Be wary of the hypersensitive narcissist! I wasn't...

[Nahm]

@Preety_India

Thank you. Very clarifying. I have seen the uniquely reoccurring theme of increasing avoidance of relationships and social settings, and that makes a lot more sense now. Unfortunately those I’ve talked with didn’t address it until their relationships and or health had reached a critical point. The hypersensitive vs sensitivity makes more sense. There’s a weird theme (from like, only three people in my limited direct experience) in that they are actually proud, or affirmative of the behavior, which is interesting. They truly believe their own behavior is that of other people’s. But maybe they don’t actually and the facade is just fooling me. Hard to say. You are right though. More sensitivity with other people, more social interaction, and more sensitive in regard to their ‘inner talk’ makes the big change, and in the healing from within sense the body changes trajectory’s. The seem to either die or inevitably choose how they feel over what they think of themself. 

[Nahm]

3 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

It works through co opting the inner monologue of human beings.  It pretends to be a part of the personality.

Yes! Rings very true. On one occasion it had ‘seeped in’ to the spouse. She was mirroring more or less and didn’t realize it because it was a creeping in overtime. She was crying and kept saying “I forgot who I was!”. It was such a powerful & weird mix, expression wise of anger and love. Appreciating the input. This makes it a lot clearer to me in hindsight. 

3 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

Have you noticed that when it works through people, that those who have it all talk and react the same way?  it has a similar thought and writing structure?  Like a legion almost.  So yeah, I am thinking that the inoculation for it is a different sort of internal monologue as Nahm is saying.

I have noticed a prevalent theme that is unique, which your comment brought to mind. All three were compulsive comparers, but didn’t suspect everyone else was not inner monologuing the same way. Took a minute for them to untangle, because they felt bad for the comparing thought, yet masked it to themself deriving a sense of superiority. They literally thought this was typical of everyone, and that most people hid it, and they didn’t, which fed into the superiority complex. Messy. ? 

[SamC]

11 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

@SamC That's true, can't argue there.
Looking over my own posts, I can see some inconsistencies with my words.
It comes from a good place - I've been questioning my own narcissism for a while, and got stuck in a personality disorder cult and fought it for a good part of 2020, and during that process I learned a lot.  It is as though folks get stuck in a mud slinging paradigm.  And these things can also kind of worm their way into you, even if your personality is initially different.

I have been having a hard time gauging my personality because I don't have a good sense of self.  A lot of the symptoms you posted I relate to, except that I tend to look into them openly, as in, I am aware of my flaws.  Although I question if I can change them.

My biggest fear is that people will get stuck in this, and that folks will forget to look inwards - it can become addictive looking for these signs.  I feel a bit wary now, when I see this, because I found that many in the communities for recovery happen to actually be these sorts of people.  And so that is why I wanted to broaden it a bit to include the entire spectrum of what this mind virus entails so that this situation does not happen.  I have a tendency to be talking to people and also working through some mind problems within myself at the same time - so when I see similar threads, I feel the need to reenact it to get a better understanding of what it means experientially.

I genuinely believe that there is something going on with humans that is causing a form of almost psychotic like division that people are not paying attention to.  And I am both victim and perpetrator of it - I think it is a uniform energy - an archetypal type of energy.  I am worried that the human race is going to become very weak if we can't see it, and that something major could happen and none of us will be strong enough to face it, or even see coming because we will be too busy fighting each other.

I feel a strange pandemic when it comes to this.  I worry that no one is immune to it.
Here is a good example of what I did that could be similar to this situation - so I was arguing with someone on here and I was triggered by, basically a slew of traumatic things that I have been running from for years - I kept all the signs of it, and listed them outwards on this person - and instead of throwing it back, they internalized it and looked to see if it was within themselves.

Just like with what you have done.  So... what if I am wrong?  And in these moments of blindness and not seeing myself, someone takes to heart what I say and then affixes that onto themselves?  And then it just spreads.  But I don't feel narcissistic.  I don't want to be more special, or more important, I just have a series of actions that I grew up with and was raised around that have solidified.  So in this case, how do we make people so strong within themselves, that when this happens from others, they do not then become carriers of that person's pain?  Because it is not my intention to have people carry my pain for me, it just seems to be how this plays out.

I score lower than average on narcissism tests also.

@Nahm@SamC Yes, as I was writing this, that is it.  it is like, to heal it, you have to have a strong identity.
The thing that creates narcissism is the same mechanism that allows it to control you in a relationship.  It is an actual energy that can be interacted with, it works through the collective shadow as a whole.  It is something that has gotten out of control in human beings that we need to see not from a divisive standpoint, but from how it can come about within you, and then you won't be subject to it's influence. It works through co opting the inner monologue of human beings.  It pretends to be a part of the personality.

Have you noticed that when it works through people, that those who have it all talk and react the same way?  it has a similar thought and writing structure?  Like a legion almost.  So yeah, I am thinking that the inoculation for it is a different sort of internal monologue as Nahm is saying.

To give an example of this - because your inner reflects your outer, sometimes the shadow can take on seemingly a life of itself.  I woke up half asleep in the middle of the night to see a dark shadow, which is my exercise equipment, but in that moment it was a reflection of my fearful internal state and it told me point blank, "You can see me because you have an unaddressed darkness in you that you are not working through."

I am and have been building up momentum for a new train of thought, but I am not quite there yet.  It is on the very tip of my fingers, and I want to try it and move with it and see what happens.  What Nahm was saying about LOA with his dream board is what machine elves told me as well in this video here:

Do you see the way they are moving like that?  They are a unified centralized point of awareness that can split itself into many, and they weave consciousness/love and coat themselves in it equally and move with universal flow. 
Our emotions work in the same way - so rather than being run by them, we are supposed to feel into the very depth of it and have the same level of nuance, from a heightened place.  Our species should be moving in that similar pattern.  They are legion, and we can be, too.  They say for each human it is an internal process.  But we each have an immense amount of power to shape the future simply by being aware of our emotions.  (I suck at the btw fyi)  You can see all the various nuanced feelings that they have created, like a show, everything is a meme that we are supposed to be gathering to share knowledge with one another in this choreographed way.
The thing that is stopping us from seeing this and working in such a way are these false defense mechanisms that humans have been infected with.
When LOA works its best, we synchronize.  We dance.  

(I'll try to live by what I say but it isn't the easiest thing...)

You're a true inspiration. I am so so impressed by your self awarness.  Wow, where have you gotten this awarness from? I interpret it as that you some time ago discovered the narccism within yourself and than integrated/ resolved it. To be able to do that and go past that is so amzingly fucking rare and hard. Another amazing thing is that you say that you didnt saw it as you, just a conditioning.

How did you do it? Whree did you get this level of awarness? Any tips? What have your methods been? What made it click? When was the enough is enough moment? How long did it take?

Love.

[SamC]

@Keyhole

1 minute ago, SamC said:

You're a true inspiration. I am so so impressed by your self awarness.  Wow, where have you gotten this awarness from? I interpret it as that you some time ago discovered the narccism within yourself and than integrated/ resolved it. To be able to do that and go past that is so amzingly fucking rare and hard. Another amazing thing is that you say that you didnt saw it as you, just a conditioning.

How did you do it? Whree did you get this level of awarness? Any tips? What have your methods been? What made it click? When was the enough is enough moment? How long did it take?

Love.

Forgot to tag you

[Keyhole]

12 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Yes! Rings very true. On one occasion it had ‘seeped in’ to the spouse. She was mirroring more or less and didn’t realize it because it was a creeping in overtime. She was crying and kept saying “I forgot who I was!”. It was such a powerful & weird mix, expression wise of anger and love. Appreciating the input. This makes it a lot clearer to me in hindsight. 

Quote

Was it from her own narcissism or was it that the other person had brought it into her?
What I have noticed is that you can be codependent, and then over time the traits will fill up the spaces where you don't know who you are with narcissism traits.  Have you seen the movie SOUL?  It is a good analogy to how this works.

 

16 minutes ago, Nahm said:

I have noticed a prevalent theme that is unique, which your comment brought to mind. All three were compulsive comparers, but didn’t suspect everyone else was not inner monologuing the same way. Took a minute for them to untangle, because they felt bad for the comparing thought, yet masked it to themself deriving a sense of superiority. They literally thought this was typical of everyone, and that most people hid it, and they didn’t, which fed into the superiority complex. Messy. ? 

Yep, I do this, too.  I think it comes from being pitted against others.  And it comes and goes depending on the type of environment one is in.  For me, it comes not from a place of initial comparison, but from looking for that in others and then it tends to become a big mess.  My first instinct is to 'fight' because nothing else worked in the past, it just became ingrained as the best method to run away quickly - like a paper tiger.  Or something that puffs up but is actually really quite small.  It seems to me though, like a lot of people do this.  Are you sure that comparison is not more common than you think?

[Keyhole]

13 minutes ago, SamC said:

You're a true inspiration. I am so so impressed by your self awarness.  Wow, where have you gotten this awarness from? I interpret it as that you some time ago discovered the narccism within yourself and than integrated/ resolved it. To be able to do that and go past that is so amzingly fucking rare and hard. Another amazing thing is that you say that you didnt saw it as you, just a conditioning.

How did you do it? Whree did you get this level of awarness? Any tips? What have your methods been? What made it click? When was the enough is enough moment? How long did it take?

Love.

Haha, no I'm just generic garbage.  Honestly, I didn't do it myself, I have spirit guides - if I do something that doesn't go towards Truth - then I will get an indication that I am going in the wrong direction during an awakening or in a dream or I can just feel if I am doing it wrong - but to be honest, there is still a long ways to go.  Maybe in a few years it will be resolved.
The conditioning part is well documented by Freud - he called it a toxic super-ego.  It is the programming that your environment and parents put into you.

Honestly?  I journal very openly with myself and don't hide anything from myself - and then I open up YouTube, and in the recommendeds there will be videos that can help with this that are spot on, and the more honest I am, the more on point the algorithm is and so I use what I find from there to help heal.  Because it is a learning machine, you can even reenact your trauma, and the suggestions that you get will go opposite of what your ego wants - so I had a reaction not that long ago, and this is what I was given in return:

And it's just, you know, a robot, so it is programmed for efficiency not judgement and will spit out whatever you need in order to work on your shadow.  The more detailed you are with yourself, the more accurate it will be for you.  If the algorithm gets stale, which sometimes happens, you can have multiple accounts that you connect, but leave alone for weeks at a time, and those ones will have fresh suggestions.
Sometimes you do have to weed out suggestions that bolster the ego, but this gets easier over time.  I connect it to my Instagram and deviantart as well so I can find artwork that fits in with what I am working on, and then sometimes a song and a picture will come up that has a transcendental quality to it.

My self awareness comes and goes, depending on if I feel judged.  So if there is a sense of judgement, then I get paranoid and can't see straight and still have a very long way to go with that.

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole I like her soft demeanor. Instantly subscribed.. Also appreciate her autumn lipstick color. 

I want that lipstick so badly now.. 

Edited February 4, 2021 by Preety_India

[Nahm]

20 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

Was it from her own narcissism or was it that the other person had brought it into her?

The latter then the prior. She ‘mirrored’ and ‘struck back’ with victimization. 

20 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

What I have noticed is that you can be codependent, and then over time the traits will fill up the spaces where you don't know who you are with narcissism traits.  Have you seen the movie SOUL?  It is a good analogy to how this works.

For sure. Collective consciousness wise it’s the whole club.     Not yet. Lookin forward to it though. ?

20 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

Are you sure that comparison is not more common than you think?

? I don’t know really, so hard to say. 

[Florian]

6 hours ago, Keyhole said:

coming from someone who had done over 5k hours of research on narcissism back in 2015/2016 after a relationship

Holy fuck?

[Keyhole]

@Preety_India I do too, she is very mellow.  I like her demeanor and she described things quite well pertaining to the 'wad of incorrect thoughts' that bad experiences can leave us with.

44 minutes ago, Nahm said:

The latter then the prior. She ‘mirrored’ and ‘struck back’ with victimization. 

For sure. Collective consciousness wise it’s the whole club.     Not yet. Lookin forward to it though. ?

? I don’t know really, so hard to say. 

I see.  Do you have an understanding of the ego, id and super ego?  This can be helpful when working with folks who are dealing with mirroring, projections and the like.  I'm still a neophyte when it comes to understanding it, but I am finding it beneficial.  It would work well with your stuff because many of the blocks that people have in creating this for themselves are due to how these three interplay.  

The move is SOOO good, I was really surprised!  

@Florian Yeah, there was a lot out there - and a lot of different types of psychopathologies that I had never heard of to have to weed through.  It did set me on my spiritual path, so that's good.  Kind of dovetailed into that, which it seems like a lot of folks recovering from end up on a journey like that.
I was reading up so much on it because I wanted to cure him of it so he could love me.

[Preety_India]

@Keyhole I have no understanding of ego or super ego. I never looked into that. I might have to. 

[Nahm]

7 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

I see.  Do you have an understanding of the ego, id and super ego?  This can be helpful when working with folks who are dealing with mirroring, projections and the like.  I'm still a neophyte when it comes to understanding it, but I am finding it beneficial.  It would work well with your stuff because many of the blocks that people have in creating this for themselves are due to how these three interplay.  

The move is SOOO good, I was really surprised!  

This was the conclusion they came to. Yes, thank you. 

[AtheisticNonduality]

https://i.insider.com/5ef22ba6988ee3220a5e5894?width=1071&format=jpeg

[Keyhole]

@Preety_India The super ego is what holds all of the negative self talk that people put on you.  Check out RG's work on it, he has some good stuff on this.

@Nahm Nice, I guess they were pretty self aware too.  Good job on them.

[Nahm]

@Keyhole

Yeah. Super nice. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Nahm what exactly you want to know? They wont show their sensibility that easy in outside world it will be with people they trust and they will become annoyed and agressive if you queastion their flaws or something but more likely think to themselvs what this guy knows i know best and ignore the whole thing lets move on...

[Nahm]

@NoSelfSelf

I hear ya. Just kids though, really. 

[IAmReallyImportant]

Nobody is adult.

I worked with narcissists and people who had relationship problems with them.
The reason why people spend much time on understanding socially toxic pathologies or disorders like narcism or sociopathy is less of pure intellectual reasons but more because they try to protect themselves. From themselves. Actually, they can't handle the relationship emotionally, because they think the behaviour of a socially non-coherent person has something to do with themselves. The truth is this is just an emotional pattern they are not familiar with.

An ego is a conceptualization, as well as an 'super ego' or other connotation. In reality, an ego is an ego. Like most people have unconcioussly.

The interesting thing on this whole discussion is:

People who blame narcist for being the problem obviously project their emotions on the narcists while narcisists do the same thing. Now who is right? Who is better? Nobody. Everybody is responsible for their emotions and decisions. Giving someone the responsibility of the problem other then oneself does not solve anything.

By the way: Teal Swan was analyzed by many pathologists and the majority of them says that she is probably narcisistic.

Example

And that's ok. I like her teachings as well.

Edited February 5, 2021 by IAmReallyImportant

[Preety_India]

@FishOilDiet my name is Preety 

 

[Preety_India]

@FishOilDiet I'm not Mrs. I'm a Miss. Lol.