send salvation
Lost through the garden gates
Lips wet with languish
No thought of memory
No simple precedent
And now I know it's true

His day is coming boy
That final judgement
No matter where you go
You can't hide from him
Lost through the garden gates
Lips wet with languish
No thought of memory
No simple precedent
And now I know it's true

Lost through the garden gates
Lips wet with languish
Your day is coming oh
And I feel it
Lost through the garden gates
Lips wet with languish
No thought of memory
No simple precedent
And now I know it's true

 

Edited July 3, 2021 by Loba
Not about covid. Bats are my symbol for the universe manifest. Sophia, wisdom, is an echo projection.

[Loba]

Quote

I am who I am.

Quote

Ace of spades.

I understand the meaning of True Suffering for all living beings. 
The eternal groan, like a wave.... "Eeeehhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn......" 
A sea of lost souls.  The only way through is on a boat of Love.  True Love from God source.
It isn't frightening.  It feels more like, "Now you really Know."

I have been playing these two songs together, at the same time today.  They complement one another, like a train engine and wheels. 
It sounds like going through a tour of the underworld.  The groans are also the moving wheels...  and they are moving me through... instead of bogging me down, they seem to be infused with the body of the train while I am simultaneously the vessel.

"Nnnnnnnnnn... ehhhhhhhhhhh...

It feels like they are trying to push me through to the side of light.
I hear the  sound of a cocking of a gun in the music...

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

I feel like the wave is trying to tell me what to wish for; for the relieving of suffering for all things.
The realm of suffering is singing to me on the train of eternal damnation.  Within it, love.  This love protects me, like a pocket, from the Truth of what it is.
My intention is to carry with me, long term, the energy needed to save those who are lost in eternal suffering through manifestation.
If I do this while waking up to my true nature, then it will have some influence simply through the law of attraction.  Bashar mentions I can shift my reality to this, we each create our own.  I think it is something I will move into - I am aware and prompted on this side of the coin and feel ready to put an end to suffering.

My compassion has increased.

Quote

• Cocytus - A river in hell.
• Katabasis - The process of descending into the underworld
• How Katabasis ties in with depth psychology
• Nekyia - A dark night of the soul, but not Katabasis
• Ode to the Underworld: Nekyia, Katabasis and the Dark Night of the Soul

Cocytus /koʊˈsaɪtəs/ or Kokytos /koʊˈkaɪtəs/ (Ancient Greek: Κωκυτός, literally "lamentation") is the river of wailing in the underworld in Greek mythology. Cocytus flows into the river Acheron, on the other side of which lies Hades, the underworld, the mythological abode of the dead. There are five rivers encircling Hades: the Styx, Phlegethon, Lethe, Acheron and Cocytus.

The trip to the underworld is a mytheme of comparative mythology found in a diverse number of religions from around the world. The hero or upper-world deity journeys to the underworld or to the land of the dead and returns, often with a quest-object or a loved one, or with heightened knowledge. The ability to enter the realm of the dead while still alive, and to return, is a proof of the classical hero's exceptional status as more than mortal. A deity who returns from the underworld demonstrates eschatological themes such as the cyclical nature of time and existence, or the defeat of death and the possibility of immortality.

A number of sites in Greece and Italy were dedicated wholly or in part to this practice. "The Underworld communicated with the earth by direct channels. These were caverns whose depths were unplumbed, like that of Heraclea Pontica." The most notable was the Necromanteion in the northwestern Greek town of Ephyra. Other oracles of the dead could be found at Taenaron and Avernus. Such specialized locations, however, were not the only places where necromancy was performed. One could also perform the rite at a tomb, for example. Among the gods associated with the Nekyia rite are Hades, his wife Persephone, Hecate, and Hermes (in his capacity as psychopompus – one who escorted souls to Hades).

C. G. Jung used the concept of Nekyia as an integral part of his analytical psychology: "Nekyia ... introversion of the conscious mind into the deeper layers of the unconscious psyche". For Jung, "the Nekyia is no aimless or destructive fall into the abyss, but a meaningful katabasis ... its object the restoration of the whole man".

While Jung used the term Nekyia and katabasis interchangeably, psychologist James Hillman had a clear distinction. For him, Nekyia was “night sea journey” while the katabasis was the journey to the lower worlds. However, both Jung and Hillman believed it was helpful to have a guide and be led downwards as it can be scary to face the shadowy underworld alone.

This is the underworld river, not the shadow...
Karma.  Suffering and ignorance.

Play these together at the same time. ▼

Quote

Take shelter
It's time to hold your ground
When you can't make a sound
Don't move

It's coming
The tempest is bearing down
When panic and fear abound
We lose

No escape from the darkness
No escape from the endless tides of misery

As it rages on (as it rages on)
The storm of the century
A devastating legacy

As it pulls you in (as it pulls you in)
Search for your center
Refuse to surrender

Take me to the other side
Perfect picture in my mind
Of another place and time
A land of peace and sweet respite

Don't betray your inner light
Letting in this darkest night
Howling winds as waters rise
We're just holding on for life

Don't betray your inner light
Letting in this darkest night
Howling winds as waters rise
We're just holding on for life

Is the stillness here a sign of the end?
(Sign of the end, sign of the end)
Will the downpour start all over again?
(Over again, over again)

The things I tell you

Batshit crazy.

•  

4:34

Quote

Ect.  It Is what It Is.

Edited July 8, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

• Wolf symbolism
• Wolf symbolism II
• Wolves in folklore, religion and mythology

Nekyia.

In ancient Greek cult-practice and literature, a nekyia or nekya (Ancient Greek: νέκυια ἡ νέκυα) is a "rite by which ghosts were called up and questioned about the future," i.e., necromancy. A nekyia is not necessarily the same thing as a katabasis. While they both afford the opportunity to converse with the dead, only a katabasis is the actual, physical journey to the underworld undertaken by several heroes in Greek and Roman myth.

Wolf symbolism is ambiguous, ranging from negative associations with darkness, aggression, and chthonic powers to positive wolf characteristics like curiosity, intelligence, playfulness, fierce protectiveness of their young, pack allegiance, formidable hunting skills, and clearly defined social structure. 

Wolves have also fascinated men since the early days because they look so similar to dogs – man’s best friend. They are closely linked to light, sun, moon, and spirit. Wolves also guide the dead and are closely linked to Hades – the God of the underworld.

Many peoples throughout the world respected and thought very positively of wolves.  Among the various peoples and tribes of North America, wolf represents not only creation, but also death and rebirth.  Wolf is also seen as a teacher-animal to the peoples of California and the Great Plains.  They saw the wolf retreat into the mountains and hills to get away from humans, and made the connection between wolves and high places (in other words, spirit).  In the Lakota language, the word for wolf, sunkmanitu, means “divine dog.”

In western Europe, wolves were not seen as positively.  In both German and Norse mythology, wolf was a symbol of destruction and death.  Vikings saw wolf as a representation of Fenris (their Chaos), who would bite through his chains and consume the sun at the end of time.  In an unusual story exhibiting the wolf’s loyalty, in Great Britain, Merlin in his time of madness is kept company by a she-wolf, who stays by his side until he becomes well again.  Romulus and Remus, the famous twins in pre-Roman times, were said to have been raised by a she-wolf--even suckled by her.

Wolves are respected nearly everywhere except Europe, where they are instead feared.  They are seen as teachers, instructing us in our daily lives and all the troubles that go with them.  The lessons wolf teaches are not always easy to swallow, but nevertheless necessary.  Wolf is a symbol of guardianship, ritual, loyalty, and spirit.  Wolf has the ability to make quick and firm emotional attachments, and often need to trust their own instincts.  Thus they teach us to do the same, to trust our hearts and minds, and have control over our own lives.

Quote

Doctors can be a bit like that, especially with patients with mental health symptoms. But did you know that only about 1 in 5 people who hear voices actually end up contacting mental health services? It’s a lot more common than the doctors would have you think, even if a lot of those who keep it quiet can do so because they just hear an occasional voice, often the voice of a family member. There is a whole separate support network for “voice hearers” which is not managed by doctors but by volunteers. 

It is not easy to give these kinds of experiences a place in spiritual growth. I recall seeing the documentary Crazywise which talks some about shamans and how they would see these things as a talent for seeing into another world. But in western society it is not straightforward, everything gets ‘medicalised’ and buried under a load of pills. Finding what it means to you as a spiritual person takes a lot of time if you don’t have a guide.
-bodhitree

Do I have fool's gold?  I'll find out.

Quote

No, it's gold.  A golden seed.  A forest, a tree, a wish, whatever, all things Good and True.
And still smack dab in the middle of a great mystery of the ages.

Quote

Quote

Sirius.  

Whispers Of Angels Between Heaven And Earth

"Fuck off."

I do have gold but I'm not ready.  It was a friendly "fuck off."

Quote

• Remember?
  Not really.
  Then fuck off.
  Maybe society tells us such things, would you really say that?
  Yes and no
• This hits the spot... :3  Like the flipside of the train of the underworld, this "uhmmmmmm..." is filled with love and peace.

 

Edited July 9, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Work in progress, almost done.  Just trying to work through some thoughts.

I had a delusion I could get stuck in the sex trade or could have my life bargained/ransomed with and this was the collage/music that came from that.  When humility gets confused, defiance becomes a point of pride.  I relate to that and need to be more humble or I will attract negative karma, and cause problems for the collective as well.  Gratitude is the cure for this.

Quote

Cathedrals of our own (cathedralsofourown) - Fairfax - this is Annie.  I want to do a synchronicity thing where if you enter your name you might find me.  This song is representative of my cathedral after dealing with all of that, lol.  Please let me know how you have been and if everything worked out for you.  Please read on from this point forward but don't read my previous posts until you've read my current ones because I am undergoing a process of changing who I am as a person.  If you find this tell me all about how you've been and what's new.

I am going to enter in Easter eggs for other people that I have met at the hospital and different areas in the real world, to see if they are meant to be in my life and vice versa.  I want to know if I have found the "light" that I was looking for in the book; it's like an illumination - and if this can be transferable to other people.  So tell me if you find something within yourself, okay?

Quote

• Slaughterhouse. What the meat industry hides. // Documentary film. - age restricted on YouTube.
• Meet your meat

"Mmm, bacon!"

I'm trying to force myself into vegetarianism.  Maybe veganism someday.

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Started in 2017 - I love bats - I like how with their noses, ears and wings they offer more variation for strange shapes to come together. ??❤️?  My poor batties will forever be synonymous with covid.  But actually, they are apparently an important marker for ecological health and scientists use them to determine if an ecosystem is "sick" or not.  They have many different specialties, too, some of them very unique.

Me realizing just how crazy I am.  This is going to take some serious work to untangle.  
I think, however, after this picture, I am going to draw a few cats for a while.  I have some ideas.

• This song feels like asmr.  I feel like I'm tripping all the time.  How do things so obviously not real become so strangely real?  Once the delusion is seen through it's just like, "Yeah okay that wasn't real."  But then it pops back up again, like... signs that seem to have some sort of direction but also don't, but I still end up with spiritual wisdom somehow.  As though my foolishness has forced me to go deep with this stuff, no pun intended.    
  It feels like a curse, like I line 'em up and it's so wrong but also so so right.
  I just don't get it... 

I'm not special, I'm normal I'm just crazy and when you're crazy the rules of reality change.
And then it's real.  But in all the wrong ways - but the fact that you can see anything at all, that some pattern of truth breaks free, this means something important.  I was in a hostage situation at the ER, but I also have had a lot of delusions and seeing through them requires noticing the things I don't pay attention to, or can't, and that karma is what seems alive most of all.

 

Quote

Bat Shit Crazy

No one's paved the road to paradise
Or guaranteed that it'd be nice
It's just a long road hard road
Dragging our little red wagons
'Til were six feet under wondering
"What the fuck have I done?
Where did my time go?"
At times in life you gotta take a chance and
Dance on broken glass and
See who relapsed

Love has tortured
Love has killed
Love has saved a million still
We're all we need; two lungs one heart
To face the troubles life does part
Don't waste a second breath you're dealt
Take it, hold it, make it felt
One wasted life one wasted youth
Wasted prospects idols too
Your own demise
You're better off alone
No alibi
No compromise!

No one's paved the road to paradise
Or guaranteed that it'd be nice
It's just a long road hard road
Dragging our little red wagons
'Til were six feet under wondering
"What the fuck have I done?
Where did my time go?"
At times in life you gotta take a chance and
Dance on broken glass and
See who relapsed

Last night I had a dream
I went to a golden place
A place I didn't recognize
St. Peter don't let me in
He says I don't have faith
He says I don't believe
I don't believe

Love has tortured
Love has killed
But love has saved a million still
We're all we need two lungs one heart
To face the troubles life does part
Don't waste a second breath
You're deal, Take it, Hold it, Make it felt
One wasted life one wasted youth
Wasted prospects idols too [x2]

No one's paved the road to paradise
Or guaranteed that it'd be nice
It's just a long road hard road
Dragging our little red wagons
'Til were six feet under wondering
"What the fuck have I done?
Where did my time go?"
At times in life you gotta take a chance and
Dance on broken glass and
See who relapsed

Quote

I was drinking whiskey 'til it's dawn
All I know is I'm far from done
I lay outside to feel the sun
I ain't felt this great in months
I roll my joints, I smoke my blunts
I'll pass it 'round, I might give you some
Can't kill my high, can't kill my buzz
I'll be around 'til I'm the only one

'Til I'm the only one
'Til I'm the only one
'Til I'm the only one

Woke up feelin' sideways
Now I'm on the highway
The devil's door in my way, yeah
Might be Monday, might be Friday
I never look behind me
So, I'ma keep on climbing, yeah
All I see is green lights
Fly up in the mountains where the wind whines
I see right
I could build a ladder that reach new heights
Damn this sight
I can see the coast off in the distance
Damn it feels nice
But it could be gone all in an instance
So, raise your glass and spark your jay
I'm on a beach underneath the shade
Surrounded by this purple haze
And I won't stop 'til it's yesterday

I'm drinking whiskey 'til it's dawn
All I know is I'm far from done
I lay outside to feel the sun
I ain't felt this great in months
I roll my joints, I smoke my blunts
I'll pass it 'round, I might give you some
Can't kill my high, can't kill my buzz
I'll be around 'til I'm the only one

'Til I'm the only one
'Til I'm the only one
'Til I'm the only one

Smoke a cig' up on the porch
Took a tab, now, let's explore
Let the LSD absorb, watch reality distort
Feel like my mind is on tour
Feel like I'm goin', want some more of this
Go open out those doors
Let's go put me on the floor
See the world breathe
I can't hear a thing except my heartbeat
I'm flying into new dimensions you can find me
I'm hiding all way 'cause I feel like life is blinding
I'm trying to keep it together while I'm winding
So, I wanna spend my night without a fucking plan
Who knows, it might end in Japan
I'll never change that's just how I am
I'ma live today like it's the last I have

I'm drinking whiskey 'til it's dawn
All I know is I'm far from done
I lay outside to feel the sun
I ain't felt this great in months
I roll my joints, I smoke my blunts
I'll pass it 'round, I might give you some
Can't kill my high, can't kill my buzz
I'll be around 'til I'm the only one

'Til I'm the only one
'Til I'm the only one
'Til I'm the only one

I'm drinking whiskey out the barrel
I'm drinking whiskey while I was a feral
I'm drinking whiskey, yeah, out the barrel
I'm drinking whiskey, yeah, while I was a feral
So...

I'm drinking whiskey 'til it's done
I might get high, I might get spun
Enjoy the ride, that's all I want
No one's around, now, I'm the only one
Yeah, I'm the only one (now, I'm the only one)
Yeah, I'm the only one (now, I'm the only one)
Now, I'm the only one (now, I'm the only one)
Yeah, I'm the only One

 

Edited July 11, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

 

Quote

Shamanism feels a lot like this.  Another basic reincarnation insight.
Oh no, someone responded to me on here, I get nervous when that happens as people here fight and posture a lot so I just won't look.  I worry about wasting energy and losing beneficial chains of thought/emotional resolution to online nonsense.
I feel a deep sense of passion.  The sun shines for a second when I learn I can hold certain chains of insight into my heart chakra.  My avatar is a visual marker of my power, and of my Love.  A deep, bright light that is hard to access and hard for me to witness and sometimes more truthful than I would like, but nuanced and warm and just like how Home should be.
We are all so beautiful.  I Am Light.
It took a lot to get here.  I earned this Light, and I can share it and show it.  I wonder if maybe somehow I altered the course of my history.  The negotiator was real... it's like there were signs everywhere so I knew it would happen that night and I had to follow my intuition like a game, step by step - to get my energy level to leave if something happened.  Everything is based on predator/prey dynamics.  Everything in the world.  I could see "the man", remnants of the energy sucking ghost in the machine.  Sounds crazy I know.  It could be.  That's what I need to find out.

This song here explains it.  It feels like notes.  Slippery scales.  I feel the nuance between good and evil and could let go of some judgement this evening and could see how it clouds up the bigger picture perspective.

"If direct objective analysis makes you uncomfortable then you have failed."

I try.  I wouldn't say I failed, though.

Another reply on here - not gunna look.  I just don't like the idea of people trying to decide why a person killed themselves and then pin the responsibility of that on someone else.  If I committed suicide, I would be really annoyed in the afterlife that what people took from that was to spread theories about me and others and make things more negative.  We can't fully know why people do what they do, people are more complicated then that.  Situations are as well...
 

Quote

• 
• What's in the heart of things?
  A flame.
  *smile*

Quote

Moon version of my avatar.  Night/day, above/below

Quote

The meta-problem with all such "intellectuals" is that they are not construct-aware. In other words, their own mind is not conscious of how it is constructing, imagining, and projecting symbolism and meaning onto reality.

The Universe is a field of consciousness that dreams up symbols, meanings, and ideas, and spins them into coherent, life-like narratives.

Consider this: your life is not a biological or physical process or phenomenon. Rather, your life is a narrative spun by Universal Mind, of which biology and physicality are sub-narratives. The Universe is a not a physical system, the Universe is a Mind which spins the narrative that physical systems exist outside of a narrative. "The brain", "the body", and "the world" are not things that Mind occurs in, they are elements of a narrative that Mind is spinning. Mind itself is unlimited and not bound by any physical constraints or needs. In other words, a brain cannot exist without Mind, but Mind has no problem existing without a brain. The key insight is to realize that Mind is more fundamental than brain or atoms. Until you realize this, you do not grasp the significance of what reality is.

But anyhow, the key for not deluding oneself is to be conscious that whatever interpretations you're making, to recognized them as part of your reality-construction-project. Until you accomplish this you will keep getting lost in your own interpretations, confusing them for an objective material world.

As much as Jordan Peterson rails against the dangerous excesses of the neo-Marxist/progressive worldview, how about the dangerous excesses of the Jordan Petersonian worldview? — as exhibited by the guy in the video above? When some conservative mind gets ahold of JP's philosophy — that's way more dangerous, even if JP himself is innocent.

From Leo's blog - good thing to take note of.

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Today I start my 15/15 rule and see what I can get done this way.  Not a permanent solution, but I am hoping it will help with my lack of attentiveness.

9 - 5 ?

• 1. Journaling
• 2. Work/responsibilities
• 3. Self care
• 4. Artwork

I don't know what to make of this... lol.  I'll finish it though.  After this, time for some cats.

So, right now is journaling.  I have no major plans for this other than to generate energy, to move towards a goal of understanding a bit better.  
I need to create a daily ritual as well for the morning and evening to remain grounded.  But I'm not sure what that will be, it is something to think about for sure.
I miss the sounds of 2014-2016, the kygo-type stuff that sounds kind of like a Caribbean summer.

Quote

?Genesis: Chapter 1: ?

∞  In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep.  And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
And God said, "Let there be light." and there was light.
And God saw that the light was good.  And God separated the light from the darkness.
God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night.  And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.
And God said, "Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters."
And God made the expanse and separated the waters that were under the expanse from the waters that were above the expanse.  And it was so.
And God called the expanse Heaven.  And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.
And God said, "Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear."  And it was so.
God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas.  And God saw that it was good.
And God said, "Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind on the earth."  And it was so.
The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind.  And God saw that it was good.
And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.
And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night.  And let them be for signs and for seasons, and for days and years.
"and let them be lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light upon the earth."  And it was so.
And God made the two great lights -- the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night -- and the stars.
And God set them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth,
to rule over the day and over the night, and the separate the light from the darkness.  And God saw that it was good.
And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.
And God said, "Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the heavens."
So God created the great sea creatures and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind.  And God saw that it was good.
And God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth."
And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.
And God said, "Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds -- livestock and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds."  And it was so.
And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the livestock according to their kinds, and evening thing creeps on the ground according to its kind.  And God saw that it was good.
And then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.  And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping things that creeps on earth."
And so God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
And God blessed them.  And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish pf the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that move on the earth."
And God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit.  You shall have them for food.
"And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food."  And it was so.
And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.  And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.  ∞

We are like this, a bunch of different variations that altogether create one unified painting.  God is an artist.
This is literal, this is what it "feels" like to be plugged in to nature/life/ect.

 

Now here you go again, you say you want your freedom
Well, who am I to keep you down?
It's only right that you should play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness

Like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost
And what you had
And what you lost

Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say, women, they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know
You'll know

Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
It's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams
And have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness

Like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost
And what you had
Oh, what you lost

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Women, they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know

Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say, women, they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know
You'll know
You will know
Oh, you'll know

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Notes:

• Heaven above, heaven below, stars above, stars below, all that is above thus also below.
  Understand this and be blessed.

• As above, so below: a great word, a sacramental phrase, a saying of wisdom, an aphorism, a mystic formula, a fundamental law, or a two-edged sword of word fence that will probably do the wielder serious damage if he is not previously put through careful training in its handling.
• Whether this famous word is of hermetic origin or no, we will not stay formally to inquire.  In essence it is probably as old as human thought itself and as probably, the idea lying underneath it has been turned topsy-turvy more frequently than any other of the mortal company.
• As above so below.  Doubtless enshrines some vast idea of analogical law.  Some basis of true reason which would sum up the manifold appearances of things into one single verity.
• But the understanding of the mystery of manifoldness from the one all one and one in all, is not to be attained by careless thinking or by some lucky guess or by the past time of artificial corresponding.  If the truth must be out, in 99 cases of 100, when one uses this phrase to clinch an argument, we find that we have begged the question from the start.

A curse of a dark mind.  Welcome to the fucked up friends club.  A literal drop in the ocean, even by design.

• Ended where we began and asserted the opposite of our logian.  Instead of illuminating not only the subject we have in hand but all subjects by grasp of the eternal verity concealed within our saying, we have reversed it into the ephemeral and false proposition as below so above.
• Deas verily inverses est demon and there's the devil to pay but fortunately there is some compensation even in this illogical age.
• Even along our most modern lines of thought, even in propositions and principles that are with every day coming more and more into favor in the domain of practical philosophizing we find our ageless aphorism stood up on its head with scantiest ceremony.  
• In the newest theology in the latest philosophy we find a strong tendency to revive the ancient idea that man is the measure of the universe whether we call this concept pragmatism or by any other name that sounds as sweet as below then so above.
• In fact we do not seem to be able to get away from this inversion.  We like it thus turned upside down and I am not altogether sure that even for the keenest minded of us it is not an excellent exercise thus to anthropomorphize in the sense of anthropos of course.
• stopped 4 mins in

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Another important type of transpersonal crisis was described by Californian psychiatrist and Jungian analyst John Weir Perry, who called it the “renewal process” (Perry 1974, 1976, 1998). Because of its depth and intensity, this is the type of psychospiritual crisis that is most likely diagnosed as serious mental disease. The experiences of people involved in the renewal process are so strange, extravagant, and far from everyday reality that it seems obvious that some serious pathological process must be affecting the functioning of their brains.

Individuals involved in this kind of crisis experience their psyche as a colossal battlefield where a cosmic combat is being played out between the forces of Good and Evil, or Light and Darkness. They are preoccupied with the theme of death — ritual killing, sacrifice, martyrdom, and afterlife. The problem of opposites fascinates them, particularly issues related to the differences between sexes. They experience themselves as the center of fantastic events that have cosmic relevance and are important for the future of the world. Their visionary states tend to take them farther and farther back — through their own history and the history of humanity, all the way to the creation of the world and the original ideal state of paradise. In this process, they seem to strive for perfection, trying to correct things that went wrong in the past.

After a period of turmoil and confusion, the experiences become more and more pleasant and start moving toward a resolution. The process often culminates in the experience of hieros gamos, or “sacred marriage,” in which the individual is elevated to an illustrious or even divine status and experiences union with an equally distinguished partner. This indicates that the masculine and the feminine aspects of the personality are reaching a new balance. The sacred union can be experienced either with an imaginal archetypal figure, or is projected onto an idealized person from one's life, who then appears to be a karmic partner or a soul mate.

At this time, one can also have experiences involving what Jungian psychology interprets as symbols representing the Self, the transpersonal center that reflects our deepest and true nature and is related to, but not totally identical with, the Hindu concept of Atman-Brahman. In visionary states, it can appear in the form of a source of light of supernatural beauty, radiant spheres, precious stones and jewels, pearls, and other similar symbolic representations. Examples of this development from painful and challenging experiences to the discovery of one’s divinity can be found in John Perry’s books (Perry 1953, 1974, 1976) and in The Stormy Search for the Self, our own book on spiritual emergencies (Grof and Grof 1990).

At this stage of the process, these glorious experiences are interpreted as a personal apotheosis, a ritual celebration that raises one’s experience of oneself to a highly exalted human status or to a state above the human condition altogether — a great leader, a world savior, or even the Lord of the Universe. This is often associated with a profound sense of spiritual rebirth that replaces the earlier preoccupation with death. At the time of completion and integration, one usually envisions an ideal future — a new world governed by love and justice, where all ills and evils have been overcome. As the intensity of the process subsides, the person realizes that the entire drama was a psychological transformation that was limited to his or her inner world and did not involve external reality.

According to John Perry, the renewal process moves the individual in the direction of what Jung called “individuation” - a full realization and expression of one's deep potential. One aspect of Perry’s research deserves special notice, since it produced what is probably the most convincing evidence against simplistic biological understanding of psychoses. He was able to show that the experiences involved in the renewal process exactly match the main themes of royal dramas that were enacted in many ancient cultures on New Year’s Day.

These ritual dramas celebrating the advent of the new year were performed during what Perry calls “the archaic era of incarnated myth.” This was the period in the history of these cultures when the rulers were considered to be incarnated gods and not ordinary human beings. Examples of such God/kings were the Egyptian pharaohs, the Peruvian Incas, the Hebrew and Hittite kings, or the Chinese and Japanese emperors (Perry 1991).

The positive potential of the renewal process and its deep connection with archetypal symbolism and with specific periods of human history represents a very compelling argument against the theory that these experiences are chaotic pathological products of diseased brains. They are clearly closely connected with the evolution of consciousness on the individual and collective level.

 

 

Edited July 13, 2021 by Loba
I don't think it's nonsense, I just think differently than most people. I don't always get easily translatable stuff either, I also don't care what others think because it's for me not them. That's how it should be, too. I like the format, though. Aligns.

[Loba]

Quote

 

I'm here, you're there
Come closer, tonight I'm lonely
Come here with me
I want it the way it used to be

What is left of love?
Tell me, who would even care?
So much time has passed
I'd still meet you anywhere
Water under bridge
Evening after day
What is left of love
Here that didn't drift away?

I can remember days of sun
We knew our lives had just begun
We could do anything, we're fearless when we're young
Under the moon, address unknown
I can remember nights in Rome
I thought that love would last, a promise set in stone

I'd survive with only memories
If I could change the way I feel
But I want more than only memories
A human touch to make them real

Another day, another dream
Over the bridge an empty scene
We'd spend the weekend lost in bed and float upstream
I don't know why we moved away
Lost in the here and now we strayed
Into a New York zone, our promise was betrayed

I was there, caught on Tenth Avenue
You elsewhere with Culver City blues
Then and there I knew that I'd lost you

What is left of love?
Tell me, who will even care?
So much time has passed
I'd still meet you anywhere
Water under bridge
Evening after day
What is left of love
Here that didn't drift away?

Don't give me all your northern pain
Don't sell me New York in the rain
Let's leave our promises behind
Rewind and try again

What remains in time that didn't fade away?
Sometimes I need to see
The way it used to be

Quote

"Bat shit crazy", has been on my mind.  Transmuting it and accepting it.  I'm naming this "Upside Down", because it looks cool that way, too.

Rats with wings.  Chicken of the cave.  Upside down cake - birthday - a shaman woman in a robe - spirit coming from the top of her head.
"On the mind or all in the mind"  The cake could mean "Success!" or perhaps an initiation like "Happy Birthday".
I might have found something new.  Or nothing at all and it's all in my head.
I don't like this, to be honest, but I like the style of it - and am excited to try something similar with a few different subjects and see what I get from it.

I'm gunna make a bunch and take them to galleries and see if people would buy them, but I need to do like ten more, maybe 20.
I'm in a process of refinement.  I plan to, on page ten, go through each page, the first day going through and the second reflecting on what I have learned.  I'm nervous to see myself.  I never look at what I write.  I think it will offer a lot in the way of growth though.

 

Edited July 14, 2021 by Loba
I've lost all caring on what other people think of me. It just... went away. I care about norms and etiquette, but passing critique doesn't phase me anymore. I'm just one of the people. I want to float in the crowds and am very, very allergic to humans.

[Loba]

Quote

"If I am, death is not. If death is, I am not. Why fear that which can not be while I am?" -Epicurus

I need to practice more often, but it is just a start.  I'm ok with the result as the start of a style of intuitive artwork.  Trauma/mental illness artwork often has this kind of style to it.

 

Edited July 14, 2021 by Loba
Meet my monkey mind.

[Loba]

Quote

Note:  Upside down = top down awakening.

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A Top-Down awakening in simple terms means that your crown and third eye chakras are open and that you have quite a bit of energy surrounding your head and shoulders. Basically, you are receiving input from the heaven/sky but not the earth. Due to genetics, spiritual pursuits, or other reasons you have opened yourself to the divine, to spirit, and to the different and hidden layers of realty. It is fairly easy actually to open to spirit and to begin to be more connected to spiritual matters.

Many people end up with this type of awakening because they became interested in spiritual pursuits, started attending classes, doing drugs, reading literature, and finding gurus and other teachers who show them how to seek outside of themselves. Others begin life with a top-down awakening due to family history of psychic abilities or previous life abilities carried forward into this life.

The issue with this type of awakening is that it is not grounded in anything. It is not required to do much personal work or to open your first three chakras to have this type of awakening. The person experiencing this type of awakening begins to separate from this earth, this reality. They often will claim to not want to be here, or to originate from elsewhere. This very much may be true, but a recognition of the human body, the body that you are carrying this lifetime, and a desire to be grounded and do personal work, which is often quite difficult, is necessary for a full awakening or to come to a state of balance if you are experiencing this type of awakening.

This is a significant energetic imbalance, and the energetic field of the experiencer often appears to look like an inverted cone. Often the experiencer is partially or fully out of their bodies/disassociated, and they prefer to remain this way. They feel different and separate from everyone else, and some remain in elaborately set up illusions of their own creation. This is because they Top-Down awakened has awakened enough to be able to manifest, but for this group it is rarely on a conscious level- so the creation of significant blocks, illusions, and other issues of a spiritual and physical nature is quite common due a relay of unprocessed personal and emotional material creating reality for them.

A Top-Down awakening can be extremely beneficial to open psychic abilities. It gives you the ability to connect with spirit, and the ultimate ability to connect to true divinity.

This type of awakening is BY FAR the most common awakening to get stuck in. It also can be the most dangerous because it creates an environment energetically where you are not quite a part of any reality. With the ability to easily shift through dimensions, times, perspectives, and being fully or partially out of your body, it creates opportunity for other energies to attach, and for you to lose a sense of identity or purpose. Without the support that earth and grounding offers, it is difficult to filter the intense energies that are coming through. The more the lower chakras are blocked the worse the imbalance is.

"Sky kisses earth"

Quote

Genesis - Chapter 2

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.
And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.
So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.
These are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens.
When no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up -- for the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the land, and there was no make to work the ground,
and a mist was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the ground --

then Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.
And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.
And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food.  The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

A river flowed out of Eden to water the garden, and there it divided and became four rivers.
The name of the first is the Pishon.  It is the one that flowed around the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold.
And the gold of that land is good; bdellium and onyx stone are there.
The name of the second river is Gihon.  It is the one that flowed around the whole land of Cush.
And the name of the third river is the Tigris, which flows east of Assyria.  And the forth river is the Euphrates.
The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.
And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden,
"but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die."

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good  that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."
Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them.  And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.
The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field.  But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of a Man."
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

wip

• https://www.sciencenewsforstudents.org/article/scientists-say-petrichor
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_magic
• https://cherylebannon.com/what-is-intuitive-art/

 

Edited July 16, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Quote

• https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-top-down-spiritual-awakening
  Hmmmmn... I need to do a grounding practice and a daily devotional ritual.  Both can be done once we move away from here... there is a house we are going to look at on Saturday that I really want us to get.  It has a view of the mountains.  I would inherit it along with my brother.  Anyways, it would solve a lot of head in the clouds problems.

 

Quote

Genesis - Chapter 3

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.  He said to the woman, "Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden'?"
And the woman said to the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden,
but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'"
But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die.
"For God know that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her and he ate.

Then the eyes of both were opened and they knew that they were naked.  And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?"
And he said, "I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself."
He said, "Who told you that you were naked?  Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?"
The man said, "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate."
Then the Lord God said to the woman, "What is this that you have done?"  The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

The Lord God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and above all beasts of the field, on your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life.
I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heal."
To the woman he said, "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.  Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you."
And to Adam he said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, 'You shall not eat of it,' cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
"thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field.
"By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return."
The man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.
And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.
Then the Lord God said, "Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil.  Now, lest he reach out his hand and take  also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever --"
therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken.
He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life.

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wip, old picture I am finishing just for the sake of it.  reminds me of girl with a pearl earring.  shading and linework is good, anatomy and perspective need improvement. 

Quote

Key words: love, god, unity, heart, soul, death, afterlife, reincarnation, spirit, journey, home, wholeness, new music, inspiration, honing talent, give me something that explains my innards properly, fixing delusion, faith, Light, illumination, being, I feel like I am in my apartment in Seattle even though I know I am here.  I will always remember what it felt like to be there, a lot of karma came unraveled there.  The energy for the new tenants will be "off" "sick" "entropy", and they will notice it if they are sensitive.  I will miss that place. 
I apologize for my small mindedness, someday I will break free.  I see it.  I grab at it.

Possible new home - look at the view!

 

Edited July 17, 2021 by Loba
Some of these songs really suck, but they're good theme-wise, like art and stuff.... I'm learning a lot, but I am having an inspirational dry spell and am just sort of going to kick back and relax at the moment until I feel inspired again.

[Loba]

Quote

• A guide to intuitive painting

 

• 

Quote

(I like to have a beer and work on art.)

Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, "I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord."
And again, she bore his brother Abel.  Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground.
In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground,
and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions.  And the lord had regard for Abel and his offering.
but for Cain and his offering he had no regard.  So Cain was very angry, and his face fell.
The Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?"
"If you do well, will you not be accepted?  And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door.  Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it."
Cain spoke to Abel his brother.  And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.
Then the lord said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?"  He said, "I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?"
And the Lord said, "What have you done?  The voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground.
"And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand."

Kids of the night, we dance and we roll
Pull up on us quick, got out and I, yeah, yeah
Pull around here with the lights down low
No telling round here how bad it might go, yeah
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh

Ever stared into the nighttime?
Never trust a soul, not on my time
Reach to the sky for a lifeline, I'm blind
Creatures in the night closing in, like
Cadillac, it's rollin' quick, it'll take a bag
Take ya life, they want it quick
They wanna blast, let 'em have it
Let 'em see me, since they want me so badly
Want me so badly

"When you work the ground, it shall no longer yield to you its strength.  You shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on earth."
Cain said to the Lord, "My punishment is greater than I can bear.
"Behold, you have driven me today away from the ground, and from your face I shall be hidden.  I shall be a fugitive and wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds e will kill me."
Then the Lord said to him, "Not so!  If anyone kills Cain, vengeance shall bet taken on him sevenfold."  And the Lord put a mark on Cain, lest any who found him should attack him.
Then Cain went away from the presence of the Lord and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.
Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch.  When he built a city, he called the name of the city after the name of his son, Enoch.
To Enoch was born and Irad, and Irad fathered Mehujael, and Mehujael fathered Methushael, and Methushael fathered Lamech.
And Lamech took two wives.  The name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other was Zillah.
Adah bore Jabal, he was the father of those who dwell in tents and have livestock.

Kids of the night, we dance and we roll
Pull up on us quick, got out and I, yeah, yeah
Pull around here with the lights down low
No telling round here how bad it might go, yeah
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh

On the hood of the car going 80
It ain't the first time
Nobody cares, we're unwanted and crazy
And if we die tonight
We'll be free, don't know just where we'll be
Don't care too much really
We gon' run another mile, yeah, we ruthless
Kids of the night, thought you knew this

His brother's name was Jubal; he was the father of all those who play a lyre and pipe.
Zillah also bore Tubal-cain; he was the forger of all instruments of bronze and iron.  The sister of Tubal-cain was Naamah.
Lamech said to his wives: "Adah and Zillah, hear my voice, you wives of Lamech, listen to what I say: I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me.
"If Cain's revenge is sevenfold, then Lamech's is seventy-sevenfold."
And Adam knew his wife again,
and she bore a son and called his name Seth, for she said, "God has appointed for me another offspring instead of Abel, for Cain killed him."
To Seth also a son was born, and he called him name Enosh.  At that time people began to call upon the name of the Lord.

Kids of the night, we dance and we roll
Pull up on us quick, got out and I, yeah, yeah
Pull around here with the lights down low
No telling round here how bad it might go, yeah
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh

Kids of the night, we dance and we roll
Pull up on us quick, got out and I, yeah, yeah
Pull around here with the lights down low
No telling round here how bad it might go, yeah
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh
Sleep with the one eye, oh

We gon' run another mile, yeah, we ruthless
Kids of the night, thought you knew this
(Finished it and framed it.  It looks a lot better in person.  Magically shiny.)

• 

 

 

 

Edited July 18, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

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Reposted from the music section.

If I was to describe the Devil's energy, it would be these three things in succession.  

It would be like right under your nose, and a part of you too, as the collective delusion/script/insanity that human culture is supposed to follow.
I call it "the man", and you're not supposed to see it.  It's a soul sucker, but what it 'is', I don't really know.
People like me are labeled crazy for seeing it.

Play these two songs together at the same time:
The underworld sounds like being on a train, having your own bubble and a bunch of people "stuck" in karma, crying out asking for redemption for how they died - you remain stuck in your cycles after death - and them moving me through - like being in a train made of them, moving through a tunnel of despair and not having it touch me - and so the pain feels more like a muscle stretch and there is a deep, immense love.
And a wish for everyone to be "saved" from their karma - this creates an immense amount of light within a person.

Strange siddhi, just wanted to share what survival energy looks/feels like.

Native Americans/shamans call this "thing" Wetiko, or a Wendigo and it has infected the human race.
But of course, I'm crazy for seeing it and being weirded out by the fact that humans are run by parasitic ideologies.  

Notes:

• tbc

Sometimes I will see its roots in our cities and feel enamored by it a bit and have a longing to understand not just how cities work, but how an archetype could move from one generation to the next to create art out of human gluttony.  How could you compete with "the man", it's its own thing all in itself.  It is in everything.

@4:03 - This looks like a little brown bat with wings, and when I first saw this that is how I knew I was going to be shot up that night - because these things said to me that they are literally like domino chain reactions, and it created an entire evolutionary chain reaction just to let me know at that moment, when the lights went out near the bat's head.

"With you?  You crazy, you're still a baby."
It was a HUGE diss on humanity. - that's how far behind I am as a human being - we are tiny little pieces.  I felt like I was being shown a "house" in a way with this music video.  It saved my life, though.

The sign says "Underground" - the song: King's Cross.  Subway station.

Katabasis or catabasis (Ancient Greek: κατάβασις, from κατὰ "down" and βαίνω "go") is a descent of some type, such as moving downhill, the sinking of the winds or sun, a military retreat, a trip to the underworld, or a trip from the interior of a country down to the coast. The term has multiple related meanings in poetry, rhetoric, and modern psychology.

Solar barques were the vessels used by the sun god Ra in ancient Egyptian mythology. During the day, Ra was said to use a vessel called the Mandjet (Ancient Egyptian: mꜥnḏt) or the Boat of Millions of Years (Ancient Egyptian: wjꜣ-n-ḥḥw), and the vessel he used during the night was known as the Mesektet (Ancient Egyptian: msktt).

Ra was said to travel through the sky on the barge, providing light to the world. Each twelfth of his journey formed one of the twelve Egyptian hours of the day, each overseen by a protective deity. Ra then rode the barque through the underworld, with each hour of the night considered a gate overseen by twelve more protective deities. Passing through all of these while fending off various destructive monsters, Ra reappeared each day on the eastern horizon. He was said to travel across the sky in the Mandjet Barque through the hours of the day, and then switch to the Mesektet Barque to descend into the underworld for the hours of the night.

The progress of Ra upon the Mandjet was sometimes conceived as his daily growth, decline, death, and resurrection and it appears in the symbology of Egyptian mortuary texts.

• Katabasis
• Solar barque

Notes:

• Condition for being a hero.  If a man wants to become a hero, the snake must first become a dragon: otherwise he is lacking his proper enemy.
• Our age has been called many things, but an age of cowards may best describe it given the immense fear, anxiety and helplessness that most people display even in the face of trivial threats.
• We are not a generation that moves forward into the uncertain future in a bold and heroic manner, instead most people fear the future and prefer safety, comfort and ease of life to risk taking, experimentation and freedom.
• Frank Furedi writes: Young people are socialized to feel fragile and overawed by uncertainty and as a result, the defining feature of the current Western 21st century version of personhood is its vulnerability.
• Although society still upholds the ideal of self-determination and autonomy, the values 

Quote

https://seattle.craigslist.org/skc/reb/d/seattle-great-house-for-sale-with-dadu/7350432137.html - Unique house with a dadu

 

 

Edited July 22, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

I will repost as I add more onto this, here is my current project.  I am drawing this cat from memory.  I need to practice anatomy and this is an attempt at seeing where I am at as I have not done art consistently like this in a long time.  Progress so far.  No expectations, just practicing for now.  Inspired by Louis Wain and Lisa Frank.
My shaman's bag of random pretties.  These are my fav spiritual books so far - and what I use or plan to use in my practice.

Quote

 =

+++

     :     =

++++++

Take action now before you try to stop it. 
Love can be overwhelming at first sight.

AI Generated Fortune Cookies

Quote

• Didn't I warn you not to?
  Didn't I warn you good?
  Maybe we couldn't help it
  Maybe we never should

  Didn't I say it slowly?
  Didn't I make it clear?
  Is it unfair to ask you?
  Why it is you're still here?

  You cut your teeth on the lack of answers, singing
  Come back home and it don't feel the same
  Well I've bled words onto a page for you
  And you never knew my name

  Didn't I make it harder?
  Didn't I leave you that?
  Was it too much to ask you?
  Why it is you still care?

  You cut your teeth on the lack of answers, singing
  Come back home and it don't feel the same
  Well I've bled words onto a page for you
  And you never knew my name

  You cut your teeth on the lack of answers, singing
  Come back home and it don't feel the same
  Well I've bled words onto a page for you
  And you never knew my name

 

Edited July 27, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Delete this later...
Spent Sunday looking at new homes, the family likes this one: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1220-E-Chicago-St-Kent-WA-98030/48767079_zpid/
It has one level, no steps, perfect for old retirees with bad knees.

We are having an open house for our own home this upcoming weekend.  It's all happening so fast.  I have lived here for six years and them there for fourteen.

I have been recoiling from my dunning-kruger's lately.  One delusion after the other smashed to pieces.  

Winter path.  The dark forest is inside of your soul. 
There is so much work involved in spirituality.  You can't get by off of fearing for your life forever, because eventually you get to whatever you can understand from that worked through or seen or whatever.

I've had a lot of telling dreams lately, but...
I can't remember them, I know the information from them is something that I should not know yet.

Cleaning my old place rn, wearing rabbit ears and a tail.  I won't get a chance to do this for a long time.  My cats miss me a lot.  I wish I could bring them to my folk's.  We plan to bring them to the new home all on the same day.

This train channel is so relaxing, I love it so much.

I feel hopeful, excited for the change, also nervous for it.

Btw, machine elves can trick you with insights fyi.  Or you can go down the wrong rabbit hole. -.-

"Can I believe you?"  
I don't know.  I don't care.

They think the place will sell within two weeks.

I should apologize for my behaviour but to be honest it opens up a door then and I am just so shy.
I am afraid of apologizing to people and am not sure why.

We, we are hardly sinners (woah)
I think I'm stuck at the beginning (woah)
We, we are hardly living (woah)
And all we have is our decisions, woah

Ooh, I'm going to try
Ooh, to stay alive
I was told once "it's natural to die"
I know I'm fated but it don't feel right

It don't feel right
It don't feel right
It don't feel right
It don't feel right

You, who are you kidding? (Woah)
And you are hardly ever giving (woah)
You, you're always sinning (woah)
But all we have is our decisions, woah

Ooh, I'm going to try
Ooh, to stay alive
I was told once "it's natural to die"
I know I'm fated but it don't feel right

It don't feel right
It don't feel right
It don't feel right
It don't feel right

I got a hell scare a few months ago and ever since have been trying to change it around.

I think it is working - but it's like my art, kind of goes into depth but still it's just made of bit and pieces and there is nothing solid there - I can imitate well, I feel.  Just let me go before I'm 40 and I'll be okay.  I'm 33 and look 24 - everyone goes, "You're 33?!?!" , I just... I feel young.  I don't know if I could keep up with what is expected of me as an adult and that is part of the game.  I don't really want to play.

You cut your teeth on the lack of answers, singing
Come back home and it don't feel the same
Well I've bled words onto a page for you
And you never knew my name

This city is my city.  Something like it.  My office, my workspace.

Die for now, the end
Powers of love
Falls off the edge, falls out young
Falls off the edge, falls off love
As dark comes at night
We fall with somebody else

Die for now, the end
Powers of love
Falls off the edge, falls out young
Falls off the edge, falls off love
As dark comes at night
We fall with somebody else

As winter takes me now
Of cold and clammy skin
A barren empty womb
As I am born again
It's pulling at my hair
And crawling all within
A gentle beating heart
Is swept away by sin

Die for now, the end
Powers of love
Falls off the edge, falls out young
Falls off the edge, falls off love
As dark comes at night
We fall with somebody else

The monster in your head
Won't surface again
Be still my child
Wash away the sin
And I as future kings
Walk off the edge
Hold me by my name
Hold me 'til the end

I feel fated for something, but I don't know what.  Could be another lie.  "The Winter Path".  I should look into what that is.  My blood, my veins.  A perfect office view in a nearly empty city.  What does any of it mean?

Bodies disengaged our mouths are fleshing over.
Is this an echo game irises retreating
To ovals of white.
The urge to feel your face
And blood rushing to paint my hand print
A Frisbee one by one
Your vinyl on laminate
Desperate for some kind of contact.

First train home I've got to get on it
First train home I've got to get on it
First train home I've got to get on it
To Catch to catch to catch catch catch.
First train home I've got to get on it
First train home I've got to get on it
First train home I've got to get on it
First Train home

Temporal dead zone where clocks are barely breathing
Yet no one cares to notice for all the yelling
All night clamor to hold it together.
I want to play don't wait forms in the hideaway
I want to get on with getting on with things
I want to run in fields paint the kitchen
And love someone
And I can't do any of that here can I?

First train home I've got to get on it
First train home I've got to get on it
First train home I've got to get on it
First Train home

So what? You've had one too many.
So what? I'm not that much fun to be with
So what? You've got a silly hat on
So what? I didn't want to come here anyway.

What matters to you doesn't matter matter to me.
What matters to me doesn't matter matter to you.
What matters to you doesn't matter matter to them.
What matters to them it doesn't change anything.

Got to get on it first train home
Got to get on it first train home

First train home I've got to get on it
(I've got to get on it)
To catch to catch to catch-catch catch.
(First train home)
First train home I've got to get on it
First train home.
(First train home)

To go to go to go
Get get get get
Out out out out
Now now now now

 

Edited July 28, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

Notes:  

Been a while since I've gotten back into this, but I think it is time to try and forgive some instances in my life.  I want to move to this new home feeling new myself.  I want to bring good energy into it.

• https://www.kalicollective.com/blog/2018/5-ways-to-invoke-the-energy-of-the-goddess-kali  ?
• https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/talk-to-the-goddess/  ?

I can see every color in you
And I can feel every color in me
I can see every color in you
And I can feel every color in me
I can see

Quote

To work on:

• Forgiveness
• Bitterness
• Self-Hatred to Self-Love
• Confidence
• Acceptance

I think I can, I think I can.  (I'm high as a kite rn.)  

• "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
• Grudges accumulate in your subconscious mind if you do not learn to forgive.

Template to forgive and heal from any and all wrongdoings:
I hope this helps clear up chronic near daily dissociation.

(The algorithm Gods are being so good to me tonight.  I'm totally vibin' tonight.  Back in Seattle, got my little cat Rusty with me.  Just fed him some chicken.  He's doing good, looking a little fat...  )

Quote

• https://www.learnreligions.com/sigillum-dei-aemeth-96044

The Sigillum Dei (seal of God, or signum dei vivi, symbol of the living God, called by John Dee the Sigillum Dei Aemeth) is a magical diagram, composed of two circles, a pentagram, two heptagons, and one heptagram, and is labeled with the name of God and his angels. It was an amulet (amuletum) with the magical function that, according to one of the oldest sources (Liber Juratus), allowed the initiated magician to have power over all creatures except Archangels, but usually only reserved for those who can achieve the blessed vision of God and angels (beatific visionary).

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatific_vision ?️

In Christian theology, the beatific vision (Latin: visio beatifica) is the ultimate direct self-communication of God to the individual person. A person possessing the beatific vision reaches, as a member of redeemed humanity in the communion of saints, perfect salvation in its entirety, i.e. heaven. The notion of vision stresses the intellectual component of salvation, though it encompasses the whole of human experience of joy, happiness coming from seeing God finally face to face and not imperfectly through faith. (1 Cor 13:11–12).

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradiso_(Dante)

The Primum Mobile ("first moved" sphere) is the last sphere of the physical universe. It is moved directly by God, and its motion causes all the spheres it encloses to move (Canto XXVII):

The immediate knowledge of God which the angelic spirits and the souls of the just enjoy in Heaven. It is called "vision" to distinguish it from the mediate knowledge of God which the human mind may attain in the present life. And since in beholding God face to face the created intelligence finds perfect happiness, the vision is termed "beatific."

The beatific vision is when God, though transcendent, opens himself up to man and gives man the capacity to contemplate God in his heavenly glory. Contemplation is the prayer of silently focusing on God and heeding his word; in other words, contemplation is the prayer of uniting with God. The beatific vision, then, is ultimate union with God; indeed, it comes from sharing in God's holy nature via sanctifying grace. Because God is beatitude and holiness itself, the beatific vision entails ultimate beatitude and holiness. The beatific vision is a grace and a privilege intended for every man and angel, since God created men and angels to enjoy the beatific vision; the beatific vision is the ultimate purpose of each person's and angel's life.

I finally found a name for this phenomenon.

• Start with something light - takes 30-60 minutes uninterrupted:
• Forgive Lizzy.  First person to come to mind.  Used to be my best friend.  Pick a specific situation where you feel some injustice remains.
• Close your eyes, relax and clear your mind for five minutes.  Stopped about 7:30 mins in.
  • Quote

    January's winter clouds
    The bed laid-out, pillows abound
    Everything to gain means everything to lose
    And if I shaved my head, put on a dress
    You realised I'm a dirty mess
    Would you still love me?
    Hold your breath, now count to two
    One
    Two
    
    What if you leave me?
    What if this ends?
    Would my friends, they believe me?
    Would it even matter then?
    And what if the sky falls in a fiery blend?
    Tell me how this will end
    
    What if you leave me?
    What if this ends?
    Would my friends, they believe me?
    Would it even matter then?
    And what if the sky falls in a fiery blend?
    Tell me how this will end
    Tell me how this will end
    
    What if the sky falls in a fiery blend?
    Tell me how this will end

    How I met her:
    We met at a small alternative high school.  We were both having issues with our families and were being scapegoated as the problem when the real issues that were causing issues were ignored and thrown under the rug.  Her mom had died when she was young and she met her step mom before the real mom died.  They combined families a year after and there was not enough time to grieve, she felt.  We would skip class to smoke weed or go for hikes and became really close, like sisters.  We had been through some weird experiences together.

Lizzy Lizzy Lizzy.  You bitch.  What happened that night really pissed me off.  You happen to be the first person I think of, but there are other events that are also just as annoying to work through.  I don't really feel that way now that I've written it.  I've never written something like that about her before.  I feel resentment for how I was treated.  And sadness.  But I am also over it.  Mostly.  Rrr.  Betrayed.  In retrospect, you were not a good friend but there was a lot of love there anyways.

That's how I feel about the whole thing, I really can't put it into words. @2:00 mins
I don't really care about most things, to be honest.  I feel neutral.  Ultimately, I just want my luminosity.
I got it a few times today.

 

Edited August 8, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

I'll have to spend some serious time on this if I want to work through it properly.  I might use the whole page 8 just for forgiveness alone - for however long it takes and then move onto the next thing. 
I have been thinking a lot about Lizzy lately, and I don't want to give away too much info, so I'll keep it pretty vague.  Probably for a lot of things.  

• My future YouTube Channel ?️?️

Organized all my likes; all nine-thousand plus of them.  I'm hoping it will make my channel look more active.  I plan to start a YouTube channel soon, where at the tail end of my drawings, I show myself doing the fine details for maybe ten minutes before the picture is completed.
I've never tried to do a channel before, but I've noticed that people like to watch others drawing things.  I have a soothing voice as well and so I could talk sometimes.  Maybe not right away, but eventually.  Social media is not something I am skilled with, so this will be a learning curve for sure.

"Bright Girl!"  ?

If you cross your eyes and then slowly bring them back into focus, the moon will overlay with the eclipse.  The images look well blended together.  It looks like the moon is moving across the sky until the two points meet, with the eclipse just above the moon.

I found Kali in the outer environment last night as well.  I had stopped what I was doing to observe the darkness in between two trees outside.  The lights from the house gave them a golden-brown hue, in stark contrast to the near pitch black forest in between them.  Occasionally a car would drive by the road and light up the branches in the darkness and it looked like a far away lightening.

 

"Out there."
"Way out there..."
Is Kali.  The deep, untamable wilderness.  She is a loving, primordial, Gaia-like force that exists outside of time.  You have to come to the end of your karma to See her and she is kind of spooky sometimes.  Like a liquid-shadow-oil of Truth.  The pure darkness is warm.  It smells sweet and fresh, and the two lit tree trunks act as guiding posts into the vastness that is Kali.  She is everything that you don't know about the end of time itself.  A stillness and a storm.  She is not a goddess that one would be comfortable meeting, unless you can handle the pitch black night, the void, the expanse that is nature's True call.  I hope to walk through it someday and find myself in a snowy forest at night.  I won't feel the cold, only the softness. The best part will be running on it.
"Freedom."

The call of the wild.  The winter path.  The burial grounds.  ??
The darkness, the snow, is quiet.  Timeless.  Peaceful.  Nothing but the softness of powder and a warm, moonlit glow.  This wilderness is nurturing, despite an initial first glance into the darkness.  You might be spooked.  I was.  It's an eerie place that offers nothing for the living, yet everything for the dead.  Innocent.  Pristine.  Clean.  

You can't hide from who you are
The light peels back the dark
You can run, but you won't make it far
You can't hide from who you are
You can't hide from who you are

You can't run, run, run
From the smoking gun
Caught in the crosshairs
Of the things we've done
There's no hiding place
Not a secret safe
What is lost will be found
When the truth hunts you down

The image takes its shape
With every step you take, closer
The past will show its face
You can't hide from your mistakes

You can't run, run, run
From the smoking gun
Caught in the crosshairs
Of the things we've done
There's no hiding place
Not a secret safe
What is lost will be found
When the truth hunts you down

You can't run, run, run
From the smoking gun
Caught in the crosshairs
Of the things we've done
There's no hiding place
Not a secret safe
What is lost will be found
(What is lost will be found)

You can't run, run, run
From the smoking gun
Caught in the crosshairs
Of the things we've done
There's no hiding place
Not a secret safe
What is lost will be found
(What is lost will be found)
When the truth hunts you down

It'll look cool when it's closer to being done.

• Marijuana and the Goddess

Edited August 11, 2021 by Loba

[Loba]

Quote

 

Quote

• Scrying

Scrying, also known by various names such as "seeing" or "peeping", is the practice of looking into a suitable medium in the hope of detecting significant messages or visions. The objective might be personal guidance, prophecy, revelation, or inspiration, but down the ages, scrying in various forms also has been a prominent means of divination or fortune-telling. It remains popular in occult circles, discussed in many media, both modern and centuries old.

Always want to see through your eyes
To find the most primitive wildness.
I never thought I’d break in.
The tranquility of a whole forest
You breathe.
The blue velvet wraps my body
And the humming of the ocean
I’ll never wake up.
I can.
Hide in your body.
Into the warmth of you
Hide in your body.
Into the warmth of you
Always want to see through your eyes
To find the reflection of daffodils.
I didn’t expect to see it in the end.
A whole universe of stars

This second

Just want to drown in love

The world is ice.

Let her be ice.

I can.

Hide in your body.

Into the warmth of you

Hide in your body.
Hide in your body.
Into the warmth of you
Hide in your body.
Into the warmth of you

Quote

This was an accident
Not the kind where sirens sound
Never even noticed
We're suddenly crumbling

Tell me how you've never felt
Delicate or innocent
Do you still have doubts that us
Having faith makes any sense?

Tell me nothing ever counts
Lashing out or breaking down
Still somebody loses
'Cause there's no way to turn around

Staring at your photograph
Everything now in the past
Never felt so lonely
I wish that you could show me love

Show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
Show me love till you open the door

Show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
Show me love till I'm up off the floor

Show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
Show me love till it's inside my pores

Show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
Show me love till I'm screaming for more

Random acts of mindlessness
Commonplace occurrences
Chances and surprises
Another state of consciousness

Tell me nothing ever counts
Lashing out or breaking down
Still somebody loses
'Cause there's no way to turn around

Tell me how you've never felt
Delicate or innocent
Do you still have doubts that us
Having faith makes any sense?

You play games, I play tricks
Girls and girls, but you're the one
Like a game of pick-up-sticks
Played by... lunatics

Show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
Show me love till you open the door

Show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
Show me love till I'm up off the floor

Show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
Show me love till it's inside my pores

Show me love, show me love
Show me love, show me love
Show me love till I'm screaming for more

Show me love, show me love
Give me all that I want
Show me love, show me love
Give me all that I want

Show me love, show me love
Give me all that I want
Show me love, show me love
Till I'm screaming for more

Mama, Papa
Forgive me

The Goddess Kali is Here.
Karma comes with her, but once you accept it - it's not so bad.
She requests... Bhakti Yoga.

 A good description of Beatific vision.

 

Edited August 13, 2021 by Loba