How do you guys meditate without going crazy?

[Carl-Richard]

19 minutes ago, Craigxt22 said:

I was going to start a new thread,

 

I've been meditating for upto 3 hours, but usually around 2 hour for the last 2 weeks, and I feel like I am going crazy now. I am having panic attacks occur out of no where (when I am not meditating), racing heart rate which lasts for hours. I feel really scared and I don't even know why. I keep feeling as is if I'm about to die, or that I have coronavirus but have no symptoms.

 

Has anyone else gone through this? It feels as if I am typing towards myself, and that if anyone writes back that it is just text generated by another part of me. I wish this would stop it's really scaring me, I wish I never started this. I was having good progress from meditation a few months back, but ever since I ramped upto 2 hours I have random episodes of mania and can't sleep properly. I woke up in the middle of the night a few days ago with my heart pumping out my chest, I thought I was having a heart attack, then I calmed back down.

This is enlightenment. Ta-da. You have two possible outcomes: either you learn to live with these changes and keep on meditating as an enlightened person, or you stop meditating and pretend like you're not an enlightened person. I experienced what you're experiencing and I ended up doing the latter, but it's really painful and I don't recommend it.

[Megan Alecia]

Y'all talk Leo now lol

[Craigxt22]

12 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

This is enlightenment. Ta-da. You have two possible outcomes: either you learn to live with these changes and keep on meditating as an enlightened person, or you stop meditating and pretend like you're not an enlightened person. I experienced what you're experiencing and I ended up doing the latter, but it's really painful and I don't recommend it.

You don't even exist why are you acting like a real person, this is really starting to play with my head,

 

Sorry if you are real, and I sound rude I didn't mean it like that, but right now I feel as if this some huge joke being played on me

[Craigxt22]

Leo's signature is scaring me where it says I am him, I don't know if I am thinking that I am him, but it felt very obvious and real that I am him about 10 minutes ago. Why are you making this hard for me, I just want this fear to leave

 

 

[Carl-Richard]

9 minutes ago, Craigxt22 said:

You don't even exist why are you acting like a real person, this is really starting to play with my head,

 

Sorry if you are real, and I sound rude I didn't mean it like that, but right now I feel as if this some huge joke being played on me

You're experiencing the absoluteness of consciousness. From that perspective, I'm not real. However, "persons" still exist in a relative sense. You are a person, I am a person, but ultimately we are one.

Edited February 6, 2021 by Carl-Richard

[Carl-Richard]

4 minutes ago, Craigxt22 said:

Leo's signature is scaring me where it says I am him, I don't know if I am thinking that I am him, but it felt very obvious and real that I am him about 10 minutes ago. Why are you making this hard for me, I just want this fear to leave

Like I said, you can pretend like you're a mind inside a body and after a while the fear might seem to disappear. However, it never "really" disappears. It really just moves to the background as you momentarily get caught up in limited identification.

Edited February 6, 2021 by Carl-Richard

[Craigxt22]

15 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

Like I said, you can pretend like you're a mind inside a body and after a while the fear might seem to disappear. However, it never "really" disappears. It really just moves to the background as you momentarily get caught up in limited identification.

Yeah I've watched all of Leo's videos since 2017 and understand alot of this stuff in theory. Now it is feeling very real and not theory, except it's not pleasant at all.

 

I meditated for only 40 minutes earlier and now it feels like I am on mushrooms without the visuals, how the hell can meditation do that

 

(It feels like you know what I have done today and what I am going through, and you're just acting as if you don't know, so it makes me think that you are real. I'm sorry if that sounds rude)

Edited February 6, 2021 by Craigxt22

[Carl-Richard]

4 hours ago, Craigxt22 said:

Yeah I've watched all of Leo's videos since 2017 and understand alot of this stuff in theory. Now it is feeling very real and not theory, except it's not pleasant at all.

It might seem unpleasant right now, but you'll get used to it over time. Atleast now you know what it's all about. Maybe if you don't like it, take some time off to figure out why you're reacting this way and how you can fix it.

 

Edited February 6, 2021 by Carl-Richard

[SilentTears]

9 hours ago, Craigxt22 said:

Leo's signature is scaring me where it says I am him, I don't know if I am thinking that I am him, but it felt very obvious and real that I am him about 10 minutes ago. Why are you making this hard for me, I just want this fear to leave

The things that helped me the most is just being. Allowing whatever comes up or however I feel to be okay. It’s very intuitive when your at this point and just know it will all work out. You got this man! 

P.S try getting you feet in some soil. See if that helps at all. Nature helps a lot. 

[Carl-Richard]

53 minutes ago, SilentTears said:

The things that helped me the most is just being. Allowing whatever comes up or however I feel to be okay. It’s very intuitive when your at this point and just know it will all work out. You got this man! 

P.S try getting you feet in some soil. See if that helps at all. Nature helps a lot. 

Have you ever faced the death of your own prime identification mechanism? It ain't no joke. "Being" and "accepting" only exacerbates it. To truly stop it from happening, you must fight it hard. However, it's ultimately a fool's errand, because you're essentially fighting yourself. You're denying what "is". Accepting is of course also the better solution, but sometimes it can feel like it's not the right time.

Edited February 7, 2021 by Carl-Richard

[Craigxt22]

Yeah thanks, I don't feel so crazy today. Although last night I kept waking up at random times with some weird, but pretty intense energy (?) flowing around my body, mainly around my stomach, heart and throat if I can pin point it correctly. Anyone else had this?

 

If I told a doctor they'd probably get me sectioned if I tried explaining to them the last 24hours.

[Craigxt22]

14 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

It might seem unpleasant right now, but you'll get used to it over time. Atleast now you know what it's all about. Maybe if you don't like it, take some time off to figure out why you're reacting this way and how you can fix it.

 

That video was helpful and interesting

[SilentTears]

On 2/6/2021 at 9:33 PM, Carl-Richard said:

Have you ever faced the death of your own prime identification mechanism?

Yeah, it can be very nerve racking. It’s not rainbow and unicorns which I’m sure your aware off. 

I understand what your trying to say ?‍♂️ 

On 2/7/2021 at 6:18 AM, Craigxt22 said:

 

Yeah thanks, I don't feel so crazy today. Although last night I kept waking up at random times with some weird, but pretty intense energy (?) flowing around my body, mainly around my stomach, heart and throat if I can pin point it correctly. Anyone else had this?

 

 

I’ve had some pretty cool/ intense energy experiences when I was awakening and I feel that it opened me up so much. Best of luck! Surrendering is key.

[Consilience]

@Craigxt22 These symptoms will pass. The only way forward is to continue to walk the path. These symptoms are the ego mind essentially freaking out because of how deeply you’re pressing. Follow your gut and heart with how much or little you should be practicing.

For example this past weekend I had a day where I meditated for 3 hours, had a beautiful release of trauma and was very conscious of what I am. The next day, very depressing ego backlash and could barely sit for an hour. These things ebb and flow, finding the peace independent of our particular state is very important. Eventually even the lows become just as perfect as the highs.